One a scale of 1 to romantic… where do you fall?

I fall at the medium-low level… let’s call if a 4.6.  Go easy on the candle light, long stem roses, and limo rides (unless there’s a hot tub in back).  I don’t need jewelry, but diamonds are always nice (it’s a paradox, I dunno…).  Carriage rides?  Meh.  Horse rides?  Cooler.  Horse ride followed by margaritas?  Now you’re on to something.

I’m not the heart locket and stuffed animal type.  I’m more the Le Creuset and expensive chocolate type.

I also think large pots of warm rice and chicken are an 8.7 on the romantic scale.

This is a really lovely, one-pot dish, that starts with wine and saffron.

Many good things come from wine and saffron.

Olives, rice, and chicken.  That’s all we’re getting ourselves into.

In a pot together, magic romantic things happen.

Bubble and simmer.  Bubble and simmer.

Everything in the pot, and the rice soaks it all up.

There’s no way to dry the chicken, or otherwise futz up this dish.  If the rice gets burned and crunchy on the bottom… that’s totally the best part.

There are a few tricks… if you’re using a large pot, make sure that you move it around on the burner so that the simmer hits every part of the pan.  Fifteen minutes in the center of the pot.  Ten minutes on one side of the pot.  Ten minutes on the other side of the pot.  Sometimes pockets of rice can remain uncooked if the pan is too large.  Also.. don’t be afraid to add a touch more broth if your rice isn’t cooking up.  No worries.  Keep it easy.

 This Arroz con Pollo is a super classic, ultra-comforting dish.  Listen… if you’d like to claim that your mother makes a better Arroz con Pollo that I do… guess what?  You’re probably right.  This dish is good… really really good.  I just don’t want to do battle with your mother… that’s all I’m saying.

I’d love for you to make this dish for a special someone on, or near Valentine’s Day.  It’s comfort food that should be shared with love.  After dinner you can both stand around the pot with spoons and scrape the bottom of the pot for crunchy rice bits while you finish the bottle of wine.  That’s romance.  That’s friendship.  That’s just love.

I like coconut quite a lot.

I love coconut.  It’s important to me.

It’s so important that this is the perfect time and place to expound my love in link form.

Real Talk:  I spent the morning in the kitchen with a new coconut recipe that bonkers FAILED.  I’ll get coconut, hazelnut, and chocolate together somehow.  It’s in the future.

Coconut Almond Chocolate Biscuits. ((coconut flakes!))  With cherry jam?  Much success.

Coconut goes major healthy in this Carrot Ginger Coconut Soup  ((coconut milk!)).

Also… I’m one of those people that drizzles olive oil on everything savory.  It’s pretty.

Coconut flour is a gluten-free dream!  These cupcakes are made with coconut flour and fresh strawberries. Topped with cream cheese frosting.  Quit it!

Gluten-free Strawberry Coconut Cupcakes (coconut flour!)).

These hearty gluten-free waffles are topped with big toasted coconut flakes and soft, sweet whipped cream!

Gluten-free Coconut Waffles ((coconut oil, coconut flour, coconut flakes!)).  They don’t taste weird gluten-free.  They do taste all-the-way awesome.

Crazy thing about the coconut in the Crunchy Kale and Coconut Bowl ((coconut flakes!))… dudes will think it tastes like bacon.  I’m serious.  It’s a transformer.  This meal is a drug… a healthy, kale drug.

Coconut and cookies for breakfast!  It’s totally possible.  There’s also millet and carrots.  Get on this cookie bandwagon!

Vegan Carrot Cherry Breakfast Cookies ((coconut oil!)).

For lunch… let’s be real… it’s not always fancy salad and irresistible pretzel dogs.

Usually, at the lunch hour, I open the fridge and pile whatever I’ve got onto a few pieces of bread.  There’s usually salt and olive oil involved. I believe that those are ingredients that belong on damn near everything.

Remember when I made this simple lunch?

Yea… more things on bread with salt and olive oil.

Dinner and dessert are a different story.  Something warm and tender is awesome for dinner.  Chocolate is dessert… even if it has black beans in it.

Please just consider this your reminder to keep it simple and flavorful.

Lunch shouldn’t be a stresser.  Lunch, however, should have balsamic reduction on it… whenever possible.

Goat Cheese and Edamame Lunch Toasts

Slice a baguette into bite-sized slices.  Top generously with soft goat cheese, steamed edamame, olive oil, coarse salt and coarse pepper, and a few drippings of balsamic reduction.

It’s lunch and lunch is good.

I think I’d like to write a book about how to make friends, entitled How to Make Friends, the almost fairytale.

Chapter One

Once upon a time there was a lonely girl who had but one friend… her snaggle-toothed mother.  One day, in the kitchen, she stumbled upon a rare and delicious combination.  A combination never before discovered in the land of Lonleyia.  Warm, soft, salty dough met with… hot dogs.

It was as though rainbows, unicorns, and friendly hobbits had descended upon this special girl.  People came from far and wide to sample her new found delicacy and friendships blossomed abound.  It was like Springtime.  Springtime of friendships.

Even the girl’s snaggle-toothed mother made a friend or two.

Never again was the lonely girl lonely (or hungry)…

The end.

Yea… my next book only has one chapter, one recipe, and about 34 words.  No biggie.

So!  You have two options here.  You can re-read this story  and go take a nap OR (and I totally suggest this next option) you could make these pretzel dogs this weekend, serve them with spicy mustard and cold beer, and make (or solidify) friendships of your own.

Choose your own adventure.  No bigs.

Essentially, we’re wrapping soft dough around hot dogs.  It’s nothing more complicated than that.

If that doesn’t sound like the best thing to happen all week, I invite you to come back in two days from now.

Ps.  I love you.

Don’t be fooled by the twisty and golden brown nature of pretzels… they’re actually really simple to make.

It all starts with yeast, warm water, and flour.

At first the dough is shaggy shaggy.

With a little work of the dough hook, it will come together!

This is the luscious dough before rising.

It should feel light and soft.  This will be a tender dough.  It will be slightly sticky, but not sticky enough to actually stick to your hands.

It’s like a little dough pillow.

If your first instinct is to rest your head on the dough… you’re on the right track.

This is real life.

It’s juuust dough.  Back off, kitten!

Beautifully risen dough.

It’s like magic in a bowl.

My trick?

I leave dough to rise in an OFF gas oven, or on the back burner of my stovetop with the oven left on at 200 degrees F.

Cut the soft dough into 16 pieces (for 1/2 hot dogs) or 8 pieces (for big ol’ whole hot dogs).

So light and tender.

But don’t eat it yet!

Rolling the dough into ropes.

Channel your Play-Doh days.

Ropes get rolled 12-inches long for half dogs, and 24-inches for whole dogs.  It’s science… or not at all.

If this seems like SO MUCH FUN to you… I consider us friends.

Just make sure that the ends are sealed and pressed together.

The next step is boiling!

If the dogs aren’t sealed up tight they might unravel a bit… which is totally not the end of the world, ps.

Pretzels are boiled in a baking soda and water solution.

The baking soda changes the alkalinity of the outside of the pretzel.  Baking soda is what gives pretzels their distinctive chewy crunch and golden color.

Baking soda is what separates these pretzel dogs from bagel dogs… and these are most certainly NOT bagel dogs.

Although… if you’re interested in bagel pizza… I was too.

Serve these pretzel dogs to many.  You’ll need to share.  Don’t be like me and eat too many.  While you’re in the kitchen making awesome, you might also consider these Fried Pickles!

These pretzel dogs are so warn, tender, and utterly delicious.  I promise that these darlings will find you friends, lovers, and stalkers of the feline variety.

ps.  Leave Me Alone, Kitten!

I’m 87% sure there’s nothing you can do to ruin these perfect creations.

Winter citrus is sparkling!

If I could wear these citrus segments as earrings… I would.

Let’s roast these beauties!

I know.  Weird.

Weird… but totally incredible.  Warm and salty sweet citrus bites.

Winter citrus feels like such a paradox to me.  Cool winds and brisk mornings somehow combine with the juciest, brightest fruit.

They match but they mismatch… just like red and hot pink.  Matchy not matchy.

Alright… so what are you going to do with all of this warm, roasted citrus?

I love to serve wedges warm with a waffle or eggs benedict brunch.

They’re also really lovely as a side dish with roasted meat.

You might also consider Winter Citrus Pancakes.  Crash! (bang! boom!)

January 29th 2012 UPDATE:

Thank you to everyone who signed up for this round of subscription gifting.  I’m so excited to get gifts in your hands!  Subscriptions are now closed and will open again at the end of April 2012!

Gifts just get better and better!  Be a part of the fun come April!

- joy the baker

ENJOY! is a subscription gift program.  It’s a mystery gift delivered right to your door. Like a wine of the month club… only better!

Every three months I pair up with a different cool, quirky company and hand-select a unique little gift package for you.  It could be a cool kitchen item.  It could be something for you to carry in your purse.  It could be a little something for your vanity.   Whatever it is, it’s a new and exciting thing that arrives in your mailbox every three months.  …We’re not talking freebies or samples… we’re talking full-on awesome gifts!

It’s easy!  Every three months, you get a gift!

What was the last ENJOY! gift?

For the last round of gifting I worked with a Los Angeles company called Poketo.

Poketo creates “art for the everyday”.  They work with artists and turn their work into awesome everyday things like wallets, stationary, calendars, plates, and these awesome clay chain necklaces that I’m obsessed with.  With Poketo we gifted cool wallets and arty calendars.  Surprise gift success!

Read on… sign up! (I’m bossy.)

What is the next Enjoy! gift?

Don’t be silly!  That’s a surprise!  I can’t tell you!

But… let me give you a hint… because I’m totally SO bad at keeping secrets.

The next Enjoy! gift is a few treats that you’ll get down with in the kitchen.  I love them and I hope you do too!

What if I don’t like my Enjoy! gift?

I try hard to select fun, useful gift that I think everyone can enjoy.  I choose things that I love, and I want you to love them as well.  I won’t ever send you peanuts or booze… not everyone is into that sort of thing.  Beyond that, it’s a surprise gift!  A surprise treat to yourself!  If you don’t like your subscription gift, please feel free to regift the heck out of it.  We’re unable to accommodate returns or refunds.  It’s a surprise!  If you don’t like surprises… and not everyone does… Enjoy! may not be the program for you.

Ps.  I really do think you’ll like it though…

When will I receive my next Enjoy! gifts?

Great question!  International and domestic Enjoy! gifts will be shipped  the last week of February.  Domestic gifts will arrive within one week after shipment.  International gifts will arrive within two weeks to a month after shipment.

Already a Subscriber?

If you’re already a subscriber, you don’t have to do a thing!  You’re all set!  An automatic payment will post to your account and you’ll receive your gift in early March.

If you need to amend your subscription status, or change your mailing address, please login to Paypal to make any adjustments.

Want to be a Subscriber?

Update:  Subscriptions open again in late April 2012.  

I’m bonkers excited about the next round of gifting!  Enjoy! has been a super unique way to put the things that I love in your hands.

ENJOY! subscription slots filled up so fast last round! We’ve buffed up the program and we’re ready for more!

If you’d like to sign up for Enjoy!, now is your time!

ENJOY! subscriptions are $25 domestic and $30 international.  Price includes gift and shipping, and are charged every three months for as long as you’re a subscriber.  Each gift is worth more than the cost of subscription… so it’s a deal and a treat all in one.  I love it and I want you to love it too.  Think of it as that little treat that helps keep you sane.

Hey Dude (that I’m currently dating),

We need to talk.  It’s about your mother.

Mostly… it’s about how I need to meet your mother.  We’ve been carrying on for a while now… and I need to meet the lady that birthed you, clothed you, slapped you upside the head, and made you the awesome man you are now.  If I don’t meet her soon, she will surely think me some sort of hussy harlot who was born in a barn and doesn’t much care for other people’s mothers.  This is not the case.  I care about most mothers, often.

It’s a lady thing that perhaps you don’t understand.  I need to be nervous.  I need to bite off all my nails.  I need to agonize over the perfect outfit that will make me look sophisticated, but sweet and approachable, womanly without being more womanly that her.  I need the outfit that says I can damn well take care of myself, and keep her dear and darling son in line for the rest of his life.  It’s a fine fine fiiiine line.

I need to let your mother look me up and down in examination.  I need to stand there and let her envision me as her daughter-in-law.  I need to eat her casserole, express my desire for the recipe… then I need to do her dishes.

I need to let her tell me how to do things that I already know how to do, like make a pie, and pluck my eyebrows.  We need to watch 60 Minutes together.  She in her recliner, me sitting on the floor.  I need to offer to bring dessert.  She’ll make a face when it’s being served, and enjoy it despite herself.  It’s all a dance.  Every moment of it.  It’s all a test… because mothers do not let their sons go quietly… they let them go passive aggressively.

Lastly, she needs to see that I make you happy.  That’s where you come in.  Don’t act weird.  Well, don’t act weirder than you usually act.  Be natural… and put your arm around me once in a while.  It’s your job to make sure that no one gets a third glass of wine.  That’s when things get weird.

It’s also your job NOT to tell your mother that there are beets in the cake I’m serving for dessert.  That will be our little secret.  Unless she loves it… then I’m taking all the glory.

Cool.

Love,

Joy

Quite right.  This chocolate cake is chocked full of roasted beets.

Beets are trimmed of their greens (which are delicious sauteed) and roasted whole in foil and just a touch of oil.  You know… like you’re making a beet salad, but you’re totally making cake.

Besides beets, this cake also has the usual cake- y suspects:  flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, powder, and salt.

I love preparing cake pans for baking.  Something about the ritual just calms me.

Parchment paper rounds (that are cut by hand) totally ensure that the cake will come out of the pan in one piece.  It’s an extra bit of work, but I love the insurance.

Roasted beets are cooled and peeled (which is easy… not to worry), and grated on the fine side of a box grater.

If you’re wondering about beet stained hands… yes, I had two.  They eventually wash clean.

Beets add moisture and sweetness to the cake.  Beets do not make the cake taste like a salad.  That’s an important thing to know.

The cake batter will be a purple color, but will bake into a moist chocolate cake with no trace of beets.

Let’s talk about frosting.  Butter and cream cheese are left at room temperature until soft.  They’re beaten with powdered sugar, vanilla, and a squeeze of lemon.

Beets, too!  Beets, shredded and mashed add a slight sweetness and intense color to the frosting.  It’s all you need for food coloring.  It’s delightful and delicious.  And again… it does not taste like salad.

You may have a few beet strands in your frosting as you decorate the cake.  Think of it as nature’s sprinkles.

… I can’t believe I just typed that.

I’m sorry.

I want you to fall in love with this cake.  I did.

The cake itself is moist and chocolate-y.  It’s not too sweet either!  Bonus.  The frosting is bright pink, speckled with beet bits, and creamy sweet.

No one would ever know this cake is chocked full of vegetables.  We can just keep that little bit of information between us.  Secret ingredient power!

Pssst… Valentine’s Day Cake!  I’m just sayin…

You can and you should.  Work hard.  Don’t stop.  Unless there’s wine.  Drink it.  Then work harder.

If people don’t get it.  Lose em.  Find people that do.  They exist.  Make them your friends.  Go thrift shopping.  Buy skirts.  Talk about ice cream.

Make the world more beautiful.  That’s our job while we’re here.  And we’re still here.  So love well, and hard, and like we won’t be here forever.  Because we won’t.

Use your good luck spoon.  Throw away your bad luck fork.  Remember that texting and driving is dumb.  And your car horn never really adequately expresses your anger, so don’t use it and just scream in the car a bit if you must.

Buy kale.  Especially if it’s named dino.  It’s ok if it has dirt on it.  It came from the ground.  Wash it well.  Combine it with coconut.  Roast.  Feed it to a person you love.  See what happens.  You’ll have just made the world more beautiful.  Is it really that easy?  Sometimes it is.  Mind blown.

You might never guess that such a simple combination of ingredients could be so wonderfully lovely.

You also might never guess that I’ve eaten this dish every day for a week straight.  That is no exaggeration.  It’s so good.  So comforting.  Soooo the new mac and cheese.

Kale and unsweetened coconut is tossed with soy sauce, sesame oil, sriracha, and olive oil.  It’s baked until golden and crisp.

It’s chewy.  It’s crunchy.  It’s a total mouth workout… and so so good for your body.

Farro is a big hearty grain and it stands up wonderfully to robust kale and coconut.  Brown rice would also be quite nice.

This recipe is from Heidi’s Super-Natural Every Day cookbook and inspired by Tracy.

Tracy told me that this dish was serious man food/comfort food.  I refused to believe her.  I finally made it for myself, fed it to a man… and that was it.  Game over.  I’m now engaged, pregnant with twins (a boy and a girl), I just won the lottery, someone just bought me a pony, and I have every single pair of shoe that I’ve ever wanted.

Except none of that happened…. but this meal was simply exceptional.

Not everything requires a bowl, a mixer, whisk, and measuring spoons.

Sometimes the most delicious comforts come out of milk, spice, and heat.

I’ve been keeping it pretty simple in the kitchen lately.  You know… trying to treat my body right, and such.  I’m also trying to stay far far away from the Winter cold that’s ruining the world as of late (that was totally dramatic).

Here’s the plan:

Heat about 2 cups of almond milk in a small saucepan.  If it’s unsweetened almond milk… you might want to add a touch of honey.  If it’s already sweetened… no need.

Add about 1/8 teaspoon of ground cardamom and a good sprinkling of fresh ground nutmeg to the heating milk.  Also add the scrapings of half a vanilla bean… heck, throw the pod in too.  If you don’t have vanilla beans on hand, no worries (!) just throw in a dash of pure vanilla extract.  If you want to add a bit of bourbon… I won’t tell a soul.

Heat until steaming hot.

Serve hot with cookies from your favorite bakery.  Enjoy while reading a cookbook studded with Polaroids of your friends as bookmarks.  (Suggestions… no biggie.)

This is not a cheeseburger.

This is not bacon.  These are not peanut butter and chocolate cupcakes.

These are not doughnuts nor french fries.

Oooh how I wish these were all of those things.

Instead… this is health.  It’s health that tastes good and makes our bodies feel like they can leap like superheros, with x-ray vision, and super strength.

It’s ok that this smoothie doesn’t taste like chocolate… mostly ok.

I really love going out to eat.  Sure… that’s an easy thing to say.  But I LOVE it!

When you go out to eat there’s French fries!  Blue cheese in your salad!  And bacon that you didn’t have to cook yourself!  It’s absolute magic.  Until the bill comes… that’s just real life.

When I’m home… not at a restaurant… not eating French fries and bacon… I drink a lot of smoothies.

Kale Spinach and Pear Smoothie. Peanut Butter Banana and Oat Milkshake. Super Citrus Smoothie.

Smoothies satisfy my desire to throw things in a blender and trick myself into thinking I’m drinking a milkshake.

Good heavens.  I have a problem.

I realize that this might seem like an odd combination of ingredients for a smoothie.  It is.  It’s the cucumber.  Weird, right!?

Believe it or not, cucumber thickens the smoothie!  It also adds lots of hydration and potassium.  It’s a total secret weapon.

This smoothie has just a hint of sweetness… and it doesn’t take like a big bunch of vegetables.  Strawberry sweet with creamy almond milk, and mellow mellow cucumbers.

Cucumbers add an interesting texture to the smoothie.  It’s slightly more slippery.  Like we added a touch of gelatine to the smoothie.  But!  It’s all natural and just the way that cucumbers work.

English cucumbers (hot house, that is) are the best for this smoothie.  The skin is thin and can be blended smooth.  Cucumbers with thicker skins should probably be peeled.

Deseed the cucumbers.  Chop into big chunks.  Blend with frozen strawberries and cold almond milk.  Add a touch of raw honey.  It’s simple and delicious.