Alternate titles of this post include:
If You Cancel My Flight One More Time, I Swear To God I’ll Eat a King-Size Snickers Bar and You’ll Be Sorry (but will you?)
Only A Milkshake Can Fix This
Get That Salad Out Of My Face, Please
I Need A Hug.. no wait… I Need French Fries
Seriously. Stop Hugging Me and Please Bring Me Fries (and a King-Size Snickers Bar)
I’m Eating My Feelings, and My Feelings Are… Granola…?
This Is What It Looks Like to Not Eat The King-Size Snickers Bar (and remain sane)
and…
I’m Being Dramatic
I’m happy to do my part, airline people. I’ll smash too many clothes into too small a carry-on suitcase. I’ll package together tiny shampoos and a tiny toothbrush into a clear plastic bag so that God and everyone can snoop at my hygiene regime. I’ll let you dust my hands for whatever explosive thing it is you think I touched. I’ll let you charge me $4.00 for water, as long as you let me stand at your kiosk and read Vogue cover-to-cover for free. I’ll stand in your lines of angry people. I’ll shove my suitcase in the space that is not enough space for my suitcase. I’ll let you show me that seatbelt demonstration, and that vest thing, and mask ordeal. I’ll even pretend to ignore the dude that’s sitting in the window seat… I’ll pretend to ignore him as hard as he’s pretending to ignore me.
I’ll totally do my part.
Your part is to make the plane go into the air, at a high speed, in the direction it needs to go. If you don’t do that. If you make me sit on the plane and pretend to ignore the dude in the window seat, only to tell me two hours later that I need to get off the plane because the flight is cancelled….. that’s you not doing your part.
If you’re not going to do your part, the very least you can do is a) apologize, b) admit that you totally suck, and c) buy me a milkshake and french fries so that I can angry-eat my feelings.
Right?
The thing is… if you know you’re about to angry-eat your feelings, you should totally NOT angry-eat your feelings.
In this particular case, I wanted nothing more than a milkshake and french fries, and a cheeseburger, and pizza, and brownies slathered in peanut butter. Instead I made better choices: tart non-fat frozen yogurt, granola with toasted coconut and goji berries, and a yummy dose of maple syrup. Good food feels… good. None of it will make your flight fly. That’s real. But (this is what I told myself), you might as well eat something that will satisfy your angry-eating but not lead to angry-eating guilt.
Other things you might consider: I-Can’t-Even-Deal-Right-Now Lunch or Chocolate. Whatever.
I-Can’t-Even-Deal-Right-Now Dessert
You’ll Need:
tart non-fat frozen yogurt
a handful of granola (two hands full, really)
3 tablespoons maple syrup.
Scoop yogurt. Sprinkle granola. Drizzle maple syrup. Go!
85 Responses
Thank you, Joy, for being such an inspiration. I had to resort to this yesterday after a hard day at work that resulted in me leaving early due to the stress. Unfortunately, I missed the word “frozen” and got regular yogurt, but it was still a good dinner!
Joy, your timing is perfect! I read this post it loud to my husband while we were stuck at the airport when our flight was canceled. Thank you so much for the much needed smile and chuckle.
Ps:. I love your cookbook and will be making the pumpkin bundt for our Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend.
Yes!!!
I had this experience recently & it ended with angry tweeting and two chocolate glazed dunkin doughnuts. I was not as good as you!
You might be luckier than me because TJ’s here on the central coast has DISCONTINUED its tart frozen yogurt. I almost cried when they told me. I wanted to have a lay down on the floor screaming tantrum. I wanted to throw things. I wanted to tell them that it was an impossibility for them to discontinue the only perfect purchase-able dessert (versus homemade) that I know of. It’s nothing short of devastating.
I prefer the title, “Get that Salad out of my face.” That’s how I feel several times a week!
Flying would be so much more fun, if you didn’t have to go to the airport.
I’m trying this granola + fro-yo combo next time I feel like angry eating. I bet it would be a great compromise!
yum, this sounds so easy yet delicious!
and i can understand your frustration,
i’m sorry to hear that happened!
xo, cheyenne
You always crack me up, Joy. Feeling pretty anxious at the moment, if only granola and frozen yogurt were on the ready I would anxious-eat those feelings away. Or attempt to.
So sorry you had to go through all that,,sometimes airlines are very inconsiderate!! kudos for making healthy choices which is often times hard for me when im going through all these phases :)
hahahaha i love a good rant
I couldn’t help but think that your goji berries looked angry amidst all your calmly golden brown granola…lol! Hooo-boy. I’m sorry airlines suck and that you totally had to pretend not to pay attention to the dude next to you for two whole (non-flying) hours. Why can’t airlines suck it up and at least apologize when things go wrong? Jerks.
Oooh I’ve been there, sorry to hear you have too! But on the bright side, that dessert looks freaking fabulous! I’m a sucker for anything frozen yogurt, so this one is a must try! Thanks for the share!
I just made granola, and it didn’t even occur to me that it might count as dessert. This morning it was I-Can’t-Even-Deal-Already breakfast.
I had a similar weekend flight experience, but I just went with plain, dark chocolate :)
I had a similar weekend flight experience, but I went with the chocolate option :)
Joy, you are the voice of wisdom!!
I have plenty of bad flying stories but won’t share them. But suffice it to say, that if I were Window Seat Guy. I would totally let you have my seat and not ignore you. Might even share my Snickers…..
I probably would have freaked out and been kicked off the plane for being obnoxious. Or cried, because I do that when I’m frustrated like an overgrown 4 year old.
What brand of buy-at-the-store tart frozen yogurt did you have? I can’t ever find a tart one, and the vanilla is just not my jam.
(May I also suggest finding some chocolate balsamic vinegar and pouring that over it? It’s more grown up than chocolate sauce, and tastes amazing!)
now that is some advice to live by. however, i’m not sure i have that kind of self control in times of intense stress! oh well, something to work towards…
Ugh, isn’t plane travel the worst when it goes awry?! Good on you for eating this, I would have face planted into a bag of french fries!
and people ask me why I prefer to drive….. i do not need one more reason to suppress/overcome eat-my-feelings emotions….. and i can take all the food and drink i want with me!
You’re absolutely right — recognizing that you are about to eat your feelings is when you should stop and NOT do so…can you share some of your self-control with me? =) Either way, reading your posts always helps to cheer me up and make me less likely to consume my own weight in a self-indulgent pity party: Thank you!
Hi Joy, Sorry you couldn’t make it to VT this weekend. I live about 4 miles from King Arthur and its swell. When you reschedule, make sure to: bring your sneaks and do the short hike up gile mountain (which has a fire tower on top! very new england), get a cup of coffee from Dirt Cowboy Cafe (they make each cup to order and roast the beans locally), order the turkey, apple, brie sandwich from Market Table in Hanover, check out some of the other great bakeries in the upper valley- umplebeys in Hanover and allechante in Norwich (market table is also owned by allechante), lastly, allow yourself to get lost for a little while in the Dartmouth library (from the huge Orozoco mural to the upstairs study spaces that make you feel you’ve time traveled to the year 1900). And hey, if you want someone to take you on said little hike, I’m happy to. (promise I’m not creepy or clingy, just an almost 30 something who rides bikes, has a pickling habit, and keeps my medical student husband well fed).
thanks for all your hard work and keep the veganish recipes coming! (I cook for a lacto :-/ )
Yum. Will make right away. And I’m totally with ya on the airline keeping up their end of the bargain. It’s like George Constanza and the pigeons – “We had a deal!”
xo,
shalan
OMG I love this Joy. While this has not happened to me (or maybe it has and I don’t know it, since I take sleeping pills when I fly) I can just about feel your pain. It feels like we do a lot of the work and are left with the empty paper bag. Kevin Spacey once said wouldn’t it be great if those folks who don’t know how to communicate had taken drama in high school – it’s so true – come on airline and transport people communicate – apologize and give that girl some fries and a milkshake. xo
Totally not related- but saw your cake recipes in glamour on my flight yesterday ( ok, so kind of related) and got VERY excited! Cant wait to try them out
This just enhanced my love for you and your adorableness! Frozen yogurt fixes (almost) everything… even cancelled flights. I hate flying so, I would have accompanied my frozen yogurt (angry-feelings-eating) with a panic attack, and maybe a Milky Way :)
Joy, your writing skills are so fun. You should write an Evanovichesque novel centered around a baker/blogger and make a million! Glad I got to know you on the sail.
Love love love love it!
ew. hail no. please text someone and have them bring you duck fat french fries on the sly. girl please…
also when i read ‘get that salad out of my face’ all i could think of was nacho libre haha
I feel for you that this incredibly frustrating thing happened, but thank god you can write about it so amazingly, and dare I say hilariously? You put a smile on my face :) I hope that yogurt put one on yours xx Sera
Proud of you, girl.
Also, I clicked back to the burnt chocolate banana thing… good NIGHT that looks good.
Having all of these items on hand is scaring me a bit, but I’m feeling like it might just have to happen tonight.
Well done – getting past the angry-eating is NOT easy. Tired eating is my nemesis. Thanks for the reminder that I can say no to my “eat everything sweet in range” urge and push on to a smart, but satisfying choice =)
*shakes angry fist* That is really the worst flight story I’ve ever heard! :( 2 hours and a canceled flight? *clinks hot chocolate glasses* *accepts excuse for eating all the things*
I can totally relate. It took me 13hrs. to get back to LA from Minneapolis!! (it’s a 3 hr. flight) I did ask for a meal voucher.
If you ever find yourself stuck at the Mpls/St. Paul airport. go to https://surdyksflights.com/ So incredible. Spilts of all wine, gorgeous sandwiches, cheese, quince paste…the list goes on and on, you won’t even want the King size snickers.
*This not a paid endorsement, just a happy camper in an unfortunate situation. Who knows, you might have a book signing there one day. You have a huge following there. The MN food bloggers LOVE you!! https://www.facebook.com/groups/fortifyfood/
Dear Joy,
We love you. And I will totally make the drive over to VT again, should you be able to reschedule.
Perhaps there was one benefit to you not being there – I didn’t have to worry about appearing too much like a stalker in your presence.
Hah I love this… I can agree with this way too much. I just got done eating 5 pieces of bacon and 3 biscuits and gravy past what I SHOULD have eaten but I was passive aggressively dealing with my frustration of having the responsibility to cook for just myself, then + 3 boys, then +3 other family members. What should have been a 4 minute ordeal turned into a 120 minute ordeal. Dang it. And now my poor gut has to take the brunt of it now. -sigh- Oh, irrational woman.
Thanks for posting! :)
Shelby
Now I want a big Snickers bar…and this little fro yo treat. haha! Sorry about your flight…I feel your pain :(
I take it you had a bad flight?
such a bummer!! but where did you get those adorably sweet bowls?? been lookin’ everywhere.
I can certainly relate!! But do you have anything for: I-love-being-a-girl-but-I-could-do-without-these-mind-blowing-cramps!?
:)
I hate when that happens. It’s gotten better though since moving from Chicago. Waiting for a plane to de-ice, or a runway, only to find there’s something wrong with the plane. Time you can’t get back. This dessert definitely eases that burden though.
Why is granola soooo gooood? I was recently at an airport (Dallas) that had a fro-yo bar. It was tiny and had limited toppings, but all ya really need is some fruit and granola! You’re right, a guilt-free treat :)
Dear Joy, congrats on finding a healthy way to satisfy the desire to anger-eat. I’m so impressed! You showed great grace in a stressful (many nasty descriptors omitted!) situation.
I have a couple of airline-madness stress relievers that might be useful? Hire a limo to take you to/from the airport. Admit that the cost is cheaper than anger-driven obesity. That worrying about getting to the flight on time, getting home if you’re routed to an airport other than the one at which your car is parked, driving in traffic when you’re jet-lagged, starving, dehydrated ALL are adding to your angst. My second mind-saver is carrying a big very light-weight handbag that will hold bottles of water and snacks, and have improved that bag by adding big grommets so I can add a cross body strap so my hands are free to deal with boarding documents, etc. (Mine is the “only bag” by Baggallini which holds all the above, plus my rolled up hat, sunscreen, iPad, phone–hey I’ve had pre-cancerous spots removed so I’m serious about sun protection, have never tanned even when I was young and foolish. Yeah, I am seriously pale.) Then, I think about the airline employees who, through no fault of their own have no information to give all of us–and some people are being truly beastly about it. And I am grateful that I do not work for that airline! ;-p
That looks like such a good idea. I could really use some comfort food right now, and would be even better if the food was sort of healthy.
With the amount of flying that I’ve done in the last two and a half, I am so, so thankful that that has never been an issue. But it looks like you came up with the perfect solution!
i adore you joy.
that is all.
Hey, sometimes food is the only thing that will soothe soul. Feel better!
I use to say that if Nature wanted to us to fly, she would have gave us wings !
Brilliant. so much better than a snickers-you show them! that airline will be eating out of your hands now!
Flight cancellation is incredibly frustrating. Especially when you’ve been sitting in the plane on the tarmac for hours and THEN the flight cancels. That happened to me last year when I was flying from SF to move to Austin. Lots of goodbyes and dramatic “let’s keep in touch” and “I will miss you” and then — after spending the whole day at the airport — I had to call a friend for a ride and do it all over again the following day. Cannot remember what I ate that night, but it should have been this…
Are you still in Austin?
Sigh, angry eating, flights — sorry for your airplane troubles, Joy.
Of course, my angry eating granola ends up being more like four handfuls rather than one or two, and as much as I’d like it to be more healthful than a Snickers… yeah, no!
Sorry, Joy! Airlines/airports are such the worst, you feel so helpless! I’m glad you get to enjoy some yogurt/granola/these are not french fries superiority
Airline travel, ugh! But way to stick it to em by not letting them win – i.e you did not “angry-eat your feelings”. Congrats on that.
Such a bummer :( But this looks great. Silver lining, I guess? Feel better!
“Angry-eat your feelings” is perhaps one of the greatest quotes of all times. Thanks for sharing–I have certainly had travel days like these. Can’t say I remained as disciplined as you though :)
Dude I get this. Airline travel makes me get very angry, frustrated, and inevitably flushed and a tiny bit sweaty. Why would you make me put my handbag in my tiny suitcase, airline? Can’t you see I was using it as tiny suitcase overspill? Kudos for not snarling at airport staff.
Things always look easy and funny when you write about them, but things in real life aren’t, and I always appreciate you for making them look easy and funny while never making us forget that they aren’t.
Sorry for the flight…
We felt the same way after driving 1 1/2 hours from our home in NH to Norwich VT to King Arthur Flour to hear yiu and meet you and found out your flight was cancelled! We are hoping for the reschedule or for Boston
We missed you at King Arthur yesterday! I totally understand the frustration about flights…and it’s all completely out of your hands.
I’m having an I-con’t-even-deal-right-now moment…err, day…make that weekend, too. I’m getting married in three weeks and the list of to-dos keeps piling up, the calls from well-meaning family and friends with reminders and questions are endless, and yesterday, I decided my dress makes me look “hippy” (and not in a cool 60s way). Oh, and next weekend, I’m running a marathon. Yes, I’m running a marathon two weeks before I get hitched. I’m crazy, and a stressed out mess. And I can’t drink wine because I have to run this huge race I’ve been training for in six days. Your post made me feel better and so did this dessert. It allowed me to “eat my feelings” in a healthy way…and still fit in my dress…and not open up one (or all!) of the many bottles of wine (for the wedding) that are stockpiled in the house. Many thanks, Joy! I hope you’re next flight is flawless!
That is very good advice! When I’m stressed the first thing I want is a big juicy burger, onion rings and a milkshake. I used to indulge every Friday after a rough week at work. It was kinda like my reward. I try to go the healthier route now if I can…i still indulge every once in while though. And I love all the alternative titles!
If this happened this week, I think my friend must have been on the same plane as you. Not fun…..
Don’t you wish we had a better train system? I am so sick of airlines too, I tell everyone I know if I ever become uber rich I will invest in a rail system. Its such a lovely way to travel. So sorry you couldn’t come to Vermont (I live just outside of Burlington) we would have loved you! Next time ;) will there be a next time? Thanks for making such tasty things and being all around awesome :) – P.S. – I lURVE your blog font
Joy, that was too funny. Some parts of life just have to be made fun of to deal. And you do it excellently. I am going to be laughing about this for the next couple of weeks. And no, I am not exaggerating at all. I’ll be at the check-out or doing dishes and I will suddenly have this little bundle of laughter that’s going to bubble up. I cannot wait. THAN YOU!!
I love your teeny scoops of yogurt. Totally had me doing a scale double-take. Wee and ladylike, yo.
Love, love, love
I SO know that feeling! Though I’d majorly need chocolate.
I can feel your aggravation. You are such a good writer.
i completely feel your pain about airline travel! i’m american but live in sydney, so to get home to visit the fam in miami, it takes 21+ hours of airports, which in and of itself requires a MASSIVE psych up.
i’m vegan so always travel with food, and on these flights it’s like a day’s worth. i vividly remember one time trying to go through security and having my hummus taken because it’s apparently a “gel.” i seriously almost cried, and then anger ate an entire bag of newsstand wasabi peas. worst idea ever.
simple and lovely. Another great one joy!
I hope you made it to VT in time!
Boarding a flight this week – really hope this doesn’t happen to me! Sorry you feel so stressed Joy.
Oh man, I know. My summer vacation started with eight whole hours sitting on the tarmac in an airplane which was supposed to be flying me home to visit my family. Which went no where. No where! In eight whole hours! And the kicker? When they finally decided to cancel the flight the freaking door got stuck and we literally couldn’t get off of the dang plane! I wish I had low fat frozen yoghurt and granola then – instead I angry ate an entire bag of smoked almonds.
Did you know, the Germans have a word “Kummerspeck” that translates directly to “grief bacon” and is used to refer to the weight you gain after eating your feelings. Thinking about grief bacon is my chosen method for downplaying desires to feed my emotions.
God I love those germans and their perfectly appropriate smash-up words.
I had a business flight once… a mommy comes back to a seat near me — fussy baby in tow. Before i could roll my eyes, she openly apologizes to everyone in earshot and opens up a box of ear plugs, free to all.
Baby was quiet the entire time.
love
you survive so well; you really do rock at it. last night I had a very-similar-but-less-successful reaction with [full-fat] vanilla ice cream with [full-fat] hot fudge and malt powder. you win. thanks for letting us know we’re not the only anger-eaters out there.
I just got off a plane, and boy can I relate to this! Seriously, $4 for water?!
Isn’t airline travel glamorous and fabulous? not.
Sorry you’re dealing with it….but looks like you’re making the most of it.
Needed to read this right now. Having some stress/anxiety/worry feelings really badly. Thanks for a little sunshine <3
Airlines are the worst! But what a perfect treat for when life is just utterly impossible.