I moved from Los Angeles to Burlington, Vermont when I was eighteen years old. I decided, with all of my eighteen years of wisdom, that I didn’t want to rush off to college, and that instead… I would rush off to scoop ice cream for Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream in Vermont.
Brilliant!
From my bedroom, safe within the walls of my parents’ house, I was so certain of so many things. I would sit on my bed at night and pat myself on the back for the courage innate in my decision to move across the country. I felt bold and sure. It’s so easy to be bold and sure when you’re parents are sitting in the next room.
I packed my bags, boarded a plane to New Hampshire, boarded a bus to Vermont, put my feet on the ground and proceeded to f.r.e.a.k o.u.t. My parents weren’t in the next room. I wasn’t surrounded by a binding support system. What do you mean I have to pay my own light bills!? This is thoroughly confusing and 100% terrifying.
Shortly after landing in Vermont, my trusty eighteen years of experience quickly began to falter. Obviously.
A new friend was kind enough to let me stay in her small and charming Burlington apartment while she stayed with her girlfriend. She gave me a key, a tour of her collection of Dave Matthews and Ella Fitzgerald CDs and I closed the door on the big scary world I felt totally ill-prepared for.
Over the course of a week in my new surroundings I didn’t leave the house. Not once. Nope! Are you kidding? Outside was filled with strangers! Instead of exploring, I ate every last bit of food my host had in her cabinets. She had just gone apple picking, I remember. If she was hoping to make apple sauce upon her return, she was sore out of luck.
I ate a lot of apples. I took a lot of baths. I listened to waaaay too much Dave Matthews Band. I searched for that bravery I had previously been so proud of.
I found that courage eventually… mostly because I had only eaten apples for a week and I needed a sandwich. Hunger drove me out. Stepping off the porch and into the streets of Burlington felt big. Like I was alone in a thing and I had to learn how to make it work… and also manage figure out how to learn some things and have some fun.
With the thirty-two years of experience I have now, stepping out of the door in a new place isn’t as hard. It’s mostly dang exciting. Thank goodness years come with little bits of wisdom.
Still though… a few days ago I found myself hibernating here in New Orleans. For a few moments I could feel the strangeness of the ground below my feet. I understand that feeling now and try to make it more energizing than frightening.
All of this is to say that, in the strangeness… when I was trying to find my courage over my fear, I reached for a jar and stirred two things together. Sometimes the small things help to distract the mind.
Megan Gordon has some wonderfully simple instructions for infused honey in her new book Whole Grain Mornings. I reached for a vanilla bean and a jar of honey and this is the culmination of those efforts.
Small and big. It’s all allowed.
This honey is equal parts simple and decadent. I used a thick raw honey, warmed it just slightly and stirred in vanilla bean seeds. This honey is supreme is black breakfast tea or afternoon coffee. I also plan of spreading it onto peanut butter slathered toast.
Here we are and here we go!
Vanilla Honey
makes 1 cup
1 cup honey
1 vanilla bean, split
Place honey in a small saucepan over very low heat.
Split a vanilla bean lengthwise down the center and scrape out the seeds. Place the seeds into the warming honey and stir to incorporate.
Use the vanilla bean pod for Homemade Vanilla Extract or just toss it into your sugar jar for extra special sugar.
Allow the honey to warm slightly, but not boil. We just want to warm it to thoroughly incorporate and help bring out the flavors of the vanilla. Remove from heat and transfer to a small jar with a tight-fitting lid. Use in your morning coffee or afternoon tea.
Holly
Whenever I feel like hiding away at home (and many times I do, being a pretty constant wanderer), I always think of that Baz Luhrmann recording, “(Everybody’s Free) to Wear Sunscreen.” In it, he says, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” That’s become my daily mantra, and some mornings, it’s the only thing that motivates me to leave the house and get things done. Maybe listening to that recording will help you too, when you’re feeling afraid.
joythebaker
so good. i’m taking this with me!
Amy P
That sounds awesome! I make ‘honey butter’ – I mix about two parts soft (not melted!) butter to one part honey and add a good shake of cinnamon to it. I have a few vanilla beans sitting in my pantry – I’ll have to try this!
natalie @ wee eats
An amazing and yet SO SIMPLE recipe. Delicious.
I know what you mean – I moved to Phoenix five (going on six?) years ago and I’m still a hermit (STRANGER DANGER!) I should probably get out there more but that is hard and scary. I think I”ll just stay inside a little longer…
Taylor
mmm! This sounds delicious!
Also, for the record, I think you’re wonderfully brave for moving half way across the country by yourself. I’m not sure if I would have the courage to do so (or maybe I would given the chance), either way I think it’s wonderful that you’re chasing your own adventures.
xoxo
Taylor
http://www.welcomehometaylor.com
Lauren
Excellent story! One because I can totally relate, two because it has Vermont in it (I’m from VT) and three it included two of my favourite men (Ben and Jerry). I turn 37 this year and I still have moments/weeks like that. It’s been nearly two years since I moved to Australia and somedays I just need to pull the covered back over my head and avoid it all for just a few more minutes and then, like you, I put my big girls pants on, take a big deep breath, open the door and march out into the world like I know what I’m doing!
Joy // For the Love of Leaves
I made some vanilla honey a few weeks ago and drizzled it over some blueberry spelt pancakes. So amazing! And i fully relate to your post. I have moved. Many a times and theres always that moment of truth when you have to decide between hiding and feeling paralyzed and just going full force into the adventure.
Rachel D.
the transition with newness and hardness of change doesn’t dissipate with an adventurous spirit. i’ve always had an adventurous spirit – moving to new orleans 3 yrs. ago came with it’s own excitement but also new cities can bring a bit of loneliness. if you need any recommendations of churches, cafes or hole in the wall joints, feel free to inquire.
joythebaker
i appreciate you so much!
Kara
the anxious nerves of a traveler, a wanderer, a mover…i find there is comfort in them, despite how unsettled they leave us. remember these nerves – they are the manifestation of your hopes of what great adventures are yet to come in this new space you call your own.
joythebaker
daaang your words are good!
Kaja
This sounds amazing! Love it and def gonna try it out :)
https://recipe-suitcase.blogspot.com
Erin @ The Spiffy Cookie
I have moved a couple times, once when I was too young to really notice and then two more times for college and grad school. Every time started out miserably as I missed my friends and life from my previous location. But every time I ended up having great experiences and in the end didn’t want to move when the next step arrived. P.S. this honey is simple, yet still blows my mind just thinking about all the lovely ways to use it. Especially like the idea of adding it toast with peanut butter.
shelly
keep the vanilla infusing recipes coming! I have a lot of vanilla beans leftover in my pantry because i made (your) homemade vanilla as v-day gifts for friends. i ordered a large quantity offline because it was cheaper than buying them 2 pods at a time at the grocery store. by the by, love these little glimpses into your life!
Katrina @ WVS
I know what it’s like moving to a new place by yourself – so strange, but then you remember why you moved there in the first place and it all makes sense. Plus, hibernating once and a while can be fun! Love this honey, joy!
Mallory
There is a fine line between exciting and scary….may exciting out number the scary
Rebekah
Raw honey makes all the difference! I’ll have to try it with vanilla beans.
https://acricketsang.blogspot.com/
Andrea D
You always keep it real, and that inspires me.