My kitchen is clean.  It’s nearly spotless.

This is a huge problem.  This means I haven’t been cooking.

Wait.  That’s not to say that I haven’t been eating… because sweet Lord have I been eating.  I’ve been eating by the fistful.  Usually large bowls of pasta late at night.  Also, snacks.  A mean amount of snacks.  At midnight.

That makes them midnight snacks.

To make me feel better about myself… I’d like you to get on this midnight snack bandwagon as well.  Please… we’re in this together, right?

On the real… this is my midnight snacking life.

Kettle corn.  Dude.  Serious.

Hardboiled eggs with olive oil, salt, and coarsely ground pepper.

um…. Bourbon with Luxardo cherries.  Incredible.

Salty sunflower seeds.

Molasses Chocolate Chip Cookies.

and… Dark Chocolate Dipped Whole Wheat Sesame Pretzel Rods.

I can not wait to show you the project that has inspired all of this midnight snacking.  Soon!  Soon soon soon!

In other news,  I doodle ‘ i love u’.

I’m obsessed with pale mint green nail polish.

And… my cat is all fur.  Professional fluff.

Thank you for letting me say hello today.  I’ll be back shortly with a recipe for you.  If it’s a recipe for salad, please forgive me.  I need to eat something green.

I need you.   Did you know that?

I’ve had the shaky leg lately.  I’ve eaten waaaay too much popcorn in full-on fits of what can only be described as ‘nervous eating’.  I’ve more to-do lists than I care to admit.  I shouldn’t even mention this weird pacing and sweeping the floor habit that I have.

I think I’ve been a little anxious in the world.  Earthquakes. Taxes.  Tornadoes.  Bin Ladens.  I dunno.  I’m feeling it.

There’s this thing I do when I’m anxious… I try to make other people feel better.  Thinking about making other people feel good makes me feel good.  So!  I pick up a pen, bust out my box of stationary, and write letters.  I know how much I like to receive letters, and I feel compelled to pass on that sensation.

I know I’ve written a handful of you letters for my 30 Things Before 30 Years post, but I wanted to broaden my reach.  I want to write more of you.  Can I?

Here’s the deal:

Send your address, or the address of someone you think might really enjoy a handwritten (albeit entirely silly) letter.  I will, in all likelihood (and in due time) write you a letter.  If you receive a letter, please (please!) snap a quick photograph of you and said letter to email to me.  Deal?

I have a feeling I’m going to need to stock up on stationary.

Oh!  And I should mention that if you entrust your address to me, I will only use it for purposes of friendly letter writing… I won’t stalk you… although if I did stalk you, I’d probably bring cookies.  So.  You know.  Not so bad.

Email you mailing address to: joy the baker is my penpal (at) gmail (dot) com.  No spaces… silly.

Check your mail.

Ps.  I sometimes use crayons.  I’m one of the cool kids.

Pps.  Judging by the response so far… I’m really going to need additional stationery.

Ppps.  An update.  It’s been less than 24 hours, and I’ve received nearly 1,000 addresses.  I’m stoked.  I’m amazed.  I’m going to get a hand cramp.  I’ve written six letters so far.  Six.  Keep the addresses coming.  I love you.

I’ve been thinking all day about what I’d write tonight.

Should I write about the peacock I saw this weekend?  Should I tell you about how I was afraid of the peacock until I remembered that it is ostriches that are sometimes mean and not peacocks?  Yea… I’m smart.  Ostriches spit right?  No wait… that’s llamas.

Get me to a petting zoo.  Someone.  Please.

I’m afraid I don’t have any cookies to tell you about, or brownies to share.  I haven’t made soup, or scones, and I still have that Chicken Pot Pie in the fridge.

I’ve been busy busypants.  There are shoes all over my apartment.  Everywhere.  I think my cat might start eating them.

Instead of compiling a list of muffins I’ve already made, I just thought I’d be honest with you.

I’m working on a new project for you.  New project!!!!

My brain is everywhere.  My body is everywhere too… with my brain… but totally not with my brain.  I’m bonkers… that’s what I’m trying to tell you.

I’m working on this project with other people you might know from the Internet.  Tracy welcomed me into her home and let me shove a camera in her face.  She didn’t pretend to like it.  I didn’t really expect her to.

Whitney posed for pictures.  She’s a total natural.  Profesh.

Greg, Andy, and Nathan are super great to work with.  They feed me dinner and make me laugh.

I went all the way to Austin to work with Tsh.  Austin is full of cool people waiting to do cool things.  Makes sense.

Tsh is the most lovely of women.  She’s got the sparkle, and an amazing family.

All of this traveling…

and working…

has really worked a number on my sweet tooth.  I made this Easter candy centerpiece a few weeks back.

What on earth was I thinking!?  The kitten attacked the Peeps and I ate the rest of the candy.  I did.  I stress ate it all.  There may still be Peeps under my bed from kitten play.  I’m afraid to check.

In other news… got this foxyfox pin from a boy.  Maybe I’m obsessed.  No biggie.

Thanks for letting me be honest.  Well… halfway honest.  I still haven’t told you what I’m working on, have I?  Soon soon soon!  I’m comin’ at ya!

I have a few New Year’s resolutions.  I want to be better and do better… you know, easy stuff like that.  Do you have resolutions?  Be faster and stronger and cuter and smarter?  Cut down on the sugar?  Take Joy the Baker’s blog out of your feed?

Now waaaaaait a minute… before we do anything too brash.. I have a few New Year’s Resolution suggestions you might like to take into account.

Maybe you want to resolve to see more sky in 2011.  That could be nice.

Maybe you want to resolve to drink wine where they make wine.

2011.  It’s your year.  Get a kitten.

Take a road trip with your sister?  2011 seems like as good a year as any!

Resolve to find happiness in potatoes and eggs.

Read some books.  Drink some booze. Make friends.  Eat butter.  Enjoy cookies.

This is part of my resolution.  To be sure.

Watch people who are in love say nice things to each other, exchange rings and kiss.  Weddings.  Also… eat cake.

And if you’ve resolved to eat more salad… do it with your Dad at a salad bar.   Don’t skip the ranch dressing.

Happy New Year to you!  May this new year bring you all sorts of good things and happy surprises.

Love,

Joy

It seems like I’ve been exactly everywhere but my own kitchen this past week.  My oven is lonely and my kitten is pissed.

Let’s play a game.  I need your company with all of this airport time I’ve got on my hands.

Let’s play Ask Joy the Baker.

You leave a comment asking me dang near whatever you like.  I’ll respond to your question right there in the comment section.  Boom.  Instant gratification.

Go on…. ask me why I’m eating Chicharrones in Tracy’s parents’ guest bedroom at midnight.  Ask me if the boy I’m dating has longer hair than I do.  Ask me if I think you should move to Los Angeles.  Ask me what the capital of South Dakota is.  Ask me what Washington’s state bird is.  Ask me if I’ve ever met a clown.  Ask me why George Clooney has never asked me out on a date.  Ask me why I could watch Sean Connery in The Rock on a constant loop for seven weeks straight.  Or… ask me about cookies.  Whatever.

Yes.  I’ve sorta done this before.

Answers may sometimes be limited to statements like “huh!?”  ”no” “duh” or “let me google that for you”.

For a second I thought I might sit around my house this past weekend and wallow knee deep in self pity and other sorrows.  Sounds like fun, right?  A real riot.  

I thought better of it.  I kicked myself right in the pants and put on the biggest party dress I could find.  

Big party dresses are key to healing any of life’s little hiccups.  You think I’m kidding?  Put on a dress… you’ll feel way better.   

Know what else helps with life’s hiccups?  Bourbon.  Or wait…. does that cause the hiccups in the first place?  I’m not sure.  Jury is still out on that one.  

Big party dress, check.  Bourbon, check.  Country funk records spinin’ on the turntable, check.  One heck of an afternoon in the sun… success.  

Throw in my two best friends Whitney and Rachel.  Holy heckballs…. that was one fine weekend.  

Please note:  this post was just a shameless excuse to show you the fantastic vintage dress I wore this weekend.  If this dress or my unabashed love of bourbon and country funk music offends your sensibilities…. well… that’s a real shame.  You must admit though… it’s a pretty rad dress.  

Tomorrow we discuss pie bars.  It’s important.  Really important. 

Photographs by Marisa Q Photography

Friends,  

The truth is… I haven’t quite been able to get my act together since my move.

I’ve been trying to distract you with posts about my box grater.  I’ve been trying to distract you with candy giveaways…. but that’s all starting to feel a little silly.  

The fact of the matter is, my KitchenAid is still unplugged and my new oven needs a good scrubbing… and, I just ate a giant slice of store bought coconut cream pie.

Want to take a peek into my new space?  Suuuure you do… come on in!

My walls went from a super intense turquoise to a lovely shade of light blue/grey.  I also painted my concrete floors navy. No the edges aren’t perfect.  Nope.  That’s ok with me.  Daniel… you gave me edges with character.  I like you and I thank you.  

I painted my door navy too.  It’s now the sexiest door I’ve ever seen.  

I like big pillows.  I like a lot of big pillows.  

The ceilings in my loft are metal.  There are all sorts of metal beams and bars.  Perfect to offset my sparkly blue glass chandelier.  I feel pretty. 

I had a ridiculous amount of cookbooks to unpack.  

My tiny couch is blue.  My little rug is lime green… and yes, that’s a frog pillow.  That’s a frog pillow that I latch hooked a few years back.  I didn’t have many friends.  I was single.  I didn’t have a blog.  I latch hooked myself a pillow.  Don’t judge me. 

Asher was the shining star who helped me carry big, annoying things like mattresses and dressers all around… up and down.  I paid him in pearls.  Cheap, fake pearls.  God bless him.  

Thanks for being patient while I settle in.  I’ll be back with sweets real soon.  

I want caramel corn.  So… that’ll happen real quick  like. 

Bread.  Love.  Bread.  

I’m on a tiny bit of a vacation these days.  Tiny.  Seriously.  Also… I’m kinda still working, but that’s mostly because I can’t help myself.

While I’m away… sort of away, I want to show what I love.  Can I share a bit with you?

Here’s one thing!  I love that you can now sign up to get my rambling posts in your email inbox.  Kinda sweet, right?  Just drop your email in the little “subscribe me!” box to the left.  Oooooh technology.  You’re rad. 

Freya Art and Design.  I love her prints, like the one above.  Colorful and playfully designed with a touch of thoughtful innocence.  I dig it.  

I recently got an email from 12 year old Catherine in Nova Scotia.  Catherine.  Thank you for your email.  You’re super sweet and I wanna squeeze you till you squeak.  Seriously.  I’m glad you like the Old School Brownie recipe.  It’s a real winner…. so are you.

I have serious affection for Beckie of Movies of Myself.  Why?  Well… she’s hilarious and approachable and real.  Aaaand, she plays a huge part in determining my musical taste.  Thank you Beckie.  I wouldn’t sound even the least bit cool trying to talk about music without you.   You’ve got taste girl!

I think I would love love love this Zuni Cafe Cookbook.  I went to Zuni Cafe in San Francisco last weekend.  Holy Heck!  Their food is a dream, but really…. this Bloody Mary set my world right.  It was divine.

You know what I also like quite a bit?  You.  I’m thinking about doing another Ask Joy the Baker session…. ok, mostly because I’m terrible at responding to individual emails.  What do you think about that?

Coming this week:  Pancakes.  I ride a bike in clippy shoes… to be explained.  And Ask Joy the Baker- burning questions answered.

> 

I think it’s important that you all know something about what comes out of my kitchen:  it ain’t all pretty folks.  Not every creation that comes out of my kitchen is pretty, polished and ready for its blog debut.  The reality is that I have my fair share of flops, dropped eggs, burned butter and dirty dishes… I just don’t usually show those kitchen tidbits with you.  Tricky, right?

Today is your lucky day.  Here’s a peek at the flops, disasters and otherwise icky recipes I’ve tried and trashed.  

Chilled Blueberry Soup.  Ok, seriously.  Who are you trying to fool?  This was just an elaborate recipe for blueberry juice.  You tricked me and I resent you Blueberry Soup.  This won’t be soon forgotten.

Low Fat Chocolate Mousse with tofu.  I think I over whipped the eggs with this little darling.  It was so thick and tough   just all around noooooooot cute.

Greek Yogurt Frozen Yogurt.  I wanted to love you, but holy heck you were thick and rich.  Too thick.  Too rich.

This Nectarine Cobbler overflowed… big time… while I was one the phone.  There was screaming and cursing… mostly because I should have known better.

You were supposed to be a fresh peach scone.  Instead you decided to be a bland peach cookie… that’s just not good enough.

Ooooh Cinnamon Rolls.  You didn’t fail me.  I love you.

Chocolate Chip Potato Chip Cookies.  I must have eaten a cool dozen of these cookies trying to decide if they were good or not.  I knew with each cookie that they were absolute rubbish.  Bleck. 

Apricot Scones. Flat and beige Apricot Scones.  Note to self:  figure out how to make scones.  Seriously, how have you not mastered this yet Joy?

Avocado Milkshake.  Boooooring picture plus do not like.  The photo and taste gods were not with me on this day.  For this, and for all of these recipes that I tried and failed.. well, I suppose I just have to shrug my shoulders and laugh you off.  Thanks for the lessons… and the memories?

Have you seen the newest Food & Wine magazine?

It’s a good one, made even better if you have a Sharpie marker and a couple of giggly girlfriends around.

It’s all about the best new chefs of 2009.  It’s about dudes (plus one ladydude) that are young, hip and magic in the kitchen… like Vinny Dotolo (bottom left with glasses) and Jon Shook (bottom middle with a heart drawn on his shirt) of a restaurant called Animal in Los Angeles.

Animal is the kind of place that turns lamb tongue into something I might actually consider eating… and enjoying.  They also work wonders with chicken liver and rabbit loin.  On the real.

My only concern is… well… only one awesome lady chef this year Food & Wine?  Really?

I suggest you get this months issue.  Also get a marker… maybe a glass of wine too.  It’s Friday, do it up right.