Hello sweet friends.
Happy Sunday. Welcome to it!
Two things: one about television, one not about television.
I know I’m about a year behind most of y’all but I have to tell you that I just started that television show This is Us, and to those of you who were losing your ever-loving minds about it last year… let me just say, I GET IT. I had no idea I had so many tears in my body.
Has this week felt like a vortex to you? I feel like all of the energy has been pulled from me. Likely it’s a case of airplane rides and deep summer heat and I’m hoping for a recharge inherent in this weekend. I hope you’re finding your recharge, too.
Here are some things:
• This is an important piece, as we’re all in this world together: The Living and the Dead. Also, the New York Times podcast The Daily has been reporting from Mosul this past week with some very important stories.
• Unfortunately, we’re not very good an empathizing with the millions: The hard limits of human compassion.
• You’re going to say a curse word to yourself under your breath at the end of this. It’s all so deeply heart-hurtingly true: The 12 Hour Goodbye That Started Everything.
• I really appreciate Torre Deroche’s voice. See: A Very Awkward Breakup. I’m also very excited for her new book The Worrier’s Guide to the End of the World.
• Adult friendships take different shapes through the years and what’s always true is people just are who they are, and let’s not let Facebook algorithms mess with your minds: It seems like my friends don’t like me.
• A bit more: Why a Toaster Is a Design Triumph.
• Mental fatigue is a real thing, friends. Also, emotions are contagious – I KNEW IT! Why sitting at your computer all day can wipe you out. Goodness… we all need a hike and a nap. I’m certain of it.
• On my morality scale, I truly can’t tell which wins- my everyday attempts at honesty and transparency or my deep desire for a discounted workout class. I faked being engaged for the discounts. I have to tell you, I would absolutely do this (except for the dress shopping- that just sounds stressful).
• The Ultimate Playlist of Banned Wedding Songs. Play a little game with yourself and just guess what’s on here before clicking over. If the Macarena is on your mind YOU’RE RIGHT.
• This is really interesting: A rare medical condition makes you love everyone, where oxytocin, Shakespeare and music intersect.
• The lady who has been cutting my hair since it was ten years old and triangle-shaped used to have a wolf as a pet dog. Ok… that was a real sentence and actually very accurate. I knew it was a wolf because when I met him (his name was Sebastian) EVERY PART OF MY BODY wanted to run for safety because I think there’s something biological in my DNA that was like AAAHHHH WOLF, exactly. She had found him in the desert when he was just a baby and had been injured or abandoned or something equally dramatic, and he was just her dog. A wolf. Anyhow: the friendliness gene that distinguishes dogs from wolves.
• I’m trying this Golden Milk Powder from Thrive Market. If you ever order groceries online, I think Thrive Market is a wonderful way to shop and give at the same time.
• Can we have a feminine moment where I tell you that I’ve started reading The Woman Code? It’s an approachable and helpful guide to how all of our very delicate and hard working hormone makers work, how easily they can get wonky, and the way we can get them back in sync.
• One of my favorite recipes and my old French Quarter apartment: Brown Butter Banana Bread.
• Simple: Stone Fruit in Red Wine.
• However you listen to music, I highly recommend you add the band Sweet Crude to your rotation / collection.
I’m glad you’re here. Enjoy this day.
xo Joy
Beth Watkins
I can’t tell you how much I look forward to these weekly round ups. They’re my Monday morning treat as I work through emails and other desky tasks.
Lauren
Thank you so much for doing this every week. I love looking forward to this and I actually am getting to read this week ON Sunday (rather than Monday.) :)
Kristiana
Loved the fake engagement article. Laughed out loud! Probably would never do as I cannot hold a lie, but I admire her boldness.
Paula
The response in the “Ask Polly” column rang so deeply and honestly true for me. I’ve found myself unfollowing a lot of my “communities” on social media in attempt to escape the never-ending pep rally, and I now try to avoid commenting on anything if I don’t have something genuine to say. I worry about seeming disengaged or like a crank, but the superficial love fest can be so, so draining. Thanks for sharing things that make me feel less alone, and maybe a little vindicated for sometimes being a dick.
Rhonda
So much good stuff, Joy – as always!
1. Perfect juxtaposition of the Williams Syndrome article and the one about the friendliness gene in dogs/wolves.
2. Need that toaster NOW! (I can cook a 5-course meal for 20 without a hitch yet burn toast weekly – what’s that all about?!)
3. The 12-Hour Breakup conclusion = Truth!
4. I found the limits of human compassion article incredibly fascinating and, certainly, sad. The quote “Even partial solutions save whole lives” will stay with me and is a mindset I hope to internalize in order to prevent “psychic numbing.” Thank you for sharing this important piece, Joy!
5. Will think of you this fall when I’m sobbing through Season 2 of This Is Us – that show should be sponsored by Kleenex! SO. GOOD.
xoxo
Sandra Manley-Eichler
I am embarassed to say that my only exposure to Williams Syndrome was an episode of Law and Order. After reading the interview via National Geographic and Latson’s interview on the NYTimes Book Review Podcast, I am excited to learn more about it!
I look forward to your column every Sunday. Thank you for expanding our hearts, stomachs, and minds! xoxo
Emily
I will echo what the others have said: that Modern Love essay was everything I needed to hear. I’m not sure it makes the “getting over” any easier, but at least we can give ourselves some grace in it. And, truthfully, I don’t want to forget that human and this gives me permission not to.
Nicole Schwartz
This is us!!!! ( insert Oprah voice) I binge watched and cried like a baby. I hope they can continue the magic. Also love you! Xo
Sandra Manley-Eichler
If you insert Oprah voice into anything, it totally adds more to the conversation! I totally have to watch this!
Julia
Thanks for the shout out for Sweet Crude
We love them after seeing them @ FGF & in Lafayette. The finally came to LA & I proudly took my best friend to see them. The duo Alexis & Samuari from the band I sent also fabulous
Rachel
I’ve been criticizing myself for not “getting over” a break up. I really needed to read that. It’s easy to give grace to others, but so much harder to give it to ourselves. As always, thank you.
joythebaker
I’m rooting for your heart.
Ashley V
Along Women Code Lines, I also recommend Sarah Gottfried’s “The Hormone Cure.”
joythebaker
Thank you!
Karen B
I always read your Sunday post. Don’t always agree with everything that is posted but always enjoy what I read. I thank you for introducing me to Amos Lee. His music is my zen for me. I will now try Golden Milk powder while listening to Amos Lee. Life is so good.
joythebaker
It is indeed!
Ellen
Let It Be Sunday is always informative, entertaining and just plain FUN! So many new things to explore. Hope you are able to recharge, you must need it badly. Thank-you for another enJOYable post!!
Claire, UK
Some great articles this week. I usually start my Sunday with you, but I was up this morning before this was online. Just means I can now read it while I eat a leisurely mid-morning cocoa brownie (from Smitten Kitchen), so all is well. Um, make that a couple of brownies…. maybe three.
R
So many interesting reads, Joy!
Faking being engaged – wow, that sounds like a lot of work. I’m a terrible liar and I could never pull that off (and I wouldn’t either, honestly).
And that NYT article, damn. So much truth. THIS ->>“It’s about honoring what happened,” she said. “You met a person who awoke something in you. A fire ignited. The work is to be grateful. Grateful every day that someone crossed your path and left a mark on you.” I spent a good part of my 20’s with the same man and when the relationship ended, well, it was all very confusing. He passed away shortly after, almost 3 years ago, and I think about him so, so much. I never want to let go; I feel so thankful I got to share my life with him, no matter how things ended.
Katherine
Your story feels like an extension of mine in a way. Sorry for what you’ve been through and what you’re continuing to go through. I think it was a TEDTalk I listened to (I might be wrong about that) about how relationships that fall apart for whatever reason should be looked at like a piece of art. Beautiful as it began and as it continued to be created and even the memory itself is something to look back at fondly. I probably butchered that, but that different way of thinking about something painful as actually beautiful has been at least a bit of comfort for me as I continue to deal with really painful and confusing thoughts. Now I’m gonna go read that story.
Rebeca
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I don’t know if that’s the case with you, but I had so much faith in that relationship that I never expected it to end, and it was so hard to process. But changing my perspective helped, though it’s still confusing and hard sometimes all this time later. I’m in a relationship now with a great man I’m crazy about, but I’d be lying if I said it was easy getting here or that my brain and heart don’t struggle sometimes. Relationships (and life in general) are messy and we have to do our best to navigate them, right? Be kind to yourself, and yes, remember the beauty.