My life is so orderly.  Most afternoons I make up a pot of coffee, whip up some cookies, take out my fancy napkins and invite a friend over for coffee.

Nothing is ever out of place.  My hair is always shiny and perfect.  My lipstick never wears off.  I could totally walk down a read carpet… like, now.

My dishes wash and dry themselves… and hop right back in the cupboard where they belong.

Occasionally there are crumbs, but I keep them contained to my lined baking sheets.

Everything is easy and perfect.  You should see just how neat and tidy my closet is. Too good to be true.

And I don’t have to pay taxes…

… oh man… if only that were true.

In real life, no one is coming over for coffee and cookies.  Nope.

I’ll drink the coffee… I’ll eat the cookies… I’ll push the cat away as soon as he realizes there are cookies on the table for him to lick.

My dishes don’t do themselves.  They can’t.  They have no conscience.

Perfect is dumb.  I’m totally over it.

Can I tell you about these Peanut Butter Biscotti?

I love biscotti a certain way.   No teeth shattering crunch.  Lots of flavor.  A little bit of soft cookie give.  Is that too much to ask?

These peanut butter biscotti totally fit the bill.  They’re sugar topped and twice baked , but still have a some softness.  Pecans don’t bake up into teeth breaking monsters… that’s why I like them.

Here’s what I want you to know:  these cookie dippin’ sticks are good.  If your instinct is to add chocolate… we are best friends.

So….. what do you do when you forget to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday?

Well… obviously you yell at your little sister who remembered to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday, and didn’t remind you to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday.  Some nerve.

See… forgetting to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday is just about as bad as kicking your dear and darling 80 year old grandmother in the shin.  It’s not cool.  There’s no going back.  You’re a real jerk if you don’t call your grandmother on her 80th birthday.

Ok.  Here’s the deal universe.  I hope I live to be 80.  Please.  That would be great.  I think…. I hope.

On May 25, 2061 Universe, I want you to break my phone.  See to it that no one calls to wish me a happy birthday.  I’ll remember why.  I’ll remember that I deserve it.  For real.  Yeeesh!

Also… biscotti.  I made some delicious biscotti.  This is me, sharing.

Cinnamon toast was the first thing I taught myself to make in the kitchen.  White bread.  Inconceivable amounts of softened and salted butter, too much sugar and lots and lots of cinnamon.  Starch?  Sugar and spice!?  It’s perfect.  God bless it.

Cinnamon Sugar Biscotti are the crisp version of cinnamon sugar toast.  Crunchy, loads of sweet cinnamon flavor.  Perfect with a cup of coffee or tea.  And!  These are nut free biscotti!  That’s exciting for me… I don’t really like giant almonds in my cookie.  So… success!

With these Honey Pistachio Biscotti, I would like a do-over.  Please and thank you.  You know what a do-over is: another chance, a big pink eraser for life, apple Z on a Mac.  See, this biscotti recipe called for dried cranberries to accompany the pistachios.  Cranberries would have been lovely, right?  Well I was completely out, and couldn’t muster up the gumption to get to the store to buy any.  Well that was a mistake, and as mention before, I would like a do-over.

Here are a few other things I would like a do-over on… since I’m here-

-Dressing up as an Old Granny for Halloween when I was 17.  That was the year when all the female costumes got a little more risque.  I didn’t get the memo that French maid and slutty witch were in fashion, and it was just awkward.  Who wants an Old Granny at a Halloween party?  I think it was my Mom’s idea.  Do-over please.

- Cheating on a spelling test when I was in 5th grade.  I was a horrible cheater and would have done better on the test if I had just tried myself.

-Not telling Hayden, my first crush that I was was dreamy eyed over him.  Those were back in the days when my bangs were doing strange things with hairspray… yea.  Do-over on both the secret crush and the bangs please.

Ok, enough is enough.  Back to the cookies.  These biscotti turned out crisp and crunchy, with a round sweetness from the honey.  They weren’t a complete disaster.  I did manage to eat most of them myself.  I just can’t help but think how much more glorious they would have been with the cranberries.  I bet they would also be good with if you left out the honey and added chunks of white chocolate!

Cranberry Honey Pistachio Biscotti

adapted from the Gourmet Cookbook

Print this recipe!

1 1/3 cup dried cranberries

1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour

scant 1 cup sugar

2 Tablespoons honey

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

3 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 cup shelled, salted natural pistachios (not dyed red)

1 large egg beaten with one teaspoon of water, for an egg wash

Soak cranberries in boiling water to cover in a small bowl until softened, about 10 minutes.  Drain, then pat them dry with a paper towel.

Put a rack in the middle of oven and preheat oven to 325 degrees F.  Butter and flour a large baking sheet, knocking off excess flour.

Whisk flour, sugar, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a large bowl.  Add eggs, vanilla and honey and mix with an electric mixer at medium speed until dough forms.  Add cranberries ad pistachios and mix at low speed.

Turn dough out onto a well-floured surface and knead several times.  Halve dough.  Using floured hands, form each half into a slightly flattened 13-by-2-inch log on baking sheet, spacing logs about 3 inches apart.  Brush logs with egg wash.

Bake until golden 25 to 30 minutes.  Cool logs on baking sheet on a rack for 10 minutes.  (Leave oven on.)

Transfer logs to a cutting board.  With a serrated knife, cut diagonally into 1/2-inch thick slices.  Arrange slices, cut side down in one layer on a baking sheet (it’s fine if slices touch each other).  Bake, turning once, until golden and crisp, 20-25 minutes.  Transfer biscotti to racks to cool.