You know what’s weird? Getting older. I think it must be weird for everyone.
I’m celebrating a birthday this weekend. The big 32. That just sounds strange. I was just getting used to 30, but I feel like I’m 26. Somewhere. Somehow. The numbers feel off.
I’m not the kind of person who has life goals set for each year of life. I don’t feel behind in the marriage game. I can barely handle babysitting. I’m not trying to reach the top of the baking ladder… that just sounds sticky. I subscribe to the idea that working really hard and loving people better every day will get me where I want to be each day, week, month and year. Too loose a plan? I dunno. It feels right. It requires a lot of ever-changing lists…but it feels right.
Oh, also!
I don’t make myself a birthday cake and blog about it. Birthday cake doesn’t taste as good if you make it for yourself. It’s a thing. This year I’m going to eat as many doughnuts as my heart desires. This will probably fall in the 2 to 8.5 range… I’ll let you know where I land. Ps. My dream birthday cake is this Angel Food Cake with Vanilla Strawberries. Hint (Dad, do you still read my blog?) Hint.
Every year I make a list of things I’ve gained perspective on, and a list of things that I’m still stubbornly trying to figure out. The list is as shallow as selfies and as deep as God… because that’s exactly how life is. On the real. On the reg.
This Is That: a list
(by ‘you’ I mean ‘me’, always.)
ONE: Have honest friendships. You really can’t afford to be friends with someone who will let you have spinach in your teeth all night. You’re not that graceful.
TWO: Take as many selfies as it takes for everyone to look good in the picture. Come on… common courtesy.
THREE: You only need one good purse… and it doesn’t have to be this season’s super expensive impossible bag. Come on… a vintage Coach bag that you’ve brought back to life with leather polish is totally IT!
FOUR: Upon entering ‘the club’ where people are drinking and dancing and acting a fool (and it’s so much fun), be aware of the fact that you look like you’re in your 30’s… because you are. You’re not fooling anyone. The 25 year old guy that yells in your ear that you look 28… he’s being nice and he’s a liar. You look 32. It’s ok. Dazzle him with your awkward dance moves. He’s 25… who cares (not you!).
FIVE: You glorify being busy …but you don’t know how to stop. Maybe admitting it helps? Realtalk: You know what you should be glorifying. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with God.
SIX: Any tiny annoyance you have before two martinis will be a big yell-y ISSUE after two martinis. Think/Re-think those martinis.
SEVEN: CAPS LOCK LIVING! Think about it.
EIGHT: You’re actually really cool. Not because anyone else thinks you are, but because you think you are. The secret to being cool: just think it true. Others will follow suit.
NINE: Rappers rap about some stooooopid stuff that you, as a classy lady, do not need to be/concern yourself with. Pfffft. In their dreams. Can ladies start rapping about men with passion, integrity, a job, and nice shoes? Yea…. it’s like that.
TEN: Ask yourself ‘just who the heck do you think you are?’ in a very non-rhetorical way every once in a while. The answer is important.
ELEVEN: It doesn’t matter what size the clothing label says, it only matters that it feels good and falls well on your body. AKA… you’re not that size anymore, kick it up a notch, it’s cool, love your thighs. GEEZ!
TWELVE: When in doubt (which is often): confetti and champagne.
THIRTEEN: Go on a roller coaster at least once a year because they make you laugh-scream like nothing else on the planet.
FOURTEEN: Tell your parents that you’re glad they’re your parents. They’ll be like ‘Whaaaat!? That’s a crazy thing to say!’, but they’ll feel it in their hearts and probably buy you lunch. Do it because you mean it… not for the free lunch.
FIFTEEN: Chill out. Halle Barry is pregnant.
SIXTEEN: It’s ok to say things like ‘I don’t know.’. It’s waaaay better than arguing a point when you’re not on solid ground.
SEVENTEEN: What does it look like to dig deep every day? It looks exhausting, and kinda terrifying, and kinda like the best days that ever happened day after day after day.
EIGHTEEN: Get good at a thing and never apologize for being good at that thing. It’s all yours.
NINETEEN: Never trust someone who refers to themselves a ‘tastemaker’. Don’t be fooled. You won’t be bossed.
TWENTY: Give more, even when you think you have nothing to give… you do! Sidenote: I bought myself a Giving Key and I’m sponsoring another child with Compassion for my birthday. Yes… selfie birthday presents.
TWENTY ONE: You have a story to tell. Everyone does! Tell it proud!
Happy Birthday to Us! We all have one, and I’m glad that we do!
Other times I wrote words:
On Turning TwentyOne + What It’s Really Like + I Accidentally Saw a Picture of You + Thirty Years of Learning
sprinkle image credit Paola Parsons
diva joy next to a bike image credit Whitney Adams
Heather Williams
Happy Belated Birthday Joy!!! We share the same Birthday week. I love your blog and recipes. I hope this year is amazing for you.
H
Anchary Ann
i know that this is late, but i just read this post and i love it! i just turned 32 this year too and i’m with you on your “list”.. it’s funny how as we get older and more comfy in our own skin, you realize the simplest things and it just feels right (say it loud, say it proud!). happy belated birthday! and i’m totally with you on numero doce.. confetti and champagne (and oysters!)
ellie
You are a lovely inspiration! Thanks for the pep talk.
Jess
Joy, you bring me joy. No, seriously. You and your sage words lift me up every time I feel like life just ain’t going my way (like when the love of my life and I broke it off. again. three days before my 31st birthday. I feel you.) and they compound my delight when the world is bright and sunny and things are going swimmingly. Your talents in the cooking realm are obvious, but you’re also amazingly good at reminding your loyal readers how to love life. And not just love it in a cliched Hallmark sort of way, but really love the shit out of life, squeezing every last drop of deliciousness and wonderment and unbridled glee out of every minute. You exude it. Thank you for managing to break through the impersonal bounds of the cold computered internets and bring genuine warmth to every one of your readers.
Happy birthday to us. This is going to be the best and tastiest year ever.
Mandy Rye
This is fantastic! I rarely read read all the blogs I follow because lets be honest I really just like pretty pictures. But this, this honest birthday note was fantastic. I just turned 33 and totally feel you on the numbers don’t add up, and yay for your giving key (i still have mine, the hubs gave his away last year) and we also sponsor kids through Compassion! #greatminds. Anyway, loved this and happy birthday!
xo Mandy @ Waiting On Martha
Jennifer
I really love lists but yours is especially great! I picked some of your goals and made them my own now ;-) Thanks for sharing and happy belated birthday!
megan
Happy Belated Birthday, Joy!! You are an inspiration to all (I really mean that). xox Megan