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These Things I’ve Learned in Thirty Years

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31

I have lived a full thirty years.  Thirty years full of fumbles and mistakes.  Thirty years of accidents and apologies.  Thirty years of learning.

These are the trivial bits of thirty years of learning.  Some of these lessons it took me three minutes to learn, others… about 29 years and 347 days.

If the word ‘you’ ever appears in this list of learning, please rest assured that I am referring to myself.  I’m still learning… you, surely, are good as gold.

These Thirty-ish Things:

Go to college.  Just go.  It’s where you’ll learn how to be, how not to be, and how to set booby traps in the shower so your roommate stops using your expensive shampoo.

Learn how to apologize sincerely.

Eye contact is major.  Get into it.

Talking crap about people sometimes feels good (just admit it), but tastes bad.  It’s the opposite of eating McDonald’s.

If it hurts, don’t wear it.  At some point the pain will show.

Learn how to wear lipstick and werk.

The day you look dumb in the grocery store at 7:19 in the morning is also the day you run into that duuude you don’t want to run into, and his stupid-hot-at-7:19-in-the-morning girlfriend.  Don’t worry.  You’re buying kale and olive oil.  At least you can cook.

Overdress, always.  Unless it’s heels in a park… that doesn’t work.

(thank you for the picture above, michael.)

31

In every situation, consider the likelihood of skinny-dipping.  Act accordingly.

Check out your hair from behind… yea… you’ve got a whole situation going on back there.

Exfoliate:  your kitchen, your shower, your carpets, and your body.

Find out what color  dress/shirt/lipstick makes your eyes pop.  Buy a lot of it.

31

Never ever ever ever EVER ever ever take your shoes off in the club.

If you feel a deep need to take your shoes off in the club, walk your butt outside, get in a cab, and go home.  Game over.

No one keeps secrets.  Remember this when you’re telling people all your business.

Life is not fair.  That fact is profoundly frustrating.  My Mom taught me this… dang was she right.

Don’t wait for some dumb boy to give you closure.  You give yourself closure.  That’s real.  Tie that mess right on up.  Buy ice cream if necessary.

31

Sometimes it’s not fate, or a sign… but just a coincidence.

You are not inherently patient.  It’s an exercise.

Learn how to do something exceptionally well.  Never apologize for that.  Step up.

Watch Inception as many times times as you need to.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt floats and Juno flips walls… It’s just a whole thing.

31

Learn how to make cookies.

Frozen peas, unfrozen, can be a meal.

Kittens grow up to be cats.  That’s when things get a little scary.

Don’t be that girl, in any and all situations.  Unless that girl is the awesome girl passing the boards… then you should totally be that girl.  I’m talking to you Andrea.

If a girls says she “just doesn’t really get along with other girls” that means that she’s probably not that nice to other girls… I’m just sayin’.

Ladies should be kinder to one another.  Teamwork, ladies!

31

Never be early for a party… unless you plan on helping.  By helping I mean, pouring tequila shots.

Being fourteen sucks and there’s absolutely no way around it.

Being thirty one does not suck unless you think it sucks for some reason.

Sometimes you go to restaurants and you just don’t get what you want.  It’s cool, just get ice cream on the way home.

Over-tip.

Just admit that you’re watching My Big American Gypsy Wedding because you’re completely obsessed and you really need to talk about it with someone.

God is good even when you doubt that God is good.

Happy Birthday to me.  Happy Living to you.  I love you dearly, I really do.

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640 Responses

  1. I’m so glad you posted your birthday articles. They are all super! You are one-of-a-kind, in the BEST way!

    Reply
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  9. Just reading this after reading your current birthday post (love that put links to other words by the way). I have always been inspired by your words. I am a longtime podcast listener and recent blog reader (I know, the order is weird) and I just want to say as a young 20 something figuring it out, your wisdom and grace continue to guide me everyday. Anyways, the point of this is not to tell you how fabulous you are (though you are) but to ask about the second to last line “God is good even when you doubt that God is god.” Is that a typo? Either way I kind of think it works brilliantly but just wanted to know your take :)

    Reply
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  17. Hi,
    I’m a little late on this one but I stumbled across your blog just today and was immediately absorbed in it. Particularly, this post. I recently turned 32 so am at a similar place in my life. Love, love, loved this and found it to be one of the most relatable statements on women our age that I’ve seen. XOXO

    Reply

  18. I wanna be you when i grow up. I’ve got a few years before i hit 30 but everything you said sounds perfect for me.

    ” God is good even when you doubt that God is god.” Is my new favorite saying, and is exactly what i needed to here right now.

    Thanks:)

    Reply

  19. So. 13 days ago, I decided to say peace out to my blog. Pow. Bam. Boom. Over a year had passed since I last posted and who was I kidding? The baking fever had long since subsided. For that year, I took a break from reading food-related blogs (yours included) while my right brain sort of wandered around in limbo, waiting for that operatic kick to bring my creativity back to life.

    Something in the air…the water…the shitty (but free!) work coffee urged me to visit your blog today. I finished up the work on my desk, cozied up to the monitor with my mug of terrible coffee and did some catching up.

    Suddenly, I’m feeling motivated. DAMN motivated.

    Thanks.

    Reply

  20. Joy, you wrote:

    “Ladies should be kinder to one another. Teamwork, ladies!” -You should follow your own advice

    I find it CATTY that you wrote: “Check out your hair from behind… yea… you’ve got a whole situation going on back there” – Who cares! Maybe they want their hair that way!

    “If you feel a deep need to take your shoes off in the club, walk your butt outside, get in a cab, and go home. Game over” – Who cares! Maybe they’re having fun! You should too!

    “If a girls says she “just doesn’t really get along with other girls” that means that she’s probably not that nice to other girls… I’m just sayin’.” – I believe being nice to girls also means don’t talk shit….i’m just sayin’ too!

    Reply

  21. “Don’t wait for some dumb boy to give you closure. You give yourself closure. That’s real. Tie that mess right on up. Buy ice cream if necessary.”

    Thank you – I needed to read this. <3

    Reply
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  23. hey
    I’m from Germany and I love your Blog. It’s such an amazing list for your 30th birthday. It made me think about my life and what I’ve learned already and what I will learn. Im 16 btw so there are so much things coming and hope when I’m 30 I can tell and teach my friends (maybe my children ;) ?) what is important in life, such as you did today :).
    I wish you a Happy belated Birthday, even I’m a little late, because I’ve recently discovered your blog. It is amazing if I haven’t yet mentioned ;). I love cooking and especially baking and you have got such great recipes. Tried some and they are really tasty. OMG, I’m in heaven ;)
    Greetings from Germany, Laura :):)

    Reply

  25. “Check out your hair from behind… yea… you’ve got a whole situation going on back there.” Omg! that make my day lol
    Happy birthday!!!

    Reply

  26. oh my gosh! just read this list and laughed my socks off. you really got a lot of things right…and I’m sure I’ll agree even more when I hit thirty. :)

    Reply
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  31. First of all,
    a BIG, HEATY hug and a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY all the way from NYC to you..
    This was just so wonderful bc I know this was from the deepest part of your heart..
    When you are real the way you are, people like us can connect with you..there is freedom in truth!
    I hope your 30s are just so fabulous Joy.. I hope you realize even more how amazing and truly AWESOME God is and that he really does have the BEST plans for you.
    I thank God for you!
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Reply

  35. I love how witty and cute your posts are! This list completely made my Monday (I was a bit behind on my Google Reader). Happy birthday, and thank you for making my day that much better.

    Reply
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  44. i love this post! thanks for all the years of life lessons!
    my favourite one this year: give yourself closure.

    i dated a guy two years ago and im still not completely over him! dumb right? but im slowly starting to push him out of my mind. he’s wasted enough of my time already.

    joy, you’re rocking being 30

    Reply

  46. As usual Joy, your post left me smiling & wishing we were real life besties.

    Good luck on this new year, and live it to the fullest, dear :)

    Reply

  48. Happy Birthday Joy!!
    You are all too right about kittens turning into cats. They’re just cute enough to make it worth it :)

    Reply

  50. Joy, I really love this post. As a soon-to-be 21-year old, I have already encountered and learned bits of your list. The remainder of it almost feels like knowledge the future-me wishes I knew as a soon-to-be 21-year old. Instead I will take it as advice from an older sister. ;)
    Happy belated birthday!!

    Reply
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  56. Hi Joy, love your blog, for a couple of months now. I’m sending this to my soon to be 21 yr old granddaughter-some life lessons to make her journey easier, more fun, and hopefully she’ll learn to cook!

    Reply

  57. Joy. You are an inspiration. You make me laugh, you make me think, you make me smile. You are in a word, awesome. If you are ever in San Diego, you have an open invitation to hang out. PS – My husband can cook, well, so you can take a break and just enjoy.

    Reply

  60. Oh, my favorite of all:

    “If a girls says she “just doesn’t really get along with other girls” that means that she’s probably not that nice to other girls… I’m just sayin’.”

    Reply

  63. Happy Birthday! We are not far apart on birthdays either. I just turned 31 and thought I think 30 was scarier. Its good to see someone who has their stuff straight even in the scary parts of life. Love your book and blog. I’m with you on this post for sure.

    Reply

  65. You wrote so nice…it’s always a pleasure to read your posts, but this one just feels special….happyyy birthday!!

    Reply

  69. Love your list! I soooo agree with the one about women working together. We need to stop hating on each other, ladies. Happy birthday!

    Reply

  73. Love your list!! I think the biggest lesson I learned about the time I hit thirty was one my Mama had been trying to teach me all along: once you see, hear, read, or say something, it can’t be unseen, unheard, unread, or unsaid. These impressions will be with you for the rest of your life, so be selective about what you take in.

    Reply

  74. Dang! I wish I was as wise as you when I was your age. You hit the nail on the head, hit it out of the park, hit a grand slam home run with that one! Sorry, watching Giants baseball on t.v. Keep on loving life one day at at time.

    Reply

  78. Beautiful post! Happy belated birthday! Here’s hoping this year brings you as many smiles and as much sweetness as you bring so many! Thanks for sharing your lessons and general awesomeness!

    Reply

  79. Happy birthday, Joy! I read you everyday, and just wanted to wish you the best on your birthday :-)

    Reply

  80. Happy belated birthday Joy! Thanks for bringing so much joy to our lives with your posts and your food and your book :)

    Reply

  85. Happy birthday Joy :) I hope I’ll be as wonderful as you when I’m thirty-one… good living to you, too :)

    Reply

  87. Happy Birthday Joy!

    I just turned 30 two weeks ago. May birthdays are the best! I love your blog, it’s definitely in my top 5 to read; and this post just made me even more addicted. All of it is true, every bit.

    Thank you for creating such a wonderful blog to read!

    Reply

  88. Happy Birthday Joy! Love your blog and love this post. You are hilarious, and reading your posts always make my day a little brighter. Thank you, and keep doing what you’re doing because you’re awesome.

    Reply

  91. What an awesome list. Why didn’t I have it when I was 16?

    Happy Birthday to you!

    Thank you very much there are still a few things I need to learn and I am older than you…..

    Reply

  92. Well,after a full year of reading your blog obsessively, I finally feel compelled to comment.
    I love your blog-you are lovely in so many ways.
    So, Happy Birthday to you and thank you for the list of things I feel I ought to know already at this point in my life,but for one reason or another I often forget.

    Reply

  94. great post! those tips made me laugh (because they are oh-so-true!). hope you had a wonderful birthday. love your blog even though i suck at baking.

    Reply

  95. Hi Joy,
    Happy Birthday. Love your posts. They are really uplifting.
    Wait till you hit 40! It’s even better.

    Reply

  96. oh my gosh. i smiled at each one of these. soooo true. thanks for sharing and giving me an eye opener on this early tuesday morning. i dont know which one is my fav……but you nailed ALL of them. so many times we are guilty of commiting these ‘crimes’…..and you can never take back words, actions, etc. happy life to you! xo

    Reply

  97. Happy Birthday, Joy! Very good life lessons – youngsters take heed. I love the My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding series!

    Reply
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  103. you’re my favorite. these are awesome.
    “If a girls says she “just doesn’t really get along with other girls” that means that she’s probably not that nice to other girls… I’m just sayin’.” HA so true.. girls piss me off when they say that.. every girl that says it is, in fact, a girl… so they shouldn’t be hatin’

    Reply

  105. Happy birthday Joy :) I’m only about seven weeks off my own, and hopefully in those seven weeks I come close to learning some important lessons to share, cos sometimes it just feels like I’m banging my head against a wall!

    Reply

  107. “Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again.”
    – Menachem Mendel Schneerson

    Reply

  108. Happy birthday, Joy!! I am so glad you are in the world and that you choose to share your life with all of us. Hope you enjoyed your special weekend.

    Reply

  110. Happy Birthday JOY! I adore your blog and podcasts and I make things all the time from your new book! Have a great birthday weekend :).

    Reply

  113. Happy Birthday Joy! I adore your blog soooo much! I really enjoy reading what you write and trying out the different recipes you post. You are hilarious and fun and your kitten is awesome! Stay you!!! & Be Happy!!!

    Reply

  117. Happy Birthday! I just turned 30 recently and I’ve found that it’s calmer and more content… at least in my internal world, the outside stressful stuff still exists. Maybe I’m actually a tiny bit wiser! I love your list though, it reminds me of all the learning I have left to do. :)

    Reply

  118. Happy birthday! And you got it so right with this list! One should always overdress and ice-cream really is the solution almost every time.

    But I would add; never ever ever ever take off your shoes in a club, not even when you take your shirt off, and particularly not when it’s a foam party. Never. Instead: always have flats with you if wearing heels for a night out.

    I’m turning 24 this year, still time to learn how to be patient.

    Reply

  120. Hell YEAAAAHHHH!
    That is so right! You are so right in all your points.
    I’m 31 now and the thing with overdressing is one I have learned too and the shit with the hot looking dude and his hoter girlfriend toooo.

    LOVE your blog!
    Go for gold!

    Nina

    Reply
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  126. Happy Birthday, dear Joy! I love your blog, your funny and fresh voice, and your sheer awesomeness. Oh, and your recipes are pretty stellar also. Fabulous list – thanks for sharing what you’ve learned. :)

    I graduated high school yesterday (I was homeschooled), and I picked “Everybody” by Ingrid Michaelson for my slideshow song after falling in love with it from your cookbook video. Thank you for spreading joy, butter, and love with your cooking. <3

    Reply

  127. Happy happy Birthday joy!!!!
    I really really really love your site.

    *Always think positive all the time…
    :D

    Reply

  128. happy happy birthday! truly great list. i enjoyed the skinny dipping one, cause you’re so right…i have failed to act accordingly a few noteworthy times. sigh.

    Reply

  129. I read your blog everyday and never comment because I figure you have enough reading on your To-Do list these days (plus, I seem to always figure out just what witty thing to say post-Submit button). But I had to make an exception for this amazing list of Things Learned in 30 years. It’s funny, sweet and culturally relevant with just the right drizzle of profundity. Well done! Clearly you’ve learned how to write very well in your 30 years. Happy, happy birthday! xo

    Reply

  130. I’ve liked you since I found this blog, but now that you’ve gone Seuss I think this may be love after all! Happy Birthday and happy living to you!

    Reply

  133. Love this list.

    Frozen peas can also be a meal frozen. My mum in the good old days used to give us a cup full of frozen peas to keep us from snacking before dinner – amaaze – . While talking frozen – frozen bananas just as they are as a snack are also amaze.

    P.S Happy Birthday!

    Reply

  134. Happy birthday Joy! You are such an inspiration, oh and you saved my ass with your cookbook and blueberry muffin recipe. My website (blog) is currently under construction and should be up and running soon, so please don’t go there yet. Keep your life lessons and inspiration coming!

    Reply

  135. happy birthday…love the wisdom.
    made brown butter blueberry muffins this morning…they were devine!

    Reply

  138. I love your blog, but this is honestly my favorite of all your posts. Thanks for sharing the wisdom and all of your other talents. And happy, happy birthday!

    Reply

  142. “God is good even when you doubt that God is god.”

    That’s gold right there! Thanks for sharing. God is good indeed, just because He is God. :)

    Reply

  144. Happy belated birthday, Joy! What a wonderful list. I hope you have the most fabulous day–you deserve it!

    Reply

  145. Hi Joy,

    I turned 32 May 26th… just read this post. Boy did I need to hear all that! Thanks so much. I hope your birthday was lovely, and that 31 is your most awesome year yet.

    All the best,

    Jennifer

    Reply

  148. Happy Birthday! I’m going to have to compile at list of these for my 39th birthday this year–just to have done it, thanks! Just happened upon your site this weekend. So very happy that I’ve done so!

    Reply

  152. Happy Birthday, Joy! I enjoyed your list so much! I always do, as a matter if fact. But who knows why I never write them … Maybe when I’m thirty … ;)

    Also, I have to tell you, I bought your cookbook (via Book Depository) and I love it! It is one of the cutest cookbooks I’ve ever seen and possibly the funniest. I only baked brown butter cookies and some granola so far, but they were delicious! Thank you! My boyfriend is thankful too:)

    Reply

  153. Happy Birthday!

    I will turn 41 later on this year. I’m not sure I could come up with a better list. You have learned well, dear Joy xx

    Reply
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  155. happy birthday joy!!! You are such a nice and wonderful person (I would know! I went to a glorious book signing.) who (thus far, in my experience) has an amazing and flawless cookbook that is now my go-to birthday gift until all of my friends have it. <3

    Reply
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  158. You know, I live with a crew of MIT undergrad ladies, and I feel like all of these things apply…love it.

    The happiest of birthdays, and congrats on making it to your thirtieth with your sense of humor and happiness intact! :)

    Reply

  160. Joy you are such an inspiration and a class act! Hoping you get all the world and more! Happy Birthday!!!

    Reply

  164. Some of my best times have involved taking my shoes of in a club…but thats maybe because I ignored the don’t wear things that cause pain rule….nearly 40 and still learning that one

    Reply

  166. Love this list; so much of it rings true–things I’ve learned and still need to learn.

    Hope you had a happy birthday from a fellow May birthday girl! :-)

    Reply

  169. This post was really touching. I started crying a little with absolutely no idea why. I hope when I get older I will be just like you and just as smart as you. :) <3

    Reply
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  174. Happy Birthday Joy! I just turned 31 this week too. Yes and YES to all the above! It was a crazy thought to think I went on that “21 Run” an entire decade ago, but so gratifying to reflect on the person I have slowly grown into since then. You and Tracy on the podcast make my heart sing! I hope you have the happiest of birthdays!

    Reply

  175. Ha. Was spooning thawed frozen peas out of its package for breakfast while reading this. I came later to this idea, though, at 32.

    Reply

  176. Happy birthday Joy. I hope it’s awesome, because you, of all people, deserve it. You bring us all so much joy (lol) and so many yummy cookies, and we all love you for it and for just being you :)

    Reply

  178. I loved this post, and you aren’t alone, I’m addicted to both the British version and American version of my MBFGW. Even my boyfriend will watch it will me because the craziness sucks him in.

    Reply

  180. My baby girl turns 30 this year, thanks for refreshing my memory on some of these things, they still hold true even at my age (the secrets one….) I only have one to add to this list, save your money, you’re going to need it. Life just feels calmer when you have a little stash to fall back on, but always tell yourself that you haven’t really fallen far enough to touch it.

    Reply
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  185. I just found this website yesterday and subscribed because it was so awesome. Happy Birthday and thanks for sharing what you have learned in the last 30 years. I have a few years on you and personally can’t actually remember some of what happened to me in the last (dooditty doo) few years so I am going to assume that your past 30 years is pretty much like mine. Reading through your list has just made me think I am somewhat cooler than I initially thought that I was! Off to buy a kitten and bake some cookies…Have a great day and eat LOTS of cake…we all want pictures…

    Reply

  186. Hi Joy,

    This is such a wonderful list. Especiallyt he “being fourteen sucks” part. I’m fifteen right now and I’m probably going say to myself, “Oh silly past me, that was the prime of my life” when I turn 31.
    Plus it’s not so easy to find something that you’re truly better than others at. We can’t all be amazing like you, Joy ;)

    Reply

  187. God bless you sweetie! I hope your Birthday is filled with the people (and food, and stuff) that make you happy, and that at the end of the day you feel profoundly loved and sufficiently celebrated.

    Reply

  190. Happy birthday! I’m almost 30. I’ve learned:
    It’s silly to get mad a a 2 year old
    If it’s 3 am and you haven’t gone to bed yet and you have to be up at 5:30, just stay up
    Coffee is a pleasurable survival tool
    Express your appreciation

    Reply

  191. Happy birthday Joy! I’ve fallen in love with your blog and food :)

    Love the lessons learned, espesh the last one. I turn 30 in a week and I’m going between being excited and being utterly freaked out!

    Reply

  192. Happy Birthday! You are very wise for 30. I laughed when I read about never taking your shoes off in a club. Just did that last week and will NEVER do that again. My husband took a picture of my feet in the morning on top of my white bedding. Yeah…never ever again.

    Reply

  193. First off Happy Birthday!!!!
    And I agree with you on so many points…especially to overdress (or as I say to cover-up) at all times.
    The days of exposed belly buttons ore over, I came into terms with such harsh reality, but that’s how it is.

    Reply

  194. This is definitely going into one of my top ten blog posts. Ever. It’s funny and truthful and it stings just a little, but in a way that you kind of need. And I hope you had a very happy birthday and that you’ll have another wonderful year.

    Reply

  196. Happy belated birthday!!! Hope this year is filled with awesomeness, adventures and new discoveries! Aaaaand also a little burbon ;).

    Reply

  197. Would it freak you out to know this almost 65 year old grandmother of 8 loves your blog and podcasts? Happy birthday to an amazingly talented woman. (Tracy’s MIL)

    Reply

  198. Happy Birthday, lady!! I hope that you are still birthdaying. Looking forward to seeing you here in a few weeks! (p.s. it’ll be super hot, but the indoor places will be blazer-friendly due to excessive A/C)

    Reply

  199. Many happy returns of the day from one Joy to another! Thank you for all of the great recipes… Hope that you had a fabulous birthday cake! Cheers, Joy

    Reply

  200. Loved it! Enjoy your b-day! Hope I can be as awesome, and bake and cook as well, as you in 15 years when I’m 30. Thanks for the great post! It made me smile.

    Reply

  201. MY GOODNESS! I’m watching My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding while reading this….I NEED HELP..

    Have a wonderful Birthday Joy!

    Thank you for making this world a brighter place!
    xo
    Laura

    Reply

  202. I like how you think the same things i think sometimes. Especially the comment about the back of the head hair. Sometimes I think its best to ignore that part of my head. What is going on there? What is that wave? (The eyes should matter most anyways, right? )
    You are the coolest. Happy Birthday.

    Reply

  204. I love your blog; I love this list. I love that your blog is life-affirming, gentle, and wise. Thank you.

    Reply

  205. Happy Birthday!
    thank you so much for your blog you have taught me so much and my friends, boyfriend and coworkers all love every recipe I have ever made for them that I have gotten from you.

    You are adorable, amazing and wonderful and I get excited every time I click on the joy the baker link on my toolbar and there is a new recipe.

    Thank you and happy birthday again

    Reply

  206. Nice!! Really liked it !! I’m turning 30 next year, a little hard to believe…but lists like yours show how much we learn troughout the years, that’s priceless…and everybody is getting old anyways. We’re all together in this same old ride.
    Happy Birthday Joy. Thank you for sharing :)

    Reply

  207. So you’ve probably already heard this a million times, but Happy Freaking Birthday Joy! You deserve a great one because:

    A. Your buttermilk biscuits are a-mazing.
    B. Your style is impeccable.
    C. Your writing is inspiring and hilarious to read.

    Thank you for writing your thoughts on being thirty. Is it weird to say that I look forward to this every year?

    Reply

  208. “God is good, even when you doubt that God is good.”

    That’s a good one. A hard one. My 29 year old husband/love-of-my-life was diagnosed with cancer 3 months in to our brilliantly happy, long awaited, hardly-won marriage. We’re now at month 5. It has been a hard one for a while… it’s good to be told it by somebody else. Thanks.

    Reply

  209. Happy Birthday, dear Joy, from mom and dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I I’m pretending these are candles – even if they are upside-down. Till we see you soon. Enjoy.

    Reply

  210. happy happy birthday, joy! your blog is lovely and your life posts never cease to make me smile. love what you’re doing, keep being awesome!

    Reply

  211. Happy birthday, Joy!

    Good tips. I’m 25 and learning. I hope I can be as awesome as you in 5 years.

    The one about girls being nice to each other is good. You got me thinking…when girls say, “I don’t get along with other girls,” maybe they really just can’t be friends with someone when that someone isn’t sexually interested. And that’s…probably a problem. But I’ve probably been guilty of falling back on sexual attention/tension-style friendship. It ain’t necessarily bad, but you gotta have girlfriends too!

    Reply

  215. I turn 30 in three weeks, and this is the best thing I’ve ever read. I want to frame it. I was laughing out loud. I’ve read through it four times. Also, I never comment on blogs. I don’t even have anything worth saying, except that I loved it. It was just THAT good, that I had to comment just to feel like I was in on the party. Oh, and I feel the need to confess that I never cook ever, ever, ever. I’m just here for the wittiness.

    Reply

  218. Happy birthday! I’m not a goal setter, but damn you’re inspiring! I look at the good, great and awkward parts of your life you share with the world and what it’s helped you to achieve and it makes me want to at least decide on one thing to achieve before I turn 31. Maybe my goal should be to bake everything out of your wonderful book….

    Thank you and please keep sharing. xo

    Reply

  220. I’m sure you can tell from your 300+ comments so far that this is one of your best posts to date! My personal fav: Frozen peas, unfrozen, can be a meal.

    Heck yes. Add a little butter, a pinch of salt, and you’re set!

    Reply

  222. Great list! I loved everything on here. And I totally agree with the “watch Inception as many times as you need to.” I think I read every article on the internet about the ending after I saw it the first time…

    Reply

  224. Whew. I turn 30 in two weeks. And I really need to figure out how to wear lipstick. I don’t think I’ll ever get that down pat. And you are totally right. Fourteen is the worst :) Happy birthday!

    Reply

  225. Happy Birthday Joy! You’ve said that we inspire you many times before- but I want you to know that YOU are truly inspirational and someone I very much admire! <3

    Reply

  226. Honestly, thank you for everything you do. You are so amazing and happy. Plus anyone who can go from having kale one meal and a batch of cookies the next earns major respect in my book. As someone at age 18 and still learning, I love you

    Reply

  228. Happy happy Birthday, Joy!! Loved reading what you’ve learned in these thirty years. You’re a wise lady and a super rad baker. Much love to you!

    Reply

  229. Yes and yes and yes. You have summed it up!

    A very happy birthday to you, Joy — here’s to many more! (P.S.: It gets even better and better, just you wait!)

    Reply

  230. My daughter (23) proudly admits to watching My Big American Gypsy Wedding! I guess she has that lesson learned;-)
    What a wonderful present you gave to us today. Being YOU and giving us a peek at your lessons you’ve learned. Even at 47 there are more than a few that are reminders to me, a number of them I plan to pass on and all I agree with!

    Happy Birthday to you dear Joy and thank you to your Mom and Dad for having you! xo

    Reply

  231. Wishing you a simply fab birthday and infinite moments of joy in the future. Thank you for being you and sharing you with all of us. Love, Diana

    Reply

  233. Happy Birthday Joy!
    30 is the new 20, I hear. :)
    I love your advice/words of wisdom. If you weren’t an amazing baker, you could be a motivational speaker.

    Reply

  236. Happy birthday Joy!! It seems as if these 30 years have not gone to waste which is great to hear. I think you have become an amazing blogger throughout your career in this web world. I also will ensure that I take some of those advices to the core! Much love!

    Reply
  240. Pingback: twenty one twenty twelve | wundiscoveries | wundiverse

  241. Love your list Joy! It was funny, yet sincere. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. :) I especially loved the ones about closure, being 14 and that life isn’t fair. Pure truth right there.

    Reply

  243. Talk away about the Gypsy Wedding shows, honey – those suck me in every time. Happy, happy birthday! The good years are still coming. = )

    Reply

  244. Happy birthday to fellow ” First name Joy”. I turned 30 a few months ago and BOY has it delivered! 30 has been the best year yet and I hope that 30 is totally awesome for you as well! Thanks for your list… It is so spot on and it has spawned a “lessons learned” email chain between me and my girlfriends today!

    Reply

  245. Happy Birthday Joy! You are such a Joy to follow with your blog and I get a big smile everytime there is a new post! Being 30 is awesome, you will love it!

    Reply

  247. Happy Birthday, Joy! This…
    “If a girls says she “just doesn’t really get along with other girls” that means that she’s probably not that nice to other girls… I’m just sayin’.”
    is too true, and this…
    “In every situation, consider the likelihood of skinny-dipping. Act accordingly.” is hilarious and perfect. Thank you for your awesome recipes, funny anecdotes and sage advice. Hope you had an amazing birthday!

    Reply

  248. Happy, happy birthday Joy! I’ll be celebrating my 29th in a few short weeks, so it’s great to hear advice from someone a little ahead of me. Thanks for your always inspiring, always real, and usually hilarious posts. I follow many food blogs (Damn that RSS reader) and yours is one of my favorites to hope for frequent new posts. And your food is super yummy. And you post about making shoes awesome with glitter. Food + glitter + humor = Awesome. Keep being awesome!

    Here’s some advice for you: ENJOY your birthday. And all of the 364 days in between, if possible. ;] (And calories TOTALLY don’t count on your birthday . . . )

    Reply

  249. Happy Birthday, Joy! It really is so awesome that you share your life (cooking and all that jazz) with strangers like us. Even though I feel like I could reach into my screen and give you a hug. Lol, so not to be awkward or anything but thank you. Simply, thank you.

    Reply

  250. Happy Birthday Joy! Love the list and your blog! I turned 50 and you know what? It’s all good. Life is sweet, and true, not always fair but each day we get another chance. Embrace it all! And yea, ice cream makes a lot of stuff better….. :-) Keep on blogging. You have a LOT of fans in your corner!!!!!

    Reply

  251. Happy Birthday Joy! Reading your blog always puts a smile on my face and makes me want to conquer the world. Even if it’s just a little part of my world :)

    Reply

  252. Happy Birthday Joy!!!!
    May You Have An INCREDIBLE One & Many Many More!!! And May ALL Your Wishes Come True Today & ALWAYS!!!
    Welcome To The 30’s, Personally Speaking It’s The BEST!!! Don’t get me wrong, you’ll still do plenty of learning but even more LIVING & Knowing to ENJOY the ride.
    May God Continue to Bless You Always…. ?

    Reply

    1. btw… it wasn’t suppose to be a question mark…. it was suppose to be a heart after “May God Bless You Always!”

      Reply

  253. joy, i honestly live for these lists. the one you made a while ago for the daughter of a reader? where you listed the things you learned about life? i still live by that. you’re incredibly gifted, without coming across as conceited or preachy. that’s a good thing :) and this list i think can apply to anyone, thirty or not!

    Reply

  254. Happy Birthday Joy! What a great list of very thoughtful things. I agree with soo many of them (especially frozen peas for dinner. Delish).

    Reply

  255. “Sometimes you go to restaurants and you just don’t get what you want. It’s cool, just get ice cream on the way home.”

    This is totally how my brain works too!

    Reply

  256. JOY.

    #real talk, real quick–I promise.

    I have to tell you that this is by far the most entertaining + well-written birthday post I have ever read. Ever.

    As in all your other words of wisdom, I was laughing out loud or smiling through every tidbit. Truly, this brightened my day a little. Actually a lot.

    Thanks for being awesome. :)

    Reply

  257. Happy Birthday Joy! May today bring you everything that you wish for and thank you for sharing so much of what you have already learned! You are an inspriation to us all and don’t forget it!

    Reply

  259. Happy Birthday Joy! You’re still a baby… and a babe! Bake something with Biscoff and we’ll all celebrate with you!

    Reply

  261. HEY! Happy Birthday to YOU!

    And Happy Birthday to ME tomorrow! (26)

    Aren’t we awesome!!?!?!?!?

    Reply

  262. I love this list! I want to paste it on my wall. I’m really learning/thinking about making your apologies good and sincere lately, I was glad to see that on the list. I also love this one: God is good even when you doubt that God is god. So true.

    Love the new blog design! (I might be totally behind the times, but I usually just view in my google reader. :) )

    Reply

  264. I love your posts like this. I went back and reread one that you did like this about someone turning 21 maybe? I forgot what the occasion was. I love the “nobody keeps secrets”. So effin true!! Oh and the “if you don’t get what you want at a restaurant just get ice cream on the way home”. Hellz yes, we’ve all been there. You are hilarious, plz continue to write these types of posts. I need your advice!

    Reply

  268. You are officially the third awesome person I know whose birthday is today – so I will say the same thing to you that I said to them: “Happy birthday! Hope it’s a fabulous day and a year full of blessings!” =)

    Reply

  269. Hurra for deg som fyller ditt år, ja deg vil vi gratulere! (from a Norwegian birthday song :)
    I hope you have had a fantastic birthday(with lots of cake)!
    Best wishes

    Reply

  270. Happy Birthday Joy! You are such an impressive and together lady at thirty! Have a wonderful birthday!

    And, “TEAMWORK, ladies” is right. I learned this right around your age, and it has served me very well for the last ten+ (ahem) years. :)

    Reply

  273. Happy Birthday, Joy! Just love this list. My day started out by “accidentally” checking my wedding registry to see that someone purchased your book as a gift. Soooooo excited (for many reasons :)). Again, a happy 31st year to you.

    Reply

  275. Great list…really great.
    Happy, wonderful, crazy, super happy, happy birthday Joy!
    You have it all goin’ on girl Don’t ever change. You are wise and wonderful at 30 so go enjoy all the years you have ahead of you!

    Reply

  278. Such a happy time! A big congratulations to you on your 30th birthday!! We love you Joy, and hope you have the most wonderful day. Thank you for sharing your hilarious but very meaningful wisdom with us. We are so grateful for the JOY ;) that you bring into our lives with this awesome blog.

    Reply

  281. Happy Happy Happy Birthday! I am turning 30 in December. I may have to resurrect your list of 30 things and try to duplicate your efforts prior to my big day.

    I made Candied Pecan Biscotti earlier this week. You are so smart to make more candied pecans than the biscotti recipe calls for. Brilliant, I tell you!

    Reply

  282. Happy Birthday Miss Joy!

    Thank you for sharing this awesome post.

    Thank you for the drool worthy and delicious recipes (I’ve made the vegan chocolate chocolate chip cookies twice so far).

    Reply

  287. WHY ARE YOU SO AWESOME?! I always look forward to your posts, and I just love how much joy I see in your life. Your name is so fitting! Happy birthday!

    Reply

  288. I am definetly sharing this with my girlfriend who is turning thirty today and having an unbelievably hard time with it for some reason. I told her she has only really been an adult for a little more than 10 years and shes only just begun to live!

    Reply

  289. Happy Happy B-day Joy! Have a great day and a great weekend! You get three days to celebrate!
    Always love reading your blog! Great stuff!

    Reply

  293. Happy birthday, joy! I hope you know that I love reading your blog and love how honest you are! thanks for all the hardwork you do and have a fab birthday!

    Reply

  297. “And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”
    -Abraham Lincoln

    happy birthday, Joy!

    Reply

  300. Happy Happy Birthday Joy!!! I love what you’ve learned, as I have learned too. Feels good to get to the 30’s eh?
    Cheers!
    PS I think I was in NOLA when you were, you should totally do a post on the Pimm’s cup!!!! my newest summer drink!
    xo
    JKS

    Reply

  301. Happy Birthday, Joy! I had a birthday this week, too!

    I love all of your words of wisdom, particularly the ones about dumb boys and closure (a lesson I learned myself not too long ago), and about dancing barefoot in the club…my sister needs to read that one..

    Reply

  302. Wish I had had someone to let me know all this as I passed into my thirties a long long time ago. All I knew was that, after thirty, one could not/should not wear mini-skirts. That interesting piece of news I read in the Phoenix Sun. How times have changed. It seems as if anything goes at any age; sometimes sadly.

    Happy! Happy Birthday and thank you so much for your blog and your cookbook. I love it; it is entirely ageless.

    Reply

  307. Can I just say how much I love all of your cool advice posts? All of your points are so great and so true. This whole post is going straight to my bookmarks! :D

    Reply

  309. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY!!! I don’t “know” you but I “know” you and your blog is so inspiring, it makes me want to be a better person and baker myself. Thank you for sharing so much. Have an amazing 31!!

    Reply

  313. Happy Birthday!! I had to laugh at the Big Fat Gypsy Wedding — I do watch it, even though I wish I didn’t, and I DO want to talk to someone about it. I’m so intrigued.

    And, are those turquoise Danskos?

    Hope you have a great birthday. Enjoying your recipes & blog,
    Kelly

    Reply

  314. Happy birthday, Joy! I can’t count the number of life lessons I’ve learned from reading your blog and listening to your podcast. Much love to you.

    Reply

  322. Happy Birthday!!! I wish You the Best in your day and every single day that you put a smile in our faces! At on my face when I read your blog you let me with good thougts and feeling happy! And when things are bad you made my day! Felicidades desde Mexico! :D

    Reply

  323. Joy, I love this one in particular:

    God is good even when you doubt that God is god.

    You’re just a year ahead of me in age (well, 9 months if we want to be technical about it) but I feel I’ll be a lucky girl if I wind up with half as much wisdom as you’ve picked up.

    Happy birthday!

    Reply

  324. Happy Birthday Joy!!
    I love your list. I love your writing, I ove your positivity about life and I may just love you a lot for all those reasons.
    My favourite on the list is the one about life not being fair. This is the truth! We learn it through the worst things. I lost my brother almost 4 years ago and as hard as it was to go through that, my outlook on life has never been more positive. We’re only here for a short time, we have to live it to the fullest, love people more than your heart can handle and always go for an extra scoop of ice cream. =)

    Have the best birthday ever!

    Reply

  325. Happy Birthday Joy! Thank you for sharing your life with us. All the best for an amazing year to come!

    Reply

  328. Once again – THANK YOU for being your amazing self and putting into clever words things we can relate to and need to hear :) Have an amazing birthday!!
    PS — thirties are totally better than twenties!!!

    Reply

  329. You make me so happy to be 30. I have definitely made tons of mistakes and had to apologize so many times – even when I didn’t need too. The beauty is that I am still learning and growing.

    Reply

  330. Happy birthday! My birthday was yesterday;) I have just a couple more years on you. It only gets better! And May is an awesome month!

    Reply

  331. Wise words. Happy birthday to you! Also, I’m totally obsessed with My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding (and the British version too). I’ve made the boyfriend watch it with me just so i have someone to discuss it with.

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  333. “Sometimes it’s not fate, or a sign… but just a coincidence.” So true, love this!!!

    Happy Birthday, Joy!!! You are so inspiring, and wonderful, not to mention a fantastic cook! I hope you have such a fantastic day full of the people you love!

    Reply

  335. Happy Birthday Joy! And ohmygosh! I have been home sick with a cold and watching trashy television all week… I had never seen my big fat american gypsy wedding but there was a marathon on the other day and I am officially hooked! I can’t tear myself away from this craziness, I might need an intervention soon!!!

    Reply

  336. Happy Birthday Joy!!!!! 31 is awesome, I have 37, and I miss my 31…but life is good, it gets better and better. I wish you a bunch of happiness!!!

    Reply

  338. I’ve never actually commented on your blog, but I’ve been following you for a while.. I loved reading this, it’s one of those posts that make you smile and feel all warm inside.. hopefully I’ll remember some of these when the situation arises.. i.e. taking heels off in the club. :) Happy birthday!

    Reply

  339. Happy Birthday Sweet Wonderful Joy!!!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom and love. Wishing you a fabulous day :) Cheers

    Reply

  341. I’ll be 30 tomorrow, so I raise a salute and cheer for all the learning we still have to do and all we have learned!

    I’ll keep that in mind about the shoes in the club if I ever feel the need to haunt one again. ;)

    Reply

  344. Happy Birthday, Joy! Having turned 30 recently, I can totally relate to this list. Especially the part about the dude at the grocery store at 7:19. Argh, why does that always happen?!

    Reply

  345. I LOVE your birthday lists. I especially love “Sometimes you go to restaurants and you just don’t get what you want. It’s cool, just get ice cream on the way home.” Happy birthday, Joy!

    Reply

  346. Welcome to 30s! I’m turning 36 this year. One more thing to add to your list. Purge you life of all your toxic friends. You don’t need to put up with those influences in your life anymore.

    Reply
  352. Pingback: My First Top-Ten Round Up « Kaleidoscope Brain

  354. Happy Birthday to You! (And my Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding is amazing, now I don’t feel like such a weirdo for thinking it’s amazing).

    Reply

  357. Happy Birthday Joy! Love your podcast and blog. I look forward to listening to you and Tracy every week
    It is an absolute must in my life, my very favorite podcast!!

    Reply

  359. Happy Birthday, Joy! Hope you have a marvelous day!
    And thank you for gifting us with your words/thoughts/wisdoms/humor on your own birfday. I wrote a very similar post for my 20th last year… and will very likely do the same this year. It’s always nice to reflect and see what life really has pounded into you.
    Anywho, thanks again… Joy the Baker is fabulous, you are fabulous and I really needed to read this one today! HAPPY B-DAY! :)

    Reply

  362. Happy birthday Joy! Mine was two days ago – and I am one year behind you – so let me add one piece of Gemini wisdom that I finally settled on this birthday: Learn to let stupid stuff go. Forgive. Take a damn deep breath, put your headphones on, take your pretty self outside and while you walk, listen to your favorite happy song as loud as you can stand. When it feels like someone has snubbed you, bake cookies and bring them over to share with the people who you know will love you no matter what. I’m pretty sure this adds years to your life. For reals. :)

    Reply

  366. My mother once told me when a woman turns 30 her whole perspective on life will change – “clarity”. My 30’s were filled with such wonderful learning experiences about myself, life, family, friends and career. Today I’m 41 and I’m enjoying every minute of being me. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” ????????
    God Bless You!

    Reply

  369. This is absolutely lovely. And so right!
    I’m also about to turn 31 and feel much smarter about certain things, and still completely confused about other things.
    Patience and lipstick. These are things I need to work on. Have a most delicious birthday!

    Reply

  371. Happy birthday, Joy! Thank you for being a daily inspiration and motivation in my life. I hope this year is blessed and FUN!
    Love,
    Sarah (Portland, OR)

    Reply

  372. Happiest of birthdays to you, Joy. I’ve been a loyal follower for about a year now, and your honesty has been a blessing. Keep up the good work. :)

    Reply

  373. This post came at a great time. I was having a terrible day at work and read the “Life is not fair…” line, I had to smile. Also, My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is a really great show haha;) Happy Birthday!

    Reply

  376. Happy Birthday!! This is a stellar list. Now I’m considering doing the same thing for my birthday! (Sunday is my 21st! Crazy!)

    Reply

  377. Happy Birthday Joy! I might have happy teared up a little reading this. Beautiful! I love your blog because it’s so real and I get it! I’m almost 30, single, and love cooking and baking too. Reading your blog makes me feel like we’re friends who get each other. Lame, haha. But I like that feeling! Keep it up!!

    Reply

  381. Happy Birthday Joy! You’re aging with such grace and wisdom. I didn’t “know” your younger self, but I feel as though you’ve picked up some key life-lessons in your 30 years. Congrats on that. You make getting older seem not too scary!

    Reply

  383. Happy Birthday!!

    Being 27 myself, it’s nice to have a cool older-sister type who’s willing to share all her secrets. I don’t have a real sister, but I hope you don’t mind if I think of you as one.

    A sister who’s moved far away to internet land… and who makes the best food ever.

    Hope you have a great and wonderful weekend of celebrations!

    Reply

  384. I am newish to you blog, I am in love to say the least! Your list of advice is awesome, I couldn’t have said it better myself. That line about girls saying ” they don’t really get along with other girls” so so true. Happy Birthday, hope you have an amazing year!

    Reply

  385. A very happy birthday! Funny and insightful “lessons”and great pictures, I like the first one especially. For me, birthdays are the moments when I question the direction of my life and I can get pretty awful. I hope that for you the occassion is just happy!

    Reply

  388. Well, happy happy birthday! It’s so great to see that life is good at thirty and all the thing one learns on its way to it. And, to tell you the truth, I’m a bit scared that I’ll be turning thirty next year…

    So awesome to read you everyday.. Thanks and of course
    HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY… os as we say in Spanish!

    Feliz Cumpleaños!

    Mikel

    Reply

  390. Happy Birthday Joy – wishing you all you wish for yourself and then more. I love your writing – always!

    Reply

  391. Happy birthday, Joy! You are a treasure we all really really like you here in the blogosphere. Hope your day is fantabulous! :D

    Reply

  392. This is fabulous. I want to do this for my birthday, but I will be 60 in a few weeks and I don’t know if I can think of 60 witty, smart things to tell what I have learned in my 60 years!

    Reply

  393. I have just found your blog recently and am enjoying getting to know you through it. I love your list…at 50 it gives me something to work on.
    Happy Birthday – Make it a great one!

    Reply

  395. Happy Birthday! We’re almost the same age, I’ll be turning the big 3-0 in July.

    You have some really great points here, I truly wish people would take this list to heart.

    I’ve been mistaken as one of the “those girls” only because I usually have an intense expression on my face when I’m thinking… and I seem to be always thinking. People always seem to be surprised when they find out that I’m totally nice and down-to-earth. C’est la vie.

    (By the way, I think you have a small typo just above the bike/tattooed man. Is that suppose to be “Buy ice cream if necessary”?)

    Reply

  396. If a girls says she “just doesn’t really get along with other girls” that means that she’s probably not that nice to other girls… I’m just sayin’.

    AMEN!

    Reply

  397. Thank you so much… it´s my thirty one birthday next tuesday, and you wrote down every single thought I wasn´t able to define that clearly! Happy birthday Joy!
    Being thirty one (will be) is GREAT!!!

    Reply

  398. 30! Awesome!…..being 46 is even better! Much to still learn, much to still love! Happy, Happy Birthday Girlfriend! Age is just a number, Grace and humility is timeless! Luckily, you have both!

    Reply

  399. In my 22 years of living I can only hope to know half as much as you’ve figured out by the time I’m 31. Congratulations on figuring out how to live life for yourself instead of others. Happy birthday!

    Reply

  400. I love this in so many ways. You’re real-talk makes me want to sit down and have a delish baked good and a cup of coffee with you. We would discuss my amazing hot pink birthday cake and swap our favorite recipes, maybe talk about our Gypsy Wedding addiction. Thanks for brightening my week :) SO excited for all the big things you’re going to rock the world with.
    lots of love! <3

    Reply

  401. Happy Birthday Joy! You’re a wonderful inspiration for my 21 year old self, and actually have me looking forward to my 30s, after living through my 20s. Which is weird, because I feel so old at 21 already.

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  402. You are amazeballs and I wish you a happy birthday.
    Your blog and podcast makes me feel okay-ish awesome!

    Reply

  403. Happy, Happy Birthday Joy!

    I loved your list. You’ve accumulated some serious wisdom in your 30-ish years and I love that it’s not the same wisdom I’ve accumulated. Thank you for sharing!

    As far as My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is concerned: Right. There. With. Ya.

    Reply

  405. I just turned 40, and I think that this blog post is relevant decade to decade. I’m totally sharing this with all of my lady friends.

    Happy Birthday. You rule. Mos’ Def.

    Reply

  407. wow, I loved your life lessons! Very insightful you are. Apparently, Yoda I am. The husband made me watch way too much star wars this week, sorry. I just started my first blog, and I turn 35 next month, perhaps I will take a cue from you and try to post 35 things I’ve learned. I wonder if I can come up with that much wisdom. BTW, I listened to “We were not the cool girls” yesterday, I totally rocked the overalls with one strap up, and smiley face suspenders, and slap bracelets….did you have some of those?
    Did you have the WALL bangs? That was hard to learn, but it was possible with enough comb action and hairspray.
    Lmao.
    Happy Birthday, hope it’s fabulous.

    Reply

  411. Happy Birthday, dearest Joy. I just bought your cookbook last weekend. I love it. You are absolutely wonderful!

    Reply

  412. this is amazing, perfect, hilarious and true…true…true!
    as a newly 30 lady i laughed out loud to everything you listed. happy birthday!

    Reply

  413. Happy birthday! Here’s one I learned: Comment on the blogs of people you admire even when you feel kinda sheepish and dorky like you’re back in high school and you haven’t figured out what products will keep your hair from being frizzy yet. Telling someone you dig their work is good for the soul zone. Joy…I love your writing, photos, attitude, recipes and mad skills…love by the truckload, seriously.

    Reply

  414. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY! Love reading all your advice! That one abt girls who ‘dont get on with other girls’ – Im totally with you there! and with the closure thing to!

    Have a fantastic bday and heres hoping the next 30years are only bigger and better and brighter than before! :)

    Reply

  415. Hi Joy,
    You are super the best and I am totally adding this list to my list of life lessons that I have learned up to my ripe old age of not-actually-that-old-yet. You are so inspiring and fearless, so giving of support and love to everyone, and so cool! I only hope I have half of your attitude when I get to 30!
    Cheers!
    -Dayna

    Reply

  422. Happy Birthday! I love reading your blog…enjoy the next 30 years too, from someone that turned 60 TODAY!!
    Priscilla

    Reply

  423. Happy Birthday! Thank you for continually posting recipes that make me drool all over my keyboard. Well, almost drool anyway.

    (Or sometimes really drool?)

    Reply

  424. “Being thirty one does not suck unless you think it sucks for some reason.”

    I LOVED being thirty one! Thirty was rough (cliche, embarrassing) but thirty one completely rocked.

    Happy birthday.

    Reply

  425. I’m 52…I loved my 30’s not sure about my 40’s, but now in my 50’s I’m more…myself. I can look back at decisions and stupid moments, and forgive myself, it was all part of learning and becoming more…me.

    Reply

  428. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
    I really appreciate this advice right now. Especially the part about life not being fair. It sucks, it really does.

    The part about being 14 makes me laugh. I spend all day with 140 14 year olds and I love them to pieces but I do not miss that age at all!

    Reply

  430. Dear Joy,
    First, Happy Birthday lovely lady Joy! I hope it’s a memorable one.
    Second, you’ve got a lot to be proud of, so I hope you’re being THAT girl that knows it and celebrates it.
    Third, thank you! I have never met you, but you’ve inspired a lot in me since i found your blog a lil over a year ago. You’ve given me a reason to enjoy the Internet again, you’ve introduced me to the fun that is Tracy Shutterbean, you’ve helped me find my love of baking again, you’ve given me pause many a time to think about things and remember a lesson or appreciate someone, something, or myself, and most importantly you inspire me to concentrate on bettering myself for myself rather than worrying about what others think.
    Enjoy your day and I can’t wait to see what you’ll be doing this year!
    Love,
    Vanessa

    Reply

  433. Great words of wisdom on your birthday! Happy, happy. Also, jewelry always fits when nothing else does!

    Reply

  434. Happy Birthday Joy the Baker. Your blog is so inspiring and I wish you all the best in your continued success.You like totes rock as does your cinnamon roll recipe!!

    Reply

  435. Happy birthday Joy!! I’m lucky gal to share a birthday with you. Thanks for sharing your insight with humor and optimism.

    Reply

  437. Happy Birthday!!! Your advice is perfect. I think we all have a similar list of lessons learned…and it always seems to be growing. But that’s where the adventures come in, right?
    I love your blog!! The gorgeous photos and wonderful, I-think-I-know-you-we-must-be-best-friends voice. And of course the amazing recipes that I keep trying and keep loving. Keep it up, lovely lady! You’re a rockstar!

    Reply

  439. First of all Happiest of Birthdays to you! ;) Thank you for this post! I’ve forwarded this to my 25 year old daughter who is full of angst…here’s hoping! I love your sense of humor and common sense attitude. You are a good example of a fine woman.

    Reply

  440. It is lessons like those you’ve listed that made my 30s my best years! (although my 40s are pretty rockin’ too.) Have a super birthday! My daughters and I will bake your single girl molten chocolate cakes in your honor!

    Reply

  442. Happy Birthday, Joy! Just realized you share a birthday with my sister. I was already planning to make your chocolate pb cupcakes for her =)

    Reply
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  447. Thank you for this whole post… I turn 30 next year. I really didn’t think I would care, but I find the anxiety has built over this last year. This helps so much.

    And thank you especially for the shoes-in-the-club advice. Good advice. Been there.

    Reply
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  452. Happy Birthday! Its was my bday yesterday and I did a post on “27 Things I’ve Learned in 27 Years”. Cleansing, I tells ya. Hopefully in a few years I’ll learn as much as you, but for now I’m happy to make some mistakes along the way :)

    Reply

  453. (I totally just sang the last line to the “happy birthday” tune!). Have the happiest of days, thanks for all you do!

    Reply

  455. Happy happy happy birthday, Joy! Your list is amazing. And so true. I love the one about dumb boys and closure. I’m still working on that one. I hope you have an amazing day, filled with great moments that turn into wonderful memories!!

    Reply

  459. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOY!

    Wishing you a wonderful day and at least a couple more 30-year stints. Love your list and it came at the perfect time since I am currently guiding my pre-teen son through some tough social times. Life is short: eat cake!

    xo

    Reply

  460. Happy birthday Joy. I wish a year filled with adventure and excitement, happiness and health, pretty cakes, fabulous shoes, and most importantly, lots of love.

    Reply

  462. perfect, and so true :) I like the game over comment. If only something would pop up in real life and flash a game over in our face, things would be significantly easier! HBD!

    Reply

  463. Happy Birthday! Are you sure you’re only 30ish? Those are some deep words of wisdom that most people haven’t figured out at 40ish! Thanks for putting a smile on my face (with a fabulous shade of lipstick of course) and here’s to many more birthdays! Cheers!

    Reply

  464. OMG- The part about girls who say they don’t really get along with girls, SUCH a life truth! Thanks for sharing Joy and have a very happy birthday.

    Reply

  466. Happy Birthday! Really enjoyed your list, as I have enjoyed the many meals and treats before it. Thank you!

    Reply

  470. Happy, happy birthday, Joy! You’ve been such an inspiration to me in the less-than-two months that I’ve been reading your blog. Keep up the good work, but more importantly, keep being you!

    Reply

  471. Happy Birthday, Joy! Love this post! As a fellow 31-year-old I totally agree with all of it! Cheers to many more years!

    Reply
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  474. Happy birthday, Joy!!

    I love reading your introspective posts. The world (and the internets) is a sweeter place because you are in it. :-)

    PS…I love the gypsies!!

    Reply

  479. Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday!!!

    Three things: (1) This post is basically amazing and has officially made my Friday (sometimes its just the small things). Thank you for sharing…especially about boys…how did you know what has been on my mind? (2) Thank you for being so inspiring. (3) Your new logo, fonts and site setup look great!

    Reply

  480. …”Happy Birthday Miss Joy!” Here’s hoping your day is FILLED with love, happiness, joy, laughter, family, friends and CAKE! *<:o)

    …Your list is sheer perfection! Much like yourself there girl. ;o)

    …We love you. Of course you knew that already but it never hurts to repeat. And repeat often.

    …Birthday x's

    …Blessings too. :o)

    Reply

  484. Happy, Happy, Happy Birthday Joy!!! You definitely have a knack for telling it like it is and putting things in perspective. You are truly a very wise, inspiring and talented woman. I hope you have a Wonderful Day!!! :D

    Reply

  485. Happy birthday, Joy! You are one of my very favorite reads on the internet and I’m so glad you come here an have these little talks with us.

    Reply

  487. Is your birthday today? It’s also my sister’s birthday. No wonder you’re so cool – it’s the day. Have an awesome one.

    All good advice you’ve got there – especially if it hurts don’t wear it. :)

    Reply

  490. Happy Birthday Joy! Keep kicking ass and taking names! Thank you for being so honest and teaching us how to make and bake beautiful meals! I still have 6 years to go before I’m 30 and a lot of learning to do, but I think you have prepped me for some of it. Just reading your words of wisdom is enough!

    Reply

  491. Excellent advice on the Inception front. I’ve only seen it twice, I guess I’ve been slacking….better get on it! PS – last time I watched it, I totally rewound the floating hallway part to watch it again. One of the coolest movie scenes ever!

    Reply

  492. You’re a lovely person to write such wonderful thoughts. Thank you, and Happy Birthday…from someone you don’t know at all… :)

    Reply

  493. Happy birthday Joy!

    I love reading your posts like this. You are so relatable. I feel like you’re telling me to be patient and reminding me that no one keeps secrets (both things I still need to learn!). Thanks for the beautiful post and have a fabulous birthday!

    Reply

  494. One: Happy freaking birthday! Yay!

    Two: I watched My Big Fat American Gipsy Wedding the other day. A girl was brushing her teeth with bleach. Yeah, BLEACH to whiten her teeth so she didn’t have to go to the dentist to have it done. Sweet Jesus, that show is a trainwreck. I’m glad someone else watches it too. :)

    Reply

  496. Happy birthday, Joy! This list is fantastic. I totally agree with the closure thing. And the lipstick. And the cookies.
    P.S. What kind of birthday treat are you having to celebrate?

    Reply

  498. You have learned an awful lot in your 30 years, and though I’m the same age as you, I think you just taught me a bunch of stuff, too, from this post alone.

    I agree with all of this, and am also finally starting to see my way to a truer, calmer, happier, more balanced, more settled life. And a life full of better, more meaningful eye contact.

    Eye contact really is key.

    Happiest birthday to you.

    Reply

  501. Happy Birthday! I love your listen of what you have learned. It’s a fun way to think about your life.

    Reply

  505. Happy birthday Joy !

    What an amazing personality you are. Love the fact you have achieved so much in 30 yrs and yet you are so humble. Admire your sense of humor. Thank you for sharing your recipes and a peek at your life. Wishing you many more wonderful years to come.

    Suraja

    Reply

  506. Happy birthday! I’ve been reading your blog for about a week and love your creativity and your writing. And the recipes, of course. Have a wonderful birthday and year ahead.

    Reply

  507. May everyday bring you a sliver of pure happiness.
    My sincere wishes for you.
    Last year was beer and jelly beans, this year, champagne and carrot cake. Next year, Paris!
    P.S
    I keep my own secrets, so it is possible.
    P.P.S.
    Secret #63 I have no idea how to use commas.

    Reply

  509. wishing you the happiest of birthdays Joy!! :)

    i adored this post and the photos too! you’re an inspiration and always bring a smile to my face! keep on keepin on, girl!

    Reply

  510. Happy birthday Joy!! I hope you go out and have an amazing day!

    p.s. I’m making a good friend one of your cakes for her birthday tomorrow, I sneaked your cookbook in to work today so I can go through it again and pick out the best one for her. Thank you for your words of wisdom, for all of your recipes, and for your great cookbook!

    Reply

  511. hApPy bIrThDaY jOy JoY! !!!!! I am having my 16 year old read this list today on her birthday. I sure wish I had one to read when I was 15-16. tHaNk yOu and have a sure duper day<3
    Rachel

    Reply

  512. Happy Birthday Joy!! You are amazing and I appreciate you opening your world up to the rest of us and making us smile and laugh all along the way! Have a TREMENDOUS birthday!

    Reply

  517. Happy Birthday Joy! This is my first time commenting even though I have been reading this blog (and stealing recipes) for the past two years. I am turning 30 in two months and this post was so delightful and right on point! Thanks for this, and I hope you have an awesome birthday filled with love, laughter and great food.

    Reply

  519. Happy Birthday! I love it! I feel the exact same way, I have been on this earth 32 years next month, crazy!

    Oh, I have an extra one for the list, maybe I should have 2. “Life is cut short sometimes, try to find something good in everyday.”

    Reply

  525. Happy birthday, Joy! Thanks for these awesome bits of wisdom. As a girl with very few girl friends, I can say with certainty that I would want to be your friend (if only I lived on the left coast) :)

    Reply

  526. happy happy birthday joy!

    i SO wish i could bake you a cake and we could sit and enjoy it together! i gotta tell you – when we met at the chicago book signing you wrote in my book – “i hope you make lots of cakes”…

    what you didn’t know is that i was in the midst of considering if i had what it takes to make the cake and cupcakes for my nephew’s wedding…

    well, you pushed me over the edge, gave me the confidence i needed and i DID IT!

    thank you so much for being a constant inspiration. for making me feel less crazy. for just being you.

    you are wonderful and i’m so glad you have chosen to share some of your life with all of us!

    today we celebrate you!

    much love,

    sue

    Reply

  529. Happy Birthday!
    I definitely loved my 30’s way more than my 20’s (I seemed to have my “stuff” more together). My eldest girl is having her 18th today – today is a great day for a birthday :-)

    Reply

  530. Happy birthday Joy! Your discoveries over the last 30 yrs are well put. Have a super day, weekend, and year ahead.

    Reply

  531. Wishing you a very happy birthday, Joy!

    My own accumulated wisdom includes this: Summer is made spectacular with fruit ice creams. Creamy-creamy vanilla with chunks of real peaches… Just the idea of it brings joy to my heart and tears to my eyes.

    Reply

  532. Cara Joy,

    TANTI AUGURI!
    you made me remember, i had my first surprise party for my thirties. that was cool.
    in my 32s now, and i’ve learned that making somebody happy, for no reason, is cool too.

    You make me (and a lot of other people too!) happy.
    Thanks for that!

    un abbraccio

    Reply

  534. Happy birthday, Joy! Thanks for such a beautiful list, it was the perfect start to my morning. You’re such an inspiration, keep on being awesome!

    Reply

  540. Happy birthday, Joy! And thank you for saying this:

    No one keeps secrets. Remember this when you’re telling you’re people all your business.

    It’s true and no one says it. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It can keep us honest and tuned in.
    Birthday love!

    Reply

  543. love you and your blog. wishing you a very happy birthday and another wonderful year – thanks for sharing so much of yourself with us!

    Reply

  544. “Don’t wait for some dumb boy to give you closure. You give yourself closure. That’s real. Tie that mess right on up. But ice cream if necessary.”

    My favorite–and this must be learned over and over again, unfortunately/fortunately. And I’ve never regretted a breakup ice cream cone. Bon anniversaire!

    Reply

  546. Happy Birthday, Joy! You are amazing and I really enjoy following you on here. Not only do I get rave reviews for any recipe of yours I make and share, I genuinely enjoy your wisdom and perspective (and as a recent 29 year old I should be whipping up some wisdom and perspective myself…but whatever, I’ll get there). Have an great birthday!

    Reply

  547. Happy Birthday Joy!

    You always make my days brighter, I hope you know that! (especially when there are fluffy orange kitty pictures involved in your posts…. just sayin’)

    I hope you have a great one!!!!

    Reply

  549. Happy Birthday, Joy! I hope it’s filled with happiness & love. And by 30, we all know that choosing happiness & love really is a CHOICE….not fate or coincidence :)

    Reply

  554. Happy birthday Joy. And thank you for your 30-ish things learnt. It’s inspirational and although I’m older than you, there’s a lot I can learn from you. Let’s see if I can achieve some of the things you’ve recommended aye! :-)

    Reply

  557. Happy Birthday, Joy! Thanks for sharing your 31-year-old wisdom with us young’uns! So grateful to have you as an “elder”!

    Reply

  558. Happy Birthday Joy! Your recipes are fabulous, but it is these posts that are the real food for the soul.

    I would never normally suggest another ingredient, but closure from boys and bad restaurant experiences can also be achieved with chocolate….

    Reply

  559. Happy Birthday Joy and many more years of happiness and learning! God bless you, xx all the way from sunny Spain

    Reply

  563. Happy Birthday! I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve enjoyed it immensely. Thanks! (PS that shot of you in LAX really makes me miss LA)

    Reply

  564. Your list is ALMOST as wonderful and complete as you are, Joy!
    One thing I learned in my 4th decade that I wish I had known in my 3rd… life is full of rollercoasters and storms. Take Dramamine and wear adorable rain boots so that you don’t have to wait for the storm to pass. Just dance in the rain!!
    Happy birthday to beautiful you!

    Reply

  567. Lovely, witty, and spot on as always. Can I send my daughters to Joy’s summer camp? Wishing you a Happy Birthday and another year filled with God’s goodness.

    Reply

  570. Happy Birthday to you! It’s my birthday too!

    I have been subscribing to your blog for the past few weeks and I have to say I really enjoy it and feel like I can connect with you. And now, knowing that we have the same birthday is even cooler!!

    Thanks for the birthday advice. I’m turning 25 today and I think all of it is very useful. Have a good birthday!

    Reply

  571. Happy Birthday! I have nearly 12 years on you and I totally agree with your list. I can add, if I may: our bodies are truly temples. Keep yours healthy, strong, and beautiful, inside and out. Even if you have 5 rugrats running circles around you. Health is the alpha and omega. No excuses. Take care of yourself!! Oh and tanning is for the birds. Skin cancer sucks. Flaunt your pasty yet exquisitely toned legs proudly!

    Reply

  577. Happy Birthday Joy! I hope today is filled with lots of love and delicious cake. and maybe a cocktail or two.(=

    Reply

  586. Happy birthday! Love this stuff. The closure line is spot on adivce too – tying my mess right on up right now!

    Reply

  588. Happy Birthday, Joy! I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. I remember reading your lessons post (and then seeing it relinked for a long time thereafter on so many sites) and it feels like it was just last week that all happened. But a year has gone by so fast!

    Have an amazing day and year; you are fabulous! And so is this list. Love it!

    Reply

  592. Happy birthday! Thanks for the sage advice (sorry I just wanted to get a food reference in there). Sometimes you forget the things you’ve learned and need reminding. Thanks for that too.

    Reply

  597. Happy Joyday, Joy!

    I get the 30 thing next year. You make it seem not-scary :)

    And I’ll have you know, I’m plenty nice to the other girls….They just think I’m weird. >.>

    Reply

  599. Happy Birthday Joy! Though I am far from being 30 but I guess I can very well use your pearls of wisdom throughout my tweens specially the one on patience!. Amazing write up, thank you!

    Reply

  601. Out of all the amazing stuff you post, this might be my favourite. I just turned 26 and I have a whole lot more learning to do…this list is definitely being bookmarked for the next 5 years. Happy Birthday!! Have an awesome day x

    Reply

  602. I love you, Joy! You’re the best, the very best :)

    When I’m having a bad day, I hop on over to your blog, knowing that your posts will make me smile and give me the confidence to face another day with my head held high.

    If I ever get a chance to meet you (and, I really hope that I do), don’t get freaked out if I hug you and start crying.

    Oooh, and I love your style!

    Reply

  604. Happy Birthday Joy, wishing you plenty of good things!

    Turned 28 6 days ago, and I still haven’t recovered. Also, you make me want to move to LA and live by the beach. Just sayin’.

    Reply

  606. Dear Joy,
    this was such a nice and true post. I think 30’s are the best decade because you’ve learnt so many things… but you still have lots of things to discover.
    For instance, I’ve discover your blog not so long ago! :-)
    Happy birthday!

    Reply

  611. Happy Birthday, Joy! An awesome write-up as usual… I am turning 31 in a couple of days and I hope to practice all of those things, especially patience!

    Reply

  612. Happy birthday Joy :) I still haven’t learnt a few of those things yet, but I’m hoping they’ll come on the next 12 years or so… :) thanks for sharing :)

    Reply

  613. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, JOY!
    You are one special Lady, thank you for all your hard work, yummy recipes, beautiful pics and wise words! Have a great day!

    Reply

  618. happy birthday lady!

    Also, My Big American Gypsy Wedding… watched and love so so much. And while he might not admit it, the boy and I actually watched a few episodes on our romantic weekend way.

    Reply

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