There are only three reason why I would rip the shirt off my body in public:
1. If a kitten were on fire and I needed to smother him, put him out, cuddle him, give him food, and make him mine forever.
2. If I discovered a bee… a ferocious, man-eating bee, down my shirt.
3. If a handsome young fireman needed my shirt to wipe his sweaty brow after saving a grandmother and her fluffy orange cat from the top of a burning tree. But even then… I’d make the fireman take his shirt off first. I have standards.
Yesterday, I ripped my shirt off in a spazzy, screaming fit on Main Street in Santa Monica. There was no kitten nor fireman in sight. There was a bee down my shirt. A live bee… buzzing down my shirt. Standing in front of a bike shop and across the street from a busy cafe, I full on FREAKED OUT and tore my shirt off my body. There was also FREAK OUT screaming involved. Then I spent another agonizing ten seconds trying to brush the bee off my body with the shirt I was supposed to be wearing.
Then I was just standing there… on the street… shirtless… in my ugly bra… the one that looks like my grandma’s sprotsbra. I just stood there, holding my shirt and staring squarely at the ground… at the bee struggling to walk away… at the bee that had rendered me shirtless. I knew that if I looked up from the ground I would be mortified times one million.
As I’m struggling with the sleeves, trying to get my shirt back on… I see a pair of feet stroll past me. I didn’t see one of those red tipped seeing eye sticks, so this person was clearly a seeing person. A witness. Ok. Carry on.
My sleeves were all wonky, I couldn’t button my shirt inside out. I was a hot mess… so I had to take my shirt off (again!) invert the spazzy sleeves and put my shirt back on. That’s twice that I’ve taken my top off… Enough!
I never did look up from the ground. I never did blush. I did, however, want to dig a whole through the concrete and tunnel home instead of putting my shirt back on and riding home. But that’s just what I did. And if anyone was pointing and laughing… well, I guess I can’t blame them. I was quite the site.
Lessons were learned. Always wear a cute bra.
In more important news, I made a lovely lemon cake.
Let me tell you about it… it’ll distract me from the humiliation.
This lemon cake is simple and unassuming. It’s combined with cornmeal and baked up in a cast iron skillet. It’s sort of like hearty Southern cornbread meets dainty lemon tea cake. The cake is topped with sweet lemon glaze while it’s still warm, and the sweetness seeps into the cake itself.
What the name of this cake doesn’t tell you is that is has browned butter in it. See? We’re friends for life.
This is not a fancy pants dessert… that’s why I call it a breakfast cake. Breakfast cakes don’t wear their pearls to the table… obvi.
Lemon Cornmeal Breakfast Cake
makes one 9-inch cake
recipe adapted from Bon Appetit, April 2009
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup yellow cornmeal
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
2 large eggs
1 tablespoons lemon zest
1/2 cup (1 stick) plus one tablespoons unsalted butter, melted until browned then cooled slightly
Lemon Glaze:
1 1/2 cup powdered sugar
3 to 4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F.
In a 9 or 10-inch cast iron skillet, melt butter over medium heat until browned and fragrant. Use a potholder to grab onto the cast iron and carefully tilt back and forth so the melted butter greases the sides of the pan. Remove browned butter from the cast iron to cool, and set the buttery cast iron aside. That’s what we’re going to bake the cake in!
If you don’t have a cast iron skillet, simply butter and flour a 9-inch round cake pan. Set aside. Brown the butter in a skillet over the stove top and incorporate into the recipe just the same.
In a large bowl, whisk together flour, cornmeal, sugars, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a small bowl, carefully whisk together eggs, buttermilk, lemon zest and butter. Add the wet ingredients, all at once, to the dry ingredients and fold together with a spatula. Fold until very few lumps remain. Pour batter into the prepared buttered pan and place in the oven.
While the cake bakes, whisk together powdered sugar and lemon juice for the glaze. Set aside.
Bake for 30 minutes or until a skewer inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool for 10 minutes. Use a skewer or the tines of a fork to poke holes in the bake. Sporadic holes here and there will do. Pour over the glaze, spread evenly and let rest for about 30 minutes before serving. This cake will last for up to 4 days, well wrapped, at room temperature.
Holly B @ Recipes from a Normal Mum
There’s a cake you can eat for breakfast? Legitimately? I’m already making it…
Kim
Lesson learned: always wear a cute bra… This cake looks sooo good!
DessertForTwo
Oh my gosh, you poor thing! Not to laugh at your expense, but I’ve been up since 3am for a flight and your post is the only thing that could put a smile on my face.
So I’ve definitely had bees down by shirt before. I was in Costa Rica, standing in the middle of a river doing water sampling. In front of 10 male scientist, I ripped my shirt off and ran towards the shore. They all doubled over laughing, telling me to calm down because the bees were only biting bees, not stinging bees. Um, it still hurt. A lot.
Have a good day, Joy! Try to forget about this! :)
jcl
Oh, NOW I see the temp. Giggle! Thanks, Joy!!
JCL
Joy-You make me laugh early in the morning. That’s why this is my fave blog! I am baking this cake RIGHT NOW for my kids…then break the news to them that they have to do Saturday chores today. Going to take a wild guess and bake @350…. Thanks for the laughs and the recipes~I am feeling your pain!
Meg H.
Now, Joy, where was the fireman to take off his shirt to save you?? I wouldn’t have looked up either. I had my dress blow over my head once while walking in downtown Boston – believe I was wearing granny pants. I was tempted to jump in the harbor. But a big piece of this cake would make the world right again. Digging out the skillet now . . .
Jennifer Jo
That was a great story, Joy. Thanks for the laugh.
Katrina
HAHAHAHA amazing story!! I’ve never had to take my shirt off in public thank goodness, but if a bee were down my shirt I would do exactly what you did.
This cake would sure make me feel better. Mmmm.
Phoo-d
Lol, oh Joy. I can so imagine this because it happened to my mom when she was driving our old 1970’s motor home down the freeway when I was a kid. The small triangle window flap was open on the driver’s side and a big bee hit it just right and flew straight down my mom’s shirt. She yelled, screeched to a stop on the side of the freeway, ran out the driver’s door and ripped her shirt off with cars and trucks flying by. I do believe a trucker or two honked as they went past. =) I can still see her standing there freaking out, shirtless, by the side of the freeway.
Mary
Is that ice cream on top of the cake, or whipped cream in the picture at the top?
Lori @ Girl Meets Oven
Love your story… and the cake recipe. Honey would have been another great addition to the recipe… in honor of the bee :)
Victoria from London
Yeah, payback time.
Joy, I so loved your honesty and your great storytelling. When my now-husband first stayed a weekend at my parents’ home, my Dad kept bees. My husband has curly hair and while he was with Dad in the garden, he felt a bee crawl into his hair. The bee was apparently regretting his choice. T ran uncontrollably down the path towards me, yelling like a lunatic. That was when Dad boomed out, ‘don’t panic, they only sting you if they’re trapped.’
I think we are proving that we are not responsible for our actions in a bee encounter!
Have a great weekend.
Lauren at Keep It Sweet
OMG, well as long as you didn’t get stung then it had to be worth it!
Aveen
Oh dear… I’m so sorry, but this made me laugh. A LOT.
The cake looks gorgeous though, and cake for breakfast is always a good thing.
Panya
I’m allergic to bees, so I was conditioned from an early age to remain calm and move slowly when a bee is spotted. One time when I was about eight I was drinking Kool-Aid from an insulated travel mug — the kind with a plastic lid with a hole on one side to drink from — and when I took a drink I felt a bee grab onto my tongue. Seriously, I felt all six of its legs holding on [it’s 20 years later & I still remember what that felt like… it’s NOT pleasant]. I spit it out and Kool-Aid went all over the kitchen table. I screamed and screamed. Evidently the bee had crawled into the hole to drink. To this day I still don’t drink from cups with opaque lids.
Sarah
I think I’m jealous that the state you are in you only had one shirt on- so therefore only had to take one layer off. If this had happened where I live in Maine I would have had to take off my bulky vest, jacket, sweatshirt, long sleeve shirt, and then kill the bee. But even then there wouldn’t be any bees cuz its SO FREAKING COLD!
So there’s always a bright side- at least you live where it’s warm- i might even go shirtless for a whole day if it would just magically be warm here.
I am glad that your experience led you to make this amazing cake. Ill make it this weekend!