Dear New Year,

Here’s the deal!  I like carrot sticks.  I’m going to keep eating those.  I like oatmeal cookies.  I’m going to continue to consider them a breakfast cookie.  I’ll drink green juices.  I’ll even like it.

Also… I’m going to continue to follow 3 people on Facebook that I don’t actually like.  It’s that ‘keep your enemies close’ thing.

I’m going to drink tea, but I’ll always love coffee more.

I’ll go to church.  I’ll volunteer… and I’ll try to be better all the time.  I’ll try most sincerely.  I’ll try to love more and text less.

I’m going to find a new bourbon to appreciate.  That should be bonkers fun.

I’m going to eat real dinners, unless eating cold cereal while reading Food and Wine magazine makes more sense.

That’s where this roasted beef sandwich comes in.  Gorgeous.  Glorious.  Blessed day!  This could be the answer to unanswered questions.  Slow cooking, good smelling, tender tender, sandwich goodness.

Alright New Year, I’m gonna getcha!

Love,

Joy

This might have been love at first sight.  Now I know what that’s like.  Thank you!

There is such beauty in the simplicity of this recipe.  Beef roast is combined with broth, lots of raw garlic, onion, fresh sage and fresh thyme.  I used a large Dutch oven… but a slow cooker (crock pot) also works well too!  Beef is slooooooow cooked to tender perfection.  This takes hoooouuuurrrsss.  You can do all sorts of things in the time it takes for this roast to simmer, cook, and make your home smell amazing.

Errands.  Emails.  Closet organizing.  Nail painting.  Cookbook browsing.  Facebook stalking… imagine the things you could do.

After cooking the meat is removed from the liquid and shredded with two forks.  It falls apart, really.  It is a perfect thing.

The roasted beef is matched with brioche buns and spicy horseradish mayonnaise.  Major delicious.  Major boy food.  Major family food.  Set it and forget it…. and then be amazed at what an amazing chef you are!

These photographs were taken with an iPhone using Instagram.  Keeping it simple.

Who am I to tell you how to make a dang sandwich?

I don’t know how much mayonnaise you like to spread on your bread.  I don’t know how spicy you like your mustard.  I don’t know how cheesy you like your situation.  I can’t know how tall you like to stack your ham.

I don’t want to get into your sandwich making business.  It’s a personal thing.  I know.

But!  May I just offer you two humble suggestions?

Pickles and Potato Chips.  Inside.

You knew this was bound to happen.

Typical animal.  Always after the good stuff with his smelling nose.

Grilled ham and cheese is easy .  I don’t have to convince you that it’s a simple and delicious sandwich.  Adding pickles and potato chips is a salty, crunchy stroke of genius.  Enjoy warm, just after grilling, with a hearty handful of potato chips.

Grilled Ham Cheese Pickle and Potato Chip Sandwich

You’ll need:

2 slices of sandwich bread

Dijon mustard

cheddar cheese sliced thin

about 5 thinly sliced pieces of ham

sliced dill pickles

a handful of salted potato chips

1 tablespoon of butter for grilling

What you’ll do:

Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat.

Spread mustard over both sides of bread.  Top with cheese, ham, pickles, potato chips, and more cheese.

Smash sandwich breads together.  Grill in melted butter on both sides until golden brown and the cheese is melted.

Slice in half.  Serve immediately before the chips get soggy.

I’m a lady… and this Valentine’s Day I’m going to treat myself like a lady.  I’ll open doors for myself.  I’ll pour myself the first glass of wine.  I’ll let me eat the last soft french fry.  I’ll drape my coat over a puddle for me to walk across.  I’ll slyly check myself out as I walk by.  Huh?  I’ll buy myself movie tickets and tell me I look pretty today.  That’s how it’s going to go down.  Except… I won’t put my jacket in a puddle because that’s just dumb.  Who does that?  Dummies.

This Valentine’s Day is going to get pretty glamorous.  I’m going to make myself a sandwich, scoop up some olives and drink a perfectly reasonable amount of wine.  Dig it.

This Valentine’s Day, I’d also like to tell these people that I love them… because I do. I love you Asher, Launa, Lauren, Whitney, Zach, Rachel, Jenelle (you crazy lady), Jill, Kitten and Michael.  I love you all so much.  I love you enough to throw chocolate at you and run away.  Wait… what?  Let’s make out.  Nevermind.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and you.

It’s a good day to love people.  It also seems like a good day to love olives and marbles and wine.

Don’t confuse olives and marbles in your mouth.  Mistake.

I’m no rocket scientist. Yea.  Duh.   This sandwich isn’t a genius combination of ingredients.  It is super delicious and melty and green and salty.  So at least there’s that.

This is the world in which I’ll be shoveling this sandwich into my face.

Cat eats my olives.

Oh!  And this is what I’m having for dessert.

It’s a banana stuffed with dark chocolate and white chocolate and salted peanuts and shredded coconut. I wrapped it in foil and baked it in the oven.  When I was a kid we would pull this sort of stunt while at sleep away camp, but we’d cook the foil covered bananas in the campfire.  That’s livin.

Also… don’t be alarmed that the baked banana peel will be black.  That’s what happens when bananas peels are baked.  The inside will be a warm baked banana topped with melted chocolate, et al. But… it’s not like this is a fancy show piece dessert.  It’s more of a dessert-for-one sort of situation.

Now this is the part where I give you instructions on how to make a sandwich…. as if you don’t already know…. forgive me.

No more cookies, please.

I only want to eat sandwiches and garlic until I stink.

Wait… that’s weird.

While I do have a serious aversion to baked goods this week… I still seem to be eating Nutella from the jar.

It’s complicated.

Can I tell you the secret to super delicious Egg Salad?

Fresh herbs and lemon.  Yes!  The brightness of herbs and lemon really balance out creamy eggs and mayo.  Whole grain mustard is always a good idea too.

If I had little pickle bits to add to the salad… this would be one of my favorite things ever.

Have you ever treated yourself to an expensive tomato?

Have you ever treated yourself to a single heirloom tomato?  In season.  Ripe.  Striped with color.  Fleshy.  Juicy.  Sweet.  (I sorta sounds like I’m talking about butts… my apologies).

In any case… have you ever paid nearly $4 for a single tomato?

I have.

When really good tomatoes are thaaaat expensive, you choose carefully.  You don’t care if you’re blocking the skinny yoga girl who is fluttering about behind you trying to get at the same tomato display.  Excuse me, skinny yoga girl…. I’m going to take my time with this one.  You should go eat a steak anyway.

What do you do with your ‘spensive tomato once you’ve requested that it be packed in it’s own separate bag, once you’ve placed it in the empty passager seat next to you, once you’ve coddled it all the way home?

You put bacon on it.  It is the only option.

Ok… so we’re going to put more than just bacon onto a tomato.

We’re making BLT sandwiches, with the best ingredients we can get out hands on.  Because we’re (totes) worth it.

First.  Good bread.  Mine is from La Brea Bakery.  Gimme.  It’s good.

Organic Red Leaf Butter Lettuce.

That’s a lot of words for lettuce.  See?  Fancy.

Mayonnaise.

It’s not that fancy.

It’s just mayonnaise.

Nice, thick sliced, smoked bacon.  Extra slices.  Extra crisp.

Combine all ingredients in between bread slices.

Marvel at the beauty of your expensive tomato, fancy lettuce, crispy bacon… and the bread that you toasted in the residual bacon fat….

and then shove the entire thing into your mouth.  Slowly.

Epic.

ps.  if you have your own heirloom tomato plant, i salute you and your fancypants.

It’s Friday.  I know you weren’t expecting this, but it’s time for a Pop Quiz.

Don’t worry.  If you’ve done the reading this should be easy… (I hated when teachers would say that to me).

Pop Quiz

1) True or False: The joining of chocolate and coffee is like a cosmic combination of all that is good, just, and rock and roll in the universe.

2) Fill in the Blank: Breakfast is the most _________________ .

3)  Multiple Choice: The best choice for this weekend’s breakfast treat is:

a) stale Cheerios.

b) Gerard Butler and hot fudge sauce.

c) breakfast sandwiches made on Cheddar Black Pepper Biscuits.

Now… here are the answers:

1)  True….. duh!  2) Breakfast is the most important meal that ever was.  3) c… if and only if b is unavailable.

Perfect score?  We’re best friends.  Take note.

Breakfast.  Be still my heart.  I love you breakfast.

The combination of cheddar with buttery biscuits is divine.  Add a little kick of black pepper and holy yum!  These biscuits are made with both all-purpose and whole wheat flour.  I like the nuttiness of whole wheat flour.  Now you know.  The combination results in a dense but buttery and delicious biscuit.  They’re the perfect holder of turkey bacon and a fried egg.  Make a sandwich.  Dooooo it!

You know that team building exercise you might play at sleep-away camp that requires you to fall backwards into the waiting arms of a fellow camper?  The Trust Fall?  The basic idea is that you completely let yourself fall backwards, trusting that the person behind you has arms outstretched to catch you before you hit the ground.  It’s a very literal way of saying “Hey!  I’ve got your back!”  or “Don’t worry, I’ll catch you if you fall.”  If the person you’ve entrusted to catch you is not paying attention and flirting with her sleep-away boyfriend as you fall… well, you might have trust issues for life.  Not cool.

I bring up the old Trust Fall because we’re talking about sandwiches.  Sandwiches are serious business.  I feel like I need to do a good round of Trust Falling with someone before we’re allowed to make each other sandwiches.  Like I said… sandwiches are serious.

I need to know that someone has got my back when they make me a sandwich.  Who’s making me a sandwich?  No one… that’s not the point.  It’s all about trust, and care and attention.  Like… which slices of bread they choose from the loaf, and how the mayonnaise doesn’t sneak over the edges, and how the tomato slices are just thin enough, and the lettuce is mostly dry from the washing.  Sandwiches have a lot of details.  There’s a lot going on.  I need to trust that my sandwich maker can handle these details… you know?

What?  Too much?  It’s just a sandwich?  Yea… a sandwich.  I take my sandwiches to heart.  I haven’t done the old Trust Fall with the young gentlemen at my local sandwich shop, so frankly, I don’t know if I can trust them to make me a sandwich… ridiculous, but true.

So, yes.  I’m a touch neurotic about my sandwiches.  That’s just how it goes.  Because I’m so ridiculous, I usually make my own.

This time around I made my own mayonnaise, because, holy heck it’s easy!  Mayonnaise is a simple emulsion of egg yolk, flavors like mustard and seasoning, acid, and a fat like canola oil or olive oil.   Olive oil will make a strongly flavored mayonnaise.  I went for a roasted red pepper (I bought a jar) version using grapeseed oil as the fat.  This version creates a slightly looser mayonnaise than the one you might scoop from the store bought jars.  For a plain mayonnaise you can make with a bowl and a whisk, check out this tutorial.  It’s handy.