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I think it’s important that you all know something about what comes out of my kitchen: it ain’t all pretty folks. Not every creation that comes out of my kitchen is pretty, polished and ready for its blog debut. The reality is that I have my fair share of flops, dropped eggs, burned butter and dirty dishes… I just don’t usually show those kitchen tidbits with you. Tricky, right?
Today is your lucky day. Here’s a peek at the flops, disasters and otherwise icky recipes I’ve tried and trashed.
Chilled Blueberry Soup. Ok, seriously. Who are you trying to fool? This was just an elaborate recipe for blueberry juice. You tricked me and I resent you Blueberry Soup. This won’t be soon forgotten.
Low Fat Chocolate Mousse with tofu. I think I over whipped the eggs with this little darling. It was so thick and tough just all around noooooooot cute.
Greek Yogurt Frozen Yogurt. I wanted to love you, but holy heck you were thick and rich. Too thick. Too rich.
This Nectarine Cobbler overflowed… big time… while I was one the phone. There was screaming and cursing… mostly because I should have known better.
You were supposed to be a fresh peach scone. Instead you decided to be a bland peach cookie… that’s just not good enough.
Ooooh Cinnamon Rolls. You didn’t fail me. I love you.
Chocolate Chip Potato Chip Cookies. I must have eaten a cool dozen of these cookies trying to decide if they were good or not. I knew with each cookie that they were absolute rubbish. Bleck.
Apricot Scones. Flat and beige Apricot Scones. Note to self: figure out how to make scones. Seriously, how have you not mastered this yet Joy?
Avocado Milkshake. Boooooring picture plus do not like. The photo and taste gods were not with me on this day. For this, and for all of these recipes that I tried and failed.. well, I suppose I just have to shrug my shoulders and laugh you off. Thanks for the lessons… and the memories?
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lol! What a great way to start my morning after delivering samples of my stuff! The brownies I delivered made me a little annoyed. They’ve been sinking in the middle. >.< I have to say that the thing I have issues with is pie crust. My mom can do it without thinking of it and it always comes out fine. Mine always ends up too sticky, too dry, etc, and I always end up cursing and calling my mom for advice. lol. I also made five different kinds of scones yesterday and was about to point you to my blog, but I see Matthew did that for me. *blush* I agree with the others, though. Even your flops look good. Thank you for sharing! =)
Thanks so much for sharing these flop stories, Joy! I admire all the incredible creations you bust out in the kitchen, but do appreciate your modesty and honesty! We (at zomppa.com) can’t get enough of your candid conversation and adorable commentary. If you’d ever like to guest blog on our website, we’d be totally honored! Take good care. Patty
Blueberry soup, reminds me I had chocolate soup at a very fancy restaurant the other week. I had to try it, where else was that goingt o happen? It was served with a scoop of coconut sorbet floating in it, and a quenelle of carrot and coriander somethingorother. The coconut sorbet was awesome. The carrot and coriander puree was yum. The chocolate soup was.. well, I think it would have been better hot and in a cup, with a squirt of whipped cream on top. It wasn’t overly sweet, and it was very chocolatey… but..hm, no.
But, at least I tried it, and that’s all you can ever want really!
Oh- so you ARE human after all!
:)
This is a great post…thanks for sharing.
well this is surely intersting! than even masters make flops!
In search of the best scone EVER? Try the cream scones Deb has up on Smitten Kitchen from CI. I will never bake another type of scone again. It’s all about the heavy cream (http://smittenkitchen.com/2006/11/dream-a-little-dream-of-scone/). With dried apricots, I’d imagine they’d be out of this world.
I think the blueberry soup is my favorite part! I once tried to make an apple frittata for a brunch that I was hosting. All I will say is that the eggs didn’t set up, the apple lost it’s flavor and became chewy, and I had to whip up some good old scrambled eggs, STAT! Thanks for reminding us all that even the best chefs (or bakers!) have bad days in the kitchen!
hahaha–this was too funny! i have more than my share of lousy flops or things that just come out plain ugly… but i get so irritated that i delete their pictures immediately, so i never have to think of them again!
Thanks for making the rest of us feel better. And, my scones sometimes end up looking and tasting like hockey pucks. It should not be so difficult.
Thank you for sharing. And I made scones that looked just like that. I think it was that the recipe called for self rising flour and I put in all purpose by mistake. : (
What a great idea for a post! It’s nice to be reminded that for every perfect recipe and picture, there’s one that wasn’t so perfect – we’re all human of course! :D
…Yay! You’re one of us! lol… :o)
…Thanks for sharing this Joy!
…Blessings…
Love this post – now we all know that you aren’t perfect. I feel like we can officially hang out now ;)
I make scones often, and never heard of ‘rolling’ them! Maybe that’s why yours are flat! As for failures, since I pretty much use recipes I get from YOU, my little muse, I haven’t had one in a while!!! However, there was the gorgeous 3 layer chocolate cake that I made, put in the fridge to ‘set’, and upon opening said fridge 2 hours later, discovered the top 2 layers laying alongside the plate they had slid off!!! How much fun it was cleaning chocolate pudding/frosting off the shelf for over an hour!!! You’re still the best…..outtakes be damned!!!
Well, for the scones. I really dislike using a pastry blender to cut in the butter – so I just take the cold butter and using my box grater – grate it into the recipe, then hand mix it in and then add wet ingredients. It works every time, even with rolling it out. The bits of butter melt in the scone. Very yummy. Glad to know that I am not the only one that burns things, makes messes in the oven and have total flops that my husband says, “You don’t have to make this one again.” Thanks for sharing.
I loved this post, and I adore your blog, and I think that you’re just lovely! Thank you for the out-takes. I don’t feel quite so bad about my battle to make madeleine cookies work in my not-so-friendly oven.
Love this post! Avocado milkshake was bad? Or just not your thing? Next time you venture to SF, visit Mitchell’s Ice Cream on San Jose Ave. (not far from Misson/Caesar Chavez area), they have the best avocado ice cream, which makes for a great avocado shake.
avocado milkshakes are easy!
its like..one or two avocados
a couple scoop(s) of vanilla ice cream (or a couple tablespoons of condensed milk..however sweet you want it)
and milk! (however thick you want it)
yum :D
i like mine with condensed milk, and my dad crushes in ice to make it all cold, but you can pop it in the fridge and that’d do the same thing without watering it down later on :)
Wow, it’s a hard world for cookies and desserts of any kind. The selection to be on your blog looks pretty tough! :)
Ah you give the rest of us hope. But….avocado milkshake? Just the thought makes me shiver.
i made banana bread today to send to my sister out of the country. i baked it in one of those disposable pans. it looked so nice and pretty when i took it out. the toothpick i inserted in the middle looked clean, but when i cut it it was still mushy in the middle! that’s the second time i’ve done that! not cool!
I think you are just so adorable. Reading your blog is like chatting with a friend. I am burning with envy about all those people who get to meet you in person and have cupcakes with you.
By the way, I may have missed it—did you go to your High School Reunion?
Thanks for a yummy (and human!) blog.
this makes feel better, your blog is always so full of great things, i feel like i have many more ‘cutting room floor’ episodes at home than real post-able food, good to see that i’m not the only one :)
Haha I guess you are a little bit like the rest of us after all!!
It makes me freel good to know that I’m not the only one who makes mistakes or has recipes flop sometimes!
I have a fabulous scone recipe, though, and I’m planning on sharing it on my blog soon…so please stop by!
We all have our moments, don’t we? Was fun going through that list. Tofu is mousse? I can never try lot fat :P And potato chips in biscuits? You’re one brave girl, Joy!
What a cute post :) Good to know I’m not the only one makes mistakes in the kitchen!
Try the Barefoot Contessa’s recipe for cranberry orange scones – they were easily the most delicious thing i’ve ever baked! I promise you won’t be disappointed (:
Great stuff. Kitchen vulnerability is possibly the best kind. And while you can rock out the cakes and cookies and pies, scones are actually one of the few baking things I can do well. If you’re ever in the southeast, I’ll trade you a scone party for… hmmm… pretty much anything you want to teach/cook for me. I know; it’s a tempting offer.
Love this post! I’m glad that better bakers mess up in the kitchen. Last week, while hanging out with close friend and her friends, close friend said to the group “Lucy’s a great baker.” And I replied “Yes, yes I am.”
Ummm, but then… later that day I massively failed at two muffin recipes. Because of my ridiculously cheap pans and a stove that overcooks, I had to turn the chocolate chip muffins into bread (my safety muffin) at the last minute and my orange poppyseed muffins were too brown around the sides. On top of cooking awkwardly they both tasted bad. I didn’t even know chocolate chip anything could taste bad. *sigh*
Then this week I was successful at cooking really bland strawberry ricotta cheese muffins to perfection.
All I want is a good muffin I take to work for a snack! Is this so wrong!?!
I have had such a love/hate relationship with Marth Stewart since a friend gave me Pies and Tarts over twenty years ago because obviously everything she, or her thirty stylists, touch turn out perfect, I didn’t realize I was falling into the same trap with cooking blogs. You are such a breath of fresh air!
Funny FYI-my little golden retriever puppy chomped the corner of the book while in the book case with his tiny teething teeth. Martha came to my hometown on a tour and I had her autograph this book, because my friend had inscribed “Pull up your bootstraps. Love Martha” when life was teething on me. Martha was not amused.
Wish I could have tried your avocado milkshake! Totally understand your hatred of that blueberry soup — I raged at Gourmet after I tried a watermelon soup that ended up dreadful and making my entire kitchen sticky. Those kitchen failures teach us, though — sometimes more than the successes… Thanks for sharing your flop file!
i love this post – i’m new to your site, but just love it. the only scones i’ve made that are consistently light and fluffy (i live at altitude) are ina’s dried strawberry scones. these are gorgeous, although i haven’t yet tried your commentor’s suggestion of smitten kitchen/ci’s scones. those will be next, just to compare with ina’s.
Love you blog…This post shows how mistakes happen! I made you red velvet cookies the other day, tasted delicious…didnt loook to pretty though :/ any tips?
Check out my blog!!
Chelsey
I grew up drinking avocado milkshake and eating avocado ice cream as a child! Avocados in a savory dish? Still tastes weird to me….opposites eh?
I make scones all the time (though, for the last few years, from a mix). I think they are better a little dry. Then I can plie on the clotted cream (which I do make from scratch) and jam. so good. :)
It’s nice to hear about the flops especially from great cooks and bakers such a yourself. Thank you for sharing and confirming that it’s normal to have failures in the kitchen.
Oh my god, I love you!
Not only do you have the most awesome recipes (none of your recipes that I’ve tried has ever flopped on me, ever) but you’re also a human being. I think that’s the best thing about your blog- you don’t try to sound all overly professional and perfect. You don’t mind sharing little weaknesses and mistakes and imperfections with us. I admire your honesty. This is real, this is you and you’re not changing yourself to impress anyone.
I am so, so, SO glad I found this blog. For reals. ;)
Thank you.
Do you freeze your scones before you bake them? You probably already know this, but it helps them keep their shape instead of melting and spreading.
Hey Joy, I love you, you’re great. But can I ask a favor? Could you possibly create a recipe index of all of your recipes on the site? I don’t know anything about blogging, so I don’t know how hard this is. I hope I’m not asking the impossible. I absolutely love your site and I would cook more of your recipes if I could browse them all in one place. Thanks!
I have posted several of my flops as well… not everything comes out perfect. (believe it or not)
Joy, you’re an awesome baker! I love baking too, and yeah I know about flops. Sometimes I just get excited about experimenting, and uhh…things don’t taste very good. I’ve made my first scones last week, and they were okay, but I guess I’m not a scone person. I used this recipe though and it was easy! (I froze butter the night before and grated it into the flour mixture and froze it again before adding the liquids/raisins. I used vanilla yogurt instead of sour cream.) Maybe you didn’t add enough baking powder? Or rolled out/kneaded too much? Good luck! Oh, also, Deb from smittenkitchen’s recipe looks really good too, as someone suggested earlier.
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Worlds-Best-Scones-From-Scotland-to-the-Savoy-to-the-US/Detail.aspx
http://www.cedarmountainfarm.com/recipes.htm#Scones“>Best. Scones. Ever. For reals.
Ellie Krieger has a really great Chocolate Tofu Mousse Recipe http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ellie-krieger/dark-chocolate-mousse-recipe/index.html , it has never failed me. I love not to tell people what its made out of and only tell them after they have eaten it all!!!
Opps forgot to say that lemonade and cream scones are easy and taste the best http://shadowfoot.com/recipe/lemonade-scones . Also the best possible flop you can have which happens quite literally is when a Pavlova falls :( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pavlova_%28food%29 .
Hey, you gotta take the bad with the good, right? I love hearing about the flops as well as the masterpieces. :)
Here is my tutorial on scones: http://syrupandhoney.typepad.com/blog/2009/07/scones.html
This isn’t the food network my friend, we’re all messing up stuff in the kitchen all over the place! My next post is actually going to be about some banana bread I completely screwed up but can’t figure out how. Seriously, banana bread?
LOL I can not tell you how many times I have tasted and tasted something, knowing FULL WELL that it was not good enough to do anything with or share with anyone, and that I did not really want to eat it… and it’s doubly bad because afterwards you don’t even feel like the calories were *worth* anything. Geez. It’s one of the (few) curses of baking, I suppose. Thanks for sharing :)
Although they must have been frustrating as they were happening, I love how you can look back and recognize the humor in your baking failures. Better yet, you know which recipes you want to try again and which recipes you want to bury in a deep hole in the backyard. Thanks for sharing your “flops,” for admitting that not every recipe will be a “winner,” and for encouraging all of us to keep at it!
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