Dear Future Husband,

I got your email yesterday… the one with the subject line “To My Future Wife”.

Um….. can I be honest?  That was sweet… but a little creeptown.

I know… I know… you’re probably going to say it was all a joke and you were just kidding and blah blah blah.

Listen.  You may get the impression from this blog that it’s all sunshine and lollipops here at my end of the world.

Here’s some things you should know:

Sometimes I run out of toothpaste and forget to buy more.  Irresponsible.  I’m sorry.

I only have 168 Facebook friends.  That’s not a lot.

I adopt stray cats… even the ones with dirty, matted fur.  And I love them.  And I talk to them in my cat voice.

I have a voice I use specifically for cats.

I put my feet on the coffee table.  I’m demanding and unreasonable when I get stressed out.  I text too much.   I don’t want a pet bird.  I don’t want to pretend that I like your mother’s pet bird.  Oh.. and I’ll lose my everloving mind if you get pee on the floor and don’t clean it up.  I will.

So… yea.  I understand if you want to retract that email now.  If you don’t, you’re nutso.

I made breakfast polenta this morning.  Since I couldn’t decide if I wanted it sweet of savory, I made it both ways.

Then I ate both bowls.

Then I realized that I wanted savory breakfast polenta… but the sweet polenta was a lovely warm up.

Polenta… if you don’t know… is ground cornmeal.  When boiled with water, milk and butter, cornmeal cooks up into a creamy, warm, super comforting bowl of good.

Please allow me this bright and promising Monday morning to keep it one hundred percent real with you.  While this gluten free cake was buttery, nutty, bright with the flavor of lemon and perfectly sweet, the truth is, it ended up all over my floor.  Well… ok, bits on the floor, chunks on the counter, and pieces in my dirty sink.  Basically, this cake landed everywhere except the cake plate where I wanted it.

I salvaged a few if the larger pieces to mock up a pretty picture for you.  For a few moments I thought I might not even tell you about my cake accident.  But… see, my cake didn’t just land on the floor because I’m clumsy, but because I was taking baking liberties that I shouldn’t have.  Fact.

This cake taught me a small lesson about baking pan choices and cooking times.  It also helped me get my cake dropping out of the way for the next several months.  I only drop a cake every three months or so.  I feels good to be free and clear for a few months to come.

Here’s what you should know about this cake.  The crumb is held together with butter, almond flour and eggs.  While the cake is full of great flavor, it’s a bit crumbly.  To best work with the crumb of this cake, I think it would be best baked in mini loaf pans, or mini bundt pans, or those long and skinny loaf pans (6×2 1/2-inches) if you have them.  Cupcakes also worked out well, baking for 20 to 25 minutes, until the edges were nice and brown.  Regular sized, larger loaf pans will most likely create a cake that is sunken in the middle.  Bundt pans.. well that’s how I dropped my cake on the floor… no good.

When it comes to baking this beauty, you might be surprised when I say: longer is better.  We’re not looking for a lightly colored American style cake here.  We’re looking for a French brown:  a baked good left to bake until the sides are beautifully dark brown.  I think the longer cooking time will help the crumb stay together better.

I’m thinking my mistakes will help you create a better cake.  Go on… bake away!

Pop Quiz:

If you could only eat one thing for the rest of you life what would it be: sweet and creamy breakfast polenta with milk or (oh my gracious heavens) sweet and creamy fried polenta bars with blackberry meyer lemon jam?

No contest.  Fried polenta with blackberry jam every day, all day.  Let’s do this.

Remember yesterday I told you about Vanilla Brown Sugar Breakfast Polenta?  That was just a dirty trick to make you have enough leftover polenta to make the real deal:  fried polenta.

A quick heads up:  this recipe involves butter and results in an almost French Toast-ish, outta this world breakfast.  If you’re not ready for that… completely understandable… you might want to sit this one out.   I won’t judge.

I don’t do dishes in the morning.  Dishes are no way to start the day.

While I am all about a big, fat, kitchen wrecking breakfast- morning clean up is absolutely nowhere in my early day itinerary.

The reality is, I may not get to have that perfect, sunny morning weekend wake up experience everday.  I am convinced, however, that there’s a way to put a smile on my face every morning… even if you have to force it on with a wrench.

When I’m in no mood to get out of bed and start my day I give myself this little speech in my head:  Joy,  stop being such a crabby pants.  Get out of bed, go put on that big robe that feels like a combination of cloud and kitten and make yourself breakfast without setting those robe sleeves on fire.  While you’re treating yourself to a fine morning… go ahead and take a break from those breakfast dishes.  You’ve done enough work just getting out of bed… The dishes can wait.

And just like that, the ugly Monday morning isn’t as nasty a beast as I thought.

Make Monday morning Vanilla Brown Sugar Breakfast Polenta, and let the dirty pan soak in the sink until you get home from work.  Live a little… don’t do the dishes.

What’s the deal with polenta?

Here’s what you need to know:  polenta is ground white or yellow cornmeal.  It is boiled with water or milk and made into a warm and super pleasing porridge.  The mixtures cooks up smooth and creamy and can be made either sweet or savory according to your needs.

The Moretti polenta I used is straight from Italy, although you can find it here it the states.  It’s dreamy.  The Moretti family has been making polenta in Lombardy since 1922.  Their corn is air dried then stone crushed.  It’s the real deal.  The polenta meal comes in different levels of coarseness.  I chose the fine grain meal because it cooks up faster and I love the texture for breakfast food.

Note:  If you have leftover polenta, don’t dump it!  Line a loaf pan with plastic wrap, add the leftover cooked polenta and cover with the overhanging plastic wrap.  Throw it in the fridge for a night or two, and I’ll show you how to make fried polenta sticks next!