There’s something happening in my email inbox. I’ve gotten lots… and I mean LOTS of emails from you about what to bake for boys.
Boys in the dorm room down the hall from you, boys that you work with, boys that live far away from you, boys boys boys.
You people are crushin’ hard. I like this. I say thumbs-up. I say dive in, head first!… as long as you’re not diving into the shallow end, and you’ve waited an hour after eating, and you’re wearing your floaties… other than that… dive in!
Or just slip n slide it… but go for it. It’s Spring, why not love somebody!?
You come to me with your boy and baking questions… you know I’m no expert, right? I mean… clearly. I’ve addressed this issue before, but I think it’s worth revisiting. I’d like to answer all of you boy/baking questions in one fell swoop (I love that expression. It makes me feel like Braveheart… but prettier).
Ship these Oatmeal Pecan Chocolate Chip Cookies to a boy that you like that’s far away. Cool these cookies completely. Wrap in plastic wrap. Place in a zip lock bag and package in a shoe box (scratch off the shoe size if you have gigantic feel like I do). Stuff with tissue and other packing supplies. Include note that says something to the effect of: hey. obviously I like you… like a lot. I baked you cookies and shipped them to you in a box that I decorated with crayon-drawn hearts. Ask me on a proper date. Like a gentleman. Please bring flowers. Love, (your name)
For a boy that you work with… brownies.
Add peanut butter and pretzels. That boy will think you’re a genius. If he doesn’t, he’s a nutcase and you should stand clear. In the very least, your boss will probably love them and give you all the days off you’ve requested. True fact.
Boys in school probably want something that their mama used to make. What do you think about this apple crisp? Too much? How do you show up at a boy’s doorstep with a tray of apple crisp? That might be awkward.
Maybe you should stick with banana bread. Wrap it up nice. A little bow doesn’t hurt. Don’t tell him it’s vegan. That’s none of his dang business… unless he’s actually a vegan, then he’ll probably want to make-out with you. No biggie.
Lunch date? Hm… is he too cheap to buy dinner? Chocolate chip cookies.
… and there’s nothing wrong with a lunch date, unless the guy is a jerk… then there’s everything wrong with a lunch date.
Dinner date? That’s more like it. Brown Butter Blueberry Muffins. He can have them the next morning for breakfast. It’s a nice touch. Do not, however, offer to spend the night and share your breakfast gift. Not classy. Keep it (classy).
He’ll think of you the next morning… and he will text. He’ll also tell his mom about you. I promise.
A boy wants to bake with you!? Holy cow. He must like you. Or he’s a pastry chef and he wants to show off… which also means that he must like you. Make doughnuts. Make something with yeast. You’ll both get your hands dirty, you’ll have time to chat while the dough rises, you’ll see how he deals with stress. If he protects you from hot frying oil… that’s a nice touch. And if the doughnuts totally fail (which they won’t because he’s a secret pastry chef), then you can just shrug your shoulders and go out for french fries.
Yea… I’ve got it all planned out for you.
Want to make him fall in love with you? Careful with this one…. don’t go throwing these dishes around.
Shrimp and Grits. Cheddar Black Pepper Biscuits. Biscuit Pot Pie.
This is boy food. Careful. They won’t even know what hit em.
Now go put some love and sugar in the world. Knock em dead.
I love you.
Love,
Joy
Jenny
This is too funny!!! I love it and totally am going to try some!!
Dee
I can’t be the only one who wants to see a Joy the Baker cookbook, entitled, Boy Bait…….
joythebaker
i, too, want to see that cookbook.
Amy L Butler
Awesome post! I’m married and want to make all of this for my husband! Unfortunately he wouldn’t eat much of it, but that means there’s more for me! Who knows, I might even share with our girls (ages 6 and 1) or friends and family. Thanks for sharing!
sherri lynn
So last night I made your Oatmeal Pecan Chocolate Chip Cookies. umm they are to DIE FOR!!! And I did make them for a boy – my husband :)
carrie
I’m pretty sure you’re the sweetest thing on the Internet, in human form.
Nic@Daydreamaboutfood
Got to try these peanut butter and pretzel brownies. Thanks for the great post :)
Amanda
Dear Joy,
I’ve been checking your blog daily, but this is my first time commenting. I just wanted to say that this post broke my heart. Ok, it wasn’t the post… the heart was already broken and, because of that, the post has touched me very deepily, so i thought I’d let you know. It’s sad, I know, but it’s also kinda beautiful.
Best
Aleah
I already have a secret plan to make your apple crisp for my fiancee for fathers day this year. We are getting married in September and he has had to deal with me banning all of our treats from the house in order to fit into my dress, which is already bought, hanging in my closet, and not zipping 3 inches.
Oh sweet sweet butter and sugar, I have missed you. I pine for fathers day and an excuse to put on my apron and bring a smile to my family’s face with your goodness.
Thanks for the smiles, today and always Joy!
Brie
This post is fantastic! Thank you for all the smiles.
Jessica
I just love this posting and I enjoy reading your blog each week. Thanks for your wonderful sense of humor and baking and cooking inspiration.
Marie
I actually almost emailed you last week with a”baking for a boy” question! I need to bake something for my *sort of* boyfriend’s birthday that will survive a 2-day trip to Massachusetts AND impress his mom. I’ve got some ideas…
Great post, Joy!
Chelsea
awesome list, thanks Joy! I do sometimes wonder that too. Here’s my story about my current boyfriend: on our first date I brought him a cream cheese brownie. But it was dark and on the way over, the brownie at some point rolled off of the plate in the passenger seat of my car, so I showed up on his doorstep holding an empty plate with a few crumbs on it, and didn’t realize what happened until later. At which point I rescued the brownie, and we put it in the microwave and ate it, and lived happily ever after. the end.
ladies, bake for your boys!
Linnea
I might have to make those muffins (not saying that my boy is taking me on a dinner date or that I will be with him the next morning). Classy.
psst. I love the line One Fell Swoop too Joy! Its the name of one of my favourite CDs. I’d say you should search for it.