Sometimes I turn chocolate into cookies.

Sometimes I turn chocolate into cake.

Once I turned chocolate into sorbet.

I usually sleep with a chocolate bar on my nightstand.  You probably think I’m kidding.  I’m not.  It’s strangely comforting.

Chocolate bread?  Ok… that seems like a good call.

Chocolate for breakfast?  Duh.

But my all time favorite way to work some chocolate into my system is with a simple brownie.  Dense.  Fudgy.  Unadulterated chocolate magic.

Things aren’t that complicated today.  I made brownies.  Dark chocolate brownies.  They were dense but moist, and just fudgy enough to make you reach for a glass of milk.  They were delicious.  I shared them with people.  They made me more popular.  I’m one of the cool kids now.  It was just that easy.

I do this thing when I’m filled to the brim with tasks and opportunities and responsibilities and stresses…. I add more.  I really just pile it on.  I somehow think that adding new responsibilities and stresses will erase the ones I’ve already loaded on my shoulders.  

It’s illogical.  It’s a terrible idea.  It’s downright crazytown.  

I’m in Crazytown and I’m about to move into Lost My Marblesville.  Someone please send a straight jacket.  

In related news, I’ve decided to move into a loft in downtown Los Angeles.  I’m driving to Seattle in a Uhaul next week with my little sister… pray for us.  Aaaand I’m teaching my first cooking class in Sonoma this weekend!  

More on all of these things soon.  For now… here’s what I’m stress eating.. no joke.

Mini Chocolate Dipped Bananas rolled in crushed honey roasted peanuts.  If you really commit to your stress… I mean, really just get in there and wallow in it… I’m sure you can down a cool seven bananas in no time.  Just.  Like.  Me.  

Half spongy souffle cake, half warm pudding, all lemony goodness.  Lemon Souffle Cake.  Maybe I ate this whole souffle right out of the pie pan.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  But… yea, definitely.  That totally happened. 

I have bathed in this Buttermilk Ranch Dressing.  

I like to eat brownies right out of the freezer.  Dense, cold chocolate cake with melty frozen marshmallows?  Yea… I never said I was normal.  S’mores Brownies.  Friends for life. 

Giant Vanilla Sugar Cookies.  There’s nothing like a cup of tea and a cookie the size of your face to wash your troubles away.   Dreamy.

Note:  Am I encouraging emotional overeating with this post?  No.  Yes… No.  Well… maybe a little.  I’m half kidding, half overcommitted and definitely stuffing cookies in my face at every opportunity.  That’s just the honest truth.  I hope you can handle it. 

My favorite part of my sixth grade history text books were not the pictures.  Oooooh no… too easy.  I loved the little timelines at the end of a lesson, the kind of timeline that so neatly wrapped up the life and struggles of so many people.  Distill the entire American Civil Rights Movement into a timeline.  The progression of people and actions becomes so tidy and clear.  Aaah, thanks for the timeline.

I sometimes like to think of my life in timeline form.  I pick a theme and timeline it out in my head.  Yes, this happens.

Let’s timeline out my favorite ice cream flavors from the 1980′s to the present.  Not nearly as socially crucial as civil rights, but still somehow important.

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{ 1983- Strawberry Ice Cream is the only flavor in my world}  {1987- Whoa!  Bubble Gum in ice cream!?  Yes.  Want!}  {1990-  Rocky Road is the only way to go}     {1994-  Is it still Mint Chocolate Chip if it’s not green?  I say yes!}  {1999-  Cherry Garcia, will you marry me?}  {2005-  Going retro with Rainbow Sherbet, success!  {2009-  Enjoying the clever stylings of Brownie Bottom Coffee Ice Cream Cupcakes.  Consider them little cups of perfect fun right from the freezer.  For reals.}

Now that I can check “make an ice cream timeline” off my list of things to do today, let’s talk Ice Cream Cupcakes. Yes.  Yes!  Yes!!

I’ve made Ice Cream Cupcakes before.  They were deliciously bite-sized and made of Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.  This time around, Ice Cream Cupcakes have grown in size and matured in flavor.  Combine chewy chocolate brownies with coffee ice cream, chocolate ganache and whipped cream.  What a fine world it is.  Summer is sneaking up on us, and here’s what we’re gonna do about it.

On Saturday afternoon I found my self standing in my kitchen, sipping a hot cup of milky Ovaltine. As I stood there, I started reading the Ovaltine canister… you know, like you read the box of cereal as you eat breakfast.

It turns out that my unassuming canister of Ovaltine had a recipe for me. I paused. I raised an eyebrow. I set down my mug of Rich Chocolate Ovaltine and I decided to bake their Ovaltine brownie recipe.

Let me stop here to answer the questions that have undoubtedly formed in your mind.

Yes, on rare occasions, I’ve been known to enjoy a cup of warm Rich Chocolate Ovaltine. A girl can only drink so much tea.

No, I will never again enjoy a warm cup of Rich Chocolate Ovaltine.

Why? I’ve discovered that Rich Chocolate Ovaltine is neither rich, nor chocolate. I’m not even convinced that it’s food. It should not be baked into brownies. Ugh. God. Ick. No! Mistake.

What happened? My ‘brownies’ came out of the oven bubbling with butter and chocolate-ish preservatives. Brownies are not supposed to bubble with butter. My house didn’t even smell like warm brownie goodness. It wasn’t a pretty picture. I felt sorry for the two sticks of innocent butter that I subjected to such torture.

But I learned something- something that I had already known, but my judgement must have been clouded by artificial chocolate flavoring. Use real ingredients. There is no substitute. Ovaltine is not chocolate. It might say it’s chocolate. It might strive to be chocolate, but it’s not, and it has no business in your brownie pan.

Sigh.

Don’t get it twisted. I’m not entirely hating on Ovaltine. Ovaltine rocks the house in my Chocolate Buttercream Frosting.