Why do I do this? Why do I subject you to such things?
In kindergarten… way back in the mid eighties… I was a child bride for Halloween.
Actually… I was a child… and I dressed up as a bride. That makes things less creepy.
I don’t know whose idea this whole bride thing was, certainly not mine. I was probably just stoked about wearing lipstick and a head band.
Want more? Surely you must.
Little Bo Peep with her favorite stuffed animal and her princess sister.
Child bride with clown sister and toothpaste sister.
Toothpaste. It only makes sense that the tallest child be the toothpaste.
This is my Uncle Dan. He’s dressed up as a hunk.
That’s my veiled head in the right corner. I want candy.
I had a Cleopatra phase. I’m mostly stoked that I could get the pose right.
I blame my mother for the aggressive eyeshadow.
This is bad.
Smack dab in the middle of my frizzy haired hat phase I decided to be a playing card for Halloween. A playing card with a playing card hat. I’m sure I busted out the craft box and the glue gun to bring that little gem to life. Lord help me.
I’m not sure if the card is better or worse than being a teenage Juggalette.
I’m glad these were the only photos I could find. I distinctly remember an awkward Raggedy Anne phase as well.
Ps. If you know me in real life… this set of pictures IS NOT open for discussion or ridicule. Zip it.