If you’re turning twenty one (21!!) today… May 7, 2011, I’d like to humbly offer you some advice, as your elder of 9 whopping years.
I know you’re not asking for advice. ย I know I’m not an expert at life… ย I just have a few gems I want you to take with you.
One: ย Raw honey and baking soda make a really lovely face scrub. ย True. ย Try it!
Two: ย Eat something green everyday.
Three: ย Chill out on the Facebook. ย Seriously. ย It’s not real life.
Four: ย Learn how to sew something. ย Anything. ย At least learn how to sew your buttons back on your shirts.
Five: ย If your button up shirt is bulging at the boobs… wear another shirt. ย OR, just unbutton that button. ย We’re talking exposed bra. ย You’ll need to wear a necklace or two if you’re going to go this route. ย You’re also going to need to walk tall and own it…. and stay away from public transportation.
Six: ย Make lists on Post-It notes and knock em out, cross em off, get things done.
Seven: ย Look people in the eye and listen when they speak. ย It’s a nice touch. ย It’s the opposite of Facebook.
Eight: ย Is your resting face… the expression that you have when you’re just hanging out watching Real Housewives of Orange County… is that face bitchy? ย Change that. ย Try not to look bitchy when you’re just hanging out.
Nine: ย Don’t drink too much rum… ever.
Ten: ย Don’t be one of those girls that carries one of those long, giant cocktail cups around the streets of Las Vegas. ย It really gives the wrong impression. ย You’ll also have to pee a lot.
Eleven: ย If a guy is a jerk, he’s dead to you. ย You don’t need that bologna. ย Eat an ice cream cone and move the heck on.
Twelve: ย Don’t do stupid things that relate to booze, boys, nudity, and consequences. ย Keep it together. ย Drink more water than booze. ย Sloppy is never cute.
Thirteen: ย What’s important? ย Make a list. ย Honor it.
Fourteen: ย Pull your hair back and wear pretty earrings. ย Own it.
Fifteen: ย Make things for people.
Sixteen: ย Don’t be afraid of being overdressed. ย Dresses are pretty and heels are awesome. ย But! ย If the heels make you walk like a robot… go with flats. ย Know thyself.
Seventeen: ย Boxes of cold cereal and a carton of milk make a strange and kinda funny hostess gift. ย Coco Puffs and 2 percent. ย Try it.
Eighteen: ย Buy your friends random gifts… it’s just a nice thing to do.
Nineteen: ย Don’t be afraid of looking dumb, asking a stupid question, falling on your face, getting rejected, ripping off your shirt on a crowded street, or being otherwise embarrassed. ย We’ll be dead soon.
Twenty: ย Put it on the Lord. ย Good. ย Bad. ย Pretty. ย Messy. ย Put it all on the Lord. ย Now… I know I don’t know you like that but… I’m just sayin’.
TwentyOne: ย Work hard at the thing that you love. ย Like… really hard. ย Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s dumb. ย If they do tell you it’s dumb… work harder and prove them wrong. ย But don’t rub it in their face- just be gracious, and wear expensive lipstick, and smile, and keep working.
500 Responses
It helps a lot i just turned 21
Best. Blog. Post. Ever! I love #19 the most, I printed it out and hung it on my bulletin board. You’re awesome, I love you and what you do!
I just love you Joy. Thanks for doing what you do. You make so many girls and women smile and inspire us everyday. You ARE the cat’s pajamas. Thank you.
Excellent advice! I wish more people understood how important eye contact is in conversation.
HI Joy– Hoping you even find this comment in the forest of comments you’ve got going here. I’m coming up on 61 –way on past 21 and I couldn’t agree with your well intentioned advice more. Especially the part about putting it all on the Lord. Seriously, how else do you get through a life with any real hope? So glad to be able to pop into your blog when I need to smile or bake…
Thanks
thanks for stopping by Rhonda!
Love! Noted. Thank you :]
Just found this past thanks to your link in today’s post, and I LOVE IT. And I’m not even 21 – I’m freakin’ 26, but still appreciated the gems here. Esp love the last one. ;) Thanks, Joy!
I am thirty two, but thank you for tip # 21. I needed to hear that. I think everyone does at one point or another. But I would have to go with really expensive mascara instead of the lipstick:)
Joy, I love you.
My girlcrush is huge. Gem 21 will be my motto for the time coming.. Thank you for you funny and wise advise
I absolutely loved this post. I’m going to put a link to this in my next blog post because your list is just dead on. 21 is a crazy year
I had some serious overalls in grade 9. The question is: one strap or two? Love this little giveaway.
Joy, I know you write this almost a year ago, and I read it and loved it then when I had just turned 22. Today is my 22nd birthday and I came searching for this advice to start my new year! Love it. So applicable. Always.
Box of cereal and 2% milk. This thought intrigues me.
This list is wonderful, Joy. I wish I had it when I was 21. I’ve just turned 29 and I’m staring down 30. Any advice to turning 30?
Kate
Love this post. :)
I’m reading The Happiness Project too! Pretty good book! I’m also reading “An Abundance of Katherine’s” by John Green. I’m newly obsessed with his books.
Still awkward and fifteen, love to bake, and I’m so gonna follow this when I am twenty one!
Love this post. One of the best blog posts I’ve read. Some fun and great advice there. Love #16. There’s nothing like dressing up . . . even if you’re just going to the grocery store.
Best post EVER!!! I thought so the first time you posted it and sometimes I just go back to read it cause I love it. Thank you for being awesome!
We have the same birthday! Lots of love to you, Sister Taurus!
#20 – TRUTH! No one loves you like He does…NO ONE!
Love number twenty. All of these are wise! :)
Oh man. Wish I’d read this list 6 years ago.
Absolutely perfect timing for me to read this. Being that I am 21 (plus 9) just makes it even more perfect!! :D #20 is what I’m shooting for every day. Can’t wait to read more of your blog! lovely!
You are terrific. Totally. So, so smitten with your blog. It makes me smile, it makes me salivate and inspires me to get busy in the kitchen. Keep on keepin’ on Sister and a big high five from (another) new fan :)
i love this!!! so true. my roommates are always making fun of me b.c. i like weird stuff (for a college kid), like veggies (more than pizza or tacos or s.t), dimmed lights (like when you first get up and are cooking breakfast in a dim-lit, quiet kitchen… it’s paradise!, and music pretty much rules my life. call me weird, but i love all those things!
once again, thanks for another wonderful post! you’re awesome :)
Hi. I think I just fell in love with you a little bit.
I’m turning 21 on tomorrow and I will definitely keep all your words of wisdom in mind :) Thanks, Joy! Also, did you know that you inspired me to start my own baking blog? Thanks for that too :)
:)
This was perfect! My boyfriend turns 21 tomorrow and I used some of your advice and edited it to put in his card. Thanks for your unintentional help! Keep on blogging! :D
Ahhh lovely advices, Im only 16, but I will take it into account (: loveeee your blog, and recently I am becoming in something like a … baker lol
I needed to read this list today, even at 25. confidence is definitely a key attribute.
Just found this and cracking up laughing over some of your advice. Great advices btw, even for the non-21 year olds, even one approaching the 40s, great reminders of what’s important.
I would add one thing:
MOISTURIZE!! EVERY DAY. I wish I had realized the importance of this when I was 21. Now I’m a wrinkled 50 something. Exercise every day is just as important to your life happiness, but it sounds like boring advice.
I would take one thing out: #20 is bogus. Never mind imaginary friends. Take responsibility for your own life. If you don’t like it, change it. As you say repeatedly, own it.
I love your blog and am so happy I found it. You have a great way of putting words on things! Wishing you all the best!
Joy, i love you <3 ^_^
fan.tas.tic.
I love number 20. And 4 & 7. Great advice Joy. Wish I had all those when I was 21.
if only jerks could see eaasily be swapped with ice cream cones. Love this set of rules! Especially the bra thing. People – please!
Those advice of you out there are all AWESOME.. You may say that you’re not good at life, but as I read your blog, you seem to embrace the reality about life. Those advice are all appropriately true for someone who’s turning 21.
#8.
Yes.
Hi. My friend introduced me to your blog when I was asking him for suggestions to bake something.
And I came across this post.
Loved it. I am going to do #13. :)
Hi Joy! I just turned 21 in February so I consider this post somewhat relevant to myself. Thanks for sharing such great advice. I don’t drink, smoke, party, or hook up, and a lot of people my age always think I’m a weirdo because I’m like that. It’s so hard to stick to standards that no one else seems to keep and I just want to thank you for publicly coming out and saying it is totally OKAY to not do stupid things, and that the whole “You gotta do it while you’re young” argument is just totally an excuse. Thanks again!
giiiirl! hold onto yourself! you’re golden!
hye joy~
i just recently discovered your blog thru a friend!its great!do you mind if i share some of the very relevant advices you gave here=)(with credits of course!)
yasmin
Hannah, I’m proud of you! Just sayin’! Keep it up! It’s all worth it :)
Give it a few years and you’ll feel totally normal instead of like a sore thumb. Believe me – you’ve got a headstart! I was/am the same as you and it’s gotten me so much farther in life. Standards and discipline are very good to have, and so is grace for those who don’t have them yet :)
You are the best. I am so glad that I found your website!!!
This advice is both hilarious and accurate. :D
So. Perfectly. True. All of it. I’m forty-seven and I said, “Hell yeah!” to every one of those perfect pieces of truth. Well, except for the first one, which I did not know about, so I will try it!
The only thing I’d have on my list is, “Be kind. Sometimes it’s hard to do with some folks, but you never know what happened to make them like that. If you’re kind to them, their shit won’t stick to you.”
Love it. Thank you!
ZGTJ
LOVE IT! Awesome post!
I’m turning 21 this Saturday (the 21st!) and I also obsessively read your blog. This post couldn’t have been more timely. Thanks for the advice — I’m sure I’ll need it! :)
Where was that list when I was 21?!?
Now, we 30 year olds need a list from a 40 year old…..
Best young adult advice list I’ve ever read. Funny and too true!
Great advice!! Nothing like laughing out loud at your cube during lunch hour!! Rock on Joy!!
Joy, I was shown your site just today by a good baking friend of mine. With my own 21st right around the corner, it was great to read this post. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom, and the will to bake again. I can’t wait to put my hands in the dough (after I peel myself away from your site that is…its amazing how fast the last few hours have gone!)
Thanks again Joy, you have made my life that much happier : D
If only you’d told me #11 when I turned 21! That could’ve saved a lot of trouble ;)
Awesome list – I wish I had read it sooner, ha! The lovely Krystal of Village lead me here and I’m so glad… fantastic blog!
First I said, “Hey Mom! This is my most favorite blog. Listen to this…” I read to her some of your advice. She said, “That’s really good.”
I read some more: “She sounds like you.”
I kept reading, “I want to be her friend!” Ha! I agree!
Awesome blog.
Gorgeous pictures.
Awesome *you*!
Thank you.
awesome. honest heart felt advice that just happens to be true
warm fuzzies :)
yeah… my bachelorette party is a clear “second!” on number nine.
I’ll add: take time for yourself. once a week, read by yourself, take a jog by yourself, anything. if you’re not comfortable being with yourself, it’s time for some change.
Love, loved this! Fun and packed with truth.
Finally catching up on my reading! I love #20. It’s hard; I still struggle with this 18 years after my 21st birthday. But sage advice!
And seriously, if you can’t walk in heels, leave them behind. Life will present you with plenty of other opportunities to look ridiculous.
I am officially in {love} with you. I loved this list. Your now loyal follower. Kim B.
Just a great post, Joy. I obviously enjoy your cooking posts. But I almost like this type of post even more – the ones that reveal your great character.
how I miss the turning-twenty-one part of life…
this made me smile, thank you joy!
I love this, Joy! I teared up a little bit. ;)
I agree, you are ridiculously wise! I’m only seventeen, so hopefully this will catch on before I reach twenty-one? Especially the eating an ice cream cone and getting over it part! :)
this is so clever and funny ^^, ill def try the face scrub
i love this. brilliant and oh so true. very inspirational and exactly what i needed on this very emotional morning i am having.
thanks joy :)
Love your blog, hope you had a great bd!!
You are wise — you nailed the “resting face” so important to try to look at least pleasant or least not evil.
Great advice for any age! Thanks for sharing.
Oh Joy! :) this is so nice. I am turning 31 next week and would still love to take all these advise for a 21 year old! Love your blog and recipes! :)
Thank you, especially for #21. We all need to be reminded of that.
This is amazing! And true!! I would have loved to have felt this way at 21. 25 is pretty darn close though :)
I am turning 21 on the 20th. Now I have something to look forward to. :)
Loved, loved, LOVED this post Joy!! Thank you so much for reminding me of what’s important and to be myself! I can struggle with taking chances and putting things on the Lord, so thank you :-)
Excellent advice — you are wise beyond your years! As someone who passed 21 more than twenty years ago (and actually is now mom to a 21 yr old), I can say that I wish someone had given me advice like that long ago. But you live and you learn. I would add the following:
1. Spend time with your kids whenever they want you to.
2. Spend time with your girlfriends at least once a week.
3. Spend time with your husband everyday.
4. Drink good wine.
5. Eat chocolate. Preferably in the company of good wine and girlfriends.
That’s it. There’s not much else that really matters.
At my 27 years of existence, I absolutely take the advice! Thanks joy for making my days enjoyable :)
You should totally change your name from joy , to ‘ spreading joy’.
Love you. Love your blog.
Oh so very wise thou art Joy the Baker. As someone who is turning 41 in August, I can tell you that is some seriously sound advice. Ever thought of publishing that list as a greeting card?
Such wonderful words of wisdom, Joy! Having recently joined the 30 (!) club myself, I wish I knew then what I know now.
That is such a fab list, probably good to hear at any age! You and my little sis share birthdays on that happy note, Happy Belated B-day!!!
I enjoyed reading this! Great advice! :)
This is the best “any-kind-of-list” I’ve seen in a while! I really wouldn’t mind being gifted with cocoa pops and milk :-)
as Your elder of 33 days, i say rock on with the very good advice, joy. and welcome to the (fake old) club.
Will you be my friend? So many things about this post made me laugh out loud. So awesome.
This is my favorite post of yours thus far; rivaled by the 30 things:)
thank you for being a voice of beauty and simplicity and truth in society…especially on a cooking/life blog!
Jessica-Lauren
looove it! u make me smile!
I can’t believe we share a birthday! I turned 18 this saturday, so we both had milestone birthdays! I hope you enjoyed your day as much as I did. :)
Awesome…even at 32 years old this advice is great. Love number Six…I really need to do that tonight! Thanks for sharing these little gems.
love.
amazing. i wish i had some of this advice at twenty-one. but it’s never too late to grow up and learn is it?
Some of these made me smile and most of these ar great advise, however, I don’t eat anything green…ever. Maybe I should just dye some of my food green; would that count?
eat an ice cream cone and move the heck on…i’m going to use that one! love the list
This is a great advice for any age (though having it at 21 would’ve given me more of a head start)! As usual, you’re a fantastic read, Joy. ^_^ (PS I will totally take your hair-back-cute-earrings advice. Also, second on the too-much-rum advice @.@).
You are very wise.
such an awesome post that i had to share with my facebook friends. i hope they check out your blog! very cool.
Hey Joy! BIG fan of your blog… and cooking! Just turned 21 this year and I can def say I’ve done a lot on your list already =]
Hey Joy – I’m big into organization but my to-do list was bogging me down. Doing daily lists on Post-its is so much better. Thanks for the great tip!
What a great post! I could completely relate! I’m 29 and certainly “did” some of the “don’ts”. But it looks like I still got a lot of of “dos” to get done! Listen closely 21yr olds to be there’s quite a lot of wisdom packed into that post. ENJOY!
Love, love, love this list!! Just shy of 8 years past 21, I needed a refresher lesson too. :)
This is beautifully written and very inspiring. You rock my socks off. Yep…it’s true. :)
this is so sweet. :D
Well, where in the heck is Brittany, the Birthday Girl? I hope not in Vegas with a giant cocktail cup in her hand.
*love*
Wow Joy….this is truly inspirational and like so many other readers I wish I could have heard this when I was so much younger…I guess 24 will have to do…better late then never! Thankyou so very much <3
what a perfect way to start a monday!
This is awesome! You are awsome & so is Brittney…oh to be 21 again!
mmmmm… Bulleit is my whiskey of choice. Loverly words for a woman coming of age. High Five!
i just turned 30 a couple of months ago too, and i can definitely say that i second just about every one of your recommendations for 21-year-olds!! if only i had known half of what i know now back then…but i guess then i wouldn’t have learned a lot in the last nine years.
This is my new favorite post! You are hilarious and dead on. And super thoughtful to take the time to put it together!
Good advice…even for me at 21×2+8! :)
Awesome post!! Made my Monday!
i’m 27.5 and agree with all of the above. loves it!
This is perfect. I just turned 21 yesterday (May 8th). Now, today, I feel like death, but this is totally easing the pain. :)
This list is perfect!
a good list to read and think about from time to time. life is too short to be anything than yourself. no excuses.?
19 and 20 were my favorites!!! You’re a badass lady inspiring other badasses nation/world wide. Thanks Joy!
totally fabulous post. feels as though we are having a conversation! I am 20 years your senior but I can relate to this!
Great post, Joy! #21 is my fav, and oh so true! I wish you were blogging & shared these wise words of wisdom when I was 21.
You could speak no truer words Joy! (and I’ll have to now try to make my own face scrub!)
Thanks for being fabulous! Your blog always brightens my day!
Also true at age 47. Love #17 – I’m going to try that!
Really sound advice. Have sent this on to my two teenage daughters… hopefully since it is NOT from me, they will take some of it in.
Love Love Love it! Joy, you live up to your name.
Love, love, love this post, Joy! Fantastic. Especially #8…ha! We do the strangest things without realizing it!
Keep it up…we love following you!
i turned 21 a while ago, but i love love love this post!
Where were you for my 21 yr old self? Thankfully, I learned from my mistakes. Love, love, love this post!
My twin daughters just turned 13 last week… I think they need to read this NOW. Thanks Joy =)
I would have loved to read this when I turned 21 rather than now, being 22 going on 23 (what happened to this year?…), but it’s just as great of advice as it would have been. #19 is timeless. I could benefit from hearing that year after year.
I’m going to save this and re-read it for every birthday I celebrate! Words of wisdom, for reals.
I wish I had of read this when I was 18 – could’ve saved me a lot of hassle! Thankfully those days are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind me… like at least 15!
Very well said! Very, VERY well said!!! Pay attention young ladies, she’s so SO on the friggin money with this post (coming from someone who’s a tad over 21 but remembers 21 well…..uh, well – kind of well).
its one of the most beautiful things ever written… thank you … and HBD brittany
I shared this post with my 4 best ladies. You are a wise woman, Joy. I am a lucky 20 year old who has friends that practice most of these things on a regular basis. I really enjoyed reading this, and kind of want to print it out to read everyday as a reminder of how to be a better human. You are great.
I’ve never read anyone who sounds like me before.
Great advice!
You just rock, ‘nuf said.
That was a *great* post.
Saving this to show my niece. In 8 years.
Joy, this is fabulous! All things I wish I knew at 21 but could not agree with more now! Brittany is a lucky girl! Thanks for sharing!
It’s my 20th birthday in approximately 41 minutes and these commandments made me feel happy and not so scared about growing older. Thanks!
#Twenty: AWESOME!!!! It is so true. I’ve given it to God since I was five and I have a lifetime of knowing this to be true! He has never let me down. Not once. Peace woman~
Awesome tips. These are good for people of any age, I think. ^_^
I will be turning 21 in just a few weeks and LOVED this post – it definitely made me smile! I appreciate the advice :) Great post!
Great post! I happen to think this appropriate for all women. And that maybe we should learn some of these things before we turn 21… just sayin’ ;)
xx
Also works for women of an uncertain age. ;-)
I laughed so hard I almost peed (and I haven’t been drinking)!
oh my gosh.
i freakin’ loved this post.
i’m turning 21 soon and taking everything you said to heart.
this is why this is my favorite blog :)
Great advice and a very sweet gesture. I love this blog.
As and upcomer 21er, I deeply thank you. Love reading you! (And kinda love Kelsey now too).
Excellent words of wisdom!!!
Joy, you have the most amazing voice (written, that is). Your blog is completely addictive — not just for the food + photography, but also because your writing is just so dang smart + funny. Btw, your list is totally rad.
Joy, will you post your finished 30 things in 30 years list? Whenever your bday is, I hope you spend it with something chocolate … and your little monster. ;) Thanks for all the smiles. I want to be as good a blogger as you someday.
Courtney
yes yes yes i will post that 30 before 30 list. i’m off track, but i’m totally getting there!
What an awesome list! Very cool. I’m 7 years older than you…wondering if there are some things I know that I could pass along to you! I’ll give that some thought. In the meantime, let me just tell you that I’ve loved my 30s even more than my 20s. It just keeps getting better and better…
Joy, I love this!
Happy Birth- nah, I’m just kidding. ;)
Great list, Joy!
who knew I could love you more? this list absolutely rocks – re-twittering and facebooking now, if only because girls need to read this list – hell – we all need to read this list!
xx
I love all 21 pieces of advice, especially 16! Joy you are just awesome. This is going on my fridge :)
I’m interested in this raw honey and baking soda scrub. How much honey and how much baking soda? I gotsta try this…my husband put me on skin care spending lockdown. :)
1 tablespoon of raw honey mixed with 2 teaspoons (heaping is fine) of baking soda. it’s a milk and moisturizing scrub. i love it!
Thanks, Joy! Can’t wait to try it!
Joy–your name suits you. Today, my biggest inspiration is working hard at what you love. I am in a place where I am just discovering my loves and want to pursue them. Thanks!
I would love you to write about what you love? Is it baking? Is it writing? I would love it if you shared. And maybe you already have. If so, disregard this!
This was just lovely!
This is great advice for any age! Thanks for blogging, I love reading!
excellent advice, i love it! only i have to say that SOME of us don’t have much of a choice with button up shirts, that button will always stretch! the alternative is to wear something that’s much too big and tent-like around the waist. undershirts with open button shirts are a possible solution, but until they start inventing button up shirts for big boobs and tiny waists that actually fit, i can’t promise you any changes!
Oh Joy, where were you when I turned 21? I could have used all your awesome, real-world advice! You are amazing. Thanks for always brightening my inbox!
Nice ^^ Because this is true for 21 year-old people, but it applies to everyone!
Happy Birthday!!!!
I’m only 19 but you definitely have a great ’21’ list here, so many things girls my age need to know + think about!
That’s a beautiful list, Joy. Also for those who are 26. :)
Joy…you’re pure joy! I love the way you write, I love your spirit, I love the way you think!
PS – my sister’s going off to college this year, I’m going to forward this to her.
<3
I’m a couple weeks shy of my 27th birthday, and not only do I echo your sentiments, but I really enjoyed thinking about them in the context of my own life. Thanks for making me smile and take some time to reflect! :)
Such great,true, honest advice. I wish I had followed this at 21, but its never too late to follow good advice, is it ? :)
#5 is my favorite.
And I am a Nearly B.
I am also, now, a dedicated reader.
Joy-
I just really wanted to let you know that I make breakfast polenta every other day now.
It’s your fault..
Thank you so much.
You really are becoming quite the inspiration to a lot of people. I can only hope that one day I can find myself in a similar situation.
Happy Birthday!!!
It’s always so nice to read your posts :)
This morning I made those : https://www.joythebaker.com/blog/2010/06/sour-cream-molasses-bran-muffins/ with fresh blueberries and topped it with crispy beacon and extra molasse
It was AMAZING ! ! !
Thank you for your always inspiring and entertaining posts. Have a blessed day :-)
beautiful post! just beautiful! Happy birthday, Brittany!
Joy, thank you for being awesome – from all of Norway (represented by me I don’t know if the rest of Norway knows your blog yet – but they will, and I’ll tell them I was here first. Well, after you, but you get my drift)
Happy Birthday!
May 7th was my 27th birthday.
So many of those pieces of advice still ring true lol
Happy Birthday Brittany! It’s always fine to have another excuse to eat good food (not that we need excuses).
JOY! I hope you truly had a wonderful birthday!
Thank you for your “21 list” – really made me laugh! Especially loved the one about Facebook… I have nieces and nephews that LIVE FOR THE MOMENT with their iPhones or Androids plastered to their bodies/faces, and are constantly worried they are going to “miss” something. And the DRAMA when something erupts to burst their little bubbleheads. (I call them collectively “bubbleheads,” since they go around with their heads in a fog, eyes pasted to a little box in their hands, thumbs poised to text. Sometimes they even walk into walls! They trip a lot, too, because they are so focused on THE SCREEN!) They can be so funny – but I worry about ’em and traffic, etc.!
I LOVE your recipes! Please keep up the good work… I’m a good deal older than you are, but I still haven’t grown up yet at 62! LOL!!
One question – do you know of a substitute for “coconut?” For some reason, it causes me to break out into horrible itchy hives – no kidding! I even had to give up my yearly treasured Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, because now they are made with PALM OIL (also from palms/coconuts!). I LOVE the taste of coconut, but several years ago developed this “allergy.” And also since palm oil is a cheap product, it is used an awful lot in a LOT of foods. I don’t eat out much, nor use many so-called “convenience” foods, because of this allergy.
Thank you for your patience, and God Bless! ###—-> Kathy S (aka lakotakat)
Joy,
I love, love, LOVE this advice! I am the same age as you and wish someone had had this kind of advice for me. I too have learned most of these things the hard way! The items on this list are truly important for women of any age to keep in mind. Thank You!
Wish I’d figured this out YEARS ago….at 51 I FINALLY GET all these pointers!
Thanks and just think when you are my age you will be one AMAZING Broad!!!
Joy
Love your post, it reminds me of the book “Life’s little instruction book”. We are raising a whole generation that can’t sew/create, can’t communicate and doesn’t seem to want to give God a chance.
Thanks for starting my day out with a laugh. I love the bitchy face comment! I also love how you sprinkle in just a hint of your honest faith! Thank You!
I wish I read that when I was 21 … A very very nice post, really. Happy Birthday, Brittany;)
Ha! Love this – especially the one about laying off of Facebook. It does make people seem like their lives are so much more fantastic with zero probs…. going to make the scrub tomorrow :)
Beautiful. I wish I had this sage wisdom when I was turning 21. I think it’s good for me now, all these 15 years later.
You’re awesome!
Hello Joy,
I’m turning 21 soon and have been having something of a crisis because it seems that I’m meant to be all grown-up now. Now that my morbid fear of Facebook and preference for the most expensive lipstick has been validated I feel much better. So, thank you Joy!
:) Sweet post! Joy is it ok if i liked this post a lil more than all the awesome recipe ones too?? im going to turn 26 soon!! n i want to follow everything on this list too! thank you! :)
What a super post! You are a lovely person, Joy! I love the 21 list and wish I had some one like you who could have guided me like this.
This was so, so sweet. Pure gold, heart and soul.
AH! This is perfect. I love your advice and am taking it with me. As I am turning 21 this Tuesday!! PS I am also making your mothers day brunch recipes for my Mama on Mothers Day! Yay. Love your blog. And I think your really funny.
Your list made me smile! They are all good things to keep in mind no matter what your age.
Agreed!!
Brilliant, Joy! You are wise beyond your years and this made me smile. Thanks!
Joy, this is a great post! I think there should be special advise for every birthday. Not just milestones. Who makes up these ages anyway? I think 27 and 42 should be just as important and symbolic as turning 30 or 40. Now obviously turning 18 and 21 have legal aspects, both ages give you rights that lead to adulthood, but what about 19 and 22? Poor ages need some love, some acknowledgement.
But Brittany is legally able to do a lot of things now, basically anything but rent a car!
Happy Birthday Brittany!
Happy Birthday Joy! Make sure you eat lotsa cake! you deserve every bit of it :)
I always enjoy reading your blog, it is truly inspiring whether it is through the food that you make or the advice that you share :)
Keep it awesome always babe!
p/s: Have a great 21st Brittany!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY! I hope that 30 will be your best year yet!
ps. it’s not my birthday yet.
i turn 21 in 3 days! thank you for this wonderful post!
i have been reading your blog for a long time now, but this is the first time i’ve commented :)
If only I had read this when I turned 21, then next six years wouldn’t have been so weird.
Happy Birthday to my favorite blogger! I know you will celebrate joyfully and well….you should! I will pray blessings on your upcoming year for your continued health and joy! Glad you are doing what you love!
~L
Brilliant Joy! Absolutely brilliant. I wish I would have had these nuggets of wisdom when I was 21 :)
Thank you for this. Its not my brithday and I’m definitely older than 21 but your posts always make smile. You’re a really lovely woman. I just adore you.
Your entries always bring a smile to my face, and often I find myself laughing aloud. Great advice to women of many ages :) Thank you for your sincere vulnerability and transparent self. Have an amazing day in the Lord.
Joy this is a great list. As a southern lady that turned 27 this week, I think you missed a couple.
– Make time every year to put your toes in the sand, soak up the sun and remember life is good
– The best therapy is a girlfriend, some chocolate and a bottle of wine OR a 5 mile run
– Family can drive you crazy but they made you who you are so you probably are a little annoying too
Thanks for the post!
Devout Reader :)…great post ;)
Happy b-day, Joy! You rock!
I’m 24 and this is still the best advice ever. Thanks Joy!
First of all – and maybe most importantly – Happy Birthday Brittany! And of course – not least – wonderful wonderful advice Joy! I wish someone told me these things on my 21st, this really does put a smile on my face. And I totally agree with sixteen – know thyself, own those heels and dresses at any age!!
You touched to me today Joy. Not just the Baker but the the woman who is learning to live life. I found you briiliant this evening,
Best Blog Post ever. I’ll be saving this one for a later time thank you very much! You rock!
Joy, I wish you had been around with this post when I turned 21! I’m pushing 40 now. :) I agree with the others that your words are applicable to any age. Thank you for this gem. My daughter is 9 now, but I am going to print this and save it for her. I love your moxie!
Mind if I print and save this for my youngest step-daughter’s 21st birthday in 3 years? This is awesome. Now that I’m turning 21+ 30 soon I’ll thinking about this sage advice from one pal to another. Thanks for giving us such Joy!
Joy, I LOVE you! I LOVE who you show up to be for your food, your friends, your readers, for LIFE & the world at large! You are absolutely breathtaking as a human being and I wish you (and Brittany) the best of all birthdays!! You inspire me in so many ways. Love & goodness be yours, you deserve it.
Happy Birthday Brittany !!!
Listen to Joy’s advice, you’ll hook a better Man that way. (Emphasis on man, not boy)
That’s just about the best way to live out your 20’s I’ve ever heard. I should know… I’m 30 ;)
I don’t comment often, but I just have to say that I LOVE the real, honest, upbeat way that you write. So refreshing. Especially the part about Facebook! :) Happy, happy birthday from Dallas, Texas!
Happy Birthday! This is such an awesome sentiment! May birthday’s rock (ahem, especially mother’s day birthdays, and ones that are on the 7th or 11th). As long as you keep being who you are (which to me seems pretty awesome!) you’re going to rock 30 like nothing it’s ever seen!
I turned 22 in February so this is a year late but I’m grateful for the advice! Thanks Joy! We love you for being you and sharing bits of yourself!
Hi Joy,
A bit off the topic but I was looking through some of your recipes (amazing) and was wondering what Buttermilk is? I live in New Zealand so I’m guessing we either have another name for it or we just don’t have it!! Wikipedia didn’t really help. Thank you!!!
Buttermilk is a slightly sour milk product. Like yogurt… But more the consistency of milk. I hope that helps.
Oh my god! This was the best read and so freaking true.
Joy …. You did good!
And happy birthday Brittany! Enjoy 21 and the birthdays after!
Joy,
I love your blog. I read it all the time and I just turned 21; when I logged online, clicked my Joy the Baker bookmark and saw this entry, it made me smile. You are wonderful, your food is wonderful and your advice is wonderful. Thank you for being you!
That’s one of the best lists I’ve ever read. Second only to your 30 things to do before turning 30. I especially love #20.
Ah! This is so cute! I’m like happy for that girl! Im sure shes so excited or will be when she reads it!
PS I turn 21 June 12th.. but I don’t drink bahah so I’ll expect a few diff gems ;]
It was my 21st birthday a week ago. These are so fun! Thanks for the advice. You always know how to brighten my day :)
Joy,
I know your Dad & Mom must be soooooooooooooo proud of you!!!
You just put the icing on the cake!!!! No wonder I love your website!!!!!!
Thank you Joy for being such a lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Happy Birthday, Sweet One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Aussie loves the wisdom (even though she’s not 21) – and believes in everyone of those.
Thanks for sharing :)
Yep, agreed with everything you said. And one more thing….When you put it on the Lord, don’t forget to be really quiet for awhile and listen to what he has to tell you.
Seriously, so true! I am printing this up and reading it to my small group of high school girls! LOVE it!
This is why I follow your blog so diligently….you’re just so great. I concur with everything on your kick-ass list. I am an avid baker-in-the-making and that’s what brought me, but it’s your heart communicated through-out these pages that’s hooked me. Every once in awhile I pop out of the shadows to say so. Today is that day :) Thanks for being you.
Thank you. This is exactly the list I needed in my life. You may have made me cry a little bit, Joy. Happy birthday, Brittany!
thanks, Joy.
I’m 61 and having this tattoooooo’d on my chest. “TwentyOne: Work hard at the thing that you love. Likeโฆ really hard. Donโt let anyone tell you that itโs dumb. If they do tell you itโs dumbโฆ work harder and prove them wrong. But donโt rub it in their face- just be gracious, and wear expensive lipstick, and smile, and keep working.”
LOVE the hostess gift idea! Cereal is one of my favorites!
I don’t turn 21 till November but I’ll be keeping this list. And I’m totally wearing skirt and heals this summer. You rock Joy!
love. this.
Happy Birthday Joy! You own it. Love it. xoxo
I’ve turned 21+ twice already and still find your advice pure, lovely, coming from the heart!
I’m so glad my cooking passion brought me accross your blog!
Love every post I read :)
This absolutely and completely made me smile. Thank you <3
umm. . . SWEETEST POST EVER! :-) AND happy birthday brittany! :-)
Where were you when I turned 21? Wait a minute….you were not even born! :) I’m 57 and this still resonates truthful to me. Keep up the good work!
I just want to say, I <3 you friend! That's all!
hi friend!
joy, you have a knack for humorously giving good advice without nagging :) thank you
Tip #21 is so perfect to end on, Joy. For any of us, at any age, it’s so important to remember to work hard at what we love–especially when we have people in our lives trying to tell us it’s dumb. So we need to remind each other! It’s not dumb! We rock! Cookies for all!
Seriously, though…thanks for being the one to remind me today. :) And Happy Birthday, Brittany!
I LOVE this. You’re so awesome, in both writing and baking ways.
Super cute blog post, and great advice for every gal to follow!
? Rachel
thank you soooo much for the birthday post! you are amazing and so is this post! I just want to say that it is great that you actually posted a blog for me and it shows what a great person you are. thanks for being you :)
First – everyone should wish they had a friend like Brittany’s.
Second – These are 21 pieces of gold! Life-lessons are so much more valuable when you dont have to pay for them with your own mistakes.
Third – My best friend already does everything you say to do!
Fourth – Happy Birthday, Brittany!
“A Girl’s Guide To Growing Up Awesomely” by Joy The Baker
…you should totally make this your next book!
Wish I’d had a list like this when I first turned 21!
You are so wonderful with words and your honesty sincerity shines through in all of your blogs!! Thank you so much ! I smile every time I read your blog! :) Thank you for your beautiful pictures, wonderful recipes and lovely outlook on life!!!
I love this! I just turned 21 a week ago, and this list is full of great advice. Your blog is so fantastic!
I’m guessing it’s your birthday today. So if I’m right…
Happy Birthday Sweet Joy….(smiley face)
Joy, that was wonderful. I just turned 21 on the 28th of April and you have great advice, also great recipes. THANK YOU!!
Meredith
LOVE this post! I turned 21 about 8 months ago, and I would have loved to have read it back then. It might have helped a bit! :) But in reading it now, it’s funny to see how many of those same things I’ve learned since then! So thaank you. And I’m having a Sweet Tea Bourbon Cocktail tonight, just sayin. ;)
How wonderfully funny of the universe…my 21st was yesterday, but these words are still what I’ve been trying to follow every day!
keep writing and being the wonderful soul you are :)
Thanks for this post Joy. I do try to pay attention to my resting face as I am a pharmacist and everyone can see me behind the counter as they walk by the pharmacy to grab their shampoo and such. It really makes a difference! No one wants to see a grouchy face all day. Great words of advice. I’m 40 and still learning.
What a wonderful post Joy great advice for younger girls who look up to beautiful people like you! I wish someone had shared something like this with me at 21. This post helped me realize I need to smile more : )
I’m a new reader and I am hooked. I have checked in religiously for the last 20 days and I am hooked. And the advice…amazing! I turn 30 in 21 days and have to admit that I would have baked a cake and sent you a pair of to-die-for heels had you given me this advice on my 21st. Especially the jerk boy one. Anyway, you are awesome.
Best post ever. Everrr!
Love your list Joy! I have twin girls turning 21 this August and I think I will incorporate some of your list in my toast (in our family each of us gives a toast after dinner to the birthday girl or boy, to start their year by saying something nice, funny, words of wisdom ect.).
Happy Birthday to you Joy! I think you will find your 30’s to be some of your best years ever! You still have your youth and energy of your 20’s, but without the insecurity and stupid mistakes (i.e. #12 on your list). You really become “confident and comfortable” with who you are. You feel like a “real” adult and you don’t have to prove it to anyone. I have very fond memories of my 30’s. I know you will make a lot of fond memories of your own. To a decade of growth, happiness, health and love (and bourbon, cookies, pie, gin, good wine, beer, oh and cake!).
What a wonderful post! I am long past 21, but this brought back some memories, and I wish that I had someone give me good friendly advice when I was 21. Thank you Joy
you’re the best/too cool. i wish we were real world friends. i’m 19, and i think this advice is perfect. thank you!
Beautiful list. My roommate and I turn 21 this year. I think we’ll print out this list and put it on our bathroom mirror! :)
This is an amazing list, I am turning 9 years older than 21 this summer and there is still a lot I could take away from your list (but it’s too bad I rely on public transit, I would OWN #5!).
Can I add one?
22. Don’t be in a rush to appear all grown-up and successful. This is the best time to drop everything and follow a dream. Travel somewhere crazy. Quit your crappy job even if you don’t know what you will do next. Learn something new. The longer you wait, the harder it is to do these things. Do them now :) Enjoy being young and free instead of trying to meet other peoples expectations. There is time for that later.
Great nuggets of wisdom, Joy…for people of any age. :)
Joy, I love how you sometimes sound like you’ve lived life 20-times over and have distilled those lives into only the good stuff. This is great advice for me and I was 21 a few years ago. I think I’m going to keep this and send it to my nieces when they are 21 and try to live by it myself.
Now I just have to figure out what my resting face does….
This is an awesome list! You are awesome Joy! I especially love number 20. It’s the perfect piece of advice! Thanks for posting this!!
?Whitney
I love this! I’m turning 21 in two weeks and I can’t beliveve how much you hit the nail on the head with the bitchy face tip. That’s something I’ve been working on for a while now. Made me giggle :)
Lovely post! Great advice.
Happy Birthday Joy! Let’s just say you’re turning 30 on the most appropriate day of the year, derby day! On my way to derby, I’ll drink a makers mark for ya!
Can i just say that i LOVE 8,10,11,15 and 20. Heck i love them all. Good advice all round. You really brighten up my day Joy.
Joy…you made me laugh then you made me cry. Wow..how absolutely articulate and heartfelt can one amazing person be? Although I am slightly (tee hee) your senior, at a mere 50, I could totally relate to your pearls of wisdom and I applaud you for your witty humor and generous spirit. I lost my mom when I was 8yrs old and her name was also Joy…I guess I could imagine her sending me this list of intelligent “been there” advise. I will now forward this to my daughter who has recently turned 21. Thank you! You have wings! Love your recipe for life at 21 and always!
this is just the sweetest comment. thank you.
Thanks for the great advice Joy!! True words for any woman at any age!!! Keep up the wonderful, heartfelt posts :)
You’re the greatest–I’m going to be 60 and I wish I had a friend like you in the day, full of wisdom and fun!! Take care and don’t change….and Happy Birthday!!
Joy,
You are awesome……..I’m just sayin :)
God Bless, and Thank You for being you
Great advice for anyone of any age Joy! Thanks for always making me smile!
I love your blog. You always make me laugh with just the right combination of craziness and truthfulness. Thanks for writing so often-your posts brighten up my screen and my day :)
This is vundervul! post-its are the shiz, i wish i invented them.
yay brittany! yay joy! birthdays rule.
Awesome wisdom. Love. It.
Dearest, sweet Joy….I am 61 and I bless you for your wise words. Good advice for women of any age. Thank you for the joy everyday.
It is my birthday today too! And while, I am not turning 21! I do like the looks of these little lesssons!
You are awesome, thanks!
Love this. I am now twenty one and a half and I’d say this is some great advice. I just copied it down with a purple pen and hung it on my wall.
<3 <3
I wish we were real life friends, you’re so cool and sweet. I turn 21 on Monday and I’m glad I read this post today, especially number 19. It’s the best piece of advice I’ve heard in a while.
Thank you!
happy birthday!
This post is great! I especially like “Sixteen” because I think I might look like a robot in heels. Good advice.
What a great list! I’m long past 21 but this brought back a lot of good memories!
I LOVE this post so much! I wish I was 21 again so I have an excuse to do all those things on your list (even though most should be avoided), it’s just at 35 some of the don’ts sound way more fun.
Best advice ever, Joy! This really made me smile :)
love, Love, LOVE this post, Joy!!! Such solid advice that I think a lot of people my age could use (I’m turning 21 in a lil less than a year). The reason I come to your blog more than any other is not only because you bake such delicious looking treats, but you always have heart-felt, witty advice and stories to go along. Thanks for putting a smile on my face almost every day :)
You’re too sweet! My birthday is on Monday and I turn 31. I’m seriously thinking of baking my own birthday cake….and then eating it.
do exactly that! bake a cake. slice it. eat it. happy birthday to you!
joy, you’re like everyone’s favourite big sister!
THIS IS LEGIT. I’m 32 years old and often feel as if I’ve JUST figured most of this out. Thank you for sharing!
Can I just say how glad I am that facebook wasn’t around yet when we were in high school? Oy! I can only imagine all the extra drama (real and fake).
I think there needs to be a place where people write to you seeking advice with baking or life in general questions, and you pick the ones you’d like to answer. “Dear Joy the Baker…” That could be kind of a lot of pressure, but it would be awesome.
wait…I remember that you did this (and it WAS awesome!), but I mean like a weekly online column somewhere.
i really like this idea!
Joy, just thought I’d let you know how fantastically awesome you are! I’ve searched and searched to find another blog as awesome as yours, but nada! I love how you do it all; you show me yummy cookies as well as yummy chicken pot pies! And to top it off… You do it all while making me laugh! You’re like the best Internet date ever! Love it!!!!
Hello Joy!
Your posts always get me smiling. I turned 21 at the end of April. These are really awesome tips for anyone, no matter what age though.
xo
Joy,
You are truly one of the very beautiful people that grace this earth. Thank you for you. :)))))))
Big Love, girl!
I’m 18 years (and change) your senior and wish there had been someone like you to share this wisdom with me when I was turning 21. We all pretty much learn it along the way…some of us need to learn everything the hard way…but knowing that someone has already “been there, done that,” surely helps, at least some of the time. Definitely going to share and save this one.
i learned most of this stuff the hard way… trust that.
Wait, nothing about cookies or pancakes? Not even a hungover recipe? Nonetheless, great list, and I second what one of your readers said: publish that list! I so agree with the dresses and heels rule. I’m 5 years older than your targeted list reader, but I’m going to take a few of these into account from now on! Thanks for being awesome.
not even a hungover recipe… i know.
This is lovely. I’m also a long time reader and I turn 21 in 21 days so I’ll to keep these in mind. And I’ll try to eat more of the green things. And Joy? You still own it nine years my senior and you will still own it twenty-five years from now.
happy almost birthday!
Well Said Joy, I love number 12 – never cute, I know of some 40 something year old women that could learn a few things here!
Joy, is it also a milestone birthday for you? That’s what I read into the 21+9 bit at the start. If so, Happy Birthday Joy! :) If not, sorry to assume and over think your blog. Love this advice! Where where you when I was twenty-one? Oh yeah, you were eleven. Anyway, this is some of the best advice. I especially like 5, 8, 11 and 20. Thank you once again for making me smile with your blog. Hugs and possible birthday sprinkles!
I know I should read all 160 comments that came before mine, but I can’t, so if someone has already told you about this, feel free to ignore me. In 10 years, when you’re 40, you should check out this site (https://4020vision.com/). It’s for women in their 40s who want to pass on words of wisdom to women in their 20s. I have nothing to do with the site (I just found out about it on Twitter a few months ago), but your lovely and oh-so-Joy list above made me realize you might enjoy it, too.
Happy we met. You’re the shiznet.
l ike you Joy. I just like you :0 )
I’m turning 40 this October and I’m still guilty of #8. : ) It could be the kids’ fault or lack of sleep. Hmmmm… I should look into that! You gave a great talk at camp, even though you were given the topic of SEO. Instead of getting lost in analytics, you made it fun and gave us a smile. Thanks for your input and have a fabulous weekend!
lovely comment! thank you!
Love it….wish I had read this list when I turned 21! Oh well…never too late to start, right?
There’s just a lot of awesomeness going on here.
Radical. That is all.
Wonderful advice! And beautifully written… This made me smile!
Thanks for all the advice. I’m only 18 but some of these tips meant a lot to me coming from you. You’re seriously one of my idols Joy! I love you
Great advice! Even though I’m not 21 anymore I still think it applies to us girls in our twenties!
Uh, why is there a tear oozing out of my eye socket?
Damn it.
Now I really want to buy an expensive lipstick. And be 21, just so I can legitimately do these 21 things.
Is there another Happy Birthday in order? You wrote about being nine years older and the “30 Things Before 30” post was in March…
my birthday is at the end of the month. you’ll know… ooohhh you’ll know.
Joy
I love this post!
I wish someone had shared this wisdom with me when I was younger…
You truly are a joy to me everyday.
Thank you
S
Joy, what lovely advice :) I’ll be sure to pass it on!
Loved the advice even though I am a old woman! Copied it for my Granddaughter who can always start with advice at a young age and keep it close to her heart!!! Thank you again!
I am so much more than two times 21. I only wish you had been around when I was turning 21 to give me this list. I laughed, I cried. You are a wise woman. Thanks for this.
resting face, haha! I am definitely victim of “bitchy resting face”…sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and I’m like, “whoa, there angry girl…”, then I switch to my “slightly-smiley-almost-crazy” face.
I wish I had this list when I turned 21…instead of drinking too much and having to refinish a bathtub the next day due to a smoke bomb incident, true story. You’re full of wisdom joy :)
i really enjoyed reading those advice, thank you was a pleasure to read and its so true about Facebook.
and Happy Birthday to all those turning 21 you got a great life ahead of you!
I may print this post out and tape it to my door. Beautiful, true and funny words of wisdom learned only on that on that rocky road known as our 20’s. I can say that, seeing as I’m turning 30 this year. Now, can you write me such an awesome post for MY birthday? It’s in December, you have plenty if time. Thanks. Xoxo
Joy –
Thanks for posting these lovely words of wisdom! (even if they aren’t exactly for me) I am turning twenty-one in two months and its nice to get advice from someone who has been there/done that – but who also isn’t an old “cronie.” You are terriby humorous too…I love it! I also love your recipes – I just made your hot cross biscuits this morning and they were delicious!
-Jenna
What a wonderful gift you have given. You inspire me, and that means a lot.
Good advice for everybody…even those of us past 21! Thanks Joy!
Really enjoyed this :) As a 22-year old, it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who lives by a bunch of these try-to-remember points of life!
I love your blog. I love your food. I love your cat. We want more pictures of your little Mr. Orange.
I’m not Brittany, but today is also my 21st birthday and I was so excited when I read this! Happy birthday Brittany! You’re a lucky girl :)
Happy Birthday Betsy!
What great wisdom :) made me nostalgic, and weepy, and sappy, and want to kiss the faces of sweet young women taking another step in this wonderful life (like I said, it made me sappy…) Happy Birthday 21-ers!
Happy Birthday!
Your list has a lot of wisdom for a 21 year old. I hope you continue to mature and grow into adulthood with such a generous and loving heart. May you keep your #13 goal the rest of your life. That’s one I try to do too.
It’s been a couple of years since my 21st, but I wish someone had written me such an awesome list of advice! Joy, you are the best!
okay now i am half a decade from being 21… uh yup hi there all you coolies
i love this post. especially numbers like 14 because my mom (who is always right, i mean really, moms are) told me to put my hair back, and show off my features and i always hide behind my hair or etc. but ya know what? you’re right.
oh and the thing about boys? totally true joy. you’re amazing. i love this. i am gonna look back at this and one day perhaps i really am gonna wear some heels and shake my booty when i walk. oh yeah! public transport? not that day! *cringe* <3
Joy,
Though there is no food involved here, this is one of my favorite posts! Joy, you are awesome and your advice is the best I’ve heard in a long time. I have a feeling you’re even more amazing and cool than I already give you high credit for being! Keep it up! I love your blog, recipes, advice, and style.
An admiring fan that’s well past 21!
Emily :)
hahhaha I just loved this so much. I feel like I could send this around to all of my friends, because even though we all turned 21 8 or 9 years ago, much of this advice still resonates. I particularly like the one about making sure your resting face wasn’t a bitch face. And the one about the boob-gap issue.
Joy, I think you are so kind to interact with your readers like this. THIS is why I read your blog (also, you are hilarious).
How stinkin wonderful is this post! What a wonderful friend Kelsey is, she will be a friend till the end, I can tell :)
How thoughtful of you, Joy, to make a birthday girls day! Joy you are truly one of a kind…. and you own it! :)
Joy- you make me happy! Love it!
I turned THIRTY-FOUR yesterday (that can’t possibly be right!), and I can wholeheartedly endorse numbers 3,4,5,6,…oh hell, ALL of them! Awesome advice, Joy ;) Listen to her, youngsters (which still does include you, Joy), don’t learn the hard way! ;P
Happy Birthday to you!
I just LOVE your words of wisdom…they’re great at any age!
I turned 21 a while ago but I feel like this was made for me. Thanks, lady!!!
LOVE this. especially number twenty. awesome post :)
I love this SO MUCH. I turn 20 in about a month, I’m pretending you wrote it to me, Okay? Perf. But really, beautiful advice for daily existence. I’m sure whoever the special b-day girl is really appreciates this, and a very happy 21st birfday to her!!
Loved this! Especially numbers 3, 15 and 21!
i love #19, that should be on a cup or a t shirt or something
You are soooooo right about Facebook. Spot on !!
Perfect….absolutly perfect! I laughed at about 18 of these suggestions…so good and so true!
I just saved this in my Google Reader under “Best Posts.” Excellent advice :)
you’re nice!
I love this so much. I’m not 21 for another two years (but it’ll be my golden birthday!) but your advice is fantastic for anyone. Your blog is wonderful and inspiring. Keep doing what you do.
This is such a great post. You should turn it into a book for young women! Witty with good advise.
You forgot one more…boys give love to get sex and girls give sex to get love…until it’s the real thing! So be careful!
ooh man. that sounds complicated. preach.
This blog post just made me love you so much more, and I didn’t realize that was possible. You are awesome.
I am so guilty of the bitchface and I’m 24. I seriously am the nicest person ever, but somehow, my relaxed face is nothing short of complete bitchface. Sometimes I realize this and try to contort it, but then people ask what’s wrong with me cause it turns into some kind of half smile have pursed lips and my eyebrows are like, in my hairline. sigh.
It’s a mess.
it’s ok… don’t stress about it! :)
You are a wonderful Joy. So glad to have stumbled onto your little gem and adore these words of wisdom.
Right on! This reminds me of the mix-tape my hippy-ish auntie made me when I turned 18. It had David Bowie and Carly Simon on it and that sucker’s still changing my life. I’m now a deliciously seasoned 37 with a man and a fam, strolling through life and taking it easy, because, you’re right — we’ll all be dead soon!
PS – You are absolutely the best blogstress (??) on the planet, no joshin’ and no pressure. ;)
happy birthday to you!
Where were you when I turned 21? My own mother was not this wise (or else she was keeping it to herself)…….
You had me at sweet tea bourbon cocktails yesterday, but this is just awesome. I’m blogging about hitting the big quarter-century mark right now, and these are all lessons I’ve learned (or tried to) over the last few years. Great advice.
A fun read to start my morning!…….Loved the hostess gift suggestion—-funny! My hairdresser always brings a big bottle of shampoo as a hostess gift. :)
Wow, thanks Joy! I’m only 17, but a lot of this advice applies to any age. As always, you put a smile on my face this morning :)
Wonderful post Joy! As someone well past 21, I wish someone had passed such special, funny and perfect advice along to me when I was that young.You are a special woman Joy and I for one sincerely appreciate that you share a piece of yourself here on this blog.
Good advice, thanks! :)
:D…
splendid!!
Beautiful words to learn from!! and yes, Being 22, i cant help but learn from it all too! :)
Happy birthday Brittany!
This might be my favorite post ever. You are seriously the coolest person, Joy…what a 21st birthday gift! And Happy Birthday to Brittany. My little sister is turning 21 in a few weeks…and I am sending her your post. :)
I turn 21 on Tuesday, May 10th! All of this was very lovely advice. Thank you, Joy! :)
Ahhhh….sage advice from the 29 year old. I love it. As one who will soon celebrate the 20th anniversary of my 21st birthday, this is a truly wonderful birthday gift. I am going to print it out for my teenage daughter. We both find you witty, kind, crunchy, groovy, modern, trendy and so much fun to read.
Thank you for the birthday gift….we can all use being reminded these points… and the value of a post-it-note and the dangers of rum.
A friend of mine steered me to this post and I LOVE it. Seventeen is awesome! Never would have thought of that, but it is cute.
Honey and raw oatmeal also makes a good exfoliating face scrub. Yeah you look a little creepy while you’re using it, but it is really nice on your skin actually.
oh joy, where were you when i turned 21?
words to grow on lady…words to grow on!
Great words of wisdom! You not only have GREAT recipes – you give GREAT advise. You’ve taken the old adage “To thine own self be true” and made it pertinent to today’s young women. I especially loved 11 & 12. Life is not “Jersey Shore”. All the stupid things and foul language posted on social pages can and will come back to haunt you. Being responsible is a gift we give ourselves.
Joy–beautiful, wise list. Though I’m well past 21 (in bodily structure but I’m still sometimes 21 inside…), it gives such perspective for those becoming women. Also, I may have read this wrong, but could it possibly be your birthday?? Wondering from your first line…so if it is, happiest of days. If not, I do remember you blogging that it is indeed coming, so happy birthday early. Becoming 30 is…well…epic in its own right. Definitely calls for something richly decadent like an amaretto chocolate torte.
I’m so going to remember this when I turn twenty-one….
I am a recent follower of your blog. Loved this post! Your recipes look great. I am excited to try them!
Love number eight! My husband and I call that “bitch face”.
Fantastic advice and there are probably quite a few in there I need to start following. :)
Wow. This post was awesome! I’ve only been reading your blog for a few weeks not, but your recipes are amazing and your advice and sound and wisdom-ful. Yes, I just coined that word and it shall soon be popular! I just turned 19 last week and I can NOT wait for my 20’s! Thanks for sharing this list with all of us on behalf of Brittany!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY!!! I hope you enjoy every minute of it!
I love this!! My friends and I are all turning 21 within the next few months, and these seem to be words to live by :)
this is so funny. its my friends birthday (only 20) but I think i have to send her a link to this post!
22—–One to Grow On——-Don’t ever think that you are not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, young enough, or old enough to be the beautifully distinct person that God made you to be. No one else is just like you in any way…..you are perfect the way you are. Live like that, and life gets better and better the older you get! Happy Birthday Brittany! All the way from Texas!!—
Good advice girl, good advice!
This is so sweet and great advise on how to enter adulthood with class :)
Very good advice for a woman of such a young age. I want to add to #8… keep a tiny mirror at your desk, have it positioned just right so that you can glance over to see what you look like when your are concentrating really hard. It also comes in handy to see if you have something in your teeth or your lipstick is smudged. Some may think it’s rather vain, but it’s not… I have co-workers that I’m constantly telling them “you are pooching your lip out really far and it looks funny, don’t do that…. your face is gonna stay that way.” or “why are you pinching your eyebrows? You’re gonna get a big wrinkle in your forehead… don’t do that.” I’m not mean, I just want my co-workers to look their best, and not have unsightly wrinkles. Kind of like you, I know of what I speak. I even went as far as getting them both monitor lifts for their computer screens so that they have to tilt their heads up a bit… no more neck wrinkles! I also splurged for foot rests too.
I am forwarding this emaiil to my daughters, age 25, 23, 21, 17 and 16. This is information that they need, and they will probably listen to YOU! (not mom) Thanks, Joy!
love this post. LOVE. pea ess: are you a Christian?
I’ve been reading you since your early days and I have to say this might be your best post ever!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY!!! Have a super fantastic day!!!
Thanks, Joy for sharing. I’m 50 something and wish someone would have shared this advice with me when I was 21. Blessings!
Great list! Oh the things I wish I had known when I turned 21 (8 years ago). Can I add several though?
1. All the crap from your past that you bury? Go to a counselor, get it out in the open and deal with it, and move on. And I’m speaking from experience here. Best thing I ever did.
2. Realize that God loves you sooooo infinitely that He sent His Son to die for you so you could live forever in Heaven with Him. Accepting that Truth will truly set you free and completely change your life!
3. Confidence is key. It’s your life – own it!
Happy Birthday Brittany!!!!!!!! God Bless.
this is wonderful advice. im saving it for teenage nieces who are rapidly approaching ‘adulthood’. do you mind if i share?
You make me smile really big, even when I am up too early and drank a bit too much whiskey last night. Don’t worry, kept it classy :) Thank for the morning laughs and great advice
I love lists! Makin one now…
Joy, you are awesome! What are great list of advice for girls! Love, love, love your blog :)Have a great weekend!
This is fantastic advice!! Even for those who aren’t 21. Thanks Joy!
This is why I always enJOY your blog. You are fun, personal and help me think out of the box when cooking. Thank you for being real.
Aw, I love this! What a nice blog celebrity you are! I love three! I did not even HAVE a Facebook when I turned twenty one! That’s right kids, there was a time when Facebook did not exist… (or maybe I just refused to get one. That was probably a really good decision.)
Might I suggest a cami under the button up shirt in lieu of the bra showing? A good cami can work wonders.
Happy Birthday Brittany!
Cami shami. Go big. Go bra.
It’s my 26th birthday today… some of these lessons i’ve learned, some i know and need to put into practice, but all of them are worth the time of day… Happy Birthday Brittany, Happy Birthday me! Happy Birthday lessons for everyone!
i turned twenty-one in march but i still soaked this up. thank you so much. it is evident that you such a lady, an adventurer, and a dream-chaser. this makes me want to sit down with you at a picnic and ask dozens of questions and share stories. one day?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY!
Joy I Love Your List. You Are One Classy Lady!
LOVE this post…I’m going to let my twin 20 year old girls read this! Thanks Joy for another post that’s right on the mark. Oh and the part about if a guys a jerk…he’s dead to you – you have no idea how much I would have learned this sooner.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Post-It sponsored this post.
Just kidding! Happy birthday, Brittany!
Ok this is a tad self centered but I awoke at 5:30 with a toddler dying to wake up and as I sat here on my couch and cuddled with a sick little man on my 29th birthday I was so excited that you said happy birthday to me LOL your wisdom is beautiful and timeless
This is too sweet!
Good advice even if you already passed 21.
I would only add one thing: Love yourself, because you’re fantastic and should never forget it!
Even when you make grammatical mistakes in comments…
I turned 21 30 years ago…ouch…it did involve alcohol & nudity but not my own so it was all good!! Great blog, thanks for sharing!
haha, this is funny. I love it. I’m also going to try that face scrub!
Amen sister!
I love this !! I am sharing it with my 17 year old daughter – sometimes life lessons sound better when coming from a stranger !!!! I love your blog, and I visit everyday !!!!!! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !!!
I love this. I turned 46 today and I have to say that a lot of these still hold true.
Happy birthday Brittany!
Awesome advice anyone at any age can learn from!
Oh, Joy—-this is so awesome and you are wise beyond your years! I love you—have a happy, butter-y weekend! xoxo
Rarely do I leave comments but I am a faithful follower of your blog and this one is truly a gem. You are wise beyond your years, wish I had this advice 33 years years ago when I turned 21 (holy crap – how can THAT be true!) Keep writing & baking!
A lot of this made me giggle! Brittany is so lucky to get a whole post dedicated to her! :)
xx
Giiiiirl you know it. Awesome post. Would you mind if I sent this to every early 20-something I know?? ‘If a guy is a jerk, he’s dead to you’ – PREACH. I think everyone needs to read this no matter what age. Every year this blog gets better and better. If I ever lose my internet I would miss you the most. Truth.
Giving this list to my teens. They’ll listen to you. (and will remember those things about Facebook and rum myself!)
Kelsey, Brittany and Joy are all totally awesome.
“Donโt do stupid things that relate to booze, boys, nudity, and consequences. Keep it together. Drink more water than booze. Sloppy is never cute.”–
AMEN!! God, I wish I could scream that message from the rooftops. Sloppy is never cute! And those big yards that people carry and drink from? Agreed totally with you on those, too!
And I wish at 21 I had had a clue. I didnt and was plenty sloppy, no doubt. And was no lily white angel, either!
Loser guys, eating green food, making things, putting it on the Lord. Gosh, I LOVE this post!!!
HAPPY BDAY!!!!!
Amazing. My daughter just turned 21 and I’m sending her this. Better than I could have said and not sure she listens to me yet anyway :)
I love your writing
I am not turning 21 today, but I love the advice that you have given. I will definitely be respecting it. Thanks for being awesome!
I love this list! My favorite is the bitchy face advice:-)
you made me write joy.this post was brilliant. i am
your silent reader but i love your blog and i love your
food for sure:)
You. Are. Awesome.
That is all.
Oh Joy, you really are your name by nature. I loved today’s blog. Being I celebrated 21 a decade ago I can only agree with you wholeheartedly. I would love to be able to write my 21 year old self a letter to advise of all the things that could lead me astray. 21 year olds take heed of these very wise pearls of wisdom from our Joy; you are young but once, but the memories of what you do, or don’t do wiill be with you forever!
This is the wisest and truest post I’ve read for a younger person. Every 21 (and 22, 23, 24….) year old should hear this. The 20s are the most rapidly changing from year to year. Being at the end of it, I wish I heard that at the start myself. Bravo Joy! And Happy Birthday Brittany!
Great list! I’m taking it to heart ’cause my birthday’s next week.
Twenty-five. That century’s just inching closer… ;)
THIS. Except I will say that for some of us the tragedy of resting bitchface is difficult to overcome. I’ve been short sighted my entire life, but only got glasses when I was 20, and as a result my default expression is a kind of bitchy, angry squint because my muscles are used to 20 years of struggling to see. Solidarity with my accidental bitchface sisters!
Happy Birthday Joy from Joy! Hope you have the most fantastic day :-) Great advice for pretty much any age there, and I’m, errrrm, (whispers) almost 17 years your senior! Love you blog x
Joy, I’m sorry I’ve never commented on your blog before. BUT, I love it. I really do. AND this post is ace. Keep the good stuff coming. As an American in London I revel in the joy (ha! pun actually not intended!) and baking inspiration that your blog brings me daily!
Awesome tips, this post made me smile! You are such a funny blogger and I wish you were my friend.
1st things 1st…
Happy Birthday Brittany!
Joy, you’re awesome and I freaking love you and your post! :)
Especially love #20 of the list.
I read your blog all the time, but have never before commented.
This post really moved me- the generosity of your spirit and your cooking.
You’re awesome!
Um. Best. List. EVER. I’m off to pull my hair back and put on some pretty earrings now.
THIS WAS THE BEST POST EVER. You know something is really good-funny when you read it aloud to someone else :D Just eggcellent! (and true!)
May people are great people. I turned 22 on May 6th, so I’m going to totally take your advice on board. Do you have an additional tip for that good old 22? <3
Dear Joy.
I’m turning 21 in two weeks, so I read your advice very carefully.
I already make lists, but I really should learn to sew.
Thanks for telling Brittany and us not to feel embarassed for asking stupid questions.
I’ll keep working hard at the things I love. I’ll prove people that I can realize my dreams.
Thanks, Joy. A big hug.
My sister turned 21 last year and my advice to her, being now also 9 years away from 21 was
‘the world is your oyster. Treat it as such and enjoy the adventure.’
It was such an exciting age, your twenties laid out infront of you…
Ohh, I’m getting all reminiscent now! Better go check out some old photos and drink gin.
3 things.
1. I love love love this post. I turn 21 in November and this is probably the best (possibly the only) advice I’ll get for turning fully legal.
2. The first post I ever ever read of yours was about you ripping your shirt off in public because of a clever little bee. That, in my opinion, has to be the best way to be introduced to you. Virtually, anyway. Which brings me to my point. You have this uncanny ability to make everything in life, not only okay, but funny. Really funny. No matter what it is. And I just love that about you.
I suppose, thanks to my impatient computer, thing number 3 can go here.
3. That same uncanny ability to make everything okay has gotten me through more stressful days than I can remember. I mostly think of how funny a stressful situation would be if it were in blog form, especially if you wrote it. So thanks.
I think we could be friends. Because this is amazing. I love your blog.
Happy Birthday Brittany! and, also, I’m bookmarking this for my 21st (in one year and two months and 13 days… not hinting anything at all…)
I love the “Eat something green everyday”. It reminds me of Michael Pollan’s food manifesto: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”
I have to say that is great/amazing advice. Especially 5 and 19 and the facebook bits. If you can’t think of enough recipes for a second cookbook, I think you could just write a funny life advice book. And, well, maybe it could include a few recipes. But it could be mostly genius like this. :)
also, that is super sweet you are sharing your wisdom with brittany & the rest of the world.
Joy,
thanks for always keeping it “real”, even for those of us quite past 21.
I love you for that.
Happy Birthday, Brittany!
Unreal. Today, May 7, is my 21st birthday too =)
This post is awesome! I’ll print it when I’m turning 21, in august..
Kisses from Italy Joy! :)
haha love this post. I like the first tip in particular. Great idea!
Like always, a fantastic post. As I read your list of tips, I found myself nodding, and smiling, and nodding, and giggling. Not in that order. Its light years ago since I was 21…or 30, and through the years, I’ve stumbled, fallen, gotten up (again and again x a million times) that I should really think seriously about knee reconstruction. Wish I knew someone like you when I was 21 with a handy list of tips just like that. I’d have much smoother knees! :-)
you know, I started reading your blog like a month ago, and I don’t even remember how I found it, but I’m liking it and you more and more each day.
I LOVE this! this, in addition to all the absolutely delicious recipes you post, makes me want to be your friend. I don’t know if you read jenna’s blog (eat live run… I also want to be her friend) but she posted a link to an article from Relevant magazine the other day that was things to know at 25 years old (which I am) and this makes me think of that too. :)
I just turned 21 a couple days ago! Not much pertains to me ~ But I love 17 & 18…. Totally buy my friends&fam lame stuff like cereal & milk. When they’re REALLY deserving they get my orange rolls :o)
This is great.. Joy, you are awesome.
Happy birthday Brittany!
whoever brittany is she just got a TREAT. also this is my favorite entry that you’ve written so far. like for realz.
but also i love your baking and stuff so don’t worry.
realz.
Well my name’s Brittany but my 21st birthday was 2.5 years ago. Is it okay if I just pretend it was my 21st birthday today anyways? Love the advice Joy. Can we be friends?
yes.
After reading this entry, I immediately looked for a ‘Like’ button.
I think I need to chill out on the Facebook, seriously…
words of wisdom eh. I love this. I am 24 and have worked hard at pretty much all of those, I fall down on ‘expensive lipstick – still to poor’, bitchy face – gotta work on that, drinking more water is ALWAYS a good idea, I achieve this 99% of the time.
I think for my 25th birthday this year i’ll make a list too…for myself – am I totally lame? YES but I am ‘owning it’ so it’s ok right?
make a list. do it!
Absolutely rock solid/great advice!! You have certainly taught this ole dog some new tips. :)
Happy Birthday to Brittany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
love this. I’m hitting close to three zero and cannot believe how fast the twenties are passing by.
I agree the most beautiful woman are no longer when they are sloppy drunk (trust me, I used to work at a restaurant.. not pretty). I would add travel/overseas volunteer whenever the opportunity arises… or make that opportunity for yourself! Those early twenty somethings are meant to galavant across the world, to gain some compassion, and to understand another way of life before you become stuck in yours.
truth!
THIS.
This is an awesome post.
I agree with all 21 pieces of gold you’ve thrown up here and couldn’t have phrased them better myself. I rarely leave comments on any of the many blogs I read, but this one deserved a high five and a pat on the back.
Nice work, Joy!
P.S. I turn 29 on October 24th. Feel free send me some birthday wisdom.
Great list. And speaking of someone who is 15 years older than 21 (wow, I’m old!), I learned a few things from your great tips.Love the “wear a different shirt” tip. ‘Cause that’s just wrong no matter how old you are.
I just turned 20! I’m so jealous of this Brittany!
Bulleit bourbon is my absolute FAVORITE. I only wish I’d had such taste at 21…back then, I’m pretty sure I was addicted to the Cap’n and anything else that meshed with my bank account ;-)
i hear your words.. amen.
Where were you when I turned 21??? Oh yeah, you were 9. :)
my bad.