Joy the Baker

On Turning TwentyOne

May 6, 2011

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If you’re turning twenty one (21!!) today… May 7, 2011, I’d like to humbly offer you some advice, as your elder of 9 whopping years.

I know you’re not asking for advice.  I know I’m not an expert at life…  I just have a few gems I want you to take with you.

One:  Raw honey and baking soda make a really lovely face scrub.  True.  Try it!

Two:  Eat something green everyday.

Three:  Chill out on the Facebook.  Seriously.  It’s not real life.

Four:  Learn how to sew something.  Anything.  At least learn how to sew your buttons back on your shirts.

Five:  If your button up shirt is bulging at the boobs… wear another shirt.  OR, just unbutton that button.  We’re talking exposed bra.   You’ll need to wear a necklace or two if you’re going to go this route.  You’re also going to need to walk tall and own it…. and stay away from public transportation.

Six:  Make lists on Post-It notes and knock em out, cross em off, get things done.

Seven:  Look people in the eye and listen when they speak.  It’s a nice touch.  It’s the opposite of Facebook.

Eight:  Is your resting face… the expression that you have when you’re just hanging out watching Real Housewives of Orange County… is that face bitchy?  Change that.  Try not to look bitchy when you’re just hanging out.

Nine:  Don’t drink too much rum… ever.

Ten:  Don’t be one of those girls that carries one of those long, giant cocktail cups around the streets of Las Vegas.  It really gives the wrong impression.  You’ll also have to pee a lot.

Eleven:  If a guy is a jerk, he’s dead to you.  You don’t need that bologna.  Eat an ice cream cone and move the heck on.

Twelve:  Don’t do stupid things that relate to booze, boys, nudity, and consequences.  Keep it together.  Drink more water than booze.  Sloppy is never cute.

Thirteen:  What’s important?  Make a list.  Honor it.

Fourteen:  Pull your hair back and wear pretty earrings.  Own it.

Fifteen:  Make things for people.

Sixteen:  Don’t be afraid of being overdressed.  Dresses are pretty and heels are awesome.  But!  If the heels make you walk like a robot… go with flats.  Know thyself.

Seventeen:  Boxes of cold cereal and a carton of milk make a strange and kinda funny hostess gift.  Coco Puffs and 2 percent.  Try it.

Eighteen:  Buy your friends random gifts… it’s just a nice thing to do.

Nineteen:  Don’t be afraid of looking dumb, asking a stupid question, falling on your face, getting rejected, ripping off your shirt on a crowded street, or being otherwise embarrassed.  We’ll be dead soon.

Twenty:  Put it on the Lord.  Good.  Bad.  Pretty.  Messy.  Put it all on the Lord.  Now… I know I don’t know you like that but… I’m just sayin’.

TwentyOne:  Work hard at the thing that you love.  Like… really hard.  Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s dumb.  If they do tell you it’s dumb… work harder and prove them wrong.  But don’t rub it in their face- just be gracious, and wear expensive lipstick, and smile, and keep working.

 


498 Comments Add A Comment

  • This is such a great post. You should turn it into a book for young women! Witty with good advise.
    You forgot one more…boys give love to get sex and girls give sex to get love…until it’s the real thing! So be careful!

  • This blog post just made me love you so much more, and I didn’t realize that was possible. You are awesome.

  • I am so guilty of the bitchface and I’m 24. I seriously am the nicest person ever, but somehow, my relaxed face is nothing short of complete bitchface. Sometimes I realize this and try to contort it, but then people ask what’s wrong with me cause it turns into some kind of half smile have pursed lips and my eyebrows are like, in my hairline. sigh.

    It’s a mess.

  • You are a wonderful Joy. So glad to have stumbled onto your little gem and adore these words of wisdom.

  • Right on! This reminds me of the mix-tape my hippy-ish auntie made me when I turned 18. It had David Bowie and Carly Simon on it and that sucker’s still changing my life. I’m now a deliciously seasoned 37 with a man and a fam, strolling through life and taking it easy, because, you’re right — we’ll all be dead soon!

    PS – You are absolutely the best blogstress (??) on the planet, no joshin’ and no pressure. ;)

  • happy birthday to you!

  • Where were you when I turned 21? My own mother was not this wise (or else she was keeping it to herself)…….

  • You had me at sweet tea bourbon cocktails yesterday, but this is just awesome. I’m blogging about hitting the big quarter-century mark right now, and these are all lessons I’ve learned (or tried to) over the last few years. Great advice.

  • A fun read to start my morning!…….Loved the hostess gift suggestion—-funny! My hairdresser always brings a big bottle of shampoo as a hostess gift. :)

  • Wow, thanks Joy! I’m only 17, but a lot of this advice applies to any age. As always, you put a smile on my face this morning :)

  • Wonderful post Joy! As someone well past 21, I wish someone had passed such special, funny and perfect advice along to me when I was that young.You are a special woman Joy and I for one sincerely appreciate that you share a piece of yourself here on this blog.

  • Good advice, thanks! :)

  • :D…
    splendid!!

    Beautiful words to learn from!! and yes, Being 22, i cant help but learn from it all too! :)

    Happy birthday Brittany!

  • This might be my favorite post ever. You are seriously the coolest person, Joy…what a 21st birthday gift! And Happy Birthday to Brittany. My little sister is turning 21 in a few weeks…and I am sending her your post. :)

  • I turn 21 on Tuesday, May 10th! All of this was very lovely advice. Thank you, Joy! :)

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