Joy the Baker

On Turning TwentyOne

by 501 Comments

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If you’re turning twenty one (21!!) today… May 7, 2011, I’d like to humbly offer you some advice, as your elder of 9 whopping years.

I know you’re not asking for advice.  I know I’m not an expert at life…  I just have a few gems I want you to take with you.

One:  Raw honey and baking soda make a really lovely face scrub.  True.  Try it!

Two:  Eat something green everyday.

Three:  Chill out on the Facebook.  Seriously.  It’s not real life.

Four:  Learn how to sew something.  Anything.  At least learn how to sew your buttons back on your shirts.

Five:  If your button up shirt is bulging at the boobs… wear another shirt.  OR, just unbutton that button.  We’re talking exposed bra.   You’ll need to wear a necklace or two if you’re going to go this route.  You’re also going to need to walk tall and own it…. and stay away from public transportation.

Six:  Make lists on Post-It notes and knock em out, cross em off, get things done.

Seven:  Look people in the eye and listen when they speak.  It’s a nice touch.  It’s the opposite of Facebook.

Eight:  Is your resting face… the expression that you have when you’re just hanging out watching Real Housewives of Orange County… is that face bitchy?  Change that.  Try not to look bitchy when you’re just hanging out.

Nine:  Don’t drink too much rum… ever.

Ten:  Don’t be one of those girls that carries one of those long, giant cocktail cups around the streets of Las Vegas.  It really gives the wrong impression.  You’ll also have to pee a lot.

Eleven:  If a guy is a jerk, he’s dead to you.  You don’t need that bologna.  Eat an ice cream cone and move the heck on.

Twelve:  Don’t do stupid things that relate to booze, boys, nudity, and consequences.  Keep it together.  Drink more water than booze.  Sloppy is never cute.

Thirteen:  What’s important?  Make a list.  Honor it.

Fourteen:  Pull your hair back and wear pretty earrings.  Own it.

Fifteen:  Make things for people.

Sixteen:  Don’t be afraid of being overdressed.  Dresses are pretty and heels are awesome.  But!  If the heels make you walk like a robot… go with flats.  Know thyself.

Seventeen:  Boxes of cold cereal and a carton of milk make a strange and kinda funny hostess gift.  Coco Puffs and 2 percent.  Try it.

Eighteen:  Buy your friends random gifts… it’s just a nice thing to do.

Nineteen:  Don’t be afraid of looking dumb, asking a stupid question, falling on your face, getting rejected, ripping off your shirt on a crowded street, or being otherwise embarrassed.  We’ll be dead soon.

Twenty:  Put it on the Lord.  Good.  Bad.  Pretty.  Messy.  Put it all on the Lord.  Now… I know I don’t know you like that but… I’m just sayin’.

TwentyOne:  Work hard at the thing that you love.  Like… really hard.  Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s dumb.  If they do tell you it’s dumb… work harder and prove them wrong.  But don’t rub it in their face- just be gracious, and wear expensive lipstick, and smile, and keep working.

 

Reader Interactions

Comments

  2. Bee!

    Best. Blog. Post. Ever! I love #19 the most, I printed it out and hung it on my bulletin board. You’re awesome, I love you and what you do!

    Reply

  3. rachael

    I just love you Joy. Thanks for doing what you do. You make so many girls and women smile and inspire us everyday. You ARE the cat’s pajamas. Thank you.

    Reply

  5. Rhonda Sittig

    HI Joy– Hoping you even find this comment in the forest of comments you’ve got going here. I’m coming up on 61 –way on past 21 and I couldn’t agree with your well intentioned advice more. Especially the part about putting it all on the Lord. Seriously, how else do you get through a life with any real hope? So glad to be able to pop into your blog when I need to smile or bake…
    Thanks

    Reply

  8. Anne

    I am thirty two, but thank you for tip # 21. I needed to hear that. I think everyone does at one point or another. But I would have to go with really expensive mascara instead of the lipstick:)

    Reply

  12. Marie

    Joy, I know you write this almost a year ago, and I read it and loved it then when I had just turned 22. Today is my 22nd birthday and I came searching for this advice to start my new year! Love it. So applicable. Always.

    Reply

  14. Kate

    This list is wonderful, Joy. I wish I had it when I was 21. I’ve just turned 29 and I’m staring down 30. Any advice to turning 30?

    Kate

    Reply

  15. Briel K.

    Love this post. :)

    I’m reading The Happiness Project too! Pretty good book! I’m also reading “An Abundance of Katherine’s” by John Green. I’m newly obsessed with his books.

    Reply

  17. Laura Dembowski

    Love this post. One of the best blog posts I’ve read. Some fun and great advice there. Love #16. There’s nothing like dressing up . . . even if you’re just going to the grocery store.

    Reply

  18. jessie

    Best post EVER!!! I thought so the first time you posted it and sometimes I just go back to read it cause I love it. Thank you for being awesome!

    Reply

  19. Sara

    We have the same birthday! Lots of love to you, Sister Taurus!

    #20 – TRUTH! No one loves you like He does…NO ONE!

    Reply

  22. Amanda Eller

    Absolutely perfect timing for me to read this. Being that I am 21 (plus 9) just makes it even more perfect!! :D #20 is what I’m shooting for every day. Can’t wait to read more of your blog! lovely!

    Reply

  23. Megan Alissa Glanville

    You are terrific. Totally. So, so smitten with your blog. It makes me smile, it makes me salivate and inspires me to get busy in the kitchen. Keep on keepin’ on Sister and a big high five from (another) new fan :)

    Reply

  24. lauren

    i love this!!! so true. my roommates are always making fun of me b.c. i like weird stuff (for a college kid), like veggies (more than pizza or tacos or s.t), dimmed lights (like when you first get up and are cooking breakfast in a dim-lit, quiet kitchen… it’s paradise!, and music pretty much rules my life. call me weird, but i love all those things!
    once again, thanks for another wonderful post! you’re awesome :)

    Reply

  26. Natasha

    I’m turning 21 on tomorrow and I will definitely keep all your words of wisdom in mind :) Thanks, Joy! Also, did you know that you inspired me to start my own baking blog? Thanks for that too :)

    Reply

  28. Julie

    This was perfect! My boyfriend turns 21 tomorrow and I used some of your advice and edited it to put in his card. Thanks for your unintentional help! Keep on blogging! :D

    Reply

  29. Agus

    Ahhh lovely advices, Im only 16, but I will take it into account (: loveeee your blog, and recently I am becoming in something like a … baker lol

    Reply

  31. Soyon

    Just found this and cracking up laughing over some of your advice. Great advices btw, even for the non-21 year olds, even one approaching the 40s, great reminders of what’s important.

    Reply

  32. Annie

    I would add one thing:

    MOISTURIZE!! EVERY DAY. I wish I had realized the importance of this when I was 21. Now I’m a wrinkled 50 something. Exercise every day is just as important to your life happiness, but it sounds like boring advice.

    I would take one thing out: #20 is bogus. Never mind imaginary friends. Take responsibility for your own life. If you don’t like it, change it. As you say repeatedly, own it.

    Reply

  33. Lisa

    I love your blog and am so happy I found it. You have a great way of putting words on things! Wishing you all the best!

    Reply

  37. trish

    if only jerks could see eaasily be swapped with ice cream cones. Love this set of rules! Especially the bra thing. People – please!

    Reply

  38. Mandy Johnson

    Those advice of you out there are all AWESOME.. You may say that you’re not good at life, but as I read your blog, you seem to embrace the reality about life. Those advice are all appropriately true for someone who’s turning 21.

    Reply

  40. Espèra

    Hi. My friend introduced me to your blog when I was asking him for suggestions to bake something.
    And I came across this post.

    Loved it. I am going to do #13. :)

    Reply

  41. Hannah

    Hi Joy! I just turned 21 in February so I consider this post somewhat relevant to myself. Thanks for sharing such great advice. I don’t drink, smoke, party, or hook up, and a lot of people my age always think I’m a weirdo because I’m like that. It’s so hard to stick to standards that no one else seems to keep and I just want to thank you for publicly coming out and saying it is totally OKAY to not do stupid things, and that the whole “You gotta do it while you’re young” argument is just totally an excuse. Thanks again!

    Reply

      • Yasmin Ilyas

        hye joy~

        i just recently discovered your blog thru a friend!its great!do you mind if i share some of the very relevant advices you gave here=)(with credits of course!)

        yasmin

        Reply

    • Amy P

      Give it a few years and you’ll feel totally normal instead of like a sore thumb. Believe me – you’ve got a headstart! I was/am the same as you and it’s gotten me so much farther in life. Standards and discipline are very good to have, and so is grace for those who don’t have them yet :)

      Reply

  42. Sarah

    You are the best. I am so glad that I found your website!!!

    This advice is both hilarious and accurate. :D

    Reply

  43. Zombie Gurl TJ

    So. Perfectly. True. All of it. I’m forty-seven and I said, “Hell yeah!” to every one of those perfect pieces of truth. Well, except for the first one, which I did not know about, so I will try it!

    The only thing I’d have on my list is, “Be kind. Sometimes it’s hard to do with some folks, but you never know what happened to make them like that. If you’re kind to them, their shit won’t stick to you.”

    Love it. Thank you!

    ZGTJ

    Reply

  45. Beth

    I’m turning 21 this Saturday (the 21st!) and I also obsessively read your blog. This post couldn’t have been more timely. Thanks for the advice — I’m sure I’ll need it! :)

    Reply

  49. Laura

    Joy, I was shown your site just today by a good baking friend of mine. With my own 21st right around the corner, it was great to read this post. Thank you so much for the words of wisdom, and the will to bake again. I can’t wait to put my hands in the dough (after I peel myself away from your site that is…its amazing how fast the last few hours have gone!)
    Thanks again Joy, you have made my life that much happier : D

    Reply

  52. Christina

    First I said, “Hey Mom! This is my most favorite blog. Listen to this…” I read to her some of your advice. She said, “That’s really good.”
    I read some more: “She sounds like you.”
    I kept reading, “I want to be her friend!” Ha! I agree!
    Awesome blog.
    Gorgeous pictures.
    Awesome *you*!
    Thank you.

    Reply

  54. libster

    yeah… my bachelorette party is a clear “second!” on number nine.

    I’ll add: take time for yourself. once a week, read by yourself, take a jog by yourself, anything. if you’re not comfortable being with yourself, it’s time for some change.

    Reply

  56. Elizabeth

    Finally catching up on my reading! I love #20. It’s hard; I still struggle with this 18 years after my 21st birthday. But sage advice!
    And seriously, if you can’t walk in heels, leave them behind. Life will present you with plenty of other opportunities to look ridiculous.

    Reply

  58. Brent

    Just a great post, Joy. I obviously enjoy your cooking posts. But I almost like this type of post even more – the ones that reveal your great character.

    Reply

  62. Halle

    I agree, you are ridiculously wise! I’m only seventeen, so hopefully this will catch on before I reach twenty-one? Especially the eating an ice cream cone and getting over it part! :)

    Reply

  64. Linzo

    i love this. brilliant and oh so true. very inspirational and exactly what i needed on this very emotional morning i am having.

    thanks joy :)

    Reply

  65. Joyce

    Love your blog, hope you had a great bd!!

    You are wise — you nailed the “resting face” so important to try to look at least pleasant or least not evil.

    Reply

  67. Jam

    Oh Joy! :) this is so nice. I am turning 31 next week and would still love to take all these advise for a 21 year old! Love your blog and recipes! :)

    Reply

  71. Michelle B.

    Loved, loved, LOVED this post Joy!! Thank you so much for reminding me of what’s important and to be myself! I can struggle with taking chances and putting things on the Lord, so thank you :-)

    Reply

  72. Lucy

    Excellent advice — you are wise beyond your years! As someone who passed 21 more than twenty years ago (and actually is now mom to a 21 yr old), I can say that I wish someone had given me advice like that long ago. But you live and you learn. I would add the following:
    1. Spend time with your kids whenever they want you to.
    2. Spend time with your girlfriends at least once a week.
    3. Spend time with your husband everyday.
    4. Drink good wine.
    5. Eat chocolate. Preferably in the company of good wine and girlfriends.

    That’s it. There’s not much else that really matters.

    Reply

  75. PaulaMc

    Oh so very wise thou art Joy the Baker. As someone who is turning 41 in August, I can tell you that is some seriously sound advice. Ever thought of publishing that list as a greeting card?

    Reply

  77. mimi

    That is such a fab list, probably good to hear at any age! You and my little sis share birthdays on that happy note, Happy Belated B-day!!!

    Reply

  80. caitlin

    as Your elder of 33 days, i say rock on with the very good advice, joy. and welcome to the (fake old) club.

    Reply

  82. Jessica-Lauren Roberts

    This is my favorite post of yours thus far; rivaled by the 30 things:)

    thank you for being a voice of beauty and simplicity and truth in society…especially on a cooking/life blog!

    Jessica-Lauren

    Reply

  84. Sarah

    I can’t believe we share a birthday! I turned 18 this saturday, so we both had milestone birthdays! I hope you enjoyed your day as much as I did. :)

    Reply

  85. Maria

    Awesome…even at 32 years old this advice is great. Love number Six…I really need to do that tonight! Thanks for sharing these little gems.

    Reply

  87. Becca

    Some of these made me smile and most of these ar great advise, however, I don’t eat anything green…ever. Maybe I should just dye some of my food green; would that count?

    Reply

  89. Mary at n00bcakes

    This is a great advice for any age (though having it at 21 would’ve given me more of a head start)! As usual, you’re a fantastic read, Joy. ^_^ (PS I will totally take your hair-back-cute-earrings advice. Also, second on the too-much-rum advice @.@).

    Reply

  91. andrea

    such an awesome post that i had to share with my facebook friends. i hope they check out your blog! very cool.

    Reply

  92. Alexa

    Hey Joy! BIG fan of your blog… and cooking! Just turned 21 this year and I can def say I’ve done a lot on your list already =]

    Reply

  93. Kristen

    Hey Joy – I’m big into organization but my to-do list was bogging me down. Doing daily lists on Post-its is so much better. Thanks for the great tip!

    Reply

  94. Lindsay Bowen

    What a great post! I could completely relate! I’m 29 and certainly “did” some of the “don’ts”. But it looks like I still got a lot of of “dos” to get done! Listen closely 21yr olds to be there’s quite a lot of wisdom packed into that post. ENJOY!

    Reply

  98. Patricia Calef

    Well, where in the heck is Brittany, the Birthday Girl? I hope not in Vegas with a giant cocktail cup in her hand.

    Reply

  100. Erin Louise

    Wow Joy….this is truly inspirational and like so many other readers I wish I could have heard this when I was so much younger…I guess 24 will have to do…better late then never! Thankyou so very much <3

    Reply

  104. laura @ glutton for nourishment

    i just turned 30 a couple of months ago too, and i can definitely say that i second just about every one of your recommendations for 21-year-olds!! if only i had known half of what i know now back then…but i guess then i wouldn’t have learned a lot in the last nine years.

    Reply

  109. Robin

    This is perfect. I just turned 21 yesterday (May 8th). Now, today, I feel like death, but this is totally easing the pain. :)

    Reply

  112. sarah

    19 and 20 were my favorites!!! You’re a badass lady inspiring other badasses nation/world wide. Thanks Joy!

    Reply

  115. Jillian C

    You could speak no truer words Joy! (and I’ll have to now try to make my own face scrub!)

    Thanks for being fabulous! Your blog always brightens my day!

    Reply

  117. Lisa

    Really sound advice. Have sent this on to my two teenage daughters… hopefully since it is NOT from me, they will take some of it in.

    Reply

  121. Jessie

    Where were you for my 21 yr old self? Thankfully, I learned from my mistakes. Love, love, love this post!

    Reply

  122. Wendy Darling

    My twin daughters just turned 13 last week… I think they need to read this NOW. Thanks Joy =)

    Reply

  123. Karissa

    I would have loved to read this when I turned 21 rather than now, being 22 going on 23 (what happened to this year?…), but it’s just as great of advice as it would have been. #19 is timeless. I could benefit from hearing that year after year.

    Reply

  124. Stef

    I’m going to save this and re-read it for every birthday I celebrate! Words of wisdom, for reals.

    Reply

  125. debbie

    I wish I had of read this when I was 18 – could’ve saved me a lot of hassle! Thankfully those days are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay behind me… like at least 15!

    Reply

  126. Alexis (from MN)

    Very well said! Very, VERY well said!!! Pay attention young ladies, she’s so SO on the friggin money with this post (coming from someone who’s a tad over 21 but remembers 21 well…..uh, well – kind of well).

    Reply

  128. Robyn

    I shared this post with my 4 best ladies. You are a wise woman, Joy. I am a lucky 20 year old who has friends that practice most of these things on a regular basis. I really enjoyed reading this, and kind of want to print it out to read everyday as a reminder of how to be a better human. You are great.

    Reply

  133. Amy R.

    Joy, this is fabulous! All things I wish I knew at 21 but could not agree with more now! Brittany is a lucky girl! Thanks for sharing!

    Reply

  134. Another birthday girl

    It’s my 20th birthday in approximately 41 minutes and these commandments made me feel happy and not so scared about growing older. Thanks!

    Reply

  135. Norma

    #Twenty: AWESOME!!!! It is so true. I’ve given it to God since I was five and I have a lifetime of knowing this to be true! He has never let me down. Not once. Peace woman~

    Reply

  138. Mrs. Muffins

    Great post! I happen to think this appropriate for all women. And that maybe we should learn some of these things before we turn 21… just sayin’ ;)
    xx

    Reply

  145. amanda

    Joy, you have the most amazing voice (written, that is). Your blog is completely addictive — not just for the food + photography, but also because your writing is just so dang smart + funny. Btw, your list is totally rad.

    Reply

  146. Courtney

    Joy, will you post your finished 30 things in 30 years list? Whenever your bday is, I hope you spend it with something chocolate … and your little monster. ;) Thanks for all the smiles. I want to be as good a blogger as you someday.
    Courtney

    Reply

  147. Mary

    What an awesome list! Very cool. I’m 7 years older than you…wondering if there are some things I know that I could pass along to you! I’ll give that some thought. In the meantime, let me just tell you that I’ve loved my 30s even more than my 20s. It just keeps getting better and better…

    Reply

  150. kimberly

    who knew I could love you more? this list absolutely rocks – re-twittering and facebooking now, if only because girls need to read this list – hell – we all need to read this list!
    xx

    Reply

  151. Kim

    I love all 21 pieces of advice, especially 16! Joy you are just awesome. This is going on my fridge :)

    Reply

  152. Amanda

    I’m interested in this raw honey and baking soda scrub. How much honey and how much baking soda? I gotsta try this…my husband put me on skin care spending lockdown. :)

    Reply

  153. Leslie

    Joy–your name suits you. Today, my biggest inspiration is working hard at what you love. I am in a place where I am just discovering my loves and want to pursue them. Thanks!

    I would love you to write about what you love? Is it baking? Is it writing? I would love it if you shared. And maybe you already have. If so, disregard this!

    Reply

  156. Anna

    excellent advice, i love it! only i have to say that SOME of us don’t have much of a choice with button up shirts, that button will always stretch! the alternative is to wear something that’s much too big and tent-like around the waist. undershirts with open button shirts are a possible solution, but until they start inventing button up shirts for big boobs and tiny waists that actually fit, i can’t promise you any changes!

    Reply

  157. Kim B

    Oh Joy, where were you when I turned 21? I could have used all your awesome, real-world advice! You are amazing. Thanks for always brightening my inbox!

    Reply

  163. Melissa

    I’m a couple weeks shy of my 27th birthday, and not only do I echo your sentiments, but I really enjoyed thinking about them in the context of my own life. Thanks for making me smile and take some time to reflect! :)

    Reply

  164. Shweta

    Such great,true, honest advice. I wish I had followed this at 21, but its never too late to follow good advice, is it ? :)

    Reply

  166. Erika

    Joy-
    I just really wanted to let you know that I make breakfast polenta every other day now.
    It’s your fault..

    Thank you so much.

    You really are becoming quite the inspiration to a lot of people. I can only hope that one day I can find myself in a similar situation.

    Reply

  170. tonje

    Joy, thank you for being awesome – from all of Norway (represented by me I don’t know if the rest of Norway knows your blog yet – but they will, and I’ll tell them I was here first. Well, after you, but you get my drift)

    Reply

  174. Kathy Schleicher

    JOY! I hope you truly had a wonderful birthday!

    Thank you for your “21 list” – really made me laugh! Especially loved the one about Facebook… I have nieces and nephews that LIVE FOR THE MOMENT with their iPhones or Androids plastered to their bodies/faces, and are constantly worried they are going to “miss” something. And the DRAMA when something erupts to burst their little bubbleheads. (I call them collectively “bubbleheads,” since they go around with their heads in a fog, eyes pasted to a little box in their hands, thumbs poised to text. Sometimes they even walk into walls! They trip a lot, too, because they are so focused on THE SCREEN!) They can be so funny – but I worry about ’em and traffic, etc.!

    I LOVE your recipes! Please keep up the good work… I’m a good deal older than you are, but I still haven’t grown up yet at 62! LOL!!

    One question – do you know of a substitute for “coconut?” For some reason, it causes me to break out into horrible itchy hives – no kidding! I even had to give up my yearly treasured Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies, because now they are made with PALM OIL (also from palms/coconuts!). I LOVE the taste of coconut, but several years ago developed this “allergy.” And also since palm oil is a cheap product, it is used an awful lot in a LOT of foods. I don’t eat out much, nor use many so-called “convenience” foods, because of this allergy.

    Thank you for your patience, and God Bless! ###—-> Kathy S (aka lakotakat)

    Reply

  175. Ami

    Joy,
    I love, love, LOVE this advice! I am the same age as you and wish someone had had this kind of advice for me. I too have learned most of these things the hard way! The items on this list are truly important for women of any age to keep in mind. Thank You!

    Reply

  177. Toni Martin

    Joy

    Love your post, it reminds me of the book “Life’s little instruction book”. We are raising a whole generation that can’t sew/create, can’t communicate and doesn’t seem to want to give God a chance.

    Reply

  178. Meredith

    Thanks for starting my day out with a laugh. I love the bitchy face comment! I also love how you sprinkle in just a hint of your honest faith! Thank You!

    Reply

  180. Catherine

    Ha! Love this – especially the one about laying off of Facebook. It does make people seem like their lives are so much more fantastic with zero probs…. going to make the scrub tomorrow :)

    Reply

  181. Sharon

    Beautiful. I wish I had this sage wisdom when I was turning 21. I think it’s good for me now, all these 15 years later.

    You’re awesome!

    Reply

  182. Beth

    Hello Joy,
    I’m turning 21 soon and have been having something of a crisis because it seems that I’m meant to be all grown-up now. Now that my morbid fear of Facebook and preference for the most expensive lipstick has been validated I feel much better. So, thank you Joy!

    Reply

  183. Fatema Bohra

    :) Sweet post! Joy is it ok if i liked this post a lil more than all the awesome recipe ones too?? im going to turn 26 soon!! n i want to follow everything on this list too! thank you! :)

    Reply

  186. Nicole

    AH! This is perfect. I love your advice and am taking it with me. As I am turning 21 this Tuesday!! PS I am also making your mothers day brunch recipes for my Mama on Mothers Day! Yay. Love your blog. And I think your really funny.

    Reply

  189. Deese

    Joy, this is a great post! I think there should be special advise for every birthday. Not just milestones. Who makes up these ages anyway? I think 27 and 42 should be just as important and symbolic as turning 30 or 40. Now obviously turning 18 and 21 have legal aspects, both ages give you rights that lead to adulthood, but what about 19 and 22? Poor ages need some love, some acknowledgement.

    But Brittany is legally able to do a lot of things now, basically anything but rent a car!

    Happy Birthday Brittany!

    Reply

  190. Mae @ Passionatemae

    Happy Birthday Joy! Make sure you eat lotsa cake! you deserve every bit of it :)
    I always enjoy reading your blog, it is truly inspiring whether it is through the food that you make or the advice that you share :)
    Keep it awesome always babe!

    p/s: Have a great 21st Brittany!

    Reply

  192. becca

    i turn 21 in 3 days! thank you for this wonderful post!
    i have been reading your blog for a long time now, but this is the first time i’ve commented :)

    Reply

  194. Elle Why

    Happy Birthday to my favorite blogger! I know you will celebrate joyfully and well….you should! I will pray blessings on your upcoming year for your continued health and joy! Glad you are doing what you love!
    ~L

    Reply

  196. Tori

    Thank you for this. Its not my brithday and I’m definitely older than 21 but your posts always make smile. You’re a really lovely woman. I just adore you.

    Reply

  197. Kiki

    Your entries always bring a smile to my face, and often I find myself laughing aloud. Great advice to women of many ages :) Thank you for your sincere vulnerability and transparent self. Have an amazing day in the Lord.

    Reply

  198. Melissa

    Joy this is a great list. As a southern lady that turned 27 this week, I think you missed a couple.
    – Make time every year to put your toes in the sand, soak up the sun and remember life is good
    – The best therapy is a girlfriend, some chocolate and a bottle of wine OR a 5 mile run
    – Family can drive you crazy but they made you who you are so you probably are a little annoying too
    Thanks for the post!

    Reply

  202. Jen G

    First of all – and maybe most importantly – Happy Birthday Brittany! And of course – not least – wonderful wonderful advice Joy! I wish someone told me these things on my 21st, this really does put a smile on my face. And I totally agree with sixteen – know thyself, own those heels and dresses at any age!!

    Reply

  203. Posti4

    You touched to me today Joy. Not just the Baker but the the woman who is learning to live life. I found you briiliant this evening,

    Reply

  205. Lori

    Joy, I wish you had been around with this post when I turned 21! I’m pushing 40 now. :) I agree with the others that your words are applicable to any age. Thank you for this gem. My daughter is 9 now, but I am going to print this and save it for her. I love your moxie!

    Reply

  206. Amy B in Portland

    Mind if I print and save this for my youngest step-daughter’s 21st birthday in 3 years? This is awesome. Now that I’m turning 21+ 30 soon I’ll thinking about this sage advice from one pal to another. Thanks for giving us such Joy!

    Reply

  207. tammy

    Joy, I LOVE you! I LOVE who you show up to be for your food, your friends, your readers, for LIFE & the world at large! You are absolutely breathtaking as a human being and I wish you (and Brittany) the best of all birthdays!! You inspire me in so many ways. Love & goodness be yours, you deserve it.

    Reply

  208. Rebecca A E

    Happy Birthday Brittany !!!

    Listen to Joy’s advice, you’ll hook a better Man that way. (Emphasis on man, not boy)

    Reply

  209. adrienne

    That’s just about the best way to live out your 20’s I’ve ever heard. I should know… I’m 30 ;)

    Reply

  210. Erica

    I don’t comment often, but I just have to say that I LOVE the real, honest, upbeat way that you write. So refreshing. Especially the part about Facebook! :) Happy, happy birthday from Dallas, Texas!

    Reply

  211. Angie

    Happy Birthday! This is such an awesome sentiment! May birthday’s rock (ahem, especially mother’s day birthdays, and ones that are on the 7th or 11th). As long as you keep being who you are (which to me seems pretty awesome!) you’re going to rock 30 like nothing it’s ever seen!

    Reply

  212. Dannie

    I turned 22 in February so this is a year late but I’m grateful for the advice! Thanks Joy! We love you for being you and sharing bits of yourself!

    Reply

  213. Georgia

    Hi Joy,
    A bit off the topic but I was looking through some of your recipes (amazing) and was wondering what Buttermilk is? I live in New Zealand so I’m guessing we either have another name for it or we just don’t have it!! Wikipedia didn’t really help. Thank you!!!

    Reply

  214. Pam

    Oh my god! This was the best read and so freaking true.

    Joy …. You did good!

    And happy birthday Brittany! Enjoy 21 and the birthdays after!

    Reply

  215. Cassie

    Joy,
    I love your blog. I read it all the time and I just turned 21; when I logged online, clicked my Joy the Baker bookmark and saw this entry, it made me smile. You are wonderful, your food is wonderful and your advice is wonderful. Thank you for being you!

    Reply

  216. Colleen

    That’s one of the best lists I’ve ever read. Second only to your 30 things to do before turning 30. I especially love #20.

    Reply

  217. Nikki

    Ah! This is so cute! I’m like happy for that girl! Im sure shes so excited or will be when she reads it!

    PS I turn 21 June 12th.. but I don’t drink bahah so I’ll expect a few diff gems ;]

    Reply

  218. Mon

    It was my 21st birthday a week ago. These are so fun! Thanks for the advice. You always know how to brighten my day :)

    Reply

  219. Bettye

    Joy,
    I know your Dad & Mom must be soooooooooooooo proud of you!!!
    You just put the icing on the cake!!!! No wonder I love your website!!!!!!
    Thank you Joy for being such a lady!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Happy Birthday, Sweet One!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

  220. Samara Dryburgh

    This Aussie loves the wisdom (even though she’s not 21) – and believes in everyone of those.

    Thanks for sharing :)

    Reply

  221. Shari

    Yep, agreed with everything you said. And one more thing….When you put it on the Lord, don’t forget to be really quiet for awhile and listen to what he has to tell you.

    Reply

  223. Alison

    This is why I follow your blog so diligently….you’re just so great. I concur with everything on your kick-ass list. I am an avid baker-in-the-making and that’s what brought me, but it’s your heart communicated through-out these pages that’s hooked me. Every once in awhile I pop out of the shadows to say so. Today is that day :) Thanks for being you.

    Reply

  224. haley

    Thank you. This is exactly the list I needed in my life. You may have made me cry a little bit, Joy. Happy birthday, Brittany!

    Reply

  226. Diana Livingston

    I’m 61 and having this tattoooooo’d on my chest. “TwentyOne: Work hard at the thing that you love. Like… really hard. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s dumb. If they do tell you it’s dumb… work harder and prove them wrong. But don’t rub it in their face- just be gracious, and wear expensive lipstick, and smile, and keep working.”

    Reply

  228. Rebekah

    I don’t turn 21 till November but I’ll be keeping this list. And I’m totally wearing skirt and heals this summer. You rock Joy!

    Reply

  231. alison

    I’ve turned 21+ twice already and still find your advice pure, lovely, coming from the heart!
    I’m so glad my cooking passion brought me accross your blog!
    Love every post I read :)

    Reply

  234. Marlene

    Where were you when I turned 21? Wait a minute….you were not even born! :) I’m 57 and this still resonates truthful to me. Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  237. Tara

    Tip #21 is so perfect to end on, Joy. For any of us, at any age, it’s so important to remember to work hard at what we love–especially when we have people in our lives trying to tell us it’s dumb. So we need to remind each other! It’s not dumb! We rock! Cookies for all!

    Seriously, though…thanks for being the one to remind me today. :) And Happy Birthday, Brittany!

    Reply

  240. Brittany

    thank you soooo much for the birthday post! you are amazing and so is this post! I just want to say that it is great that you actually posted a blog for me and it shows what a great person you are. thanks for being you :)

    Reply

    • Fee Bee

      First – everyone should wish they had a friend like Brittany’s.
      Second – These are 21 pieces of gold! Life-lessons are so much more valuable when you dont have to pay for them with your own mistakes.
      Third – My best friend already does everything you say to do!
      Fourth – Happy Birthday, Brittany!

      Reply

  241. Stephanie

    “A Girl’s Guide To Growing Up Awesomely” by Joy The Baker
    …you should totally make this your next book!
    Wish I’d had a list like this when I first turned 21!

    Reply

  242. Hannah

    You are so wonderful with words and your honesty sincerity shines through in all of your blogs!! Thank you so much ! I smile every time I read your blog! :) Thank you for your beautiful pictures, wonderful recipes and lovely outlook on life!!!

    Reply

  243. Kelli

    I love this! I just turned 21 a week ago, and this list is full of great advice. Your blog is so fantastic!

    Reply

  246. Hilray

    LOVE this post! I turned 21 about 8 months ago, and I would have loved to have read it back then. It might have helped a bit! :) But in reading it now, it’s funny to see how many of those same things I’ve learned since then! So thaank you. And I’m having a Sweet Tea Bourbon Cocktail tonight, just sayin. ;)

    Reply

  247. Nina

    How wonderfully funny of the universe…my 21st was yesterday, but these words are still what I’ve been trying to follow every day!

    keep writing and being the wonderful soul you are :)

    Reply

  248. Kim W.

    Thanks for this post Joy. I do try to pay attention to my resting face as I am a pharmacist and everyone can see me behind the counter as they walk by the pharmacy to grab their shampoo and such. It really makes a difference! No one wants to see a grouchy face all day. Great words of advice. I’m 40 and still learning.

    Reply

  249. Pam G

    What a wonderful post Joy great advice for younger girls who look up to beautiful people like you! I wish someone had shared something like this with me at 21. This post helped me realize I need to smile more : )

    Reply

  250. Amanda Faye

    I’m a new reader and I am hooked. I have checked in religiously for the last 20 days and I am hooked. And the advice…amazing! I turn 30 in 21 days and have to admit that I would have baked a cake and sent you a pair of to-die-for heels had you given me this advice on my 21st. Especially the jerk boy one. Anyway, you are awesome.

    Reply

  252. Robin O.

    Love your list Joy! I have twin girls turning 21 this August and I think I will incorporate some of your list in my toast (in our family each of us gives a toast after dinner to the birthday girl or boy, to start their year by saying something nice, funny, words of wisdom ect.).
    Happy Birthday to you Joy! I think you will find your 30’s to be some of your best years ever! You still have your youth and energy of your 20’s, but without the insecurity and stupid mistakes (i.e. #12 on your list). You really become “confident and comfortable” with who you are. You feel like a “real” adult and you don’t have to prove it to anyone. I have very fond memories of my 30’s. I know you will make a lot of fond memories of your own. To a decade of growth, happiness, health and love (and bourbon, cookies, pie, gin, good wine, beer, oh and cake!).

    Reply

  253. Jeni

    What a wonderful post! I am long past 21, but this brought back some memories, and I wish that I had someone give me good friendly advice when I was 21. Thank you Joy

    Reply

  254. DeeDee

    you’re the best/too cool. i wish we were real world friends. i’m 19, and i think this advice is perfect. thank you!

    Reply

  256. Gabrielle

    This is an amazing list, I am turning 9 years older than 21 this summer and there is still a lot I could take away from your list (but it’s too bad I rely on public transit, I would OWN #5!).

    Can I add one?
    22. Don’t be in a rush to appear all grown-up and successful. This is the best time to drop everything and follow a dream. Travel somewhere crazy. Quit your crappy job even if you don’t know what you will do next. Learn something new. The longer you wait, the harder it is to do these things. Do them now :) Enjoy being young and free instead of trying to meet other peoples expectations. There is time for that later.

    Reply

  258. Sarah

    Joy, I love how you sometimes sound like you’ve lived life 20-times over and have distilled those lives into only the good stuff. This is great advice for me and I was 21 a few years ago. I think I’m going to keep this and send it to my nieces when they are 21 and try to live by it myself.

    Now I just have to figure out what my resting face does….

    Reply

  260. Tori

    I love this! I’m turning 21 in two weeks and I can’t beliveve how much you hit the nail on the head with the bitchy face tip. That’s something I’ve been working on for a while now. Made me giggle :)

    Reply

  262. Kari

    Happy Birthday Joy! Let’s just say you’re turning 30 on the most appropriate day of the year, derby day! On my way to derby, I’ll drink a makers mark for ya!

    Reply

  263. Zehra

    Can i just say that i LOVE 8,10,11,15 and 20. Heck i love them all. Good advice all round. You really brighten up my day Joy.

    Reply

  264. Mich

    Joy…you made me laugh then you made me cry. Wow..how absolutely articulate and heartfelt can one amazing person be? Although I am slightly (tee hee) your senior, at a mere 50, I could totally relate to your pearls of wisdom and I applaud you for your witty humor and generous spirit. I lost my mom when I was 8yrs old and her name was also Joy…I guess I could imagine her sending me this list of intelligent “been there” advise. I will now forward this to my daughter who has recently turned 21. Thank you! You have wings! Love your recipe for life at 21 and always!

    Reply

  265. Bridget

    Thanks for the great advice Joy!! True words for any woman at any age!!! Keep up the wonderful, heartfelt posts :)

    Reply

  266. Sandra

    You’re the greatest–I’m going to be 60 and I wish I had a friend like you in the day, full of wisdom and fun!! Take care and don’t change….and Happy Birthday!!

    Reply

  269. Hannah

    I love your blog. You always make me laugh with just the right combination of craziness and truthfulness. Thanks for writing so often-your posts brighten up my screen and my day :)

    Reply

  270. Katherine

    This is vundervul! post-its are the shiz, i wish i invented them.
    yay brittany! yay joy! birthdays rule.

    Reply

  272. Mary Kelly

    Dearest, sweet Joy….I am 61 and I bless you for your wise words. Good advice for women of any age. Thank you for the joy everyday.

    Reply

  274. Katie

    Love this. I am now twenty one and a half and I’d say this is some great advice. I just copied it down with a purple pen and hung it on my wall.

    Reply

  276. Val

    I wish we were real life friends, you’re so cool and sweet. I turn 21 on Monday and I’m glad I read this post today, especially number 19. It’s the best piece of advice I’ve heard in a while.

    Thank you!

    Reply

  279. sarah

    I LOVE this post so much! I wish I was 21 again so I have an excuse to do all those things on your list (even though most should be avoided), it’s just at 35 some of the don’ts sound way more fun.

    Reply

  281. Kelli

    love, Love, LOVE this post, Joy!!! Such solid advice that I think a lot of people my age could use (I’m turning 21 in a lil less than a year). The reason I come to your blog more than any other is not only because you bake such delicious looking treats, but you always have heart-felt, witty advice and stories to go along. Thanks for putting a smile on my face almost every day :)

    Reply

  282. sirenjess

    You’re too sweet! My birthday is on Monday and I turn 31. I’m seriously thinking of baking my own birthday cake….and then eating it.

    Reply

  284. martha

    THIS IS LEGIT. I’m 32 years old and often feel as if I’ve JUST figured most of this out. Thank you for sharing!

    Reply

  285. Jessica @ bake me away!

    Can I just say how glad I am that facebook wasn’t around yet when we were in high school? Oy! I can only imagine all the extra drama (real and fake).

    I think there needs to be a place where people write to you seeking advice with baking or life in general questions, and you pick the ones you’d like to answer. “Dear Joy the Baker…” That could be kind of a lot of pressure, but it would be awesome.

    Reply

  286. Shannon

    Joy, just thought I’d let you know how fantastically awesome you are! I’ve searched and searched to find another blog as awesome as yours, but nada! I love how you do it all; you show me yummy cookies as well as yummy chicken pot pies! And to top it off… You do it all while making me laugh! You’re like the best Internet date ever! Love it!!!!

    Reply

  287. Huda

    Hello Joy!

    Your posts always get me smiling. I turned 21 at the end of April. These are really awesome tips for anyone, no matter what age though.

    xo

    Reply

  288. Anne

    Joy,
    You are truly one of the very beautiful people that grace this earth. Thank you for you. :)))))))
    Big Love, girl!

    Reply

  289. Pattypro

    I’m 18 years (and change) your senior and wish there had been someone like you to share this wisdom with me when I was turning 21. We all pretty much learn it along the way…some of us need to learn everything the hard way…but knowing that someone has already “been there, done that,” surely helps, at least some of the time. Definitely going to share and save this one.

    Reply

  290. Anne

    Wait, nothing about cookies or pancakes? Not even a hungover recipe? Nonetheless, great list, and I second what one of your readers said: publish that list! I so agree with the dresses and heels rule. I’m 5 years older than your targeted list reader, but I’m going to take a few of these into account from now on! Thanks for being awesome.

    Reply

  291. Iris

    This is lovely. I’m also a long time reader and I turn 21 in 21 days so I’ll to keep these in mind. And I’ll try to eat more of the green things. And Joy? You still own it nine years my senior and you will still own it twenty-five years from now.

    Reply

  292. Dawn P

    Well Said Joy, I love number 12 – never cute, I know of some 40 something year old women that could learn a few things here!

    Reply

  293. Kelly

    Joy, is it also a milestone birthday for you? That’s what I read into the 21+9 bit at the start. If so, Happy Birthday Joy! :) If not, sorry to assume and over think your blog. Love this advice! Where where you when I was twenty-one? Oh yeah, you were eleven. Anyway, this is some of the best advice. I especially like 5, 8, 11 and 20. Thank you once again for making me smile with your blog. Hugs and possible birthday sprinkles!

    Reply

  294. cheryl

    I know I should read all 160 comments that came before mine, but I can’t, so if someone has already told you about this, feel free to ignore me. In 10 years, when you’re 40, you should check out this site (http://4020vision.com/). It’s for women in their 40s who want to pass on words of wisdom to women in their 20s. I have nothing to do with the site (I just found out about it on Twitter a few months ago), but your lovely and oh-so-Joy list above made me realize you might enjoy it, too.

    Happy we met. You’re the shiznet.

    Reply

  296. Laura @ Family Spice

    I’m turning 40 this October and I’m still guilty of #8. : ) It could be the kids’ fault or lack of sleep. Hmmmm… I should look into that! You gave a great talk at camp, even though you were given the topic of SEO. Instead of getting lost in analytics, you made it fun and gave us a smile. Thanks for your input and have a fabulous weekend!

    Reply

  302. roxy

    Great advice! Even though I’m not 21 anymore I still think it applies to us girls in our twenties!

    Reply

  304. Lorren

    Now I really want to buy an expensive lipstick. And be 21, just so I can legitimately do these 21 things.

    Reply

  305. Stef

    Is there another Happy Birthday in order? You wrote about being nine years older and the “30 Things Before 30” post was in March…

    Reply

  306. Sarah W

    Joy
    I love this post!
    I wish someone had shared this wisdom with me when I was younger…
    You truly are a joy to me everyday.

    Thank you

    S

    Reply

  308. LouAnn

    Loved the advice even though I am a old woman! Copied it for my Granddaughter who can always start with advice at a young age and keep it close to her heart!!! Thank you again!

    Reply

  309. W2

    I am so much more than two times 21. I only wish you had been around when I was turning 21 to give me this list. I laughed, I cried. You are a wise woman. Thanks for this.

    Reply

  310. cindy

    resting face, haha! I am definitely victim of “bitchy resting face”…sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and I’m like, “whoa, there angry girl…”, then I switch to my “slightly-smiley-almost-crazy” face.

    I wish I had this list when I turned 21…instead of drinking too much and having to refinish a bathtub the next day due to a smoke bomb incident, true story. You’re full of wisdom joy :)

    Reply

  311. Angel

    i really enjoyed reading those advice, thank you was a pleasure to read and its so true about Facebook.
    and Happy Birthday to all those turning 21 you got a great life ahead of you!

    Reply

  312. CakeStory

    I may print this post out and tape it to my door. Beautiful, true and funny words of wisdom learned only on that on that rocky road known as our 20’s. I can say that, seeing as I’m turning 30 this year. Now, can you write me such an awesome post for MY birthday? It’s in December, you have plenty if time. Thanks. Xoxo

    Reply

  313. Jenna Sweitzer

    Joy –

    Thanks for posting these lovely words of wisdom! (even if they aren’t exactly for me) I am turning twenty-one in two months and its nice to get advice from someone who has been there/done that – but who also isn’t an old “cronie.” You are terriby humorous too…I love it! I also love your recipes – I just made your hot cross biscuits this morning and they were delicious!

    -Jenna

    Reply

  317. amy

    I love your blog. I love your food. I love your cat. We want more pictures of your little Mr. Orange.

    Reply

  318. Betsy

    I’m not Brittany, but today is also my 21st birthday and I was so excited when I read this! Happy birthday Brittany! You’re a lucky girl :)

    Reply

  319. Janele Oros

    What great wisdom :) made me nostalgic, and weepy, and sappy, and want to kiss the faces of sweet young women taking another step in this wonderful life (like I said, it made me sappy…) Happy Birthday 21-ers!

    Reply

  320. Caroline

    Happy Birthday!
    Your list has a lot of wisdom for a 21 year old. I hope you continue to mature and grow into adulthood with such a generous and loving heart. May you keep your #13 goal the rest of your life. That’s one I try to do too.

    Reply

  322. ellen

    okay now i am half a decade from being 21… uh yup hi there all you coolies

    i love this post. especially numbers like 14 because my mom (who is always right, i mean really, moms are) told me to put my hair back, and show off my features and i always hide behind my hair or etc. but ya know what? you’re right.

    oh and the thing about boys? totally true joy. you’re amazing. i love this. i am gonna look back at this and one day perhaps i really am gonna wear some heels and shake my booty when i walk. oh yeah! public transport? not that day! *cringe* <3

    Reply

  323. Emily Rose

    Joy,
    Though there is no food involved here, this is one of my favorite posts! Joy, you are awesome and your advice is the best I’ve heard in a long time. I have a feeling you’re even more amazing and cool than I already give you high credit for being! Keep it up! I love your blog, recipes, advice, and style.

    An admiring fan that’s well past 21!
    Emily :)

    Reply

  324. Shelby @ Lady Gouda

    hahhaha I just loved this so much. I feel like I could send this around to all of my friends, because even though we all turned 21 8 or 9 years ago, much of this advice still resonates. I particularly like the one about making sure your resting face wasn’t a bitch face. And the one about the boob-gap issue.

    Joy, I think you are so kind to interact with your readers like this. THIS is why I read your blog (also, you are hilarious).

    Reply

  325. Julie H.

    How stinkin wonderful is this post! What a wonderful friend Kelsey is, she will be a friend till the end, I can tell :)
    How thoughtful of you, Joy, to make a birthday girls day! Joy you are truly one of a kind…. and you own it! :)

    Reply

  327. Patricia

    I turned THIRTY-FOUR yesterday (that can’t possibly be right!), and I can wholeheartedly endorse numbers 3,4,5,6,…oh hell, ALL of them! Awesome advice, Joy ;) Listen to her, youngsters (which still does include you, Joy), don’t learn the hard way! ;P

    Reply

  331. Beauty & the Feast

    I love this SO MUCH. I turn 20 in about a month, I’m pretending you wrote it to me, Okay? Perf. But really, beautiful advice for daily existence. I’m sure whoever the special b-day girl is really appreciates this, and a very happy 21st birfday to her!!

    Reply

  335. Courtney

    Perfect….absolutly perfect! I laughed at about 18 of these suggestions…so good and so true!

    Reply

  338. diane stanley

    This is such a great post. You should turn it into a book for young women! Witty with good advise.
    You forgot one more…boys give love to get sex and girls give sex to get love…until it’s the real thing! So be careful!

    Reply

  340. Kerry (newlywedcooks)

    I am so guilty of the bitchface and I’m 24. I seriously am the nicest person ever, but somehow, my relaxed face is nothing short of complete bitchface. Sometimes I realize this and try to contort it, but then people ask what’s wrong with me cause it turns into some kind of half smile have pursed lips and my eyebrows are like, in my hairline. sigh.

    It’s a mess.

    Reply

  342. Sonia

    Right on! This reminds me of the mix-tape my hippy-ish auntie made me when I turned 18. It had David Bowie and Carly Simon on it and that sucker’s still changing my life. I’m now a deliciously seasoned 37 with a man and a fam, strolling through life and taking it easy, because, you’re right — we’ll all be dead soon!

    PS – You are absolutely the best blogstress (??) on the planet, no joshin’ and no pressure. ;)

    Reply

  344. Nani

    Where were you when I turned 21? My own mother was not this wise (or else she was keeping it to herself)…….

    Reply

  345. Lauren

    You had me at sweet tea bourbon cocktails yesterday, but this is just awesome. I’m blogging about hitting the big quarter-century mark right now, and these are all lessons I’ve learned (or tried to) over the last few years. Great advice.

    Reply

  346. Julie

    A fun read to start my morning!…….Loved the hostess gift suggestion—-funny! My hairdresser always brings a big bottle of shampoo as a hostess gift. :)

    Reply

  347. Catherine

    Wow, thanks Joy! I’m only 17, but a lot of this advice applies to any age. As always, you put a smile on my face this morning :)

    Reply

  348. nancy k.

    Wonderful post Joy! As someone well past 21, I wish someone had passed such special, funny and perfect advice along to me when I was that young.You are a special woman Joy and I for one sincerely appreciate that you share a piece of yourself here on this blog.

    Reply

  350. JasSethi

    :D…
    splendid!!

    Beautiful words to learn from!! and yes, Being 22, i cant help but learn from it all too! :)

    Happy birthday Brittany!

    Reply

  351. Shanon

    This might be my favorite post ever. You are seriously the coolest person, Joy…what a 21st birthday gift! And Happy Birthday to Brittany. My little sister is turning 21 in a few weeks…and I am sending her your post. :)

    Reply

  353. Jess

    Ahhhh….sage advice from the 29 year old. I love it. As one who will soon celebrate the 20th anniversary of my 21st birthday, this is a truly wonderful birthday gift. I am going to print it out for my teenage daughter. We both find you witty, kind, crunchy, groovy, modern, trendy and so much fun to read.

    Thank you for the birthday gift….we can all use being reminded these points… and the value of a post-it-note and the dangers of rum.

    Reply

  354. Michelle S

    A friend of mine steered me to this post and I LOVE it. Seventeen is awesome! Never would have thought of that, but it is cute.

    Honey and raw oatmeal also makes a good exfoliating face scrub. Yeah you look a little creepy while you’re using it, but it is really nice on your skin actually.

    Reply

  356. Michelle W

    Great words of wisdom! You not only have GREAT recipes – you give GREAT advise. You’ve taken the old adage “To thine own self be true” and made it pertinent to today’s young women. I especially loved 11 & 12. Life is not “Jersey Shore”. All the stupid things and foul language posted on social pages can and will come back to haunt you. Being responsible is a gift we give ourselves.

    Reply

  357. shmaynor

    Joy–beautiful, wise list. Though I’m well past 21 (in bodily structure but I’m still sometimes 21 inside…), it gives such perspective for those becoming women. Also, I may have read this wrong, but could it possibly be your birthday?? Wondering from your first line…so if it is, happiest of days. If not, I do remember you blogging that it is indeed coming, so happy birthday early. Becoming 30 is…well…epic in its own right. Definitely calls for something richly decadent like an amaretto chocolate torte.

    Reply

  360. Casey S.

    Love number eight! My husband and I call that “bitch face”.

    Fantastic advice and there are probably quite a few in there I need to start following. :)

    Reply

  361. Morgan

    Wow. This post was awesome! I’ve only been reading your blog for a few weeks not, but your recipes are amazing and your advice and sound and wisdom-ful. Yes, I just coined that word and it shall soon be popular! I just turned 19 last week and I can NOT wait for my 20’s! Thanks for sharing this list with all of us on behalf of Brittany!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRITTANY!!! I hope you enjoy every minute of it!

    Reply

  364. Tina Biffle

    22—–One to Grow On——-Don’t ever think that you are not good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, young enough, or old enough to be the beautifully distinct person that God made you to be. No one else is just like you in any way…..you are perfect the way you are. Live like that, and life gets better and better the older you get! Happy Birthday Brittany! All the way from Texas!!—

    Reply

  367. jomamma

    Very good advice for a woman of such a young age. I want to add to #8… keep a tiny mirror at your desk, have it positioned just right so that you can glance over to see what you look like when your are concentrating really hard. It also comes in handy to see if you have something in your teeth or your lipstick is smudged. Some may think it’s rather vain, but it’s not… I have co-workers that I’m constantly telling them “you are pooching your lip out really far and it looks funny, don’t do that…. your face is gonna stay that way.” or “why are you pinching your eyebrows? You’re gonna get a big wrinkle in your forehead… don’t do that.” I’m not mean, I just want my co-workers to look their best, and not have unsightly wrinkles. Kind of like you, I know of what I speak. I even went as far as getting them both monitor lifts for their computer screens so that they have to tilt their heads up a bit… no more neck wrinkles! I also splurged for foot rests too.

    Reply

  368. Cheryl

    I am forwarding this emaiil to my daughters, age 25, 23, 21, 17 and 16. This is information that they need, and they will probably listen to YOU! (not mom) Thanks, Joy!

    Reply

  373. Erin

    Great list! Oh the things I wish I had known when I turned 21 (8 years ago). Can I add several though?

    1. All the crap from your past that you bury? Go to a counselor, get it out in the open and deal with it, and move on. And I’m speaking from experience here. Best thing I ever did.
    2. Realize that God loves you sooooo infinitely that He sent His Son to die for you so you could live forever in Heaven with Him. Accepting that Truth will truly set you free and completely change your life!
    3. Confidence is key. It’s your life – own it!

    Happy Birthday Brittany!!!!!!!! God Bless.

    Reply

  374. catherine

    this is wonderful advice. im saving it for teenage nieces who are rapidly approaching ‘adulthood’. do you mind if i share?

    Reply

  379. Helen

    This is why I always enJOY your blog. You are fun, personal and help me think out of the box when cooking. Thank you for being real.

    Reply

  380. Renny

    Aw, I love this! What a nice blog celebrity you are! I love three! I did not even HAVE a Facebook when I turned twenty one! That’s right kids, there was a time when Facebook did not exist… (or maybe I just refused to get one. That was probably a really good decision.)

    Might I suggest a cami under the button up shirt in lieu of the bra showing? A good cami can work wonders.

    Happy Birthday Brittany!

    Reply

  381. Jenny

    It’s my 26th birthday today… some of these lessons i’ve learned, some i know and need to put into practice, but all of them are worth the time of day… Happy Birthday Brittany, Happy Birthday me! Happy Birthday lessons for everyone!

    Reply

  382. lizzy

    i turned twenty-one in march but i still soaked this up. thank you so much. it is evident that you such a lady, an adventurer, and a dream-chaser. this makes me want to sit down with you at a picnic and ask dozens of questions and share stories. one day?

    Reply

  384. Tammie Perry

    LOVE this post…I’m going to let my twin 20 year old girls read this! Thanks Joy for another post that’s right on the mark. Oh and the part about if a guys a jerk…he’s dead to you – you have no idea how much I would have learned this sooner.

    Reply

  386. Alexandra Owens

    Ok this is a tad self centered but I awoke at 5:30 with a toddler dying to wake up and as I sat here on my couch and cuddled with a sick little man on my 29th birthday I was so excited that you said happy birthday to me LOL your wisdom is beautiful and timeless

    Reply

  387. Karla

    This is too sweet!
    Good advice even if you already passed 21.
    I would only add one thing: Love yourself, because you’re fantastic and should never forget it!

    Reply

  388. Dani

    I turned 21 30 years ago…ouch…it did involve alcohol & nudity but not my own so it was all good!! Great blog, thanks for sharing!

    Reply

  391. sallie phelan

    I love this !! I am sharing it with my 17 year old daughter – sometimes life lessons sound better when coming from a stranger !!!! I love your blog, and I visit everyday !!!!!! HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !!!

    Reply

  394. marytn

    Oh, Joy—-this is so awesome and you are wise beyond your years! I love you—have a happy, butter-y weekend! xoxo

    Reply

  395. Leslie

    Rarely do I leave comments but I am a faithful follower of your blog and this one is truly a gem. You are wise beyond your years, wish I had this advice 33 years years ago when I turned 21 (holy crap – how can THAT be true!) Keep writing & baking!

    Reply

  397. Becca

    Giiiiirl you know it. Awesome post. Would you mind if I sent this to every early 20-something I know?? ‘If a guy is a jerk, he’s dead to you’ – PREACH. I think everyone needs to read this no matter what age. Every year this blog gets better and better. If I ever lose my internet I would miss you the most. Truth.

    Reply

  400. Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga)

    “Don’t do stupid things that relate to booze, boys, nudity, and consequences. Keep it together. Drink more water than booze. Sloppy is never cute.”–

    AMEN!! God, I wish I could scream that message from the rooftops. Sloppy is never cute! And those big yards that people carry and drink from? Agreed totally with you on those, too!

    And I wish at 21 I had had a clue. I didnt and was plenty sloppy, no doubt. And was no lily white angel, either!

    Loser guys, eating green food, making things, putting it on the Lord. Gosh, I LOVE this post!!!

    HAPPY BDAY!!!!!

    Reply

  401. Sarah

    Amazing. My daughter just turned 21 and I’m sending her this. Better than I could have said and not sure she listens to me yet anyway :)

    I love your writing

    Reply

  402. Claudia

    I am not turning 21 today, but I love the advice that you have given. I will definitely be respecting it. Thanks for being awesome!

    Reply

  404. maria

    you made me write joy.this post was brilliant. i am
    your silent reader but i love your blog and i love your
    food for sure:)

    Reply

  406. Kel

    Oh Joy, you really are your name by nature. I loved today’s blog. Being I celebrated 21 a decade ago I can only agree with you wholeheartedly. I would love to be able to write my 21 year old self a letter to advise of all the things that could lead me astray. 21 year olds take heed of these very wise pearls of wisdom from our Joy; you are young but once, but the memories of what you do, or don’t do wiill be with you forever!

    Reply

  407. Sherisa (Lélephant Rose)

    This is the wisest and truest post I’ve read for a younger person. Every 21 (and 22, 23, 24….) year old should hear this. The 20s are the most rapidly changing from year to year. Being at the end of it, I wish I heard that at the start myself. Bravo Joy! And Happy Birthday Brittany!

    Reply

  408. Anna

    Great list! I’m taking it to heart ’cause my birthday’s next week.

    Twenty-five. That century’s just inching closer… ;)

    Reply

  409. Rach

    THIS. Except I will say that for some of us the tragedy of resting bitchface is difficult to overcome. I’ve been short sighted my entire life, but only got glasses when I was 20, and as a result my default expression is a kind of bitchy, angry squint because my muscles are used to 20 years of struggling to see. Solidarity with my accidental bitchface sisters!

    Reply

  410. Joy D

    Happy Birthday Joy from Joy! Hope you have the most fantastic day :-) Great advice for pretty much any age there, and I’m, errrrm, (whispers) almost 17 years your senior! Love you blog x

    Reply

  411. Heather C

    Joy, I’m sorry I’ve never commented on your blog before. BUT, I love it. I really do. AND this post is ace. Keep the good stuff coming. As an American in London I revel in the joy (ha! pun actually not intended!) and baking inspiration that your blog brings me daily!

    Reply

  413. Mama Maria

    1st things 1st…
    Happy Birthday Brittany!

    Joy, you’re awesome and I freaking love you and your post! :)

    Especially love #20 of the list.

    Reply

  414. Vincent

    I read your blog all the time, but have never before commented.

    This post really moved me- the generosity of your spirit and your cooking.

    You’re awesome!

    Reply

  416. vegiebug

    THIS WAS THE BEST POST EVER. You know something is really good-funny when you read it aloud to someone else :D Just eggcellent! (and true!)

    Reply

  417. Holly

    May people are great people. I turned 22 on May 6th, so I’m going to totally take your advice on board. Do you have an additional tip for that good old 22? <3

    Reply

  418. Lucia

    Dear Joy.
    I’m turning 21 in two weeks, so I read your advice very carefully.
    I already make lists, but I really should learn to sew.
    Thanks for telling Brittany and us not to feel embarassed for asking stupid questions.
    I’ll keep working hard at the things I love. I’ll prove people that I can realize my dreams.
    Thanks, Joy. A big hug.

    Reply

  419. katescakesandbakes

    My sister turned 21 last year and my advice to her, being now also 9 years away from 21 was

    ‘the world is your oyster. Treat it as such and enjoy the adventure.’

    It was such an exciting age, your twenties laid out infront of you…

    Ohh, I’m getting all reminiscent now! Better go check out some old photos and drink gin.

    Reply

  420. Reghan

    3 things.

    1. I love love love this post. I turn 21 in November and this is probably the best (possibly the only) advice I’ll get for turning fully legal.

    2. The first post I ever ever read of yours was about you ripping your shirt off in public because of a clever little bee. That, in my opinion, has to be the best way to be introduced to you. Virtually, anyway. Which brings me to my point. You have this uncanny ability to make everything in life, not only okay, but funny. Really funny. No matter what it is. And I just love that about you.

    Reply

    • Reghan

      I suppose, thanks to my impatient computer, thing number 3 can go here.

      3. That same uncanny ability to make everything okay has gotten me through more stressful days than I can remember. I mostly think of how funny a stressful situation would be if it were in blog form, especially if you wrote it. So thanks.

      Reply

  421. Erin

    I think we could be friends. Because this is amazing. I love your blog.
    Happy Birthday Brittany! and, also, I’m bookmarking this for my 21st (in one year and two months and 13 days… not hinting anything at all…)
    I love the “Eat something green everyday”. It reminds me of Michael Pollan’s food manifesto: “Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”

    Reply

  422. heidifay

    I have to say that is great/amazing advice. Especially 5 and 19 and the facebook bits. If you can’t think of enough recipes for a second cookbook, I think you could just write a funny life advice book. And, well, maybe it could include a few recipes. But it could be mostly genius like this. :)

    also, that is super sweet you are sharing your wisdom with brittany & the rest of the world.

    Reply

  423. Lynne

    Joy,
    thanks for always keeping it “real”, even for those of us quite past 21.
    I love you for that.
    Happy Birthday, Brittany!

    Reply

  427. Shirleen

    Like always, a fantastic post. As I read your list of tips, I found myself nodding, and smiling, and nodding, and giggling. Not in that order. Its light years ago since I was 21…or 30, and through the years, I’ve stumbled, fallen, gotten up (again and again x a million times) that I should really think seriously about knee reconstruction. Wish I knew someone like you when I was 21 with a handy list of tips just like that. I’d have much smoother knees! :-)

    Reply

  428. Jen

    you know, I started reading your blog like a month ago, and I don’t even remember how I found it, but I’m liking it and you more and more each day.

    Reply

  429. kara

    I LOVE this! this, in addition to all the absolutely delicious recipes you post, makes me want to be your friend. I don’t know if you read jenna’s blog (eat live run… I also want to be her friend) but she posted a link to an article from Relevant magazine the other day that was things to know at 25 years old (which I am) and this makes me think of that too. :)

    Reply

  430. Alissa

    I just turned 21 a couple days ago! Not much pertains to me ~ But I love 17 & 18…. Totally buy my friends&fam lame stuff like cereal & milk. When they’re REALLY deserving they get my orange rolls :o)

    Reply

  432. Abby

    whoever brittany is she just got a TREAT. also this is my favorite entry that you’ve written so far. like for realz.

    but also i love your baking and stuff so don’t worry.

    Reply

  433. Brittany

    Well my name’s Brittany but my 21st birthday was 2.5 years ago. Is it okay if I just pretend it was my 21st birthday today anyways? Love the advice Joy. Can we be friends?

    Reply

  434. Krystie

    After reading this entry, I immediately looked for a ‘Like’ button.

    I think I need to chill out on the Facebook, seriously…

    Reply

  436. Johanna

    words of wisdom eh. I love this. I am 24 and have worked hard at pretty much all of those, I fall down on ‘expensive lipstick – still to poor’, bitchy face – gotta work on that, drinking more water is ALWAYS a good idea, I achieve this 99% of the time.

    I think for my 25th birthday this year i’ll make a list too…for myself – am I totally lame? YES but I am ‘owning it’ so it’s ok right?

    Reply

  437. eko

    Absolutely rock solid/great advice!! You have certainly taught this ole dog some new tips. :)
    Happy Birthday to Brittany!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply

  438. Jill

    love this. I’m hitting close to three zero and cannot believe how fast the twenties are passing by.
    I agree the most beautiful woman are no longer when they are sloppy drunk (trust me, I used to work at a restaurant.. not pretty). I would add travel/overseas volunteer whenever the opportunity arises… or make that opportunity for yourself! Those early twenty somethings are meant to galavant across the world, to gain some compassion, and to understand another way of life before you become stuck in yours.

    Reply

  439. Franne

    THIS.
    This is an awesome post.
    I agree with all 21 pieces of gold you’ve thrown up here and couldn’t have phrased them better myself. I rarely leave comments on any of the many blogs I read, but this one deserved a high five and a pat on the back.
    Nice work, Joy!

    P.S. I turn 29 on October 24th. Feel free send me some birthday wisdom.

    Reply

  440. Leah

    Great list. And speaking of someone who is 15 years older than 21 (wow, I’m old!), I learned a few things from your great tips.Love the “wear a different shirt” tip. ‘Cause that’s just wrong no matter how old you are.

    Reply

  442. Camels & Chocolate

    Bulleit bourbon is my absolute FAVORITE. I only wish I’d had such taste at 21…back then, I’m pretty sure I was addicted to the Cap’n and anything else that meshed with my bank account ;-)

    Reply

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