Ooooh God. This is embarrassing. This is about to happen.
Here’s a small excerpt from Joy’s (before she was the Baker) diary circa late 1996. I had strong feelings about a lot of things back then… my first crush named Hayden, my best friend turned enemy, the television show Seinfeld, making the volleyball team and…. MTV’s The Real World. Yea… I’m not so sure about that last one either. I dunno. Here’s an actual excerpt:
Um. Diary. Seriously. (P.S.) Real World Miami sucked just to let you know.
Reasons to be on Real World…
1) I’m athletic… DUH
2) I’m funny… so how bout them Dodgers… who’s on first… knock knock.
3) I’m diverse. I’m a black girl (woman).
4) Kissing. But not on camera.
5) I’m from Los Angeles… with bright lights and clear skies.
6) I’m a country music lover… Come on baby let’s go to Vegas.
*HELL-OOO
My heavens! I laughed out loud when I found this little gem in my teenage diary. Ooooh but believe me… that little book is full of all sorts of priceless wallowing and poetry so terrible… so foul… that I can barely even stand to revisit it. This little list though…. hot dang… so funny. I think I love reason number three the most. Why did I feel the need to put the ‘woman’ in parentheses? My heavens. What a weirdo.
I just had to get that off my chest… now, cake.
I have gone through many a Red Velvet Cake recipe but I’ve finally found my favorite. The Humming Bakery Cookbook is just a dream when it comes to cakes and cupcakes. I turned my favorite Red Velvet Cupcakes into a cake with Fluffy White Seven Minute Frosting and topped with whole monster with toasted coconut. The recipe has a good dose of cocoa powder and buttermilk, making the cake both flavorful and moist. This beauty makes for a super lovely party cake. It’s impressive.
Can’t imagine Red Velvet without Cream Cheese Frosting… we’ve got that recipe too!
Red Velvet Cake with Fluffy White Frosting and Toasted Coconut
from The Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook
makes 2 8-inch or 9-inch round cakes
8 Tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/2 cup sugar
2 egg
5 Tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
4 Tablespoons red food coloring mixed with 2 Tablespoons water
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup buttermilk
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking soda
3 teaspoons distilled white vinegar
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour two 8-inch or 9-inch round cake pans. Set aside.
In the bowl of a stand mixer fit with a paddle attachment, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about three minutes. Turn mixer to high and add the eggs. Scrape down the bowl and beat until well incorporated.
In a separate bowl mix together cocoa, vanilla and red food coloring to make a thick paste. Add to the batter, mixing thoroughly until completely combined. You may need to stop the mixer to scrape the bottom of the bowl, making sure that all the batter gets color.
Turn mixer to low and slowly add half of the buttermilk. Add half of the flour and salt and mix until combined. Scrape the bowl and repeat the process with the remaining milk and flour. Beat on high until smooth.
Turn mixer to low and add baking soda and white vinegar. Turn to high and beat a few more minutes.
Spoon batter into prepared cake pans and bake for 25-35 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the center cupcake comes out clean.
Let rest in the pan for 20 minutes, then invert onto a cooling rack to cool completely before frosting.
Fluffy Seven Minute Frosting
from Epicurious.com
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
3 large egg whites
1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
In large metal bowl, whisk together 1/3 cup water, sugar, egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt. Set bowl over pan of barely simmering water and mix with handheld electric mixer at low speed. Gradually increase speed to high, beating until mixture holds stiff peaks, about 5 minutes.
Transfer bowl from pan to folded kitchen towel on counter and continue beating until mixture is cool and billowy, about 2 minutes more. Beat in vanilla. (Frosting can be made 4 hours ahead and chilled, covered.)
Toasted Coconut
1 1/2 cup sweetened shredded coconut
Spread coconut on top of a foil lined baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees F for 6-10 minutes, tossing coconut occasionally so it browns evenly. Keep a close eye on the coconut, it burns quickly!
{ 106 comments… read them below or add one }
I totally laughed out load reading this! You are hilarious, thanks so much for that! Oh and the cake looks delicious too, I might just have to make that this weekend for no reason other than pure pleasure.
Your sense of humor is right up my alley. I absolutely love reading your posts. And that red velvet cake just makes it even better.
Yuuuum, coconut! Can you belive I have gone my entire life without eating a red velvet cake? I think the time has come for that to end.
Wow….
If my journals ever get out – oh man – I don’t even want to think about it!
The cake looks d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s.
Looks fantastic – I’ve only made red velvet once and it was a disaster! Maybe I should try this recipe – yum!
Aw, i wish it were someone i knew’s birthday soon, this would be damn impressive! The seven minute frosting scares me, anything more than beating some icing sugar and butter together is a bit daunting, hopefully i’ll be able to pull it off as easy as you!
i understand. i was a little intimidated before i mastered this frosting too.. the truth is… it’s totally easy! you might be surprised!
HILARIOUS!!!!!! Thanks so much for sharing that laugh!! I cant imagine the things Id read in my old journals! haha!
Beautiful red velvet cake! I LOVE that you put toasted coconut all over it! yummy!
LMAO. I knew I should have kept a diary – look at all the good laughs you’ll have over the years!
And p.s. – The Real World, Season 1…was THE BOMB.
p.p.s – Lovin’ the look of that gorgeous cake.
hahahhaa! THE BOMB! But that sure is takin’ it back back back in the day. dang!
This looks absolutely gorgeous! I’ve never had red velvet cake before, I want this one!
you seriously just make me so happy. :)
This looks amazingly delicious! I just made some red velvet cupcakes a few weeks ago. Can’t wait to try this!
Okay, I feel so much better knowing that I’m not the only person who starts out (multiple) journal entries with “um”, talks directly to the diary like I’m talking to an actual person, and puts things in parentheses. In reading your blog I’ve discovered that we seem to think similar, so I like you. Not in a creepy way. But I like this cake in a creepy way. I’m making it for my boyfriend who’s coming in from Afghanistan for leave this weekend and has NEVER HAD RED VELVET CAKE!! I KNOW!! I blame myself. And I’m making him pancakes. Lots of pancakes. Wait this isn’t my blog…that’s enough of me talking. Thanks for being awesome! :)
you’re seriously hilarious! make this cake for your boyfriend… and quick! although. if he’s never had red velvet before, you should totally make it with cream cheese frosting… that’s important. Do it!
Gosh! This made me want to revisit my diary also and read about the cheezy things I was soooo passionate or bored about those days! Haha!
But the cake looks fabulous! Thanks for the recipe. Will definitely try this one out as I’m starting to do trial baking for my Christmas food goody giveaways.
uhhhhh…. you’re black?
ha! seriously. hahaha! yes. i’m black.. half black. my dad is black… so yea. black. on occasion i like to refer to myself as a black girl (woman)… which is totally weird.
I LOVE reading old journals – and yes, they usually make me laugh!! And they make me remember obscure things I’ve forgotten. Thanks for sharing!! I think I am the only person out there taht does not like red velvet cake – but yours looks very good =)
Pure brilliance, Joy. In my opinion, Real World Seattle was totally the best. But I might be a little biased because it’s where I’m from. Thanks for linking to the cream cheese frosting recipe. I’ve been wanting to make the red velvet cake from the Baked cookbook, but I just don’t know if I can do it without the cream cheese, as they suggest. P.S. Way to be diverse :)
Don’t even get me started on Real World Seattle. That was totally my favorite season. That dude with the two different colored eyes? And the drama and fish throwing and face slapping. Classic!
Dear Joy- this looks scrumptious. I am a bit terrified of cake baking, but may need to look my fears directly in the eye and go for it with this recipe… Thanks for the inspiration!
Do it! Face your fears! If I can make pasta then you can totally make a cake!
LOL, love the diary entry!
Now, seriously, I’ve been pondering this for the last 15 mins since reading this entry – what exactly makes 7 minute frosting “the bomb”? What makes it SO GOOD that I have to try it? I just can’t seem to make myself stand there for 7 mins beating this mixture….Is it the flavor? Fluffiness? Shiney-ness??
Anyone??
7 minute frosting is super full of flavor like cream cheese frosting, but i totally love how fluffy and shiny it is. using a handheld electric mixer will make the process pretty painless. if you aren’t convinced… cream cheese frosting might be the way to go.
Oh my gosh, we were the same person back in 1996, only my crush’s name was Jeff, not Hayden! Haha! I think I burned all my old diaries because I just don’t have the confidence to ever go back and reread them (or let anyone else see them!)
Thanks for the laugh this morning! :~)
oh wow… I think I will have to make that for the next work birthday… minus the coconut (we have a no-tree-nuts policy at work… damn)
Personally, I wanted to be on Road Rules, especially if it was in europe. I digress… I can not wait to make this cake!!! It looks bananas. Thanks for sharing your wit and wisdom. LOVE IT!
I am so excited about this cake! Also… I am excited about your diary entry. Thanks for sharing. I feel the need to go read my embarrassing teenage diaries before my hubby comes home from word and discovers what a dork I am.
Lovely!!Delicious!
That cake looks so heavenly!
As far as journals/diaries, I specifically kept one page of self-wallowing pitty so I could remember what it was like to be a teenage girl… I don’t care if all the rest of my journal gets destroyed…
Do you really beat the cake batter that long? Wouldn’t it dry out?
i haven’t had a problem with cake drying out. if you’re wary… well heck! you certainly don’t have to beat it that long… no worries!
Haha! I used to LOVE the Real world, too. Your cake looks amazing!
Yay! I threw all my old teenage diaries out because I felt like a. I would never be able to read them again with wincing, and b. the real therapy was in the actual act of writing back then. So now I’m skeleton-free! :D But thanks for the recipe, it looks so good! I’ve tried a few red velvet recipes before but this one looks great and it doesn’t call for sour cream, which I’m currently out of. Having a girls night-in this weekend and this looks perfect for that.
please please please post more of those wonderful teenage joy tidbits!! and…thanks for the frosting!
deal!
Have you ever heard of the show Mortified here in LA? It’s this amazing show where people read funny excerpts from their childhood diaries and man, the stuff is pure gold! you’d be a perfect candidate!
I have heard of that show! amazing! totally totally amazing!
HAHAHAH! I love taking a trip down memory lane and reading all those old journal entries. That one really is priceless. Have you ever heard of the show”Get Mortified?” I think it would be right up your alley. And that cake looks delicious too. :) (you can find the show and book and getmortified.com)
YES!! Awesome tip! Thanks!
#3 is so fruedian. So perfectly revealing of the mixed-up, adolescent mind. Still a girl, longing for womanhood. But my favorite is #4. You wanted to be on a television show and have your life taped…for the kissing…but not on camera? More teenaged-mind brilliance.
I bought the Hummingbird Cookbook — it is a beauty, and the recipes are creative and amazing! I’ve made these cupcakes twice and both times they were a hit! I love the idea of using 7-minute frosting with them — I can’t wait to try them again.
Joy – you’re awesome. You’re timing is impeccable too….I’ve needed a red velvet cake recipe that I don’t hate…they always taste to chemical-y to me, but I’ve tried so many of your recipes and they are always KNOCK OUT recipes! I can’t wait to try this one and finally have a good red velvet cake in my repertoire! And your diary entry was AWESOME – love it :)
Holy crap that was funny!!!! I dont know if I am brave enough to go back and read my teenage diaries!!! Tooo funny!!!
That cake looks HEAVENLY!!! Red Velvet is my hubby’s fav so I will DEFINATELY be trying this one!!!
Oooh – Yummy red velvet cake. I have a favorite recipe, but I am always open to new experiences. Will have to try this one this weekend.
Joy, by chance I stumbled onto your blog and I’m absolutely shocked I’ve never found you before. I read through a few of your posts and I can confidently say you are now my all time favorite food blogger. Why? Because you write well and I actually enjoy reading your blog beyond just looking at your delicious photos. What a breath of fresh air. You are very lovable indeed.
Hey Joy, you have answered my unspoken prayer. I’ve had a request out for Red Velvet Cake for some time now. We tried Jerry’s Deli version and it wasn’t that impressive. The last time I’ve had a good one was long long long time ago and it was homemade and I cannot remember who the baker was.
While reading your sisters blog she mentioned you and included a link to your page. Wow, a breath of fresh air. I immediately fell in love with your photos. They’re so crisp I could almost smell the delites. The morning shots are so uplifting. That is my favorite time to work as well. I won’t bore you with all the things I adore about your page, but it has definitely been a joy to have found it.
I’m off to look for a way to contact you. God bless
P.S. He likes whipcream/icing mix and fresh strawberries or even a delicious rum cake. He’s from the carribean. = )
I will be trying these recipes when I can find enough people to share them with. My husband and I find ourselves in trouble every fall when I make my sweet potato pies. We’re talking putting our name on individual pies for ourselves. Ridiculous? Highly!
My birthday husband birthday is tomorrow and mine is Tuesday………………… Yes, I’m gonna do it. Is there anyway possible that I could get a cake for Saturday evening. I know “no she didn’t”. I did. The worst you could say is no.
Gorgeous, gorgeous cake. If this is your new favorite red velvet recipe, than it certainly can’t go undone in my kitchen.
And awkward teenage diaries? Love it. Joy, this is beyond hilarious. Applause from me to you, for posting an awkward teenage diary entry on a very, very public blog. I can’t even bring myself to show mine to my husband. Oh, the bad poetry. For the love.
Joy, I’ve never toasted coconut before – I love the stuff so I will try it. Does it just make it a bit crispier and more interesting? Does it get sweeter? Or does is just stop it getting soggy when you put it on the frosting?
Looks delicious!
I shredded my diaries from when I was seven (yes seven) to 17 because they were so cringe worthy last year, I don’t regret it. Seriously! I kept my “adult” ones though, so I can look back and realise how much fun I was having!
Ok, so I can’t believe I am actually admitting this, but I have seen every season on The Real World, it’s pitiful because I am 40! The kids never change, they just get more brazen with every season. I love to see the cities, the drama, I just can’t help myself.
There is a show in Denver called Girls Only and it is two women sharing their actual teenage diaries, skits, etc. It is in a tiny theatre and the women start out in their underwear, do a Kotex Krafty Korner… love it!
Also, love the red velvet!
Yes! My favorite part is the “duh” right after you mention how you’re athletic. haha I love it.
Oh, and this cake looks awesome.
Deeelicious cake, especially with all that toasted coconut. Funny teenage diary entries- the best! I used to watch the Real World too, but my all-time fave season has to be NY.
Oh. Yumminess.
hahaha, you are one quirky girl!
my early diaries read much the same… when i can stand reading them! don’t even get me started on the college diaries… ack
I just found your blog, and I feel I have to say something. I think I love you. Is it weird to say that? Maybe, a little too soon? I found you through a link to your peanut butter and bacon cookies. I don’t have the words. Yay! And then, I see a red velvet cake covered in coconut! I immediately added you to my favorites. I can’t wait to read more.
I made your favorite cupcakes into a cake (with your cinnamon cream cheese frosting, of course) for my boyfriend’s birthday and he (and his twin) loooooooved it!!
LOVE your journal entry! Funny how Real World led to all these reality shows huh?! Loved the moment when wats-his-name slapped the girl that was leaving early with a health problem…and all the peeps decided he could stay because he lost it that once…..good grief…lol. I can’t believe I remember this random bit of info but can’t remember phone numbers to save my life.
I just discovered your blog a day ago while I was in bed sick for the first day in 2 yrs. I’m so glad I found you! I’m a GREAT cook (honestly!) but baking is my sister’s thing…and she honestly rubs it in my face regularly! haha! So this year (starting Oct. since Texas is hot as hell) I’m taking baking by the horn! Hehe…I AM WOMAN (tho not black, sorry) HEAR ME ROAR! (or at least meow loudly and rub against your leg..) LOL!
joy, you are ever-so-brave to post old diary entries! i shudder to think about my circa-1996 declarations of pre-teen love and “my parents just don’t understand”! beautiful, beautiful cake, too!
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