Friends, hello and happy Sunday! I have a feeling the new salvaged wood dining table I put in my new Houston TX living room is going to give me splinters. There is such a thing as toooooo salvaged and this table might walk the line. I’ll make sure my tetanus shot is up to date and report back. I’ll tell you more about my new space in a post tomorrow but for now please gaze upon this green wall I painted in my living room. (It’s Sherwin Williams Isle of Pines if you’re into it.)
More importantly – friends, I’ve missed you!
Thank you for granting team JtB a break this August. I moved half of my life to a new city and planned some delicious things for us this fall, but I did it all very slowly and I appreciate that space. I hope this finds you steady. Wait… is this a long year? Days are short. Weeks are long. Months are short. Years are long and short all wrapped up in one. Now is no time for an existential crisis about time, let’s carry on with the offering this Sunday.
• Kim got us back in the swing of Sunday things last week and the article What Comes After Ambition has been knocking around my head ever since. I’ve fielded countless questions of “what’s next” after halfway moving to Houston and I’m afraid, for this moment, the answer and the ambition behind it might feel anticlimactic. My current ambition is to learn the aisles of my local HEB. If I don’t have that, most everything else will fall apart.
• “You deserve help with the thing you’re carrying.” (Instagram)
• Whenever I feel stuck in my own mud, I think about how tiny of a planet we are, and how hopeful, curious, and romantic we were to fling two gold disks into the cosmos with a collection of sounds and images from our beautiful little Earth. The Voyager Golden Record is worth a listen this Sunday. (The New Yorker, Youtube)
• I’ve recently been purged, rather suddenly, from a long friendship which, if I’m being honest, left my head spinning for a few days. It seems like what we owe one another in terms of communication and forgiveness has shifted right under my feet and I fear that we might be losing our ability to work through conflict. This piece from The Atlantic explores this newly flexed cancelling. That’s It, You’re Dead To Me. (The Atlantic)
• I could go on and on about how the Foo Fighters are just a band of great dudes and good dads who also happen to rock your face off, or we could talk about how I cried when Taylor Hawkins, the greatest rock drummer of our generation, died. Instead, I’ll leave you this video of 16 year old Shane Hawkins playing My Hero in his father’s place. I hate crying so don’t let me do it alone. (YouTube)
• I needed a pen and paper to keep track of the twins in the new Netflix show Echoes, but it was worth it for this dark and twisty who-done-it/where-is-she. (Netflix)
• On my short list of ambitions is making this sweet flower printed tank, with actual flowers. I’m going to ignore the fact that summer escaped me. (Instagram)
• You think you know, but you have no idea. True Life: The Donner Party with Chelsey Weber-Smith except it’s not MTV, it’s another excellent episode of You’re Wrong About. (Apple Podcasts)
• Hands down favorite condiment in my refrigerator is this Garlic Chili Crisp. On top of a bowl of buttery rice and a fried egg? PERFECTION. Humble suggestion – if you’re going to treat yourself to one jar, just buy two. (Eat Kari Kari)
• I have a four year old recipe for Pickle Popsicles sitting somewhere unpublished in the blog archives because after making and photographing the recipes, I thought it was too strange for y’all. Maybe I was wrong because there are certainly other pickle people in the world: An Ode to Pickle Juice. (Paste Magazine)
• We loved compiling this list of Back To School Favorites for us grown folks because September means new tennies and pens no matter how old we are. (Joy the Baker)
• It feels early but I’m very much craving a bouncy sweet Pumpkin Pecan Scones. (Joy the Baker)
Enjoy your Sunday!
My love to you.
xo Joy
Kari T.
Joy, have you ever tried making your own garlic chili crisp?? I’ve got a few recipes ready to go but haven’t carved out the time to attempt making it yet. Would love to join you on a virtual chili crisp making journey!
Becky
I had a friend of over 25 years do this to me (unexpectedly) at the beginning of the pandemic and it’s been a long road to move forward without sadness about it all… it’s nice to hear conversations about other’s experiences with it and your words that we don’t have to be terrible people to lose friends feels a bit like a virtual hug… thank you for your honesty and sharing with us all…
Toby
I had pumpkin pie last week. It’s never too early.
Brooke
RE. The Atlantic article… I think about the idea of cancel culture a lot. I think what we really want is for people to be held accountable when they truly do something hurtful, but instead society seeks to irrevocably punish them. Actions definitely deserve consequences but if it doesn’t come with a path to reconciliation, then what’s the point? The person is just relegated to the outskirts of society forever, no matter what steps they might take to grow?
I’m sorry about the friendship strain. Hope y’all are able to find your way back or at least find a peaceful ending.
Joy the Baker
Also cancel culture is not actually productive, mostly just punitive. Same for friendship cancelling. With a conversation there must be something to salvage but you know, we all get to decide how to be and who we want in our lives.
Laura
Hi there, just wanted to say, if you loved that YWA episode (I did, for sure) you’ll also love the book The Indifferent Stars Above, by Daniel James Brown. It was riveting, couldn’t put it down, even though I (kinda) knew what was going to happen. xo
Joy the Baker
Immediately added to the list! Thank you Laura!
Roberta Rohwer
From sunny (and VERY hot) California… and a person who is born and raised here… AND, more to the point, my family came to California WITH the Donner Party. Although they had a few (?) brains and went north to Oregon instead of charging over the Sierras. My ancestor, John C. McCracken wasn’t the greatest human being… but in the end he went back to Donner Pass and rescued who ever was left after the winter. I could go on and on… but today’s world does not understand what went on then. Guess I take this all very seriously… sorry. On the other hand… love you and your recipes. Wishing you much happiness in Houston!
Joy the Baker
WOW Roberta. That’s incredible. And of course you take it seriously!
Karen L
Yes on the pickle popsicle! Imagine it dunked in a martini – kind of like a dirty martini, but PICKLE!
Joy the Baker
Exactly!
Cory
YES I recently started adding pickle juice to my pickled egg recipe and it was a game changer.
amanda
welcome to houston! i don’t know what neighborhood you’re in, obviously, but if i ever run into you in heb i will try not to be weird about it. get the fresh tortillas every time if you can.
Joy the Baker
Life is short – tortillas every time.
Kate
The Atlantic article: interesting and a bit infuriating. The author states her interviewees ages but not her own, I am wondering how large the age gap is, and if that possibly has anything to do with her feelings. A 21 year old single female may feel more empowered than a 41 year old single female in this respect.
Further, why must the path take us to reconciliation? What divine powers are at work that we are unable to choose if this person is in our own life? One blessing of social media (and the internet) not mentioned: we no longer need to exclusively rely on those people we *already* know, which is often the driver of the reconciliation. When we have a finite number of people in our social or family circle, and we rely on them for support of any kind, reconciliation must happen or we know they will no longer support us. This is no longer the norm, and we are able to find a new connection with people who’s values align with our own.
Jen
Hi Joy! Great to hear your voice and recommendations again!
Jenna
Hi Joy! I too have been purged suddenly from a friendship and it was a right head f word! Thank you for mentioning it here. I had such shame over it like I was a terrible person and maybe all of my friends wanted to purge me but were too nice to do it. I got over that but it feels like a strange thing to admit to people sometimes, especially new friends, like they’ll be wondering if they’ll eventually discover the reason that person purged me and do the same. Purge PTSD! Haha.
LOOOOOVE your blog. Good luck with the other half of the move. Happy almost fall Xxoo
Joy the Baker
Thank you for the solidarity Jenna! We don’t have to be perfect people in friendships and we don’t have to be terrible people to lose them. I hear you on the shame but gosh let’s not dwell there. We can’t control what other people’s choices.
TR
Publish the pickle popsicles recipe!! It would make many members of my household very happy.
Joy the Baker
Spoiler – it’s really just pickle juice, frozen, with a pickle inside. I used a small popsicle mold though – how much pickle juice do we actually need? I feel like not thaaaat much.
Amanda
I too was purged from a rather long friendship a couple of years ago. First, hugs. Second, I found that book in the article “Conflict is Not Abuse” extremely helpful in working through it and highly recommend it if the circumstances fit.
Joy the Baker
Ah thank you for this rec Amanda!
Jen
Beautiful post! Not that you need recommendations (but here I go) – Mai’s Vietnamese is the best in Texas and Baba Yega’s patio is such a fun place to be. Their food is delicious, too. :) Kiran’s Indian is amazing too. Oh and the Rothko Chapel – it’s open to all and it’s beyond incredible, especially if you like his work. As a fellow NOLA gal who currently lives in N. Texas, I still miss the culture of New Orleans, and also know that you can’t beat the people and food in Houston. It’s a fantastic city and I hope you enjoy your time there. ??
Alexis
First time poster, though I’ve followed JTB for years. Thanks for modeling how to take a break! It’s so important to give ourselves permission and some grace to step away from work. Cheers to that!
And as a Texan, who now lives on the East Coast, the thing I miss most about Texas (besides my family & Tex-Mex) is HEB. Glorious Howard Edward Butt. Nothing comes close. Enjoy it!
Joy the Baker
Hi Alexis! I’m so glad you said hello. Now that I know – I can never move from HEB. It’s just such a blessing.
Cynthia
I’ve missed you Joy, but we all deserve time off. Enjoy making your new home yours.
Catherine
HEB is the best! Enjoy learning your way around if you haven’t gone yet, also check out Central Market that is owned by HEB.
I was purged some years ago, and it took a long time to get over, so I wish you the best in that process. I am excited to see where your journey takes you. I have been an follower of yours since 2009 and I appreciate you sharing your life and recipes.
Joy the Baker
Oh Central Market can take my whole paycheck and they certainly try! It’s so good! Thanks for the kindness Catherine! I’m so glad we’re here together!
Patty
Congratulations on your move to Houston. Totally have H?E?B envy. Just know that if you ever move away it will be one of the things you miss most (unless you move somewhere with Wegmans). Take care, and don’t stress, that’s all the advice I can give as a 14x mover.
Joy the Baker
Unless I’m moving to Wegmans I’m never leaving HEB. Hahhaha.
Teddi
Hello from sunny Saint Jean de Luz, France. We’re at the Hotel de la Plage enjoying our third floor balcony view of the beach. Depending on the circumstances, don’t write the friendship off. In a few years, if it was strong enough, one of you will each out. I am 71 years old and some friendships will survive almost anything, given time. Love your blog. Looking forward to your holiday magazine.
Tiberia
I needed to hear that. I let go of a relationship with a person I thought I was close to for many many years, and I’m not even sure the other person realizes I am gone. I’ll give it a few more years :) (Seriously – thank you!)
V
I had a pickle flavored snow cone in Houston a few weeks ago, so yeah there are definitely pickle people out there. Hope to see the pickle popsicle post on the blog soon.
Joy the Baker
Pickle snow cone, YES!
Joy the Baker
You’re so right, Teddi – TIME! I’ve left the door open and it will stay open forever. Enjoy that French balcony. My goodness what a dream!
Megan
I feel you on the friend purged. It happened to be with a long term friend and zero communication a few years back and it threw me for a loop for awhile. It can be strange and weird and jarring, and I hope you’re getting through it alright.
Joy the Baker
It can be rather jarring but I will certainly get through it just fine. I’m a gemini. I don’t dwell.
Lin
Congratulations and I hope you will love your new home Joy! I love HEB! I live in Tennessee and every time I go to visit our friends in Texas, I bring home foods from there that we can’t get here. I hope Tron is adjusting to the new place.
Sarah
Thank you for putting your Sunday links out into the world! Wishing you a happy transition to Houston and getting to know your HEB aisles. I’m a female reader from Oklahoma, and I’ve been thinking a lot about the ambition article since last Sunday’s post. I’m so glad it’s a movement for us to want more than what we’ve had. Beyonce told us to build our own foundation so let’s goooo!
xoxo
Joy the Baker
She knows and I’ve got my hammer out. (Is that what we need, a hammer!?)
Emily
I hope you’re doing ok in relation to the friend purge, but also hope posting about it here and sharing the article doesn’t make the situation worse/unsalvageable.
Joy the Baker
I say exactly what I want to say here, you know?
Ashley English
I watched that video of Shane on drums last week over and over again, sobbing through it each time. He was absolutely working through something there. So powerful to witness!
And I feel you on the sudden, abrupt friend purge. I gotta say, in most cases, I’m not a fan. I’m a big believer instead in having the hard talks. They’re difficult, of course, but they truly elicit growth from all parties involved.
Betsi Campbell
Sometimes friendships end. That’s life.
Joy the Baker
Always always have a hard talk if there is a hard talk to be had! I’m so with you!
Lynn Rams
Welcome to Houston!
Joy the Baker
Thank you Lynn!
Lexus
When I tell you I cried at that Foo Fighters clip I do NOT mean ? I mean ??? like a real guttural cry. His son!!!!!!!