I’m twenty nine years old.  I’m an adult.  I pay my bills.  I do my taxes.  I go to jury duty.  I stand in line at the post office without heavy sighs.  I floss too!  I totally floss.

And yet.  Somehow.  I thought it would be ok… not just ok, but reasonable… not just reasonable… but a good idea to make chocolate chip cookie dough, freeze it and then dip the balls in melted chocolate.

Now I have a  freezer full of giant cookie dough balls dipped in chocolate and I’m panicking.  I need an adult.  I’m about to eat cookie dough for lunch, cookie dough for dinner, cookie dough for dessert, and then cookie dough again for second dinner.

Incidentally, if the blatant consumption of raw sugar and butter offends your sensibilities, perhaps you might be better suited with these Blueberry Applesauce Muffins or Low Fat Oatmeal Banana Bread.  And you’ll have to accept my sincere apologies for the ridiculousness of frozen cookie. and chocolate.  together.  forever.

Raw cookie dough.  Sooo dang good.

Now before anyone starts yelling about raw eggs and poison and disease, let me assure you that this dough has no raw eggs in it.  Instead, I used Greek yogurt as the binder.  You might also use applesauce or peanut butter if you don’t have thick yogurt on hand.

Here’s how this happened.  I made eggless cookie dough, scooped it up in generous portions on a waxed paper lined cookie sheet, stuck cute plastic forks in the dough and froze those suckers overnight.  The next morning I melted down some chocolate chips, dipped the frozen dough balls and returned them to the freezer.  Serve them right from the freezer… It’s sort of the best thing ever.

Now if you’ll excuse me… I can hear someone calling my name from the freezer.  It must be these dough balls.  It would be rude not to respond.

So… you know that part in Scent of a Woman… yes, hello, 1992…. when blind Al Pacino sniffs out pretty ladies… literally… and somehow worms his way into their good graces?  Have you seen Scent of a Woman staring Al Pacino and Chris O’Donnell?  Of course you have.

If blind Al Pacino were to sniff me out, I’m pretty sure I’d smell like these brownies.  This fact is both troubling and awesome.  Now I kinda want to reinact the tango scene.

To quell your puzzled looks, let me answer a few questions.  Yes… I just watched Scent of a Woman.  Yes… it was amazing.  Yes… I questioned my sanity.

I’m going to keep this short.  I have to go watch Curly Sue and learn a few card tricks.

These brownies seem like the exact right thing to be doing this time of year.

Super fudgy chocolate with nuts and campfire style toasted marshmallows.  Pretty perfect to bring to a summer party.  These brownies are an instant friend maker.

I do have a few pro-tips when it comes to this recipe.  Can I share them with you?

-  So you’ve baked the brownies, loaded the warm brownies up with marshmallows, turned on your broiler and you’re ready to toast your marshmallows?  Put them in the oven and stand there.  Do.  Not.  Walk.  Away.  Your brownies will set on fire before you know it.  It’s scary when you have to pull a pan that’s on fire out of the oven.  It’s really scary.

-  You’re going to need a sharp knife and hot running water to cut through these brownies.  The marshmallows might have a tendency to stick to the knife.  Run the blade under hot water until it’s clean after every slice you make.  That’ll ensure that your marshmallows stay where they belong.

Pro-tips.  I got em.

I’ve made a lot of brownie items around here over the last few years.

These be them:

Peanut Butter Blondies with Milk Chocolate Frosting

S’mores Brownies

aaaand.

Chocolate Brownie Cookies

Now…

It’s getting hot.  

You know what that means…. under-boob sweat.  

     Don’t look at me like that.  You know it happens to you too.

The only solution:  Ice Cream… and other things from the freezer.  Obvi.

Ice Cream Cupcakes?  Yes.  Brownie Bottom Ice Cream Cupcakes?  Fist pump.  Heck yes.

Mini Chocolate Dipped Bananas.  Slice the banana in half… you can once again eat these in public.  Just eat quickly.  

I ate an entire tray of Apple Pie Granita standing in front of my open freezer.  It’s just frozen juice.  It’s just totally amazing.  

Banana Pudding Ice Cream.  There are Nilla Wafers iiiinnnnn the ice cream.  Done deal, right?  

May I offer you a little hot fudge for that?  Yea, I thought so.  

The Super Citrus Smoothie.  It makes you stand up straight.  It makes your eyes widen.  It makes your hair look pretty.  Facts.  I like it!  

I’ve been struggling for the past few hours with what to tell you in conjunction with these Blackberry Pie Bars.

I thought maybe we could talk about how I’m still totally dragging my feet about going to my ten year high school reunion.  No… that’s been done.  Boring.

Maybe we could talk about how I sat around a campfire with Andrea Zuckerman… a character from that show Beverly Hills 90210, but that was actually just a dream I had last night.  Not real.

We could chat about the weather?  Seen any good movies lately?

No?  Ok… let’s not fight this.

Let’s get on to the bars.  They’re good.  Really good.  Good enough to not need a silly introduction.

Think of these bars as your escape from the land of pie baking.  Maybe you don’t need an escape, but let’s be honest… putting together a pie crust can be a pain in the rear sometimes.  Problem solved.  Just press this crust into the bottom of a pan, top it with creamy fruit filling, sprinkle it with more crust bits and you’re in business.

The result is pure summer blackberry goodness.  The recipe includes directions for either frozen or fresh fruit.  If you’re using frozen berries, just be sure to defrost the berries and drain the excess juices.  What about raspberries or blueberries instead of blackberries?  Those would probably work too!  Just stay away from strawberries.