There’s something about a giant stack of waffles topped with butter, powdered sugar, and maple syrup that puts me in an un-fightable, resistance resistant, afternoon coma.  That really… and I mean reeeeaaalllyyy pisses off the workaholic in me.  She hates napping.  The waffle-aholic in me?  Well… obviously she thinks her workaholic counterpart should just chill  the heck out.

I’ve tried to appease both sides of my w-aholics… and it’s not about trading waffles for spelt toast.  No…  that just can’t happen.

Switch up the waffle!  Make it a savory dream!  Top it with salsa and an egg!  This way my waffle-aholic self gets all of her warm waffle goodness. and my workaholic self doesn’t need a resentful nap.  Take note.

Please tell the waffle-aholic within you that this dish is supreme for either breakfast or dinner.

Savory waffles are IT!

Here’s what you’ll need:

A waffle iron.  I know… I know… what a pain.  There’s really no other way to make waffles though.  Perhaps you could turn this dish into savory pancakes… but it’s not quite the same.  Waffle iron.  It’s a splurge!!

Cornmeal gives these waffles a really wonderful crunch.  I used a more coarse cornmeal.  Bite!

Chives and parsley kick up the flavor of these waffles. Subtle onion and herb.  It’s perfect.

Black pepper!  Coarse and generous.

Salsa and eggs!  Cook up and egg and top it off with salsa.

With these few ingredients, I swear you’ll feel like you’re doing everything right.

This batter is beautifully thick and subtly flavored.

Cornmeal and scallions mysteriously take things from ok to uh-mazing.

You might choose, as I did, to enjoy these waffles with a friend, on a front porch, under a gloomy grey sky, on a slightly chilly weekend morning.

Or!  Or or or… you could plop down in from of the television and watch reruns of Law and Order SVU.

OR!  You could eat them standing in your kitchen, trying to get your cat to stop sticking his face in the open waffle iron.

I usually opt for the later option.  That’s just how I choose to live… or something.

I don’t have one single recipe memorized.

Actually wait…. I have the recipe for a Bourbon and Ginger Ale memorized.  That’s two ingredients.  That doesn’t really count.

I don’t have one single baking recipe set to memory.  Not my Dad’s Buttermilk Biscuit recipe.  Not my favorite pancake recipe.  Not the best Creme Fraiche Quiche ever.  None of those are in my brain.

What I do have in my brain is:  my best friend’s parents’ phone number, from 1988, the license plate number for my first car, and every single lyric to Blues Traveler’s “Hook”.

Wwwwhhhhyyyyy?

Can we erase these three useless pieces of information, and replace them with:  a buttermilk biscuit recipe, the quadratic equation, and something awesomely conversational… like the lifespan of the beluga whale.  That would be better, don’t you think?

Waffles for two.

You know… just like every day in your house, right?

I know.  Me neither.  It’s just that… sometimes you need to make Tuesday special.

Maple syrup helps tremendously.

In real life, it was waffle for three, right next to the front door with lots of natural light.  Whatevs.

You know that feeling….

When you’re on a brunch date, you arrive at a restaurant, and the hostess tells you that the wait is going to be 20 minutes…

And you think aloud to your date…’ok, great… let’s take a quick stroll around the block’… and you two take a quick stroll around the block.

It’s sunny and it’s Sunday and everything seems lovely…

Until you get back from your 18 minute stroll and check in with the hostess to find out that your wait time has increased in your absence… to like… an hour!!!

And your heart sinks.  And you want coffee.  And you really want some eggs.  And your kinda want to kick the hostess in the knee cap.

But you’re with a date.  You’re with a brunch date…. so you just sit with it.  You just sit with the wait time.  And you don’t complain.  And you try not to think about coffee.  And you try not to glare at the patrons already enjoying their eggs… those jerks.  And you just wait.  And wait.  And wait.

And then your brunch date finds the random rogue hair that sometimes grows out of your chin.  You call it your old lady hair.  And you’re usually really good about plucking your one old lady hair… but you misplaced your tweezers and your old lady hair got out of control… And you’ve waited so long for breakfast that your date has taken to intently staring at your face and has spotted your old lady hair…

And now you have to have a really awkward conversation about your old lady hair and all you want to do is dig a whole in the ground and crawl into it… And you curse that stupid hostess (who probably isn’t that stupid) for making you wait for your eggs so long that your old lady hair has been spotted.

DANGIT!

And you keep your hand on your chin for the rest of the date.

You know that feeling?  Yea… me too.

Let’s avoid that this weekend.  Make brunch for someone.

And keep your rogue old lady chin hair in check.  For your health.  For your dating health.

I can not believe I just told you about my rogue old lady chin hair.

This is totally embarrassing.

Perhaps I can distract you with these Cornmeal Molasses Pancakes.  They were really tasty.

This Crustless Quiche had spinach and blue cheese and walnuts.

How’s that for fancy!?

I want to marry these cinnamon rolls.  I already have the dress.

…. Stop looking at me like that.

There’s cream cheese!  In the cinnamon rolls!

Wait… did that picture of cinnamon rolls make you feel fat?

Me too.

Have a smoothie.  I’m going to.

And while we’re in the kitchen making that smoothie… how about some 30 Minute Croissants?

There go our healthy thoughts… right out the window again.

Hm…

You might consider turning these Cheddar Black Pepper Biscuits into egg sandwiches.

That’s a good idea.

It’s up to you.

Get your brunch on… but don’t you dare wait in line for it.

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Please.  Take a few moments to dig through your kitchen cabinets to find your waffle maker.  Please do this.  I’ll wait.

….. There?  Find it?

Now.  Please.  These waffles need to be made now, tonight, first thing tomorrow morning, or whenever you get hungry… now?  They’re that good.

I need to go wash my hair.  That’s not a euphemism for anything.  I really need to wash my hair.  By the time I come back, I hope you’ve preheated that old waffle machine.