A Heart to Heart… Seriously, I might cry.

Can I share something with you?

I’ve been feeling a little lost lately.

I think this whole new blog has left me feeling turned around and upside down.

Let me explain.  I want to take you back to the humble beginnings of Joy the Baker.

See that picture up top?  That’s my first site.  Oooh me Oooh my.  Pretty precious, right?  I set this site up  two years ago so I could start selling wedding cakes and wholesale baked yummies to coffee shops.  I played the wholesale and wedding cake game for a hot minute.  I chugged along on my own for a few months before it became clear that food costs and kitchen expenses made it hard for me to even break even.  That’s when I started working in other bakeries and restaurants.  Phew.  That was relief.

Then a magical thing happened.  It really did feel like magic.  I discovered food blogs.  It’s like fireworks went off in my head… as silly as that sounds.  Stories plus pictures plus recipes… plus you just get to be yourself at every moment!?  Holy heck!  In!  I wanted in!

Here are some of my very first food photos, taken when I was working as the Head Baker at a tiny bakery in Burbank.  These shots?  Taken on my camera phone at 4:30 in the morning.  You think I’m kidding.  I’m totally not kidding.  That’s some good glisten on those cinnamon rolls, right?  Thank you camera phone macro mode!

Want to see my first post?  Ha!  I know it’s around here somewhere.  Here!

Above is one of the first pictures I took with a fancy camera, a Canon 40D.  I propped an Ikea lamp up in the background… that’s what is creating that yellowish glow.  Not exactly ideal, I now know.

Can  I just say… I was beyond mortified when I discovered that someone had found my blog and left a lovely comment in the days that followed my first post.

Mortified.

The thought of someone finding this space and reading my words absolutely terrified me.

But it didn’t terrify me enough to actually stop posting, and posting, and posting… and posting… and posting some more.

So here I am… almost two years later, still working a day job, cooking, blogging, throwing picnics for hundreds of people like you, and introducing a whole new look with loads of new content into my space.

Can I be honest?  That’s what we do here, right?

This whole redesign is a big, scary thing for me.  Many, many months ago I thought I might like to start a separate blog… one about my silly life and all the silly things I do.  I then thought… ‘Hey!  Why not put my food and my life all together into one big ol’ fun site!?’.

Here we are many months later, I’ve hired designers and fired designers.  I’ve begged coders to meet deadlines and battled hosting companies to get where I am today.  It feels like I’ve built a house, then set it on fire… then had it built all over again… but, really… less dramatic than that and without the fire.

I’ve gone from taking pictures with my camera phone to running an entire site and keeping up with designers and coders and hosting and CSS and CPM and IE6 compatibility and… DUDE!  This mess is complicated!!!  Bourbon.  Where is the Bourbon?  Also doughnuts.  I need doughnuts!

Am I whining?  I’m totally pouting right now, aren’t I?

It’s just that sometimes things become far more than you expected… even when you’re trying to expect them.

I’m telling you all this… I’m showing you where I’ve come from and showing you how we’re right at the beginning of where we’re going, because I have an unreasonable desire to share with you the overwhelming, scary and totally exciting nature of this endeavour.  Oooh Internet, how you fussy up my emotions sometimes.

So we’re in this together right?  I couldn’t have nearly as much fun with this space if you weren’t here to share it with me.

Thanks for being here for as long as you have… even if it’s only for the past two minutes.  Thanks for adjusting to all this change I’ve thrown at you.

Thanks for being patient as I get my footing here, yell at my hosting company, recharge the batteries on my camera…. and do some freakin’ dishes.

And hey!  Let me know what’s working for you here… and what makes you sorta wanna yell and scream (in a bad way).  You matter.  I’m listening, unless it has anything to do with my use of the ‘…’, then I’m not really listening.   Holla back.