Dear Future Husband,
I got your email yesterday… the one with the subject line “To My Future Wife”.
Um….. can I be honest? That was sweet… but a little creeptown.
I know… I know… you’re probably going to say it was all a joke and you were just kidding and blah blah blah.
Listen. You may get the impression from this blog that it’s all sunshine and lollipops here at my end of the world.
Here’s some things you should know:
Sometimes I run out of toothpaste and forget to buy more. Irresponsible. I’m sorry.
I only have 168 Facebook friends. That’s not a lot.
I adopt stray cats… even the ones with dirty, matted fur. And I love them. And I talk to them in my cat voice.
I have a voice I use specifically for cats.
I put my feet on the coffee table. I’m demanding and unreasonable when I get stressed out. I text too much. I don’t want a pet bird. I don’t want to pretend that I like your mother’s pet bird. Oh.. and I’ll lose my everloving mind if you get pee on the floor and don’t clean it up. I will.
So… yea. I understand if you want to retract that email now. If you don’t, you’re nutso.
I made breakfast polenta this morning. Since I couldn’t decide if I wanted it sweet or savory, I made it both ways.
Then I ate both bowls.
Then I realized that I wanted savory breakfast polenta… but the sweet polenta was a lovely warm up.
Polenta… if you don’t know… is ground cornmeal. When boiled with water, milk and butter, cornmeal cooks up into a creamy, warm, super comforting bowl of good.
Sweet Breakfast Polenta
Makes two large or four small servings
3 cups water
1 cup yellow polenta
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon unsalted butter
1/4 cup milk
1/2 ripe pear, sliced thin
1 tablespoon coarsely chopped pecans
small handful dried cranberries
1-2 tablespoons honey
milk
add cinnamon and nutmeg if you’re feeling spicy
Check the directions on your particular box of polenta, as the coarseness, ratios and cooking times may vary. This was my experience.
Bring water to a boil. Add salt and turn burner down to a simmer. Add dried polenta in a stream, whisking constantly so no lumps form. Polenta will begin to thicken immediately. Whisk occasionally for about 6 to 8 minutes. Add butter and milk to the polenta and whisk over flame until your desired consistency is reached.
Top polenta with pear slices, nuts, cranberries, honey and as much milk as you like. Delicious!
Savory Breakfast Polenta
Makes two large or four small servings
3 cups water
1 cup yellow polenta
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup milk
3 slices bacon, cooked crisp
1/4 cup diced onions
1 small garlic clove, finely diced
3 tablespoons grated cheese
2 to 4 large egg, fried, depending on how many people you want to feed
Check the directions on your particular box of polenta, as the coarseness, ratios and cooking times may vary. This was my experience.
Bring water to a boil. Add salt and turn burner down to a simmer. Add dried polenta in a stream, whisking constantly so no lumps form. Polenta will begin to thicken immediately. Whisk occasionally for about 6 to 8 minutes. Add butter and milk to the polenta and whisk over flame until your desired consistency is reached.
In a medium skillet, cook bacon until crisp. Remove cooked bacon and place on a paper towel to drain. Cut into large bits when cool enough to handle. Cook the diced onion in the bacon fat until browned and soft. Add the diced garlic and cook for 2 minutes. Remove onions and garlic and place in a small bowl. In the same skillet over medium heat, fry the egg. Fry is easy or hard… however you fancy your eggs.
Place polenta in a bowl and top with cheese, onions, bacon and the fried egg. Hot sauce and black pepper are highly recommended.
jen is hungry
i really should not read your blog when i am hungry!! i was planing on enchilada’s for dinner now i want bacon!!! lol you are way too funny! thanks for the yummy breakfast idea.
Bethany @Bridezilla Bakes
Two recipes for the price (post?) of one? I’ll take it! I’ve heard about breakfast polenta… since I LOVE oatmeal so much, maybe I’ll have to bite the bullet and try this!
Amy Elizabeth
Breakfast can definitely go both ways, savory or sweet. I like that you made it both ways and ate both. I would have combined sweet and savory together, which generally comes out pretty darn disgusting, but I’m still oddly satisfied.
P.S. So nice meeting you at Picking Daisies yesterday and I love the way the new placemats look!
Michelle @ OrganizedEating
I have a different specific voice for tons of things (phone, cats, dogs, work) and it really pisses off my husband for some reason. I think I do it cuz I’m shy…and weird
joythebaker
i, too, am shy and weird. high five.
Melzor
I think most of your “flaws” are virtues. Especially the ones involving cats.
A few months ago, I ate too much polenta and haven’t been able to look at it since. But!! The savory breakfast polenta looks just too good, too pretty. I foresee it in my immediate future.
joythebaker
those aren’t flaws… they’re warnings.
Ashlae
Wait for it: I’ve never had polenta. But I must admit, I’m excited to see a recipe that won’t make my ass huge. If I gain more than 5 pounds this year, I am totally blaming you.
Heather (Heather's Dish)
i don’t think it’s fair to pick between the two…i’m going with a resounding two small bowls on my end!
Lady Gouda
Um. This post is hilarious. I loved it. Also, I love both of these breakfast polenta ideas. For some reason, I think I would do sweet on the weekdays and savory on the weekends, but I have no idea where that came from. Like DessertForTwo, I typically go with grits, but I think trying polenta for breakfast is a great idea- especially since I’ve been out of grits for weeks and keep forgetting them at the store.
Jessica @ How Sweet
I’ve never had polenta for breakfast. This needs remedied. What would I do without you?
Miss P
Ooh my vote’s with the savoury! Perhaps not the most elegant breakfast, but I bet it makes a damn fine hangover cure..not sure if that was your intention though! Nice work lady.
Lauren at KeepItSweet
Both versions look terrific. You always make me LOL!
Helena
I’ve never had polenta for breakfast before – great idea though.
And don’t worry, lots of people have cat voices!
Lauren
I’m an oatmeal fanatic, but the above recipes & photos have left me thinking that I need to switch up my breakfast routine! The polenta looks great, Joy :).
DessertForTwo
I’m totally loving this idea! I make grits in the morning and sometimes I like ’em sweet with sorghum syrup, raisins and cinnamon, and other days I like ’em spicy with jalapenos and cheddar! Grits is just polenta after all (yes, grits is, not grits are–it’s singular).
Yes, your future husband lives in creeptown. But maybe not? Maybe he just likes you so much he can’t help but mess things up at first?
P.S. Is that a typo? Should it be 4 eggs for 4 servings, or 2 egg for 2 large servings? Sorry, don’t mean to point out your flaws like that. Let me finish with a compliment: I saw you at Foodbuzz and had such a girl crush on you, I couldn’t walk up to you. How’s that for creeptown? :)
joythebaker
thanks for pointing out that typo! i’m terrible at proofreading! you saw me and didn’t say hello!? weirdo. i’m nice.. and shy… and next time say hello!
DessertForTwo
Ok, I promise, next time I’ll say hello. But only if you say hello back in your cat voice. Deal?
Ok, this is getting embarrassing, but there’s another typo–2-4 large eggS. I promise I’m not this obnoxious in real life. Just on the internet :)
ellen
hey that was a really cute intro- did you know there is actually a real website about a lady writing to her future husband?? you have just the knack to do that too! totally!
by the by, are you watching the bachelor this season? i would like you opinion on the guy… and the ridiculous drama if possible. it’s unpleasantly hilarious. ~
joythebaker
i’m totally watching the bachelor! ugh.. it’s so dumb.