Joy the Baker

Everything Ever: a list

March 1, 2013

Biscuits_005096

Just so you know… we’re allowed to doodle around here.  Doodle with our hands, and doodle with our minds (whoa, that’s deep).  It’s safe.  Just be you (even if you just want to doodle hearts and flowers).

What follows is a list of things that happen in my mind.  Maybe you have a little of the crazybrain too?

ONE:  I’ve been thinking a lot about the barometers of adulthood lately.  I think of marriage and children as easy adult gauges… and since I’m nowhere near either of those, I can still act a childish fool, right?!  Not quite.  I once thought that managing my own taxes was a clear sign of my adult-self living my adult life.  Living alone?!  Surely I’m grown!  Eating Cheetos for dinner… pffft, it’s like I rule the entire adult kingdom!!!

In fact, none of these are accurate barometers of adulthood.  I know, because I found the real measure:  It’s not taxes.  It’s not living alone… It’s cleaning my walls.  Actually scrubbing WALLS in my house.  I did this…. for hours.  I am now, most officially, living an adult life.  I also now  understand why we eat Cheetos for dinner.  Necessary comfort.

Buttermilk Beignets

TWO:  I wish there were one word to describe the following happenings:

- the act of adding water to you totally-already-empty bottle of dish soap, in order to extend its (already gone) life.  I have definitely never done this… but I know people who have (pffft).

-the act of using your roommate’s expensive shampoo then replacing the bottle exactly the way it was on the shower rack, as if they remember exactly how they place their shampoo.    Ps.  You smell like your roommates shampoo… you’re not actually fooling anyone (namely, your roommate).

- the act of freaking out that your yeasted dough is too wet, too dry, not risen, over risen, and otherwise totally shot-to-hell (as was my constant fear with these Buttermilk Beignets).

honey mustard broccoli salad

THREE:  I can’t wait to see all the random food that food bloggers turn green for the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day holiday.

Some food is naturally green.  I’ll leave it at that…

reach

FOUR:  I’m the kind of person who will always stop for a seemingly lost dog.  It’s an impulse.  Sometimes calling for the dog doesn’t work, especially if the dog isn’t socialized or is super scared about being out in the world alone.  Sometimes the dog does come when you call him.  There’s a very real freakout that happens when you call a seemingly lost German Shepard and they actually.come.running.at.you.at.full.speed.  Those five seconds that you watch a giant German Shepard running at you are very long seconds indeed.  Long… Maybe-I’m-about-to-be-mauled-right-now seconds.  Sidenote:  he was a nice German Shepard, he wasn’t lost, just wandering.  Super Sidenote: Praise God.

Cats aren’t as maul-y (in theory).

Hyphens are totally in style.

brittle and jam blonde brownies

FIVE: I saw a bad car accident happen right before my eyes this week.  It was totally unnerving and I think everyone is ok.  It was a very good reminder of all the ways that we collide into one another on a life-basis.  We collide.  I want to say it’s inevitable, but I’m not certain that’s true.

SIX:  I don’t think people know what they’re saying when they encourage me to ‘dance like nobody is watching’.  Seriously… do you know what that would look like?  It would look like me trying to booty clap in front of a mirror.  Oh gosh.  It would only be entertaining because I’m so so so far from actually being able to do it.  It’s harder than Calculus.  I just…

What’s it called when you talk about booty clapping on your food blog?  What’s it called…?  It’s on the tip of my tongue.

…. OVERSHARE!  That’s it.  Exactly.

img043

SEVEN:  Do we need to talk about how meteors are hitting the earth?  I know it’s been a few weeks since space rocks fell on Russia… but WHOA!

Do we need to talk about all the giant rocks that are out in space not hitting the earth and how that is a dang miracle?  Or should we just keep talk about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

When in doubt (aka… when rocks hit the Earth) listen to your father.

Biscuits_005095

EIGHT:  Shine bright.  It makes a difference in the world.

I love you (not weird, just true).

xo joy


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