Given the choice between being home and not being home… I’m the girl that always chooses home.

Brooklyn is amazing.  San Francisco is delicious.  Baltimore is bonkers.  Home is my heart.  Home is where I keep my jar of Sharpie markers, my clean white sheets with the familiar smell, and my giant mankitten.

Home is also where I keep my fry thermometer and bowl of apples.

Home will come soon… until then, I still have some new sights to put my eyes on.  Until then… please enjoy these fried apple things I made.

Imagine what onion rings would taste like if they were made out of apples instead of onions… and then topped with sugar.

Totally easy to imagine, mostly because it’s done and done right here.

I never seem to have much luck with an apple corer.  God made apple all wonky and crooked.  The core never goes straight down.  I use a small, 1-inch circular biscuit cutter to chop the core out of apples.

See there?  I just popped the holes out!

The beginning of apple doughnuts!

This is a double battered creation.  The first batter is a milky cinnamon sugar batter.  This lays the base for the second batter… crispy panko bread crumbs.

The milk batter adds sugar, spice and flavor, the panko bread crumbs keep the doughnuts crispy.  Also… anything double battered is inherently awesome.

They look just like onion rings, but they’re dessert!

Ps.  I also consider onion rings to be dessert… but maybe that’s just me.

I love to sprinkle these fried apples with powdered sugar, and serve hot out of the fryer.  The batter is spiced and crunchy, the apple inside is tender with just a hint of crunch.  They’re cooked but still maintain a bit of crunch.

Under no circumstances do I want you to come to this blog, read it, and leave with the sense that I have my act together.  I don’t have my act together.  If it looks for a moment like I have my act together… I’m just barely holding on.  Hear these words.

I was reading a website last week, and the writer posted a picture of her nightstand.  Perfectly mundane.  Perfectly innocent.  Except… the nightstand had three things on it.  Something fancy made by Steve Jobs, something that probably smelled like roses in heaven, and a perfectly placed tube of designer lip gloss.  Perfect layered on perfect, with a dash of perfect. Maybe I freaked out a little on the inside.  Maybe my nightstand is a dusty clutter of books that I’m currently ignoring.  Maybe I can’t find my lip gloss… and if I could it surely would not be designer… and it surely would have cat hair on it.

I’m not much for comparing myself with others… but I am for comparing nightstands apparently.

Mine is not put together.

Also… while we’re here… you should also know that I have to throw my phone in the back seat of my car to keep myself from texting and driving.  All the way in the back.  Otherwise I can’t help myself.

Oh.  Sometimes I daydream about running into the boy I used to date earlier this year.  In my fantasy, I look fantastic… like fatally fantastic.  I’m also with my new (majorly amazingly tall) new boyfriend…. thus making this dummy dude feel like a total shrimp.  I so so so wish for that to happen.

See?  I’m fickle, and messy, and texty… AND I CAN TOTALLY COOK SOME APPLES!!!! So there…

Apples are just bonkers right now.  I say we take advantage of this!

What follows is the most simple recipe for warm, soft, cinnamon-y apples.  I started with crisp Fujis.

Essentially, what we’re going to create is the inside of an apple pie… without all the hassle of pie crust.

One might argue that the crust is the best part of an apple pie.  Fair enough.  Fine.  You’re not entirely wrong.

But pulling these apples out of the oven might change your mind.

You might also consider baking these apples instead of lighting a scented candle .  Your house will smell exactly like heaven.

Why don’t spas smell like warm cinnamon apples?  Someone really should take this into consideration.

I love these apples on yogurt with granola.  I love these warm apples on cold ice cream.  I love these apples on breakfast oatmeal.  I love eating these apples, piping hot, standing over the sheet pan with a fork.

Some things are just simple and delicious.

Now is not the time to be thinking about New Year’s Resolutions.  Ignore the plastic Christmas trees at Costco… we still have time.  We have months.  The year is not over yet.  We can totally take it easy.

I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions.  They’re totally unrealistic, right?  I feel like my best intentions of dieting, cleaning, saving money, and being a better human in the world are all flushed down the toilet when I cut people off in traffic while eating doughnuts and throwing money out the window on January 2nd.  (Was that a run-on sentence?) ((Don’t answer that.))

Ok.  So I don’t throw money out the window.  Come on…

Let me get to the point.

I like to make mini resolutions.  I make a little resolution, in my crazybrain, each season.  Here we are in Autumn… and it’s time to rearrange my goals.  I totally nailed my summer goals of wearing bikini tops as bras and keeping my nails done-did.  Now it’s time to rearrange.

This Autumn is all about loving hard, giving quality time to others, not texting at dinner, and wearing these friendship bracelets until they fall off my wrist.  I keep it simple.  It’s usually the simple intentions that influence the larger movements in my life.  Trust.  I’m not completely superficial.

Do you have some goals you’re going to make this Autumn?  Do they have anything to do with living right and making this awesome, yeasty coffee cake!?  Say yes!  Live right!

As with most good things, this coffee cake starts with a yeasted dough base.

The dough is full of eggs and butter, which make if really easy to work with and knead.  It reminds me of a cake/bread hybrid.

Oh… did I mention that we’re making not one, but TWO coffee cakes!?  True.  It’s we’re going to take the time to work with yeast, let’s just make two cakes and freeze one!  Good thinking.

Does this look like the makings of a cinnamon roll with apples?  You’re not far off!  This coffee cake is like a series of cinnamon rolls that are connected.

Cinnamon apples and streusel fill this cake.

Apple pie meets coffee cake meets cinnamon roll.

Yea.  I love you.

Rolled up like a cinnamon roll.  Snipped into connected pieces.  Shaped like a crooked horseshoe.

Juicy and a little messy.  Whatevs.

Even if just a little messy, this cake bakes up like a dream come true.

This spiced, sweet, breakfast cake is a soft and tender play on traditional coffee cake.  It’s a bit more time consuming, but it’s pretty simple to roll up two cake rolls, place one on a parchment lined baking sheet to bake, and place the other in the freezer for a breakfast emergency.

This cake screams Autumn comfort.  Screams it!  Happy screams.  From the rooftop!

Oh!

Other yeasty items I want you to be obsessed with:

Lemon Raspberry Breakfast Rolls

Cinnamon-Sugar Pull-Apart Bread

Strawberry Balsamic Flatbread

New Joy the Baker Podcast is ready for your ears!  Get your listen on!!

When I was a small little baby girl, I was super stoked to grow up and:

Wear sunglasses like Jackie O.  Stop doing homework.  Shave my legs (um…. wwwhhhhyyyy!?).  Stay up past 9:30.  Watch all the Beverly Hills 90210 ever ever ever made.  Do my own hair.  Roller skate without a helmet.  Play basketball better than my little sister (I can not.  I mean… come on).  Be a firefighter, writer, or veterinarian.  Eat cookies for breakfast, Cheetos for lunch, and fried chicken and chocolate cake for dinner.

I’m a real-life grown-up now.

I’ve moved past my haphazard Jackie O phase.  I’m pretty sure that email is the new homework.  I shave my legs, but wow… the appeal of that pastime is loooong gone.  I stay up as late as I want… because I’m grown.  Beverly Hills 90210 has been replaced by Real Housewives of Minnetonka.  I get my hair done did…. and that feels nice.  I wear a helmet because I’m totally over trying to look cute.  I’m totally into trying to look alive.  I realized I don’t like fire, dictionaries, or sick animals.  I don’t eat Cheetos for lunch.  If I ate fried chicken and chocolate cake everyday I would be a happy and hefty lady.

But!  but but but but but….. I can totally have cookies for breakfast.

I may have known absolutely nothing about my adult self as a young youth…. Meh! At least now there are cookies, and coffee, and iPhones.

These are happy happy cookies!  Major.

They’re absolutely filled with good for you stuffs!

Whole wheat flour.  Oats.  Millet.  Carrots.  Dried cherries.  Maple Syrup.  Coconut oil.  and Ginger!

Amazing!

I didn’t say any words like butter, chocolate, peanut butter, cupcake, nutella, marshmallows.  I didn’t say aaaany of those words!  It sorta made me twitch a little.

These breakfast cookies are entirely wholesome and totally delicious.  They’re moist, soft, and cakey… like carrot cake with a crunch.  They have just a hint of coconut flavor (from the oil), a little zip from the ginger, and a perfect tartness from the dried cherries.  I am totally obsessed!

If you eat one whole rushing out of the house, into your car, into traffic, spilling your coffee, forgetting your cell phone, trying to get to work… I assure you, you’ll feel like a real-life grown-up.  For better or worse.

Once upon a time, as a young youth with frizzy hair and giant teeth, I went to Disneyland with my family.

We went on rides.  I saw Michael Jackson as Captain EO, and tried to replicate his dance moves for the rest of the day.  We got popcorn, I secretly made faces at other children standing in line (I was not trying to make friends… I was simply being a major weirdo), and I remember some sort of parade.  There’s always a parade at Disneyland.

We watched the Abraham Lincoln show, which… as a young youth… is the most boring thing I could possibly experience.  We stood there as a statue of President Lincoln was illuminated and some prerecorded speech about freedom was played.  I think… maybe I don’t remember this correctly.  Since I was not shoveling sour candies into my face, I was sure that this show was going to make my eyes bleed from boredom. I was sure it was possible.

Just after the show, as we were exiting, my aunt (who has always been the pillar of clumsiness) stumbled down the stairs and sprained her ankle.  Good grief, I thought…. I totally should make my mom buy me sour balls for having to endure this inconvenience to my funtime awesomeday.

Do you know what happens when you fall at Disneyland (back in the 1980′s before everyone sued everyone else)??  I’ll tell you… it’s awesome:

They take you to the backstage/secret/red alert/ what’s even back there anyway/ Disneyland area.  The place where Goofy walks around without his head on, and Snow Whites could care less, and Tinkerbell is smoking a cigarette (ok… that didn’t happen… but I SO wish it did)!!! They take you and your family backstage, and sit you down, and give you juice, and ask you if you’re ok, and bring you medical attention… AND YOU GET TO SEE GOOFY WITHOUT HIS HEAD ON!!! Clearly this left a lasting impression on me…. as a young youth.

What do kids have these days?  Lawsuits and Disney cruises.  Pffft.  Weak.

Anyway… Um.

Churros remind me of Disneyland.

So…. yea.

This churros recipe might be different than anything you’ve ever made.

These are my notes… I know, a little kooky.

There will be several point throughout this recipe where you might curse my name, and insist that I’ve made you mess up a recipe and waste ingredients.

Don’t yell.  I can’t hear you.

We can get through this together.  Promise.

We start by boiling water, butter, sugar, and salt.

If this feels weird… that’s because it is.  Melt down these ingredients, whisk em up, and turn the heat to low.

With me?

Over low heat, stir the flour into the hot butter mixture.  Stir it up with a spatula.  Do not freak out.

Stir through the lumps.  Keep the pan over low heat.  Trust in the process.  After about 30 to 45 seconds, the mixture will form a loose ball, like the one pictured above.

Phew!  You did it!

Let’s stir in the eggs.  You might freak out again.  Stay with me.

Place the dough into a large bowl.  Let rest for 5 minutes. Add the eggs one at a time, stirring in with a spatula.

Halfway through stirring in the eggs, the batter will look like this.  I know… not cool.  Keep stirring.

This will happen.  This is exactly what you want to happen.

Sticky, eggy dough.  Perfect.

You’ll need a large star tip and a pastry bag, or big ZipLock bag.

Oh!  And scissors too!

See, you’ll squeeze the batter into the hot oil, and slice the dough off with the kitchen scissors.

Totes.

They’re a little funny looking.

By funny looking, I mean… totally delicious!

Oh…. also… my cat is INSANE.

After being tossed in cinnamon and sugar, these churros are the perfect food.

I like these dipped in warm chocolate sauce… but I like everything dipped in warm chocolate sauce.  So. Yea.

Milk from nuts! Milk from oats!  Milk with cinnamon.  Milk with sugar.

Homemade Cashew Oat Milk is my new favorite… oh-my-goodness-I’m-totally-obsessed… thing.

Raw cashews are soaked, rinsed and blended with ground oats, fresh ground cinnamon, agave, and filtered water.  The result is a surprisingly creamy, slightly sweet, dairy-free drink.

It’s delicious is coffee.  I poured it in my tea.  I drank it straight from the bottle.  I dunked about 12 of these Vegan Ginger Cookies in this milk.  I let my cat drink some.    I thought about brushing my teeth with it.  I thought about dating it.  I thought about knitting it a shawl.  I think I might be losing it.

… but I made milk.  And I’m not a cow.  And I’m pretty excited.

Cashews are full of all sorts of healthy fats.  They’ve got copper.  They help eliminate free radicals.  They’re full of magnesium.  They’re dang good for you.

Oatmeal is great for the heart.  It’s full of fiber and helps to thicken the milk and makes the belly feel full.

I used a spice grinder (it’s actually my old coffee grinder cleaned out) to pulverize two cinnamon sticks and the old fashioned oats.  If you don’t have a spice grinder, you can surely use ground cinnamon and a blender to pulverize the oats.

If you don’t have a blender… I think you should totally get one.

After blending the nuts, oats, cinnamon agave and water, I strained it through this fine mesh strainer.  I pressed hard to release all the milk, and got a fair amount of nut, oat, and cinnamon bits in my milk.  I loved it.  But!  If you want a smoother milk… line the fine mesh strainer with cheese cloth for straining, and strain the milk several times.  Smooth milk.

Vegan milk with vegan cookies.  I’m pretty stoked on this.

And tomorrow… you’ll most likely find me with a stick of butter in my hand.  I’m complicated.

I know everything is supposed to be  red and green and blue and white this time of year.

I know…

But look for brown and delicious I made everything?

Ok… I’m being weird.  Mostly because I, for some reason, can’t bring myself to make Christmas tree sugar cookies.  I just don’t want to do it.

Besides,  brown and delicious things come from butter and brown sugar and cinnamon and apples.  Just let this happen.

I was surprised how much I loved the addition of soft, fresh fruit to these cookies.

These cookies have crisp edges, hearty oats and walnuts and tender apple bits.  A dash of cinnamon sprinkled on top brings cinnamon right to your nose.  It’s delicious.  Don’t argue with me on this one.

Cinnamon.  It’s a constant in my cupboard.

Cinnamon is that spice that instantly makes baked goods feel extra warm and extra comforting.

The smell from the oven?  Pretty much perfect.

It feels like Autumn is trying to sneak up on us.  Cinnamon just makes sense these days.  Let me show you some things I’ve shown you before.  This seems like a good weekend for some baking.

Pear Spice Cake with Walnut Praline Topping. Rich.  Spiced.  Delicate.  Caution:  you will want to eat the praline topping by the fistful.  You’ll have to stop yourself.  Good luck.

Vegan Coconut Pineapple Banana Bread.

That’s a lot of words…. and there’s cinnamon in it too.

This is one of my favorite breads over.  I make it when there’s nothing left in my fridge but dying bananas.

Yea…

Cinnamon Sugar Biscotti… like toast became a cookie.  Awesome.

Ohmygosh.  This Spiced Apple Cake is so crazy yummy.  Maybe I’m just a sucker for baked apples and cinnamon.

Duh.

It’s vegan.  It’s pumpkin.  It’s walnut. It’s cinnamon.  It’s maple syrup.  It’s super dang good.

If you’ve been here for a while and you haven’t yet made this Apple Crisp, I don’t know what to tell you… this recipe is a game changer.  Trust me.  Please.  Go.  Do.  Go.  Do.  Go.  Do.  Go.  Do!

I swear… cooking rice in sugar and milk has got to be one of the best things man has ever created.  Well…that and mouth breathing.  You know that feels good.

Brown Rice Rice Pudding.

And!

Tea inspired, Chai Spice Pancakes.  Because I will find any and every excuse to make up a new pancake recipe.

I made y’all some bread.

Some big, fat, in your face, whole wheat apple bread.  It’s the kind of bread that will kick your morning coffee in the face… with love and respect.

I like to do things with love and respect… even if it’s yelling at the Los Angeles traffic gods… or channeling my snarky side while on the phone with the IRS.  If I say it’s done with love and respect… totally ok, right?

I love when sweet treats are also filled with things like whole wheat, and walnuts and flax seeds.  It’s full of health, despite the butter and sugar.  This bread is tastes like home… if your home were in, say… rural Oregon.

I like the combination of grated and coarsely chopped apples in this recipe.  You get all the flavor and moisture of the apples combined with big ol’ chunks too.  Delightful.  Walnuts are great in this recipe and flax seeds add all kinds of health.  If you don’t happen to have flax seeds on hand.  No worries.  You can leave them out.

Make this bread.  It has cinnamon and apples in it.  Really… that’s all you need to know, right?

Quick note:  I only needed two apples for this loaf.  The third apple I ate with my face.

Ingredients.  Essential.

Apples.  Walnuts.  Flax Seeds.

Sugar topping gets crusty and extra yummy when baked.  For serious.

This is the part that includes your face.  Insert bread into face.

Oh!  One more thing… if you like crazy healthy breakfast treats, you might also enjoy these Gnarley Muffins.  I posted this waaaay back in the day when I had only been at this whole blogging thing for a month.  The pictures?  Pretty bad.

So….. what do you do when you forget to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday?

Well… obviously you yell at your little sister who remembered to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday, and didn’t remind you to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday.  Some nerve.

See… forgetting to call your grandmother on her 80th birthday is just about as bad as kicking your dear and darling 80 year old grandmother in the shin.  It’s not cool.  There’s no going back.  You’re a real jerk if you don’t call your grandmother on her 80th birthday.

Ok.  Here’s the deal universe.  I hope I live to be 80.  Please.  That would be great.  I think…. I hope.

On May 25, 2061 Universe, I want you to break my phone.  See to it that no one calls to wish me a happy birthday.  I’ll remember why.  I’ll remember that I deserve it.  For real.  Yeeesh!

Also… biscotti.  I made some delicious biscotti.  This is me, sharing.

Cinnamon toast was the first thing I taught myself to make in the kitchen.  White bread.  Inconceivable amounts of softened and salted butter, too much sugar and lots and lots of cinnamon.  Starch?  Sugar and spice!?  It’s perfect.  God bless it.

Cinnamon Sugar Biscotti are the crisp version of cinnamon sugar toast.  Crunchy, loads of sweet cinnamon flavor.  Perfect with a cup of coffee or tea.  And!  These are nut free biscotti!  That’s exciting for me… I don’t really like giant almonds in my cookie.  So… success!