I’m not allowed to be vegan because:
I sometimes carry a pound of butter around in my purse.
I stir fry my tofu in bacon fat.
I seriously consider grating cheese on my pillow before I go to bed at night.
(ok… not really. that’s just weird.)
I think heavy cream should be awarded its own national holiday. I’d like that day off work too… sweet, thanks.
If a stranger handed me an egg. I’d eat it. I would.