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10 Things I Do To Survive Airplane Travel

July 25, 2017 by Joy the Baker 90 Comments

At least once a month I’ll find myself in a line at the airport, shoving a small container of my folded belongings through an x-ray machine hoping they make it, without suspicion, to meet me on the other side.  I know what city I’m in based on airport tiles and carpets.  I have no shame attached to occasionally gate-checking a bag.   I will sit patiently and wait for the system to do it’s thing around me.  I feel lucky that travel is part of my work and life-  part routine / part adventure.  The balance is always: what creature comforts do I carry with me, and how on Earth will I deal with people at large.  Here are a few of my travel ways, condensed into ten so I don’t sound as crazy as I actually am. 

•  Wipe it all down.  I can 100% handle all of the side-eye and silently judgy looks I get from fellow passengers on a plane when  I whip out my disinfecting wipes and wipe down the armrest and tray table around my seat.  Yea, maybe it’s weird… but it can’t be any more weird that being ok with sitting in someone sneezy mess.  I am never without  disinfecting wipes on a plane and I hit everything from the tray table to the seat belt and window area with it before I settle in.  I don’t make a big deal about it… I’m just doing this thing that I do.  The people that give me side eye?  I offer them a wipe and if they decline I dish the side eye riiiight back at em.  Label me a germaphobe, but please don’t mistake me for nice. 

•  I always take a mega powerful phone charger with me when I travel because I’m nowhere near social enough to gather around an airport electrical outlet and I start to feel anxious if my phone dips below 40% because I’m usually without a car and the only phone numbers I have memories are my parents house in Los Angeles and my best friend from elementary school’s mom and I don’t think she’d pick me up in Detroit if I needed a hand. I could memorize more phone numbers but somehow it seems like carrying around a reliable charger is easier.  Sidenote: when the grid goes down, Michelle P’s mom…  I’m gonna need your help.  I’m Joy, you may remember be from 1988.  Thank you. 

•  Download podcasts to your device so you don’t get up in the sky without what you’d like to hear- the sound of your neighbor eating pretzels is truly more annoying that you could ever imagine.  I listen to Revisionist History, My Favorite Murder (obviously), LeVar Burton Reads, 99% Invisible, and Reply All.  

•  Bring a scarf because even if airline blankets happen to exist on your flight, you likely won’t get one and you definitely don’t want one.  I don’t just bring any scarf, I bring a big cotton scarf that also doubles as a blanket and towel without being too bulky.  It’s a wonder and I’ve also used it as a beach towel so… this scarf is basically my binky and I’ll own that.

•  Be very polite to the people working very hard, everyone else… maybe less so.  What I’m saying is, show extra grace and kindness to the flight crew and the baggage dudes and the gate agents… they have to deal with so much of our mess we don’t even realize.  Also parenst on a plane with small children are working extremely hard to keep their little ticking time bombs from losing their shit and for that we are so grateful… though if a fit ensues, I mean… it’s ok.  BUT don’t get caught up in something you don’t want to get caught up in.  Don’t sit in discomfort because you don’t want to ask to get up and use the restroom.  The person sitting in the aisle seat knows the duties that come with that seating position.  Don’t sit through an over-sharer’s divorce story.  Don’t let encroachers encroach. Be gracious, but be a boss about your boundaries. Speaking of… have you ever seen this portable armrest divider? We’re evolving as a species, ok? 

•  Stay super hydrated, no for real- more than you think! Airplane air is very dry air.  You’re not imagining that you’re lips are dry and your eyes are stingy.  Air is cold and thin and sucking moisture off of you.  It’s aggressive. This is not a drill.  I bring an empty water bottle and ask the flight attendants to add their bottled water to it instead of using one of those small plastic cups.  It’s a little obnoxious to ask them to fill the entire bottle you’re handing them so I just ask if they can fill it bit.  Let’s not get greedy.    I always have a little hand cream and a lip moisturizer at the ready, too.

Also, here’s a polite thing that will go a loooong way. If you’d like another drink on the plane, get up, walk to the back of the plane and kindly ask the flight attendant for it if they’ve finished up cart service.  Don’t with the call button.  Just don’t.  Also… I’ve found that for these efforts I’m often rewarded an extra treat (be it a glass of wine or a cookie) which are more likely to happen out of the sight of every other passenger on the plane when I get up and make an effort. 

•  It only took one incident of bag confusion before I added  a bold colored tag to my bag checked or otherwise.  A few of my favorite travel bags include: MZ Wallace Black Travel Tote for all of it’s organizational pockets and Everlane’s Petra Market Bag and a bag you can dump everything in, it’s classic and wipes off well when scuffed. 

•  Snacks.  I can not stress enough how important snacks are – something sweet and something salty, something that won’t get crushed beyond belief and something bought at the grocery store and not the expensive airport.  I usually opt for a trailmix that I add an aggressive amount of M&Ms and Reese’s Pieces.  Things not to eat on a plane:  jerky of any sort, anything egg, anything tuna, a giant burger, almost everything else. 

•  Unsolicited life advice: always pack a swimsuit because you neeeeeever know and bringing a swimsuit is optimistic, which is a nice quality in general.  

Speaking of plane travel. I’m headed up to Detroit this week.  I’m going to eat your pie, see your art, and hopefully see your smiling face at Pages for a book signing this coming Thursday night July 27th at 6:30pm.

Happy airport times to you this summer!

xo Joy

 

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lisa

    July 25, 2017 at 7:39 am

    I always take disinfecting wipes, too. The thought of what happens on those tray tables is disturbing!
    As for water, I always take an empty bottle and then fill it at a fountain once I’m through security. No need to wait for the cart to come around!

    Reply
    • joythebaker

      July 25, 2017 at 8:56 am

      I’ve filled it at the airport too but lemme tell ya, New Orleans airport water is noooootttt a treat.

      Reply
      • Kacy

        July 25, 2017 at 10:22 am

        Starbucks for ice water after security – it should* always be filtered! And free :)

        Reply
        • joythebaker

          July 25, 2017 at 10:29 am

          SMART!

          Reply
      • Whitney

        July 25, 2017 at 10:02 pm

        Yes! I used to travel a couple of times a month for work, and these are my favorite wipes. Yum grapefruit! Also, i wipe down everything in a rental car. After I read an article about how stomach virus germs can live on surfaces for two weeks… ? https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B001E0SPSY/ref=mp_s_a_1_6_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1501041364&sr=8-6&keywords=grapefruit+wipes

        Reply
    • Kim

      July 25, 2017 at 3:34 pm

      Love this list!!! Are you doing a book signing in NOLA at all…unless you have already for this cookbook and I missed it?

      Reply
    • warren trout

      July 25, 2017 at 9:32 pm

      I’m a 777 pilot. Stand up and stretch once an hour. Sitting is terribly bad for you. If you’re stuck in the middle or window and the others complain, offer to switch to the aisle seat. That shuts them up.

      Reply
    • Liz

      July 28, 2017 at 9:18 pm

      There is a great product in Amazon called shake it out. It is a flexible water bottle that rolls up really small. I use it for travel . Less bulky than those water bottles.

      Reply
  2. jackcollier

    July 25, 2017 at 7:32 am

    Really Great Advice. PersonallyI always have a couple of paperbacks in my carry-on, some snacks, and abottle of water.

    Reply
    • Lizzie

      July 25, 2017 at 9:53 am

      I read “paperbacks” as “pancakes” the first time and my immediate response was “I mean, why not?” Patton Oswalt’s awesome teardown of airplane pancake-eating standup sketch notwithstanding.

      Reply
  3. Lisa Acheson Luther

    July 25, 2017 at 7:19 am

    Detroit? Star Deli. You’re welcome.

    Reply
  4. Kate

    July 25, 2017 at 6:52 am

    Check out Slows BBQ (duh) and if you’re feeling adventurous try the Cadieux Cafe for feather bowling!

    Reply
  5. Molly

    July 25, 2017 at 6:49 am

    Welcome to Detroit! We are so happy to have you! A few quick tips if you have the time.
    1. It’s Mudgies (https://www.mudgiesdeli.com/wp/) annual lobster roll week
    2. Assuming you are staying downtown. Take a mini walking tour of the Woodward Corridor: starting at Campus Martius, which is a great little city square, then walk down Woodward to the Guardian Building, and have a cup of coffee inside the Prominade at the Rowland Cafe (make sure you actually go inside of the Prominade- there is another cafe in the lobby)- it is one of (if not the) most beautiful building interiors I have ever seen. They also have a great mural of the state of Michigan inside of it. Then back outside where we go further down Woodward and see the “Spirit of Detroit” statue- which at the time it was erected was the largest cast bronze statue post renaissance. Across the street we see “One Woodward Place” which was the prototype to the World Trade Center, and designed by the same Michigan architect (Minorou Yamasaki). Finally across Jefferson we go to Hart Plaza, where I always make sure to show people the Labor Legacy Monument, as well as the marker that notes you are standing (and have more or less been walking) on a part of the route of what was the largest civil rights demonstration in the US up to that point- the “Detroit Walk to Freedom”. The march was the warm up event for the “March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom”. The Detroit march was where MLK first gave his “I have a dream” speech- which was written up the street in UAW’s “Solidarity House”.After that, I walk through Hart Plaza to the Underground Railroad monument, where you can look across the river and wave at some friendly Canadians- just remember, as you are peeking into downtown Windsor, you are actually facing south to see Canada! At this point you are at the Riverfront, which you can spend a LOT of time exploring- and even walk all the way to the Dequindre Cut, which is a really fun urban park and trail. Sadly they got rid of some of Detroit’s best graffiti for more watered down faux “urban street art”, but cest la vie.
    3. Detroit Institute of Arts
    3. Eastern Market
    4. Coney Dogs at Lafayette Coney (or American snarl)
    5. Belle isle (aquarium, conservatory, Great Lakes museum, zoo) all free and pretty cool.
    6. Motown Museum
    7. For cocktails check out The Whisky Parlor – a great low-key option, especially if you like jazz. The Old Miami – an old Cass Corridor establishment that predates much of the recent neighborhood development. Grab a cold one and sit in Miami’s enormous, grassy backyard. Ottava Via – gets plus points for the fireplace and bocci ball courts. 13. Motor City Wine – This secluded Corktown patio is filled with tables and benches for soaking up some rays over a glass of wine. The bar host regular live music and DJ’s, as well as pop-up dinners. The approachable wine selection includes some nicer boxed wines on the low end and bottles in the wine shop that can be purchased and sipped on site for a small corkage fee. Mercury Burger Bar – Sandwiched between the main restaurant and an adjoining building, Mercury’s colorful patio is one of the best spots for a burger and a beer. 5. Tom’s Tavern: You want a dive bar with character? This place is your Nicolas Cage. It’s loaded with history, and not just from its nearly 90 years of existence. In recent years the rickety building has been driven into twice — only once was on purpose — and, throughout its lifetime, has survived burglary attempts, fires, the boom and subsequent decline of the surrounding neighborhood, and the death of Tom himself. This is the rare kind of spot in which the whole is much greater than the sum of its parts, and it is only still here today for the Herculean efforts of those who cannot allow it to close, and there aren’t many places like this left — not in Detroit, not anywhere. 6. Nancy Whiskey – Another ancient dive that was almost lost to us forever due to a fire in 2009, Nancy Whiskey, established in 1902, is a popular watering hole with live music from local bands and blues musicians, Friday fish frys, and Whiskey Wednesdays with $1 PBRs and $2 domestics. Bonus: free shots for first timers. 8. Abicks’s Bar – 91-year-old proprietor Manya Soviak passed away in 2014, and anyone who ever knew her (which is everyone who ever went to Abick’s) still mourns her passing. But her family is keeping the traditions at Detroit’s oldest family-operated bar (109 years old this year!) very much alive. Abick’s is the kind of place where all the neighborhood residents convene as the primary social gathering spot, where everyone knows everyone and there is a distinct family vibe throughout, and where you can get an honest-to-God home-cooked meal — like Manya’s chili — while hanging out with all your (new) friends.
    8. Cliff bells- Swanky, restored art deco club serves creative, eclectic fare with live jazz on stage nightly.
    9. Places with great food: Mabel Gray- American eatery with a daily hand-written menu featuring local ingredients in modern preparations. 1. Wright & Co. – This downtown gastropub compliments tasty fare and chic decor with some well-curated craft brew options. A constant ebb and flow of seasonal and limited-release brews from around the world will keep your tastebuds happy. Choose from their fruit and sour suds, or ask the bartender of the menu-denoted rarities “too limited to list.” Antietam – Fine-dining choice with a vintage vibe & menu of French brasserie-style fare & craft cocktails. Selden standard- Flavors born in local farms, captured at the peak of the season, prepared in a wood-fired oven, and served small plates-style. Green Dot Stables -Grab your saddle. Slider joint with a chill vibe serves bite-sized eats with global flavors

    Reply
    • Lyn

      July 25, 2017 at 7:29 am

      Molly, Molly Molly….wow, who knew? Have you ever thought of being a local guide? My guess would be that you’d shine.

      Reply
      • Molly

        July 26, 2017 at 5:12 am

        That’s very sweet! I just love this gritty city of mine. I just want to share some of the positives with folks coming in from out of town. We get enough negative press.

        Reply
      • Dana

        July 26, 2017 at 7:21 am

        I second the motown museum.

        Reply
      • Lesley

        July 26, 2017 at 11:06 am

        My husband and I were just talking about short trips around the US we would like to take, and Detroit was one of his. What a great guide!

        Reply
    • joythebaker

      July 25, 2017 at 8:57 am

      WOW WOW WOW! And you’ve even added the Nicholas Cage of dive bars! I’m very grateful! Thank you!

      Reply
      • Molly

        July 26, 2017 at 5:17 am

        You are so very welcome! Please enjoy our city

        Reply
        • niki

          July 26, 2017 at 12:24 pm

          i am headed to detroit tomorrow (can’t make the book signing waaah we dont get in until late) and i TOTALLY appreciate your recommendations! Thank you!

          Reply
    • Vaughan Greene

      July 25, 2017 at 1:30 pm

      Detroit, I’ve only had one short visit but loved it. Want to go back.
      Please check out Dabls MBad African Bead Museum. The Folk/Outsider Art park there is astounding. Never seen anything like it. A treasure. And the owner of the store is very wise and cool.
      And of course you must see the Rivera murals at the DIA.
      Enjoy.

      Reply
    • Barb

      July 25, 2017 at 4:44 pm

      Molly, lol! I grew up there, and go back every year for a visit, and I saved this for next time!

      Reply
      • Molly

        July 26, 2017 at 5:15 am

        Feel free to reach out. I know I wrote a short novel, but I can share more.

        Reply
  6. Sara G

    July 25, 2017 at 6:37 am

    I am stoked to listen to “LeVar Burton Reads” on my drive home from work today. Hopefully I don’t just weep from Reading Rainbow nostalgia after hearing his voice. Thank you for the suggestion!

    Reply
  7. Adrienne

    July 25, 2017 at 6:20 am

    On a plane to Spain, I wound up with a miserable eye infection that lasted almost a year. Those wipes are a brilliant idea! I wonder if the Clorox in them would remove color from my clothes? (Stupid question but that once happened…)

    Reply
    • Rita

      July 25, 2017 at 9:14 am

      You can use antibacterial hand wipes or a nonbleach surface wipe (Lysol makes one with hydrogen peroxide). Choose something that does not have a strong scent that would linger to bother you or others in a confined space (bleach is a significant irritant for many people, including many of us with asthma)

      Reply
      • joythebaker

        July 25, 2017 at 9:30 am

        Oh that’s a good note! I often use the little red package of antibacterial wet wipes.

        Reply
  8. Alana

    July 25, 2017 at 6:06 am

    My laughing emoji went rogue into questionable treat- it was a heart and laugh.

    Reply
  9. Kristin

    July 25, 2017 at 6:06 am

    This is a great list. Why have I never thought of the wipes?! Hopefully I will remember them next time I fly, or will be seated next to you!

    Reply
  10. Alana

    July 25, 2017 at 6:05 am

    Joy you are a treat?? Thank you for being you!

    Reply
  11. Leah Noble

    July 25, 2017 at 6:02 am

    Ummm, perfect timing… I’m heading out in three days for a plane trip! I don’t fly very often, maybe once a year, so this was great to read. Thanks!

    Reply
  12. Seana Turner

    July 25, 2017 at 5:56 am

    I like the scarf idea. I’m about to head out on another trip, and I can see this would be so handy. Packing one!

    Reply
    • Lizzie

      July 25, 2017 at 9:55 am

      I bought a blanket scarf from Structured KC for that exact purpose after seeing a coworker’s gorgeous one. A++ highly recommended.

      Reply
  13. andrea

    July 25, 2017 at 5:38 am

    I never comment. ever. I do love your blog though and now as an airline gate agent,let me just say, you are 100% correct about everything. Best cookies, best travel advice.I love you even more now. Happy travels!

    Reply
  14. Jax

    July 25, 2017 at 5:19 am

    I am curious about your scarf/blanket/towel that you take with you for travel. Any links?
    <3

    Reply
    • Susannah

      July 25, 2017 at 3:24 pm

      these are a little pricey, but I’ve been flying with a linen throw from caroline z hurley *for years* and swear by it. They’re the perfect weight, and I love having a blanket in random hotels and airbnb’s to make things feel a little more like home. https://carolinezhurley.com/collections/throws

      Reply
  15. Iris

    July 25, 2017 at 4:15 am

    Here’s another tip, Neil Patrick Harris (aka dougie howser MD) recommends putting neosporin on the inside of each nostril, to prevent from getting sick.

    Reply
    • joythebaker

      July 25, 2017 at 6:55 am

      Oh that’s a good one!

      Reply
    • StarM

      July 25, 2017 at 7:56 am

      Ditto. A doctor friend of mine also suggested the neosporine trick when you live some where humid (e.g., Texas coast, NoLa, etc) and you’re traveling to somewhere with no/minimal humidity (e.g., Las Vegas, etc). Helps with many potential germ issues in the air & on the ground.

      Reply
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