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Everything Ever: a list

March 1, 2013 by Joy the Baker 112 Comments

Biscuits_005096

Just so you know… we’re allowed to doodle around here.  Doodle with our hands, and doodle with our minds (whoa, that’s deep).  It’s safe.  Just be you (even if you just want to doodle hearts and flowers).

What follows is a list of things that happen in my mind.  Maybe you have a little of the crazybrain too?

ONE:  I’ve been thinking a lot about the barometers of adulthood lately.  I think of marriage and children as easy adult gauges… and since I’m nowhere near either of those, I can still act a childish fool, right?!  Not quite.  I once thought that managing my own taxes was a clear sign of my adult-self living my adult life.  Living alone?!  Surely I’m grown!  Eating Cheetos for dinner… pffft, it’s like I rule the entire adult kingdom!!!

In fact, none of these are accurate barometers of adulthood.  I know, because I found the real measure:  It’s not taxes.  It’s not living alone… It’s cleaning my walls.  Actually scrubbing WALLS in my house.  I did this…. for hours.  I am now, most officially, living an adult life.  I also now  understand why we eat Cheetos for dinner.  Necessary comfort.

Buttermilk Beignets

TWO:  I wish there were one word to describe the following happenings:

– the act of adding water to you totally-already-empty bottle of dish soap, in order to extend its (already gone) life.  I have definitely never done this… but I know people who have (pffft).

-the act of using your roommate’s expensive shampoo then replacing the bottle exactly the way it was on the shower rack, as if they remember exactly how they place their shampoo.    Ps.  You smell like your roommates shampoo… you’re not actually fooling anyone (namely, your roommate).

– the act of freaking out that your yeasted dough is too wet, too dry, not risen, over risen, and otherwise totally shot-to-hell (as was my constant fear with these Buttermilk Beignets).

honey mustard broccoli salad

THREE:  I can’t wait to see all the random food that food bloggers turn green for the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day holiday.

Some food is naturally green.  I’ll leave it at that…

reach

FOUR:  I’m the kind of person who will always stop for a seemingly lost dog.  It’s an impulse.  Sometimes calling for the dog doesn’t work, especially if the dog isn’t socialized or is super scared about being out in the world alone.  Sometimes the dog does come when you call him.  There’s a very real freakout that happens when you call a seemingly lost German Shepard and they actually.come.running.at.you.at.full.speed.  Those five seconds that you watch a giant German Shepard running at you are very long seconds indeed.  Long… Maybe-I’m-about-to-be-mauled-right-now seconds.  Sidenote:  he was a nice German Shepard, he wasn’t lost, just wandering.  Super Sidenote: Praise God.

Cats aren’t as maul-y (in theory).

Hyphens are totally in style.

brittle and jam blonde brownies

FIVE: I saw a bad car accident happen right before my eyes this week.  It was totally unnerving and I think everyone is ok.  It was a very good reminder of all the ways that we collide into one another on a life-basis.  We collide.  I want to say it’s inevitable, but I’m not certain that’s true.

SIX:  I don’t think people know what they’re saying when they encourage me to ‘dance like nobody is watching’.  Seriously… do you know what that would look like?  It would look like me trying to booty clap in front of a mirror.  Oh gosh.  It would only be entertaining because I’m so so so far from actually being able to do it.  It’s harder than Calculus.  I just…

What’s it called when you talk about booty clapping on your food blog?  What’s it called…?  It’s on the tip of my tongue.

…. OVERSHARE!  That’s it.  Exactly.

img043

SEVEN:  Do we need to talk about how meteors are hitting the earth?  I know it’s been a few weeks since space rocks fell on Russia… but WHOA!

Do we need to talk about all the giant rocks that are out in space not hitting the earth and how that is a dang miracle?  Or should we just keep talk about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?

When in doubt (aka… when rocks hit the Earth) listen to your father.

Biscuits_005095

EIGHT:  Shine bright.  It makes a difference in the world.

I love you (not weird, just true).

xo joy

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Reader Interactions

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  1. Danica

    March 7, 2013 at 7:17 am

    PLEASE let’s get a word for the adding of water to the soap dispenser. DRIVES ME BONKERS.

    Reply
  2. Rachael Griffindor

    March 6, 2013 at 3:47 pm

    Girl, Twerk like no one is watching!

    Reply
  3. Leslie

    March 6, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    Dance like nobody’s watching? There is a reason I dance that way. Because nobody’s watching. Nobody needs to see that. When I feel the music, I feel it!

    Reply
  4. Seanna Lea

    March 5, 2013 at 11:36 am

    I try not to worry about my batter. I’ve been amazed before at how forgiving baking was for something so entrenched in science.

    Next weekend is hell night, when I turn your garlic bread into a super spicy (well, as spicy as bread flour and yeast can be) feast for our tongues. Yum!

    Reply
  5. Katie Madden

    March 5, 2013 at 6:12 am

    In our household we call the phenomena of adding water “the shampoo effect”, it can be done with shampoo and often it can happen after a big night of drinking. The tiniest bit of alcohol the day after drinking can make you feel like the residual alcohol expands in you and makes you feel drunk. Love the blog and love the podcast!

    Reply
  6. Chrystina

    March 4, 2013 at 10:08 pm

    I’m currently convinced I’m going to become an adult when I get a linen closet. And then when that happens, I’m sure it’ll be something else ridiculous, like when I have a lawn to mow or someone to do it for me. Glad I’m not the only person who dances like that in front of the mirror…. have a great week :)

    Reply
  7. Katie

    March 4, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    I used to teach high school and I always told my students that the true measure of adulthood was having to go to work to earn money and then use that money to buy your own toilet paper. Because nothing hurts as much as calculating how many hours you had to work that week to be able to buy something that you literally flush down the toilet.

    Reply
  8. Lady Jennie

    March 4, 2013 at 8:09 am

    Some kind-hearted person brought my puppy to the nearest vet when he escaped and they were able to contact us from the tattoo on his ear. THANK YOU for always stopping for lost dogs.

    Reply
  9. Crazy_Athens

    March 4, 2013 at 6:12 am

    Hi Joy!
    I’m sitting at my favorite cafe reading your blog while I eat a sandwich and this resulted in me accidentally spreading oregano all over my keyboard…
    To the point: This post made me want to tell you these things
    ? Each person has it’s own barometers. It doesn’t have to be a child.. In my mother’s group therapy, they told them that “In your life you have to give birth to something. Be it a child, a project you’re proud about, a recipie (a book!), etc…” (but I guess you know this one inside)

    ? I never understood the concept of “oversharing”. Hey! It’s your blog! Your space! If somebody feels uncomfortable with what you share here, well they can go somewhere else! Noone’s keeping them! If Bob Dylan or Dixie Chicks followed some peoples wimps we wouldn’t have some grate songs today!

    ? I really liked your doodles, Especially the last one. I can imagine it as wrapping paper (a very thin, tissue one)
    we like you for what you are! That’s why we’re here!

    Reply
  10. Julianne @ Beyond Frosting

    March 3, 2013 at 11:01 pm

    I didn’t want this article to end. So good and also I almost choked on my drink at the phrase “overshare”

    Reply
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  1. Of Road Trips and Adulthood says:
    March 11, 2013 at 6:33 am

    […] one of Joy the Baker’s recent posts, she lists off some of the commonly perceived barometers of adulthood: getting married, having […]

    Reply

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