Blue Print Cleanse

juice collage

Friends.  Hi.

You might know that I just finished working on my first cookbook.  It’s a baking book…. duh.  I spent months knee deep in butter and sugar and flour and cream.  It was delicious.  It was overwhelming.  It made my waist bigger.  It made my pants tighter.  How could it not!?  I think I was absorbing butter and sugar through my pores.  Wait.  Can you gain weight through your pores?  Call a scientist.

After I turned in my manuscript, I decided to clear out my system with a cleanse.  Before you tune out… listen.  I’m not a cleanse girl.  I’m not particularly fancy.  I really really really like to eat food.  I just thought this might be a good thing to do for my body to regulate my sugar cravings and try to get myself back in control.  I don’t own a scale.  I wasn’t trying to lose weight.  I just thought a few days of wholesome juices might be a good way to counteract the constant stream of butter I had allowed into my system.

I embarked on a three day juice cleanse with Blue Print Cleanse.  The word ‘embark’ makes this process sound far more daunting that it actually was.  This post is more words that I ever write on my blog.  I just wanted to tell you what happens when a girl that is totally into food only drinks juice for three days.

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In the days before my juice cleanse I tried to revamp my diet.  I stayed away from meat.  I ate salads.  I drank tea.  And I don’t want to talk about how many french fries I ate…. the number is more than 10.  Whatever.

Day One:  Alright belly.  Food is so… yesterday.  I start off strong with the juices.  Juice. Water. Tea. Water. Juice.  Everything is going along just swimmingly.  And (miracle of all miracles)  I’m totally not hungry. Well well well.  Imagine that!  I have a pep in my step, I go for a long bike ride, and I’m stoked on the day.  Unfortunately, it all came to a screeching halt when I went for my first colonic.  See… the BPC website highly suggests you go for a colonic during your cleanse.  I wanted to get the full cleanse experience.  Um… I’m sure this procedure works for some people.  It’s just not for me.    (If you’re feeling faint at the mere mention of a colonic, feel free to skip the next paragraph.)

…If you don’t know what a colonic is… google it.  It’s a hot mess.  I hated every single second of it.  Sweet Lord.  Not ok.  The lady tried to convince me that I had major problems going on inside my body.  Um… guess what super ancient colonic lady?  I totally don’t believe you.  I’m pretty sure I’m young and healthy, and I take care of my body, and the major problem with my body right now is the hose you have shoved where the sun don’t shine.  Kindly remove that hose, your hands, the giant massager you insist I put on my belly.  Get everything off me exactly right now so I can run screaming from this place.  The classical music isn’t helping.  What are you doing on your iPad, colonic lady!?  You’re like… 80.  Are you playing solitaire?  Cause that’s annoying.  Oh Lord.  Help.  Stop saying I have high cholesterol.  Did you know there’s a legit test for that?  Yea.  Check your iPad.  There’s nothing wrong with me…. except for the fact that all  I want to do now is sit in the fetal position and eat cheeseburgers.   See what you’ve done?  Thanks for that.

Day One (the saga continues)… I don’t eat cheeseburgers.  Ooooh heavens.  I really want to.  It’s not that I’m hungry, it’s just that I want fat in my face after such a traumatic experience.  I push through, drink more juice and handle my business.  The first day was much easier that I thought it would be.  I thought I’d suffer without cookies and kale and rice and bacon…. the things I normally eat.  There’s was no suffering!  I even struggled to finish all of my juices because I felt so full.

bike beach

Day Two:  Whoa!  I woke up from the craziest dreams.  Not scary-clown crazy… but vivid and topical and totally appropriate for where my brain is.  I was dreaming about issues that I’ve shoved to the back of my brain in an effort to avoid.  … But after one day of no food, they all can rushing forward.  It felt good.  I felt like I could settle some things and get some clarity.  Now… I know this sounds totally hippy-dippy… and this is totally not my style.  But!!  I felt like I had some amazing mental clarity.  My brain felt unclogged and I didn’t even know it was stopped up.  I took some time to sit and be quiet in prayer.  Supreme.

coffee and cake

What’s up lunchtime?  It’s not that I’m hungry… It’s just that I want a giant sandwich for my face.  I had meetings on my second day of the cleanse.  That means that I had to be out in the world, interacting with people… normal people who eat delicious food for lunch.  I had juice.  I didn’t make a bit deal out of it.  I didn’t feel superior.  I didn’t feel fancy.  I just drank my pineapple juice thingy and enjoyed it.

I went to a spin class on Day Two of the cleanse.  I was feeling particularly badass.  I had enough energy to sweat buckets for 45 minutes.  Um… where did all this energy come from?  Amazing.  The only slight downside was that after the mega work out, all I could think about was dinner… and beet juice didn’t really fill the dinner void.  To fill the void, I heated up a mug of low sodium vegetable broth cut with hot water.  I know.  This sounds totally crazy.  I just wanted something savory and warm and dinnery feeling and the vegetable broth solved the dinner problem.

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Day Three:  Alright.  Another day, another six juices.  By now I feel like I’m an old pro at this.  I even get in the kitchen and start making this soup.  It’s totally weird cooking food that you can’t really eat.  It smelled really good.  That’s a problem.  I took pictures of the soup.  I took five small tastes of the soup.  I put the soup in a container in the fridge and forgot about it… until dinner time.

Dinnertime: when I naturally want to shovel food into my mouth.  In a moment of weakness, I texted my friend for a dinner date.  Dinner date!  Since this friend had ribbed me through my whole cleanse… I thought he’d surely be happy to help me break my fast and cheat a bit.  His response “I secretly hoped you wouldn’t break your cleanse”.  And with that, my confidence was restored and I stuck to the juices.

food again

After the Cleanse:  Food.  Food.  Food.  Food!  It’s a day for foooooood!  The one ironic bit about the first day back at food; I’m not really hungry.  Like… at all.  This is practically unheard of in my life.  I started slow with a banana, warmed up to a small salad and had lots of tea.  Amazing, my craving for sugar did not rule my life.  I know in my brain that that bag of Cheetos is delicious, but for some reason I don’t need to pour it into my face.

Overall, I feel great!  My wine consumption is in check, my sugar cravings have toned waaaaay down, and the jeans that were once a little tight at the waist, now fit like a dream.  I can’t tell you whether or not I lost weight, since I don’t have a scale, but I can tell you that I feel great from the inside out, my skin is bright and happy and my clothes fit better… and!!! I crave whole, healthy foods now more than junk.  I’m stoked.

I wouldn’t suggest this cleanse as a weight loss, ‘I need to go on a crash diet’ tool.  I don’t think you should ever go on a crash diet… so there.  While it seems that I did lose a few pounds on this system, I fully expect to gain some weight back… you know… since I’m eating real food again.  This juice cleanse was very effective in helping me reset my food choices and I think that will benefit my waistline in the long run.  Also… the juice is delicious.  Deeeeelicious!

Please also note:  I’ll happily chow down on some fries next week and I won’t even feel a little bit guilty.

1,847 thoughts on “Blue Print Cleanse

  1. Ooo, I think I could really use a cleanse. I’ve been traveling around lots for graduate school interviews and have been eating a whole mess of random foods. Your post makes me think I might be able to handle a cleanse and actually enjoy it … although I don’t know if I’d go for the colonic, you’re intense :)!

  2. Cleanses are so big in Japan (the country of agar-agar diet), but I want to try!
    Not because I’ve written a cookbook (can’t wait for yours!) but because I’ve recently been eating (only) a bag of “Smart Cheddar Puffs” (or w/e) from the vending machine for lunch. I need to not crave cheese puffs.

  3. Thanks for the detailed description of your 3 day juice fest :) I too would like to feel healthier and shrink my sweet tooth. The zen-like morning on day 2 wouldn’t hurt either …

  4. I’ve always wanted to try a juice cleanse but have never been able to afford it (being on a student budget and all…) this would be a really cool way to see what it’s all about!

  5. I don’t really trust myself to do a cleanse on my own, with just the book and my own willpower. But I think a day or two of trying the real deal will help me a lot, and I really like the idea of calming down sugar cravings…

  6. I’ve been meaning to do a BPC for awhile, but it’s quite pricey. I’ve tried their individual green juice and loved it. I would love to try a full day cleanse though!

  7. Hard to believe I’m writing this after all the chocolate I ate this week, but… I’m game! A few days of juice and healthiness sounds pretty cool. :)

  8. I tried a cleanse when I lived in Vancouver. It was soup-based and I felt none of this energy you felt! Then again, I don’t think I did it correctly. I’m glad yours was a success and I hope you eat fries for breakfast with jam, lunch with ketchup and dinner with wine this week!

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