Can I tell you something? Two weeks ago, during a typically rainy New Orleans rainstorm, I was driving my car from not home to home, going down a pothole-y street because they’re all pothole-y streets here in New Orleans. I drove through puddle that seems like a normal-sized puddle and not 6-foot deep middle-of-the-street-swimming-hole, and as my tire splashed through the giant puddle I totally splashed a wall of mud water onto the unsuspecting girl walking along the sidewalk. Like the Sex and the City opening credits, but less whimsical and more muddy. The worst part, the really horrible part is that I didn’t stop my car, get out and apologize. To be fair there was a car driving behind me, but I splashed this girl and I did not stop to recognize her humanity, apologize for her unwanted muddiness, and tell her it was a total accident. I keep thinking about it. Not a cool way to be. I can do better.
Here’s out leap into the new year, Internet-style:
• How To Become The Best In The World at What You Do (and other modest goals?). Start as an amateur…. just start. And run towards the thing that everyone is running from.
• These days, with social media and everyone else’s seemingly perfect lives, there is a lot of shame and defeat associated with sadness. I speak this from my heart because I’ve felt a lot of shame with sadness over the past year. It’s not just the defeat of sadness, I’ve felt like I can’t even talk about my sadness until I have it figured out, until I have a lesson to share, or a successful way towards the light… but what if I don’t? It’s an uncomfortable cycle, but what if sadness is just sadness for a while? Can that just be ok? Let Yourself Be Sad
• It’s like, we know it’s a problem but we’re still not doing anything about it. Like doughnuts and watching Forensic Files late at night. What I Learned in 12 Weeks of Therapy For Social Media Addiction
• The Funny Thing About Abusive Relationships. This is real and honest and real.
• I always read stupid stupid stupid lists like this when I’m looking for anything… absolutely anything to do besides the thing I’m actually supposed to be doing (i.e.: finishing a book manuscript, emailing my accountant, writing a check for the cable bill, doing the dishes). It’s deep, likely unhealthy procrastination. Don’t even get me started on the hashtag #YouKnowTheyReallyLikeYouWhen: 12 Things A Guy Does When He’s Legit Into You. The second item on the list I read as 2. He’s President. And I laughed to myself and stopped reading because that’s all I needed to know. This is not a cry for help, my self esteem is at a solid medium. You should really be alarmed at the number of goat video and cat videos I watch on a weekly basis.
• I’m really ready to simplify. I currently wear the same thing everyday anyway. How to Create a Capsule Wardrobe.
• Is This The Collapse of the Kardashian Economy? Fingers crossed?
• New-to-me podcast that’s interesting: Reply All. Also, are you listening to the second season of Serial?
• How To Set Up Your New iPhone: 13 settings you should change right now. This link is mostly for my Dad.
• I Tried Breadfacing – Now I Understand. This link is probably perplexing to 38% of you, and my mom. Hi, Mom! I’ll call you later.
• Things I made that I did not take pictures of: Homemade Oat Milk. It’s so simple and really lovely with cinnamon and maple syrup.
• I like these Six-Layer Bento Box Lunches from Bon Appetit.
• 73 Questions with Olivia Munn. You’re about to go down a rabbit hole.
• Rose Hibiscus and Coconut Water Face Mist because we are fancy.
• DIY Grapefruit Bitters Kit, because we’re fond of ourselves and gin.
Have some coffee and a quiche. I love you, good day.
xo Joy
How’s your Queen B shoulder shake?
Irary
I love your blog and your posts! So, when you said; You can’t talk about sadness until you have something solid to share about it. That hit home. Have a great week!
Lauren
Beautiful.
Jennifer
Dear Joy
Please do not ever feel bothered by being sad or judge yourself based on what Social Media says is good or right. Sadness is an emotion that every person has. It needs to be expressed, just like happiness or anger or fear does. I know you are a Christian so I feel like maybe this is okay to say to you. God has gifted you with that emotion, just like all the rest because it is part of your created being and a way to cope with life. Sometimes what is happening in our life makes us feel intense joy, sometimes it makes us feel intense sadness. Both are equally okay.
Have you watched the movie Inside Out? It is about being aware of your emotions and especially others being aware of your emotions. About feeling a freedom to express them. If something or someone makes you feel uncomfortable about being sad, it or they are not adding value to your life. Sadness is definitely okay.
Be blessed.
Jennifer
Paula
A key piece of reading material for feeling all of your feelings without guilt: “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach. And I agree with Jennifer above, who recommended watching “Inside Out.” My therapist actually told me to watch it, because she thought it was such a fantastic portrayal of how our brains work: different bits of ourselves drive the bus at different times, and the crucial part is that they can all work in balance. Digging the Let It Be Sunday series in such a big way. Thank you for sharing both your food and your feelings!!
joythebaker
Thank you, Paula!
TheSuburbanSoapbox
I know you get a rain shower of comments and mine may be buried amongst all of them, but, the fact that you acknowledged the pot hole puddle covered girl in a truly apologetic way makes you a much better person than most. I know some people that would find it hilarious and share that story as the highlight of their day over a bucket of shots with their buddies. AND (new topic now) I learned that it’s ok to be sad from the movie “Inside Out.” If you haven’t seen it, the main character’s name is Joy….it’s animated…and a wonderful lesson in how important it is to let the sadness in….and just let it be. :-) I hope you have a happy day.
Linda
Love your posts.
Poppy Spock
do you have missed connections in new orleans? like a personal ad for when your eyes meet across a crowded room? boy if i got a missed connection and it turned out to be joy the baker who splashed me with mud, that would make my day for a month :D
joythebaker
craigslist seems scary. no?
dc
Thanks for sharing! Really love the capsule wardrobe…but I need the fat girl version (wonder what it looks like). I love the bitters diy…of course, I had to laugh that it was made in Minnesota (I’m a northern midwesterner as well so I can laugh at that). As for perfect life…don’t need it just a good one!
emilyinutah
Joy, thanks as always for your courage to be open with us! You’re not the only one in a shame/sadness place. It’s nice to know I’m not alone. You’re not alone. Thanks.
joythebaker
We’re in it together.
Matt
LIVING. FOR. SUNDAY. POSTS. LIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVIINNNGGGGGGG! but you already knew this.
Melissa
Honesty is so pleasant! Sad days are ok, just as ok as happy ones. Social media sure does make you seem like a loser if you’re not super pumped all the time lol
Yolandi Carr
Wonderful post, I ‘almost’ feel normal.
Carrie
A lovely post! Last year I got rid of most of my clothes and cut back to a capsule wardrobe and I LOVE it. I now know exactly what to wear in the mornings, meaning more time in bed, so a win-win situation all round!
Ann
So good every Sunday. So much love.
Elisabeth H
I am a Norwegian woman,57 yrs old, probably not at all like your average reader,but I have to say I just love, love, LOVE (get it?) your blog,and one of the highlights of my Sundays is checking out your blog. As we currently have about 15 inches of snow and it is still coming down like crazy and the temps are down to 10, nothing is more tempting than curling up w a steaming hot cup of coffee,a soft wool blanket and an interesting read…like your Sunday posts! Keep up the good work!????
joythebaker
Thank you for your kindness Elisabeth. I would have no idea what to do with that much snow.
mariell
your sunday posts are my life. hope your weekend was wonderful! <3