I tried on about thirty different pairs of skinny jeans last week. It wasn’t cute. This trend is not ok with me.
I have thighs. They rub together a little.
These candies might be why.
If you feel compelled to make some sort of joke about the word ‘joy’ in the title of this recipe and my name… which is also Joy.
Well… go on. Get it out of your system.
Just don’t make any Joy to the World jokes. I’m so over those.
I really like what’s going on with these little gems. I combined unsweetened coconut with sweetened condensed milk and toasted almonds… and I covered the whole thing in dark chocolate. Seriously good.
But aren’t Almond Joys kind of a Grandpa candy bar? No… that’s Baby Ruth… totally an old dude candy bar.
Homemade Almond Joy
makes about 30 little bars
7 ounces sweetened condensed milk
1 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
pinch of salt
2 1/2 cups unsweetened flaked coconut
30 almonds
about 20 ounces (a bag and a half) of good quality semi sweet chocolate chips
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F, spread raw almonds onto a baking sheet and toast for about 10 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool.
In a medium bowl, whisk together sweetened condensed milk, powdered sugar, salt and vanilla extract. Stir in the unsweetened coconut. The mixture will be thick. Place mixture in the freezer for 3o minutes. It’s easier to work with if it’s a little cold.
Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Remove the coconut mixture from the freezer. With clean hands shape one tablespoon of coconut into a little log about 2 inches long and 3/4-inch thick. Press the logs together very well so they don’t crack when dipped. Place the log on the lined baking sheet and continue until all of the coconut mixture is gone. Rinse hands occasionally if they get too sticky. Press an almond on top of each coconut log. It might not completely stick. That’s ok. Place the baking sheet in the fridge to chill while you melt the chocolate.
Place a medium pot with two inches of water over a medium flame. Bring the water to a simmer. Place chocolate chips in a heat proof bowl and place the bowl over the simmering water. Stir the chocolate as it melts. Turn off the flame once the chocolate has melted but keep the bowl of melted chocolate over the hot water.
Remove the coconut candies from the fridge. Place one coconut almond log on a fork. Use a spoon to scoop a bit of chocolate over the almond. This will help the almond stick to the candy and not fall off during dipping. Lower fork into chocolate and spoon chocolate over candy to coat. Lift fork and gently shake to release some of the chocolate. Scrape the bottom of the fork along the side of the bowl and place on the lined baking sheet. You might need a toothpick to help get the candy off the fork. Repeat until all candy is coated in chocolate. If chocolate gets thick, just turn on the flame and heat slightly.
Let dipped candy harden in the fridge for 45 minutes. Store in an airtight container at room temperature. If you need to layer the candy in a container, use waxed paper to separate the layers.
Andrea
You guys are making me feel bad for finally embracing the skinny jean trend. In my defense, I have actually always wanted some thunderthighs but even lifting weights to try to boost my thigh-level has been unsuccessful so I’ve just decided to embrace my freakishly skinny legs and go ahead and wear skinny jeans. Know this: skinny legs are part of my (latin) heritage and unfortunately for me, if/ when I get fat I will have that unfortunate muffin top thing going on and I hope someone tells me it is no longer okay to wear skinny jeans.
The end.
Liz @ Blog is the New Black
These are one of my FAVORITE candies… they look delicious and I bet they taste even better homademade!!!! AHHHH! Thanks for sharing.
Kristin
You are officially my hero. Seriously. I just broke down and bought an Almond Joy at the store a few weeks ago. Now I can make them myself and not worry about all the icky stuff that’s in the them. So excited to make a mess of these and share them with my mom.
Wei-Wei
I think that maybe the almond should have gone on the outside. It would have looked really gourmet.
Katrina
These DO look joyful. Oh my.
Shauna
I can’t think of Baby Ruths without thinking of my grandfather. He always had a stash of the miniature bars hidden in the glove compartment of his Ford F-150 and in the cabinet of his wood shop. He said it was our “our secret”, which I thought was totally awesome until I learned from my mother that he’d been using those hiding places for years. He was so cute. :)
Becca
I have to say it: you are hilarious! I’m from Toronto, Canada and we’ve got a few good blogs up here but yours is truly a ‘joy’ to read LOL. (Sorry. Couldn’t resist!) I found your blog by accident one day a few months ago and have become quite devoted. I always look forward to your posts. This almond joy looks amazing, especially since they don’t sell it here! And don’t worry about the skinny jeans honey – you’re young and beautiful and skinny jeans don’t deserve you…or me, for that matter!
Val
I’m sick of the skinny nation of women trying to duplicate pre-pubescent girls. Thighs are meant to rub together. Skinny jeans should be about celebrating your womanly curves and not imitating a stick. And almond joys should be eaten and enjoyed.
Jojo
haha true
Maria
One word : YUM. Those look so good. And covering them in chocolate is inspired :) xxx
Silvia
Skinny jeans don’t do for me either, besides how many people in the world look good in them? Two maybe? These almond jewels speak for themselves…
Jennifer L.
Personally, I was just singing the “Almond Joys have nuts, Mounds don’t. Because sometimes you feel like a nut–sometimes you don’t” jingle in my head. :) No “Joy” jokes here.
But these do look good.
Jody in Japan
Holy Moly!!!!!! I know what my private Halloween candy will be this year. Joy you are cho subarashi (a.k.a. AMAZING). I can’t get these here and they are in my top 3 of candy bars. Oh boy, oh boy. Happy days are here!
Panya
Don’t be hatin’ on Baby Ruths — I ate one every day for breakfast, along with a Tab energy drink, when I first started my job. Watered-down Skittle water and salty peanuts got me through some tough times. ;-)
IMO skinny jeans only look good on people in ’80s movies. And even then, they’re iffy.
Granola Girl
I’m with you on the skinny jeans. Seriously, how skinny do you have to be for those to look good? Like unhealthy, unhappy, can’t eat anything and have to go throw up because you drank some water skinny!
Let’s just all eat Almond Joys, be happy, and go back to jeans that were designed for normal people.
Sea turtles love cookies
OH MY GOSH YES. they look fantastic beyond words. cannot wait to make these puppies.