Hope is the thing with feathers/That perches in the soul/And sings the tune without the words/And never stops/at all – Emily Dickinson
That is what hope feels like right now. So light it could fly away at any moment, so slight it could slip through your fingers. Despite its weight, or lack thereof, it’s solid through and through. I have to believe hope, that feathered slight thing, will be the thing that pulls through. I was supposed to write last week’s Sunday post, but I couldn’t. My feathery version of hope was nowhere to be found last week, but it didn’t leave, despite feeling that it did.
Sitting in therapy this past week, my therapist asked, “What is giving you hope?” and I automatically answered, “Time. Hope that things will not always be this way.” Not gonna lie, I surprised myself with that answer. What am I, a scholar?!
This week, I’ve decided to divvy up the Sunday post into my favorite things that are getting me by right now. Feel free to chime in with yours, I love chatting in the comments with you!
Favorite Books
• TJ Klune is one of my favorite authors, and continually writes queer centered fantasy fiction. I’m in the midst of reading his sequel, “Somewhere Beyond the Sea,” and I can tell it might make me cry. (Bookshop)
• I love Stanley Tucci an abnormal amount. I’m sure it’s the same level as everyone else, though. I am TOO excited to read his newest book, and also love how much he loves food. A handsome man that loves food – perfect in its simplicity. Of course, he is a celebrated, awarded actor who kills every role he plays but that’s just icing on his proverbial cake. (Bookshop)
Favorite Music
• I’ve found it. I’ve found music that sounds like Sunday. Start with “Sinking Boat” and then start the album from the beginning. This music deserves a record player, plants, blankets, and your favorite drink. (Spotify)
• Lo-fi sounds had its heyday, but I really enjoy the low stakes beats. Somehow it allows my brain to focus on what I’m doing without the urge to sing and harmonize. Okay, that actually relaxes me, but I still love a good lo-fi focus moment especially when I need to write. I also find it’s incredible to clean to. (YouTube)
Favorite Comfort Foods
• It’s too bad Joy has no comfort food. A shame, really. It’s also a shame that I’m a bold faced liar. What do you need, pumpkin muffins? Of course you do. Salad has become comfort food for me lately and this is both a salad and a tart combined. And there’s always chicken that will garner a partner, or so I’ve heard. (Joy the Baker, Instagram)
• It’s full swing holidays at Trader Joe’s. Perhaps take a stroll around the aisles and let Mr. Joseph tell you what you need. If you need a guide, you might find a few things here, hmm? (Joy the Baker)
• Am I alone in craving a really good burger from time to time? I’m sure this means I’m low on iron, especially since this craving hits around that time of the month. Deb’s “Fake Shack” burger is the perfect foil to my craving. In my book, smash burgers are the best burgers. Is it a Chicago thing? Not sure, but I’m for it. (Smitten Kitchen)
Thought Provoking Favorites
• As someone who would love to live abroad, cannot do so, also recognizes the privilege in being able to move abroad, and the incredible irony about moving abroad from the US (whew!), this article was so interesting to read. (Cup of Jo)
• Addressing the question I’ve been avoiding, “Do you have hope?” and how do you find it? (The New Yorker)
Vibes
• My girlfriend Bre got me into scam podcasts, which sounds wild. Podcasts like Scamfluencers and Scam Goddess have me riveted, mostly at how gullible people are. I cannot get enough! (Wondery, Apple Podcasts)
• I blame/thank Joy for putting me onto Charlotte Stone shoes, and I need. these. boots!!! (Charlotte Stone)
• Lastly, live footage of my cat, Charlie Brown, at 3AM. (Instagram)
30 Responses
Omg, I just listened to I Want You Back by Infinity Song and absolutely love it!! It’s snowing here so it seems like the perfect day to cozy up and listen to something new and lovely -thanks!
I’m always thankful for your words, Abby.
I just found a new YA series that I’m very excited about. I went to the library to pick up my holds yesterday (before my salpingectomy today because I don’t trust the next administration) and also grabbed a book from the librarian curated shelves up front: Into The Bright Open – A Secret Garden Remix by Cherie Dimaline. It’s part of a series of “classic” books, retold by marginally excluded authors. This one is set in Canada and is the same plot as the original, but with such delightful changes. The Great Gatsby one has me very interested as well (I hate the og book, but do love the SparkNotes memes) – it’s about two trans boys (Jay and Nick) in opulent 1920s.
The last couple of weeks, I’ve tried to find something not political to cry with/about/for every day. I watched tick, tick…boom, I listened to RENT, I watched several “the dogs were good this week” round up videos. Gotta get those tears out without completely crushing my soul.
Thank you for the links, as always. I’m excited to add this lofi radio to my “no lyrics getting work done” playlists (usually it’s rainy day at coffee shops, but one actually rainy days here in Seattle, I don’t like to drown out the real stuff).
Hello and welcome back after taking some time for yourself. Relaxing, having therapy and a reset are always respected and warranted. Deep breathes girl; we got you here. I too needed a break last week. Full on Fall mode here and Lo-Fi girl has been on my rotation for years now. The new jazzy set is great for an evening wind down.
Smash burgers are great with melty cheese and most burgers are an occasional guilty pleasure.
I love your posts, Abby, thank you. My go-to quote these days (well since the 2016 election) has been “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” Dr MLK Jr. It’s literally somewhere in every room of my house!
“Somewhere Beyond the Sea” is the best book I’ve read this year, and I recommend it to everyone who crosses my path. No one writes dialogue better than TJ Klune! I laughed so much, and yes, shed a few tears.
Abby,
Thank you for a wonderful post. You have encouraged me to hope even in the face of despair; thank for putting so many of my thoughts into words. I am loving the Sunday music…I would never have found this wonderful sound on my own. Have a peaceful week.
Hi Abby, Thank you so much for your post about hope and trying to cope. I’m right there with you. I think about living abroad, if it is possible. I try not to think about worst case scenarios, but sometimes I go there.
Putting my head down and working on personal projects has been my approach for these last weeks. Connecting with friends and family. Escaping into television series: I devoured Lydia Poët and The Diplomat in no time. Now looking for the next escape. If only there was more Schitt’s Creek.
I’m looking forward to listening to the music you recommend and to reading the NY article about hope.
Be well. Have a hamburger. I might have one soon.
Abby, thank you for the lovely post today, just the right reminders about hope. Especially appreciate the “new to me” music of Infinity Song, indeed their latest album is perfect for Sunday afternoon & a bit of peace ahead of the week ahead.
Abby –
Not a lot to offer but to say I’m devastated too, but even more for so many friends and families who face serious obstacles and uncertain futures. Good for knowing you needed to step aside for you and yours. Fantasizing a lot lately about moving abroad, indeed!
And thanks for the reminder on that beautiful tart – I’m thinking of ways to make that a winter beauty – acorn or butternut squash, onions, cranberries …
Absolute banger of a post, no notes. We love a lofi moment.
Delightful post today. Hope is the thing with feathers. I needed that reminder today. That and a reminder of all the cozy comfort goodies Joy delivers :) Recently I’m finding hope that the country is getting back on track. And that there may be a possible end to the wars. Hope that maybe, we’ll be gentle with each other and understanding of our differences. I have this hope that we’re on the way to the place where we don’t agree on everything or share the same points of view and we’re ok with it. We can still have lunch with that friend, or fly next to that passenger. That we can exist, love, care, thrive, and excel in our differences. That’s my hope.
Beautifully put Sami, thank you for this!!
Please explain to us how…the further oppression of women, blatant and overt racism on every corner in America, rampant destruction of our already fragile environment, severed ties with our global allies, assault rifles available to anyone, the dumbing down of our education system, tax breaks for the very rich, the terrible mistreatment of our immigrants, etc. etc. is hope that our “country is getting back on track.” with this new administration. No, we are not ok with these differences.
That hope flew right out the window on November 5th! We are heartbroken and now the anger is starting to seep through..which isn’t good but 1/2 of this country will know what that’s like when they realize they’ve been duped by the biggest con man on the planet. Twice!
My previous comment was in reply to Sami. It didn’t post as such.
Abby, what a wonderful intro and collection of links. I deeply needed all of them. Thank you!
Thank you for your thoughts on hope. They were a balm this morning, to read that someone else thinks as I do.
This is the “Let It Be Sunday” I needed! Thanks for the reminder that Hope is a fragile and beautiful thing we all need.
Good morning Abby! Wow, wow, wow, Wow! Thank you so much for this post. It was so beautiful and poetic. Thank you so much for taking last weekend to take care of yourself! Thank you for your truth. Be gentle with yourself!
Something that has been salve for me a Black, queer woman. Was Lynae Vanee’s post election parking lot post about giving her permission to take time and about what hope means to her. I was crying so hard. It was exactly what I needed to hear. She also gives some book recommendations. I found the video on Leslie Jones’ instagram which is also such a sunny, beautiful and hopeful spot. So my shout out/recommendation goes to Leslie f*cking Jones and Lynae Vanee. Highly recommend <3 Take care of your self sis-sending you much love.
I loooove love Lynae. She always has the right words! Take care of you too <3
Hey how did you also get footage of MY cat 30 minutes before my alarm goes off?
It’s the universal curse of owning a cat LOL
Love infinity song. Have followed them for years and then 2 years ago while walking through Central Park, heard an amazing voice. It was Abraham Boyd (one of the sibling members of the group) singing solo with a portable speaker to anyone who wanted to listen in the Bethesda Terrace. He had such a stunning voice and we chatted with him for quite awhile. Super nice guy. So happy to see their success.
Ah! That’s so cool!! Their voices sound so buttery smooth they’re so lovely
Hi Abby—I love Infinity’s Song. Started following them on social media several years ago. Then a couple of years ago while on a work trip to NYC, I was walking through central park with a friend and we heard this amazing singing coming from under Bethesda Terrace.
It was Abraham Boyd singing solo under the amazing tiled roof of the Terrace to whoever came by and wanted to listen. We were stunned by his voice and being two of a handful of people listening. We had a great chat when it was over and I was so excited to tell him I knew who he was from following IS on social media.
And IS is blowing up. I just saw pics of them playing in front of a large crowd in London. So happy for them.
Hi Abby! Thank you for your openness and vulnerability about when you can’t do something. It feels good as a reader to know that sometimes the people who seem like they’re doing everything also can’t (like me).
Just a few thoughts: I also love a burger from time to time, especially around my period. I’ve tried eating lots of spinach or other vegetarian alternatives that are supposed to curb cravings for iron but I genuinely just feel like I need to eat red meat, that’s kind of a little bloody, occasionally.
I am an American who moved abroad 2.5 years ago, to London. I thought about moving initially in 2016, I have a friend and her husband who live in Edinburgh, but it wasn’t the right time. Living internationally and going through the immigration process is something that has been wonderful and also stretched the limits of my being. I came for a job that no longer exists and have married a Brit but the insecurity of being an immigrant is a weight I did not fully understand until I went through it. It is also exorbitantly expensive, especially if you’re doing it on your own, I.e. not with a company footing the bill. I love my life here and it has been easier for me to live but it is also incredibly difficult.
Sending love and hugs.
Hi Taylor! Just wanted to reach out to you to say if you ever need a friend to lend an ear through those tough times, you can talk to me. I’m a brit living in the north, but who also went through the immigration process of living in the US several years ago… one word to sum up that entire process… WOOBOI! I absolutely loved living in the US but the immigration process was so intense, intimidating & abrasive. anyway, here if you need a friend. I’m sure we can figure out contact swap info. :) Alexis
Hi Alexis! Wow, thank you so much ?. That would be so nice, honestly. I have a good support system but there is an immediate connection I’ve found with people who have also gone through immigration because they just GET IT. Wooboi is it exactly ? we joked about saving some of the money we got for our wedding in a high-yield savings account and by the time my husband ever got a us visa, it might be something ?. My insta handle is taytertot66, if you want to dm me there and we can go from there. ? Thank you again.
Taylor! I hope you saw the reply to your comment and are able to find some camaraderie in London. Moving can feel so isolating and we truly all need friends, especially now. Find me on instagram @abbyblujay and I’ll keep up with you!!
I saw it! I actually already follow you ? ???? because I’m a nerd and lived in Chicago for eight years and your p?czki story made me so happy. I’m at taytertot66, named for the potatoes. ??
Oh god, I used a bunch of emojis and it turned them into question marks, lol.