[H]ave you met my cat-animal named TRON? The cat previously known as Jules Cat Stevens (an entirely unfitting name for this beast of an animal)? TRON is the fluffy, hungry, lazy, crazy creature I let live in my house. Not only do I let him live with me, but I feed him, well and plentifully. He’s part wolverine, part shark, and cat so he deserves the best (and a lot of it), so I was thrilled when the folks at Beyond Natural Cat Food approached me about working together on a series celebrating my cat! Just let it happen… In the coming weeks I’m even designing the perfect CatLady Gift Set (yessss), as well as tips on how to keep your cat healthy and happy.
Over our four short years together, I’ve gotten to know this TRONCAT very well. He has taught me a handful of lessons about naps, balance, patience, judgement, and good food.
If you have a cat (or pet shark) of your own I’m sure you can relate to one, if not all of the following lessons and nuggets of life advice from TRONCAT.
Thank you in advance for letting my inner CatLady shine.
1. Every time is nap time. That means when the little hand on a clock is on any number, and the big hand on a clock is also on any number… you should probably nap. Go on and get it. Rest is important.
2. You’ve seen your human (that girl who feeds you) MEOW the lyrics to songs. Meowing is universal and especially effective at dinnertime.
3. Here’s why a hiss is effective. It’s understated and reveals fangs. No need to be loud or over the top. Keep calm but show everyone you’re serious. Also… you have claws for backup, but generally an understated hiss will get your point across.
4. Most people are the worst people. Unless, of course, they’re wearing black pants for you to rub your orange fur against… or unless they’re the person that feeds you delicious food.
5. Scratch the people you love LESS than you scratch the people you don’t like… like, a lot less. Also consider throwing your loved ones the occasional cuddle but always end the cuddle with a scratch across the knee. Be nice, but not too nice.
6. Run away from home exactly ONCE. Always come home. Remember, you don’t have to chase the food that falls in your bowl indoors. Your human places it there because she makes good choices and let’s face it… napping takes priority over chasing food outdoors.
photo by Hannah McSwain
7. If people are eating it, it’s probably delicious and you should go ahead and help yourself… or at least try to. Most delicious among the food that humans eat in front of you: salmon, chicken, eggs, sweet potatoes (all actual ingredients in Beyond Natural Cat Food), and occasionally ALL of the pudding.
8. Always let people think they can rub your belly. Put it out there. Play vulnerable and available. Maybe even tolerate a belly rub for approximately 2.6 seconds after which, attack at will. No one gets the belly.
9. You’re allowed to sit in your chair (aka throne) and judge everything that passes by. Mostly what passes by is your lady-human with butter and her camera. She’s ridiculous. Judge her at will… until she feeds you.
10. Landing on your feet is both instinct and practice. Stay sharp, stay hungry.
If you have a cat you know how special (and sometimes terrifying) that relationship can be. They’re sometimes snuggly, sometimes wall-climbing companions that work their way into your heart despite their sharp claws.
This post is brought to us by Beyond Natural Cat Food. No corn, wheat, soy, gnarly by-products, or artificial colors or preservatives. Just the real food I give to TRONCAT to keep him extra sassy, nappy, and wise. To try it yourself, click here!