Friends, hello and happy Sunday! I have a feeling the new salvaged wood dining table I put in my new Houston TX living room is going to give me splinters. There is such a thing as toooooo salvaged and this table might walk the line. I’ll make sure my tetanus shot is up to date and report back. I’ll tell you more about my new space in a post tomorrow but for now please gaze upon this green wall I painted in my living room. (It’s Sherwin Williams Isle of Pines if you’re into it.)
More importantly – friends, I’ve missed you!
Thank you for granting team JtB a break this August. I moved half of my life to a new city and planned some delicious things for us this fall, but I did it all very slowly and I appreciate that space. I hope this finds you steady. Wait… is this a long year? Days are short. Weeks are long. Months are short. Years are long and short all wrapped up in one. Now is no time for an existential crisis about time, let’s carry on with the offering this Sunday.
• Kim got us back in the swing of Sunday things last week and the article What Comes After Ambition has been knocking around my head ever since. I’ve fielded countless questions of “what’s next” after halfway moving to Houston and I’m afraid, for this moment, the answer and the ambition behind it might feel anticlimactic. My current ambition is to learn the aisles of my local HEB. If I don’t have that, most everything else will fall apart.
• “You deserve help with the thing you’re carrying.” (Instagram)
• Whenever I feel stuck in my own mud, I think about how tiny of a planet we are, and how hopeful, curious, and romantic we were to fling two gold disks into the cosmos with a collection of sounds and images from our beautiful little Earth. The Voyager Golden Record is worth a listen this Sunday. (The New Yorker, Youtube)
• I’ve recently been purged, rather suddenly, from a long friendship which, if I’m being honest, left my head spinning for a few days. It seems like what we owe one another in terms of communication and forgiveness has shifted right under my feet and I fear that we might be losing our ability to work through conflict. This piece from The Atlantic explores this newly flexed cancelling. That’s It, You’re Dead To Me. (The Atlantic)
• I could go on and on about how the Foo Fighters are just a band of great dudes and good dads who also happen to rock your face off, or we could talk about how I cried when Taylor Hawkins, the greatest rock drummer of our generation, died. Instead, I’ll leave you this video of 16 year old Shane Hawkins playing My Hero in his father’s place. I hate crying so don’t let me do it alone. (YouTube)
• I needed a pen and paper to keep track of the twins in the new Netflix show Echoes, but it was worth it for this dark and twisty who-done-it/where-is-she. (Netflix)
• On my short list of ambitions is making this sweet flower printed tank, with actual flowers. I’m going to ignore the fact that summer escaped me. (Instagram)
• You think you know, but you have no idea. True Life: The Donner Party with Chelsey Weber-Smith except it’s not MTV, it’s another excellent episode of You’re Wrong About. (Apple Podcasts)
• Hands down favorite condiment in my refrigerator is this Garlic Chili Crisp. On top of a bowl of buttery rice and a fried egg? PERFECTION. Humble suggestion – if you’re going to treat yourself to one jar, just buy two. (Eat Kari Kari)
• I have a four year old recipe for Pickle Popsicles sitting somewhere unpublished in the blog archives because after making and photographing the recipes, I thought it was too strange for y’all. Maybe I was wrong because there are certainly other pickle people in the world: An Ode to Pickle Juice. (Paste Magazine)
• We loved compiling this list of Back To School Favorites for us grown folks because September means new tennies and pens no matter how old we are. (Joy the Baker)
• It feels early but I’m very much craving a bouncy sweet Pumpkin Pecan Scones. (Joy the Baker)
Enjoy your Sunday!
My love to you.
xo Joy
Kari T.
Joy, have you ever tried making your own garlic chili crisp?? I’ve got a few recipes ready to go but haven’t carved out the time to attempt making it yet. Would love to join you on a virtual chili crisp making journey!
Becky
I had a friend of over 25 years do this to me (unexpectedly) at the beginning of the pandemic and it’s been a long road to move forward without sadness about it all… it’s nice to hear conversations about other’s experiences with it and your words that we don’t have to be terrible people to lose friends feels a bit like a virtual hug… thank you for your honesty and sharing with us all…
Toby
I had pumpkin pie last week. It’s never too early.
Brooke
RE. The Atlantic article… I think about the idea of cancel culture a lot. I think what we really want is for people to be held accountable when they truly do something hurtful, but instead society seeks to irrevocably punish them. Actions definitely deserve consequences but if it doesn’t come with a path to reconciliation, then what’s the point? The person is just relegated to the outskirts of society forever, no matter what steps they might take to grow?
I’m sorry about the friendship strain. Hope y’all are able to find your way back or at least find a peaceful ending.
Joy the Baker
Also cancel culture is not actually productive, mostly just punitive. Same for friendship cancelling. With a conversation there must be something to salvage but you know, we all get to decide how to be and who we want in our lives.
Laura
Hi there, just wanted to say, if you loved that YWA episode (I did, for sure) you’ll also love the book The Indifferent Stars Above, by Daniel James Brown. It was riveting, couldn’t put it down, even though I (kinda) knew what was going to happen. xo
Joy the Baker
Immediately added to the list! Thank you Laura!
Roberta Rohwer
From sunny (and VERY hot) California… and a person who is born and raised here… AND, more to the point, my family came to California WITH the Donner Party. Although they had a few (?) brains and went north to Oregon instead of charging over the Sierras. My ancestor, John C. McCracken wasn’t the greatest human being… but in the end he went back to Donner Pass and rescued who ever was left after the winter. I could go on and on… but today’s world does not understand what went on then. Guess I take this all very seriously… sorry. On the other hand… love you and your recipes. Wishing you much happiness in Houston!
Joy the Baker
WOW Roberta. That’s incredible. And of course you take it seriously!
Karen L
Yes on the pickle popsicle! Imagine it dunked in a martini – kind of like a dirty martini, but PICKLE!
Joy the Baker
Exactly!
Cory
YES I recently started adding pickle juice to my pickled egg recipe and it was a game changer.
amanda
welcome to houston! i don’t know what neighborhood you’re in, obviously, but if i ever run into you in heb i will try not to be weird about it. get the fresh tortillas every time if you can.
Joy the Baker
Life is short – tortillas every time.
Kate
The Atlantic article: interesting and a bit infuriating. The author states her interviewees ages but not her own, I am wondering how large the age gap is, and if that possibly has anything to do with her feelings. A 21 year old single female may feel more empowered than a 41 year old single female in this respect.
Further, why must the path take us to reconciliation? What divine powers are at work that we are unable to choose if this person is in our own life? One blessing of social media (and the internet) not mentioned: we no longer need to exclusively rely on those people we *already* know, which is often the driver of the reconciliation. When we have a finite number of people in our social or family circle, and we rely on them for support of any kind, reconciliation must happen or we know they will no longer support us. This is no longer the norm, and we are able to find a new connection with people who’s values align with our own.
Jen
Hi Joy! Great to hear your voice and recommendations again!
Jenna
Hi Joy! I too have been purged suddenly from a friendship and it was a right head f word! Thank you for mentioning it here. I had such shame over it like I was a terrible person and maybe all of my friends wanted to purge me but were too nice to do it. I got over that but it feels like a strange thing to admit to people sometimes, especially new friends, like they’ll be wondering if they’ll eventually discover the reason that person purged me and do the same. Purge PTSD! Haha.
LOOOOOVE your blog. Good luck with the other half of the move. Happy almost fall Xxoo
Joy the Baker
Thank you for the solidarity Jenna! We don’t have to be perfect people in friendships and we don’t have to be terrible people to lose them. I hear you on the shame but gosh let’s not dwell there. We can’t control what other people’s choices.