Confession: I’m a baker because cookies make me friends. I’m a baker because cakes help me out of a jam from time to time. I’m a baker because brownies attract quality men.
Let’s talk about boys and baking. Boys like cookies and pies and coffee cake with lots of crumb topping. I know. I’ve done the research.
Here’s how to impress a boy with baking.
Note: If your particular boy doesn’t like baked goods… I’m afraid I don’t understand. He’s weird. I’d question his motives.
If you happen to be interested in girls… well… that’s a whole other blog post… one that possibly includes more chocolate and how to hide a giant engagement ring in her favorite cupcake.
Boys. Baking.
You know how boys… the good ones, at least… bring flowers to a first date? I think girls should bring brownies. Easy chocolate brownies with walnuts. Wrap them in wax paper and put them in a simple box. The next day when they’re trying to play it cool and not call you back? They’ll have a brownie and pick up the phone. Guarantee.
Good boys have good friends. Don’t forget them. How about a ‘nice to meet you, friend of the boy I like’ offering? Yes. Lemon Cloud Cookies. Do this.
What happens if you wake up with a boy in your bed?
Mom, I’ve never woken up with a boy in my bed. Never. Not even once. But if I had… well. Nevermind.
If you wake up with a boy in your bed you have several options. Pay close attention.
If you like the boy next to you, hop out of bed, make some coffee, whip up some pancake batter and leave it to rest on the counter. Hop back in bed, wake up cute boy then return to the kitchen to fry pancakes. The smell of coffee and cooking dough will eventually lure him out of bed. He’ll sit at the table. You’ll sit at the table. He’ll wonder how he got so dang lucky. You’ll wonder how you got so dang lucky. If he offers to help you do the dishes… marry him, immediately.
Now… if you do not like the boy in your bed… make. nothing. And never repeat those circumstances again. The whole pretending to be asleep until he finally leaves thing… awkward.
Good boys have good moms. Good moms have hawk eyes. They notice everything. This Apple Crisp will buy you a bit of leniency. Maybe you dropped the s-bomb at the dinner table. Oops. Maybe she got a peek of one of your tattoos and thinks you’re some sort of wild hippie.
This Apple Crisp should mend all that. It’s the crumble topping. It heals all things. Even if you are a wild, foul-mouthed hippie… you’re a wild foul-mouthed hippie who can cook. Moms like girls who can cook. Be a girl who can cook.
Boys like bacon.
Boys like pink things if they taste good.
Boys like when you pull out all the stops and doll yourself up for a date. Boys like when you pull out all the stops and make fancy cakes with expensive nuts.
But really… I think that boys like it best when you just throw on some tight jeans and a cute t-shirt. No makeup. I’m also pretty sure that boys are happiest with a simple meal that involves steak, barbecue sauce, and warm chocolate chip cookies.
Now… it’s not that we need to impress boys. Oh heck no. It’s just that sometimes… we want to, and that’s not a crime.
And that’s my two cents… put that in your brain hole to marinate.
{ 357 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
Love today’s post! Definitely made me LOL! Thank you for that!
I just have to chime in with everyone else that this post rocks. Seriously, one of my favorites. Would you be scared if I told you my husband isn’t a huge sweets fan? Yes, it’s true, and sometimes it scares me. But I did charm him with homemade soup and cornbread (from scratch) when we were a newly dating couple. :) Thanks for making me smile, Joy!
I bake and bring it to school…a lot! Always have to make sure the cute boys get a piece of it and if they ask, it was so easy to make :)
With love and cupcakes,
CookTeen
cookteen.blogspot.com
Your post just made my day…how cute was that!! It also hit quite close to home. When I met my husband I lived about an hour away. I was sooooooo head over heals for him and hated the drive. Well shortly after commuting back and forth and after staying over so many times I eventually moved in….my rent – 1 peanut butter pie every other week!!! Thats how I hooked him! We were out and he mentioned that he loved peanut butter pie…I said…I can make a good peanut butter pie, thats all she wrote! After 11 years married, I still make him his occasional peanut butter pie (can’t have it too often, not good for the waistline!)
Thanks for making me smile today! i love your blog.
i’ve had my boy snagged for nearly 11 years (which makes me sound way old, but, trust, i just started early) he surely loves his pancakes and pink things that are sweet!
this post absolutely made my day…thanks joy!
I am getting ready to bake for a boy tonight and this post made me LAUGH! We’re both athletes and will be eating straight after evening practice, so anticipating being really tired, I’m doing “breakfast for dinner”. Which involves cinnamon rolls. I’m expecting great sucess.
This is, without a single shred of doubt, my favorite Baking post ever.
This post is AMAZING. I just recently discovered your blog, and I adore your work! I feel like you are speaking directly to me with this one! My boy of six years loves all of the things you mentioned; from brownies to coffee cake with the crumble topping. In fact, I am pretty sure a quality crumble topping is what sealed the deal for him :)
Keep up the wonderful work! You absolutely have a new fan in me. I will be making your lemon cloud cookies this weekend..
xoxo
Joy, I was on the floor laughing my head out:D
Thanks for posting…KEEP posting:)
LOVE this post. You are hilarious!
Unfortunately I snagged an amazing guy who happens to not have a sweet tooth. I’m a baker and it KILLS me. I make a batch of cookies, he eats one, I eat twenty. He is supportive and encouraging, but doesn’t help out much when it comes to the eating of the goods. I try not to let it bother me.
I won my man over with steak. Thank god I also know how to grill a good steak.
Oh how I love this post! There is a boy that I love to bake for and when he compliments my baking it gives me butterflies…
You are adorable.
Funny. very. funny.
Me and mine have been married seems like forever and we are celebrating our anniversary tonite – a nice dinner out for a no-stress start but want to whip up something lucious for dessert, maybe your steamy looking brownies hot out of the oven in all their fudgey goodness!…mine loves hot brownies too, nothin short of heaven! thx for your inspiration-always! ;)
Being “boy-less,” I’m hoping with a good amount of luck, I’ll lure him with baked goods. Thankyou! Just what I needed.
That is no joke. Now its what do you do with him when he’s fat and a little unhappy because he likes your food?
Just wanted to say hello, I read your site all the time and have used your recipes too! Have a good Easter!
Joy-I love this post! I’m enrolled in the class at Ramekins on Saturday and cannot wait!!
awesome! can’t wait to see you!
Wowww all of these baked good looks so amazingly good, funny post too hehe :)
Baking rocks, this post rocks, and you Joy, of course you Rock! Love it! Have a great weekend!
It’s confirmed. You’re my hero. Amazing post.
what a cute post! now to find me a quality guy! :)
Totally love this post. Makes me all happy and hopeful. When I get myself a boy (because I’m due one, he should be around the corner somewhere), I will totally do this. =D
I already bake for the boys at uni. Baking is wonderful, and makes people smile and share. I like that.
Your blog = me smiling all day. And also baking, thus bringing smiles to others. Thankyou!
Wonderful :) I wish I had a boy I wanted to impress and I would try all of these. Ooooor maybe I’ll just eat them myself instead.
Hi Joy….
I loved the post…..you are soooo good with words….
I agree with everyone else, this post was so great!!! I’m making the brownies right NOW just because it’s Friday. And I’m thinking they’d make my husband smile ;)
TOTALLY agree with you here on this one…I don’t trust people who dont like sweets.
I hooked the man with meyer lemon tart, his sister with irish carbomb cupcakes, and his momma…well…mom’s are hard. Maybe I’ll try the apple crisp. Taking coconut cupcakes to easter tomorrow, they’re INSANE good, so maybe that’ll put her over the edge :)
And I’m utterly convinced all my friends are only friends because my birthday present to everyone is always “any cake you want me to make”. Its ok. I like to show people I love them by fattening them up :)
I made a yogurt/jello no bake key lime pie in a store bought graham cracker crust, and my guy went nuts. Now I’m back to REAL baking and he thinks I’m a Goddess!!! (Mostly thanks to you!!) Great post, every word of it true!!! BTW… he LOVES your holiday cake!!!
The part about baking something with expensive nuts made me about laugh aloud. Yep!~
PS: We have the exact same pig glass. And I sheep one, too. Love It!
I made that very pink cake for my husband’s birthday this year. He claimed to be trying to eat healthy, but he had that cake polished off in a couple days ;) Who said you can’t have strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting for breakfast? Yup- that’s true love ;)
What about boys who bake?
Loved this post. Too bad I never got to impress any boy and I guess it applies to impressing husband and in-laws. (Mine is an arranged marriage) You are so funny.
You are obviously wise beyond your years.
I started baking because my mom insisted that I learn to cook and bake, and baking seemed a whole lot more rewarding. Taught myself to make chocolate frosted eclairs when I was 12. Definitely agree with you that knowing how to bake yummy food wins friends and influences people–especially boys. I’ve been baking for my favorite guy for like 30 years now, and I think the baked goods have made up for a lot of PMS-type shenanigans and crabbiness over the years.
Mmm…love the fork candles! Looks like an awesomely fresh twist on the bday cake.
This is hands down my favorite post ever!!! I love to bake for my man, and it has never done me wrong! I love all the sweet ideas! Thanks!
Oh my goodness gracious.
I thought I was the only one!
For the past few years, everything I’ve tried to cook has been garbage-worthy.
And then I met this boy.. who just so happens to be an enthusiastic cook. So I’ve worked my butt off baking and cooking and learning and practicing. And cross your fingers that it pays off!
I loved this post.
My dear husband said:
YEAAH, she is RIGHT! ;)
(the first time i tried to impress him by baking was a desaster. NEVER mix dark orange-chocolate with fresh raspberries in a cake. but he was still in love with me. Glad for that! ;))
Bringing brownies on a 1st date = genius. You are a rock star, Joy.
EL-OH-EL! You crack me up, lady. And unfortunately, The Hubs is one of those weird guys who doesn’t love sweets and baked goods. Oh he will eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies in one sitting IF AND ONLY IF they are made to his standards, which can be quite a difficult task. But I do it…because I love him…and he loves the perfect cookies…and me. He most definitely loves me.
There is some kind of unreal satisfaction when your man makes that little MMMMmmmm sound while he’s eating something that you made. Best reason to cook ever!!
Oh Joy, this is just lovely!
Ms. Joy… this is why I love your blog. I feel like I am having a conversation with a best girlfriend. I adore you! This is so cute I will be sharing with all my single girlfriends! By the way, My husband got me by making fabulous homemade crepes and coffee in the morning.. I knew that morning he was the one.. and he still is!
I love your recipe round-ups and this theme is AWESOME! I’m definitely guilty at times of trying to win hearts and minds via the stomach.
Joy – This is one of my favorite posts! Had me laughing out loud. Thanks for all the great tips. . I think I will start following them from now on – they might help this single girl out!
Love the post! My boy actually impressed me on out first date by cooking me yummy veggie curry. Though he did accidentally add enough hot peppers to make my eyes pour. He didn’t used to be a fan of sweets, but after 3 years together he is quite overjoyed when he finds something warm, sweet, and delicious in the kitchen!
Boys do love food!!! My “Chaparrito” have eaten really good food, but I have to admit sometimes he tried some of my experiments and told me they were perfect even though they weren’t good at all.. That’s they kind of boys you have to have on your side!! :) Loved your blog!! .. so cute!
This is why I read your blog – it’s funny and charming and everything I need to cheer me up :D
So glad that I stumbled across your blog through bakerella a few months ago. I love reading your blog and the recipes you share. This post is hands down my favorite post that you have written on here! I love it!!! I never even thought about the whole baking their friends cookies. Good tip. I’m going to have to try making those lemon cloud cookies. :)
My favorite post of yours ever! Such truths!!
Great post! And so true!
This is so true! A hot pan of brownies gets my husband anytime. He also loved this new recipe.
Oh my God, how right you are! I love this post, it’s not only too true, it’s also hilariously funny and your warmth and generally wonderful personality shine through your writing (as always) and make it a really, really uplifting read.
I’ve been known to scare off men by being too brutally honest (or just really good at putting my foot in my mouth) and too independent. My granny also thinks, I’m just too intelligent, but that simply can’t be true (see above comment regarding ineptitude to be cute)…
…then I learned to bake…
Nowadays, not only do my guy-friends start to drool like Pawlow’s dog whenever I mention baking, I’ve also upped my count of marriage-proposals from strangers in the street who saw me carrying cakes to about six. There are few things more fun than seeing men go all googly-eyed when seeing baked goods…
i’m glad it’s all working out for you!
← Previous Comments
{ 14 trackbacks }