Hello, friends!
I was all set to turn in my Sunday links to Joy a full day early because I finally had my act together. But then the massacre at Robb Elementary school happened and I, like all of you, felt gutted. The world is chaotic and shows no sign of slowing down. I feel sadness and anger and, at the same time, gratitude. There’s still so much love out there.
So, in today’s offering, I put together some action items in response to recent events as well as content to give you some space to take care of yourselves. I’ve always viewed pop culture as self-care (it’s why I read so much) instead of simply a distraction. Take what you will. Then put down your phones, get off the Internet, and do something that makes you feel grateful.
Xo,
Toby
• This essay on daydreaming by Leslie Jamison is the best piece of writing I’ve read in a long while. Make yourself comfortable and dig in (you will need to register for free access to read the article). (Astra)
• You don’t have to be a parent to appreciate this totally relatable post on managing your expectations when it comes to traveling. Whether it’s dealing with airport stress or pandemic drama, don’t we all ride that roller coaster of moods on vacation? (What’s Up Moms)
• My friend Kelly shared this hopping penguin video last week and I’ve watched it with glee every day since. (Twitter)
• Action item: Last Day is an award-winning podcast from author Stephanie Wittels Wachs that’s addressing guns in America. If you find yourself entering an argument with someone from the opposing side of this issue, it’s helpful to go in with an educated stance on the history of gun violence and how fear drives both sides of the debate. (Apple Podcasts)
• OK, this one’s kinda woo-woo, but my best friend gave me these Love Cards for my birthday and I’ve been, well, loving them. Each day, I pull one from the box and text it to her, giving us a fun touch point for our friendship. (Inner Compass)
• Continuing my journey of typing ‘easy’ into Joy’s search bar, I landed on this delicious recipe for Watermelon Feta and Cucumber Salad. It practically screams ‘Happy Memorial Day’ with a round of cheerleader sprinkles, right? (Joy the Baker)
• Action item: Joanna did a wonderful job rounding up ways to donate and learn more in her post on Thinking about the Uvalde School Shooting, and What to Do Now. (Cup of Jo)
• These Gen X ASMR TikToks are captivating. And, yes, they’re produced by the AARP, but we’ll ignore that piece of information. (TikTok)
• I usually listen to conversation-based podcasts, so it’s been a refreshing change of pace to train my attention to longform programs. My latest obsession is Heidi World, a highly produced series on the Heidi Fleiss scandal. It has a sprawling cast and dives into the ethics of sex work and 90’s media. I’m totally hooked. (Apple)
• Action item: This brilliant 2018 essay from author Tom McAllister resurfaced this week and should be revisited in the same way that he writes, “Keep going back, keep showing them my body.” (The Rumpus)
• Anyone else watching Heartstopper? I have such a crush on this show about crushes. My only note is that I wish Olivia Colman had more scenes. Hacks is also making me laugh harder than anything else right now. (Netflix + HBO Max)
• As a woman who has decided not to do anything to her face, I appreciate the weekly newsletter, How Not to F*ck Up Your Face. Valerie Monroe was the beauty director at O Magazine and has now turned her attention to helping women approach aging with self-reflection instead of self-criticism. (Substack)
• I’ve been doing this series of 5-minute workouts to get my blood flowing, since I can tolerate pretty much anything for five minutes at a time. I even do two a day if I’m feeling able-bodied. (Daily OM)
• Action item: this Amazon books wish list was created by the mother of one of the shooting victims in Buffalo to create conversations on racism and Black history within the community. Finally, Amazon is being used for something worthwhile. (Amazon)
• In honor of Top Gun: Maverick’s release this weekend, I’d like to direct you to my favorite article by Tom Cruise scholar, Amy Nicholson. It’s from 2014 and is a solid history lesson in stardom and couch jumping. (LA Weekly)
Take care of yourselves the best you can, friends. Sending you love.
Dottie
I’m just catching up with Sunday’s post and I thank you for all of your suggestions Joy. I found Joanna’s post very helpful and had included it in my weekend blog post too! She brought me to tears and provided me with practical actions I could take.
I have to watch Heartstopper. I love Olivia C.
Your peony photo is so beautiful.
Joy
Just signed up for Valerie Monroe’s newsletter! I’ve been looking for the voice of reason as I approach the “everyone’s getting Botox” age!
akbright
Thank you for your words, your selections this week. After reading the essay by Tom McAllister, which offered the words ” my face twisted in horror and confusion”, I can only imagine that is how the teachers, the children…..those children, were feeling.
toby
It’s truly heartbreaking, isn’t it?
Cindy P
Honestly the only action item that will do any good is for people to get out and vote out those people, from local councilor all the way up to statehouses, who do not support common sense gun laws and most importantly a ban on military style weapons.
connie dunfield
Cindy P….you hit the nail on the head!!! Thanks!
Toby
With you 100% but wanted to include these actions as things we can do in the meantime <3 I think it helps to keep those children top of mind and not let them get lost in the news cycle
Cat V
Amen, Cindy P!!!
Rachel
Heartstopper is the uplifting show that everyone needs right now!! And yes, Olivia Coleman is freaking incredible in it. That last scene with her makes me weep every time (I may or may not have watched the series 4 times already…)
Toby
Oh, wow, I love your dedication!
Gail Hardie
Please vote – it is our super power and the only way we can end the gun violence. Far too many politicians sleep in the deep pockets of the NRA. We must elect gunsense candidates – we must!
Toby
AMEN to all of this!!
Karen
If you vote for a Republican in Congress you are voting for no action on gun control,
Jody Bitzel
Dear Joy,
Listening to NPR after the Uvalde shootings, in the gentle voice, the host suggested actually turning off NPR and listening to soothing music.
I though that was astounding advice.
Thank you for this Sunday morning.
toby
Yes, I agree with that wholeheartedly. Even as an extremely online person, it helped me to delete IG from my phone last week. Thank you for sharing, Jody!