Most ridiculous stories start with one of a few lines. “Remember our last night in Morocco…?” ย “So it seemed like a good idea at the time, but…” and “When I was eighteen…”
When I was eighteen.
I got this tattoo on my back on my eighteenth birthday. ย Fourteen years ago. ย My mom cried. ย No wait… she didn’t cry. ย She called me a masochist. ย I wonder if she remembers that. ย It made me wonder what she knew about masochism.
I got this tattoo on a whim. ย Mostly because I could and I did. ย No wait… it was more than that. ย I felt like the only way I could express my individuality was with a Japanese character ย I picked out of a plastic-coated tattoo artist book. ย I undoubtedly employed phrases like “this just feels right” to convince myself and calm the nerves of the best friend I coerced into ditching 7th period with me.
This tattoo is the first in a long string of impulsive things I could do and did do as an adult in the world… including but not limited to: dropping out of college before even starting, moving to Vermont with a single suitcase and $973, that one thing I did on that bridge, and all the ridiculous things my Dad should not know about, ever… thanks.
This tattoo isn’t really a Japanese character to me anymore. ย It’s a sign of this impulse that lives inside me. ย The impulse that packs up and moves to Miami. ย The impulse that runs recklessly through a thunderstorm (though one should never involve oneself with the words reckless and thunderstorm). ย It’s the impulse that totally knocked that drink out of your hand while we were dancing.
It’s the outward expression of I’m sorry/I’m totally not sorry.
On a scale of 1 to tacky…. it’s totally tacky. ย Let’s just be real. ย I’m sorry sometimes… but I take it back, because it’s just me.
You know what’s amazing?
When you add it all up. ย The moving here and there and there, the friends come and gone, the text books, the early morning baker’s hours, the scrapes, the scars, the dinners and drinks, and flights and fights.. the big loves, that thing on the bridge… when you add all up, it’s so weird that the sum of these parts is a bad tattoo, a cat, baguette, and this space on the internet.
I never could have known.
photos by lani trock
ps. ย The lip ring I had? … That’s a whole other Oprah.
182 Responses
This blogpost is absolutely stunning. I have been debating about getting a tattoo ever since I turned 18, when I knew I had the power to get one. I could have done it right on my 18th birthday, but there was something that held me back at that time – I was scared I was going to regret it in the future. Now, 11 months later, I finally accepted that I won’t regret getting any tattoo (I hope) on myself, because tattoos should be a form of art to express a kind of timeline about yourself. There will be a story behind it – can help remind you what you were feeling at the moment in the future or even in your case, no particular meaning at all.
Just giving my thoughts about a tattoo. I really can’t wait till I get mine soon.
Susan Loves…
Love love love. And I forgive you for not having a recipe to share on this one- great post. Bravo!
Your tattoo is beautiful and so is your story and so are you.
Gave me goosebumps :)
I too have an orange cat, so I couldn’t help but fall in love with the picture you posted. Funny AND adorable!
I love this, Joy. Our experiences make us who we are. This little insight into your life was fun to read. :)
This was wonderful! Not long ago I made impulsive decisions that forged a life that is stronger, more interesting, and helped me grow a hell of a lot more than the path others encouraged me to take. This post makes me long for the days I would strike out on my own and do what I felt was right. Thanks Joy!
what would make life real without being impulsive. It’s the way I’ve lived my most of my life, and I will never take back those moments. Good to hear from you side, as honestly can be a gem in the food blogging world!
I COMPLETELY understand the choosing a Japanese character at a young age when you think it’s a totally good idea:) But, I also don’t regret mine too much because my friends took me on my 20th birthday for a surprise 2nd tattoo. They blindfolded me, and pooled together their money to pay for it, and they were/are some of the best people I’ve ever known. It stands for Love (really!), and I got it about a month before I went to Ireland for a year. So even though I may have twinges about design choice, it reminds me every day of that time in my life:)
I, too, am a card-carrying member of the Sisterhood of Regrettable Japanese Tattoos. Except that I get bonus points for its location (just above the butt crack. I fancied it saucy at the time, but I was 18 and on spring break and hadn’t yet heard of the phrase “tramp stamp.”).
I once read something that compared the human life to an onion: as we grow, we just keep adding layer and layer and layer; all the older layers are always a part of us, even if they’re way deep or feel forgotten. I used to wince whenever I saw that tattoo in the mirror, but now it makes me think of that “layer” of my life, an important part of me, as are all the parts that have brought me to today.
I love your writing, Joy, and am glad that tattoo and the moves and the scars and that thing on the bridge brought you to this place on the internet! Because otherwise I wouldn’t have the recipe to what’s now my boyfriend’s all-time favorite cookie (Chocolate Peppermint Sandwich Cookies; they even beat out his mom’s Date-Spice Cookies, shh, don’t tell) and these lovely writings that I so look forward to.
i really appreciate this comment so so much1 thank you emily!
Love, love, love.
These words are great. It really is remarkable the life you get when you add all the crazy little and big moments and decisions together. And I am glad to see a cat has matched my love for a good baguette.
I love this! You brought meaning to something that didn’t really have meaning, esentially. And the cat/baguette picture! THANK YOU Joy, for making my night and giving me a good laugh! Awesome blog post! Night night!
I love this post so much.
Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks and worries about her dad reading about certain things…
I love your tattoo. I have a few myself. Though my tattoos were the result of some impulsiveness in my twenties once it was legal in Massachusetts.
At least you were brave enough to try a tattoo that you felt represented your journey into the unknown……and you did good from what I can see. You are an awesome blogger, and I love your passion for baking….like me!
Love this!
Funny! If I could go back- I would do it all again!
So beautifully written…
Amazing post! I couldn’t have said it better! Kudos to you and your embrace of the uncommon life!
I love this! You have a lot to be proud of, even if that tattoo isn’t one of them!
Tattoos for me have always been a time stamp. While I don’t love the ones I have all day everyday; I love that they’re like rings on a tree. I look at them sometimes and realize it’s been x amount years since I sat in that tattoo parlor.Then I think of all the good and bad that have come since that day and I always feel blessed.
You said it! I just listened to your vulnerability podcast…..talking about my tattoo would make me awfully vulnerability, I think it’s brave of you. Many hugs Ms. Joy!
This post resonated with me. Got a tattoo in the same spot and have the same feelings about it as you do. Thanks.
This post is so inspiring, I need more impulsive decisions in my life! Though I did do the impulsive-tattoo-at-18 thing and I don’t regret it one bit :) x
Hi Joy, after reading this post I couldn’t NOT comment because it is just too good. It’s the kind of writing I aspire to achieve and would love to continue reading all day if I didn’t have to go to work! Thank you so much for sharing your talent with our community, I can’t wait to keep reading.
You are the realest, quirkiest (in the best way possible) and all around most amazing gal in the blogosphere!
I really love reading all your posts, especially ones like these that speak so crisply and beautifully about life as it is. And every time I come to your site, I feel so at home, as if I’m just chit chatting with a close girlfriend. Thanks for the good reads and sweet recipes!
For my mom it was my bangs obscuring my eyes in my 10th grade photo (circa 1988). Really? Maybe she feared she was losing her “good girl.” Of what it was leading to, what it lead to. But I came out unscathed (and unpierced, and uninked, and unpregnant) and so if these little things (these marks) are what we have to remind us of those times (those awesome times–oh what she doesn’t know) then all in all I say we’ve done pretty well. And that our parents were successful in raising good, solid, upstanding kids–ink and bangs and all.
Thanks for sharing Joy.
I can so relate. My Japanese tattoo is getting in the car and taking spontaneous road trips with little money to do so about once a month. Call it a quarter-life crisis or whatever, but it’s changed me!
This is such a lovely post!! Thank you so much for the inspiration!! Beautiful, really…
All the best,
Noelle
you do know that this word kind of means your name too? this is such a sweet post.
I love this….like I love all your writing. Your words continue to inspire and encourage me. Never stop, okay? ;)
I was 2 months after my 18th birthday before I got the sun on my ankle. My mother called me a heathen. She doesn’t remember this and swears she must have been kidding.
I can say, nearly 20 years later (ugh), I don’t regret it. It is just a part of my terrain. A step. A thing I did.
Now, the one I got on my finger in December? I don’t know what to call that one yet…
What a beautiful post.
I did the exact. same. thing. on my 18th birthday. Except mine is a low back tattoo which I think makes it even more tacky and is a stupid design that means absolutely nothing to me. I’ll probably get it removed some day but for now it just reminds me of that carefree 18-year-old I once was. And maybe still feel like sometimes :)
Yep. Right there with you. Bad tattoos (plural), mom crying (still to this day–and I’m 35!), dropping out of college, lots of bad decisions… but we survived, turned out all right, and dang! if we don’t tell really good stories!
You really are such a joy, Joy.
heart heart.
I love this post :) You are a fabulous woman
We all have those things. If you didn’t, you wish you had them. You would always be saying, “remember when we almost….” And you would always wish you didn’t have to say the word almost. Because almost doesn’t teach you things, it doesn’t create memories and it doesn’t get you to the place you are right now. Thank the Lord for impulse.
When I turned 18, I got my tongue pierced… my mom just shook her head, and, after some blackmailing and threats from my brothers, I finally told my dad. His response was “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR G…D… MIND?!” Maybe I was a little bit, but it made me feel cool! I kept that darn thing til I turned 23 and got my first “grown up” job as a licensed Realtor/Realtor’s assistant, and felt like it was time. I got rid of my belly button ring then too, but that stupid thing never ever healed right and was perpetually leaning to the left and crooked. When I got divorced at age 25, I got my nose pierced because my ex always thought nose rings were tacky… I think we all have those moments in our lives where we need to feel a little bit rebellious & tacky.
Being completely honest. I’ve seen your blog a few times (via Tracy’s) and consciously avoided it; only because I didn’t want to follow another food blog. Staring at the yummiest recipes all day, during work. The frantic running around after work, looking for all the ingredients, -to cure my craving of the day. Avoided your blog until now. I fell in love; -with this post. Thanks a lot.
Your newest follower, ;)
-Lety
feed me Seymour!
I think one of the reasons why I appreciate you so much as a baker and as a blogger is that you’re so candid. You’re real, you’re accessible, and you present yourself in a way that basically says ‘take me or leave me.’ If I ever start a blog, I want my readers to be able to know me the way I’ve gotten to know you. You’re an awesome person, Joy! And this morning I made your single lady pancakes (from the cookbook) with peanut butter and honey…delicious!
I love when you do these kinds of posts. Thank you for being who you are, Joy :)
wonderful. thank you.
“Iโm sorry sometimesโฆ but I take it back, because itโs just me.” I love this. It’s kind of been exactly what I think these days. I think this sort of thinking/living scares the poop out of a lot of people. Keep being you. It sounds like it’s working out for you. :)
I rarely comment but felt I needed to this time. This was so beautifully written Joy! Now, if only we knew what happened on the bridge…
Thanks for this post. It was so sincere and well written. Made me think about myself, what I want to be like and how I want to spend my life.
May there be many more great impulsive moments ahead of you :)
I feel like this post was written just for me, as a dose of inspiration. I’m going to pretend it was. This was just what I needed to hear.. “I never could have known.”
Yes.
Beautiful post, Joy! Thank you for the sum of all these words!
The good thing is knowing that you’re not alone in the world, I see so many of those tattoos, usually on the back of the neck, and you can either be embarrassed or embrace it, either way it’s you! :)
I’m so into this post! We have impulse tattoos in common. Also, my mother was not happy either. Live and learn (or do what you want).
I have no physical evidence of my shenanigans… So, let’s just say, “It never happened”!
As a 21 year old, freshly graduated and currently planning a road trip from the College Park, MD to San Diego (which I hope to call home – fingers crossed), this spoke to me. I feel impulsive, yet guided. I also had a lip piercing for a whole 48 hours before it fell out and I became faced with the reality of why I really did it. And no, it did not make me a badass or make my ex any more attracted to me. You live and learn. This post explains that more eloquently than I knew possible. xoxo
At least you picked a “joyful” character for your impulses!
It is time you write a book; not just a cookbook, but a book book. I love your writing style and can imagine the story. Just do it.
Truth. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for writing these words which resonate so deeply with so many.
well written. we’ve all been there. I dig the message or the message I’m taking from this. celebrate your mistakes and/or craziness…it makes you who you are. amen.
Oh you kids! My daughter just had to get a tiny tattoo the minute she turned 18. Thought she was going to shock me with it, but she didn’t. She’s had 3 additions since and one correction that I begged her to get. My niece has a whole string of Chinese characters in a tattoo, we call it the recipe for chicken fried rice. I think I’ll get one when I turn 60, it’ll shock them. I like your thinking of “it’s the first in a long thing of impulsive things.”
Wow I love this! You are so inspiring :) xx
This post is love. Pure love!
That last picture is amazing haha
I have what is now so elegantly referred to as a tramp stamp. Although I like to argue it’s slightly too high up the back and not wide enough to be trampy–eeer… something like that. Really the best part is that I got a matching tatt with someone who I no longer I am friends with–even better right!? Oh well, decision made and it’s only as permanent as I am which I hope is for awhile longer!
Permanent Ink & Designs that Stink,
April Mae
Wow. your writing is just… blowing me away. I LOVE and got lost in the part where you began with, “When you add it all up.” That is just so perfect.
Joy – I just LOVE this picture of you feeding the cat. Love love love. I actually love most of your photographs (some are so beautiful they take my breath away!) and your stories, and the recipes are pretty awesome too. Keep up the great work!!
you are the coolest person, ever.
I’m your total opposite … I’m an over-thinker, planner and never-did-anything-spur-of-the-moment kinda girl.
I knew I read this blog for something…that cat…you just KNOW grumpy cat needs a successor…right? ;) At least you didn’t get a full on tat of satan and all his little minions inside a pentagram like my 17 year old niece did…now she is 25 and wears high neck shirts in 100F heat, impulse can be a biotch can’t it? ;)
I love your cat! and the fact that he/she “cooks” with you
I absolutely know what you are talking about. So true. Love this post…
I do also have a not bad, but sometimes regrettable, tattoo on my back. I love your post, because at the end Iโm also that โtramp stampโ survivor tattoo.
I don’t think you’ll ever regret that sweater, though! it’s super cute
I so get you. At 18 I also got a tattoo on my ankle. During a trip with friends I saw this tattoo place and wanted one asp. My friends thought I was crazy. Others thought it was bold. I got a red heart with threads all over. When my dad saw it he flipped. He told me it looked like a red mass on my leg. He was right. Was not the best tattoo. Still I liked the idea then of having a tattoo. Maybe to stand out from the crowd. So some years later i got a new one on top of the old. This time I chose something that represented me better. A key with a clover. Today, if I had a chose I would remove it. Hehehe. I understand now why parents warn their kids from getting tattoos.
Good post. Thanks for sharing
I am in love with this post, and the sum of all its parts. I think I’ll start blogging again. I don’t know why, but this post inspired me to do so. thank you.
Lovely little list of impulses.
Also I wish my family cat would eat a baguette. Wait, I’ve never tried that yet, so I bet he would. He acts like a dog anyways.
I’ve thought about getting a meaningful tatoo. To remind me of what I stand for or who I am, or something. But it’s nice to know that even your seemingly meaningless tattoo, has great meaning after all. Just something different than what it once meant.
Nee hee I love you because you’re so random and spunky – that’s why I love this blog! I always wonder what kind of a person (woah – creeper zone for realz sorry) you would be like in real life. I think it’s good to know who you are and identify with that. I also think it’s good to stay out of thunderstorms??? just saying – real life – spunky but smart! Hugs from the lightening capital of the world!
This is just lovely!!!
one of my favorite bands in the ’80s had the perfect song: the band was Poi Dog Pondering, the song: Thanksgiving (for Every Wrong Move). so glad you’ve landed where you’ve landed at this moment!
I got my first tattoo when I turned 50 . . . yes, 50! I figured that I was old enough to do what I wanted with my body by then. I got my second tattoo when my daughter turned 18 – mommy-daughter tattoos. Will she regret hers? I hope not. I don’t.
Love the pic of the cat and the baguette!!
So thought provoking!!!!!
WE can all identify with this post in one way or
another……………THANK YOU for saying it for
all of us.
Here’s to not knowing and many good years to come! Thanks for this Joy, absolutely beautiful.
you are ridiculously good at what you do.
i haven’t been to your site in a while, but hopped on over this morning. i’m in this in between of pure inspiration and envy! beautiful everything, joy! :-)
OMG I am in love with the picture of your cat eating the bread! So cute/hilarious/hey that’s not catfood!
wonderful. I just love this
You know, being impulsive by itself is not a bad thing. Unless it involves harm to yourself or others, being impulsive leads to adventures! Adventures, large and small, are what makes your life yours. Never regret your past. Someday when you are 83 and skydiving for the first time, you’ll be glad you are impulsive!
From a fellow adventurer!
Okay, who won the fight between cat and baguette? I’m guessing cat.
Sometime i wish i was a more impulsive type of person
I don’t have tattoos – i don’t like pain. At all. But my husband is “tatted up pretty good” as he would say. Among his many, are 3 Japanese symbols – one on the back of each bicep, and one in the exact same spot as yours. The arms are the names of our daughters (at least that’s what he thinks – he doesn’t read Japanese so I’m skeptical) and the back of neck one is for me – not my name, but “to give joy” in honor of me. I don’t love tattoos, and I really really really don’t want my daughters to get them, but I do love very much that my husband chooses to express his love for us in such a permanent, public and well, painful, kind of way. His are beautiful. Yours is too.
I love this post, joy! So true…I have holes left over from a few weird piercings that we don’t need to talk about that always remind me of my younger, crazier, days. Totally relate to this!
The measure of maturity, I think, is accepting the consequences of our actions–seeing both our failures and successes as part of a whole, neither as excuses nor self-aggrandizement. Well done, Joy!!
That is so beautifully said. Thank you.
oh my god
WHAT did you do on that bridge???
I got my first tattoo at 20, on my foot, partially because I wanted to and partially because my mom told me she thought i was too chicken to do so. i showed her! but i also showed me.
i think i may have said this earlier this week via text but i think that when we own our past, we stop feeling shame about it and start realizing that even those crazy weird impulsive moments can lead to the best things in our lives.
also, that photo of jules! AHHH! i miss his furry fluffy belly.
Amazing post. Seriously, amazingly real post :) thanks for the reminder that we are all human…and that’s what makes up who we are!
Your cat is my cat’s doppelganger. Does your cat get in the bathtub and act crazy, too? In any case, I’m glad he likes bread. That’s a good sign. Also: we all have a bit of that impulsiveness in us. Learning how to harness it is the key ;)
…You’re so blatantly honest, I love that. Funny how we’re worlds apart in age but still kindred spirits nonetheless.
…Thank you for this. Really. :o)
…Peace & blessings.
yes, just yes. :)
It’s all ok because it brought you to wear you are now, which I think is really, really great and I am so glad you have this amazing space on the internet!!!
I love these posts!! Thank you Joy!! :D
You are the best. Love this perspective.
What good words to read to start my day!
I didn’t know you lived in Vermont… I think I love you even more now! Where did you live?
I’m with everyone – this is fantastic :)
You know what else is fantastic? The cat /baguette photo!!
Our household cat will steal buttered toast in a heartbeat (we once fought a pitched battle over a mini cinnamon roll) and has claimed a lower cupboard in the kitchen for lurking purposes.
No tattoos. I just put a hole in my tongue at 16 whilst lying about my age to see if I could get away with it. Then I put a few more in my ears, my nose, and so the story goes. That’s one sexy and impulsive expression of Joy on your back. Also, I laughed out loud when you mentioned knocking the drink out of someone’s hand on the dance floor. I would never do that. Ahem.
I love your words, joy!
Love this. And I can completely relate.
I moved to New York when I was 18. I had no money. Just a credit card and some crappy wicker furniture. I got *DRAMA MASKS* tattooed on the small of my back, because I could (I probably couldn’t pay for it though, so I imagine it went on said credit card). A few years later, I had that covered with a large, awkward star.
I’m 31, and still paying for the credit decisions I made then. But, I’m hopefully about to buy a little house on a big lot with my wonderful husband. While it was a crazy road, I’m glad I took it to get here.
Still, last weekend I peed my pants in a thunderstorm.
Love your perspective on this post. Actually, we share that character in common. I’ve lived in China for 11 years, and ? is part of my Chinese name. It’s a Chinese character pronounced “yue” that means “joy,” though I’m sure you know that. At the very least, take comfort in the fact that it actually DOES mean what you probably thought it meant! I ran into a guy who had a tattoo on his neck that he was sure meant “wolf” but actually meant “pig.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him.
I loved this post, Joy!!! My mom saw my tattoo for the first time this year…after 8 years. I thought she was going to kill me, but she ended up loving it since it was a Persian saying that she had written out for me on my 18th birthday.
This is so genuine and refreshing. Thank you!
I did the same thing with an eyebrow piercing. Strangely, 10 years later, it’s still in place and I’m kind of afraid to remove it!
thank you thank you thank you for this post. i’ve got a celtic butterfly on my lower back from my own 18 year old moment of rebellion. like you, sometimes i regret it before remembering that it symbolizes a time in my life and a moment with a friend that was important to me. was it the most thought out decision for something permanently on my body? nope. but at the end of the day, it’s not such a bad thing.
And I feel it is this kind of adventurous life that makes good stories too when you look back at life :)
You are simply my hero, Joy. This post is so great. I want to be able to say more but I can’t really.
So much of me wants to be brave and pack a suitcase, like you did and just run to a bigger city and see what I can find. I really want that.
I’d also love a tattoo.
You’ve inspired me to be impulsive. I hope I act on this. Putting my business on the internet must mean I’ve got to commit, right?
I guess you don’t know if you don’t try. X
Love this piece. You always speak to a place inside my heart. Thanks.
I’m not a baker. At all. But, I keep coming back to your blog because I absolutely love your writing and the snippets of our life that you share.
I love this! Love being sorry/not sorry, and getting to the place in life where it’s ok to be “just me.”
Great writing
Amazing post!
This speaks to my heart!
A few weeks ago, I wrote about my very first, very impulsive tattoo and what it has grown to symbolize for me as well.
https://xoxolib.wordpress.com/2013/05/31/page-thirteen-sisters/
This post is just the bees’ knees, it truly made my day… I hope every teenage girl on the planet reads this and learns to celebrate their growing pains and stutter-steps… that’s where the best stories of growth come from. Better to have a life of “lol whoops!” than “I wish…”
We’re so obsessed with “our story” being clean and polished and wrapped up in an adorable Tiffany bow… oh pish! The coolest people I know blush and laugh and cringe and cry when they tell the stories. Honor your “mistakes” in baking, love, and everything in between…. after all, you made them all by yourself!
I’m a teenage girl! And I’ve read this! I so want to be brave and make some mistakes so that I can learn and have adventures now and I’ve been too scared to before! X
Amazing post!
And amazing cat.
this reminds me of that other part of your blog you used to have. love your writing and love you too, Joy.
I love this post! And I LOVE that pic of your cat!!! hahahaha. is he coming thru a window?! Anyway, your life is a sum of your experiences and you can’t have regrets….because they’re what made you who you are- which seems to be a pretty darn special person :)
All my impetuous decisions and wrong turns have led me to be present in the life I am living. My tattoos are a road map to this place. A life with no regrets is one not lived well. Love your post and your cat. Mine likes garlic bread the best.
What a beautiful post! So true that we could never know the things that will make us into the person we become.
I’m not a super impulsive person but I travelled for a year in a backpack on my own after a sad break-up from my college bf. I went all over Asia. I didn’t know where I would stay or where I would go on a daily basis. I just did what felt right, I went where my heart told me…. In a sense I guess that was impulsive. I loved that I left as a heart broken college grauate and came back as confident woman ready to take whatever was given to me. Some of our best lessons in life are ones that are the hardest to go through. Now as a mother of two daughters I can appreciate all their life’s trials and tribulations because I know they will learn something from them…. Or, at least i can hope! ………Peace, JOY, and understanding. : )
Beautifully said.
I just love, love, love the pictures of your cat. So much character!
I love this post. Makes me just want to keep the old tattoo I got on an impulse at 20.
Now, I’m curious about that thing on the bridge.
love this post!
I love this post.
I love this. I feel the same way….about all the impulsive things I’ve done. Some days I can be practical to a fault, but inversely I’m totally spontaneous and I most definitely act on emotion. I wouldn’t say that’s bad, in fact, more often than not I think it’s a large part of what drives my relationships with other people. Posts like this are so refreshing and real. Thanks :)
Ooooh, I have one of those, too! A “tramp stamp”, just to make things worse. And it is a fairy on a mushroom. Which I meant to get colored in but then never did, and now it’s 12 years later and it’s so blurry and weird and definitely embarassing, but I’d never get rid of it because 1) it’s a memorial to a friend who died and 2) it’s part of me. It meant something and so what if it’s cheesy, it’s part of the weird stuff you do in order to become the person that you are 12 years later. It’s a moment and a memory and a memorial and a bunch of other things, probably things that start with m. Love you for posting this and having a similar weird bad awesome tattoo story.
Could not love this post more. I feel the EXACT same way about the tattoo I got at 18 (a butterfly on my lower back – only a smidge more cliche than yours). You captured the sorry/I’m not sorry feeling entirely. Sometimes I feel like a dummy when, well, anyone mentions the term “tramp stamp” because I am SO not that person, but now it just makes me smile and serves as a constant reminder of exactly how I was feeling in that moment in life, and not many things can claim to do that.
I got my tattoo – a four-leaf clover – when I was 30. And my dad had a similar reaction – he told me never to do that again. And I haven’t. And even at 30, I had the same reasons as many do at 18 – because I wanted one and could get one. A great reminder of who I was and who I was to become.
This makes me happy, I’m glad you wrote this because it reminds me that everything we do, even if we look back and think “oh goodness why did I do that?” all of those moments have brought us to here, to now and to who we are today! They shape us, teach us and move us and make us – us!
Oh, I have been there, too! Sounds like our early adult brains operated on the same wave length even (tats, college, heading cross-country will few possessions and even less money)… I often think how all those ill-advised impulses all got me to where I am now, though, and I don’t regret a thing!
Really great post :)
Way to embrace who you are! Love it!
I’m really sad today. I have not reached this place where everything is ok. I reflect back on my life and the stupid things I have done and I can only hope that someday it will be worth. Not there yet…
that was great. we all have that japanese tattoo in some way or another! and um, the cat + baguette is incredible.
All of these things just prove how you a delicious bowl of Neopolitan ice cream in a world of plain vanilla!
Thank you for sharing.
With rebellion comes mercy.
With mercy comes grace.
With grace comes redemption.
With with redemption comes gratitude.
With gratitude comes giving.
With giving comes joy.
Joy because we don’t deserve where we ended up with all the impulses that were improperly placed but those messes make us humble, make us real, make us love others right where they are just how they are. Because we’ve been there too.
God is good to share, share his love through our rebellious testimonies. Not fair, but so so so cool. :)
You inspire me. Thank you.
This was just so gorgeous. It’s that bit of bohemia that’s in some of us. It’s my
moving to Taiwan
then moving to NY
then moving to Taiwan
then moving to Paris
then moving to NY (this in 4 consecutive years)
then getting married and moving to Africa
then having babies and moving to France
… and that thing in the mountains. ;-)
Now it’s my life in a hobbit house outside of Paris, 3 kids and a dog, and that blog I have.
Let’s celebrate the impulse that got us here! :-D
Thanks for your post Joy. I’ve spent years regretting my own “got it when I was 18 tattoo” which is a Celtic knot I chose from the book solely because it was cheaper than the more elaborate Celtic design I really wanted (yes cause THAT’S when you should bargain shop!) on my arm right where “Bjork has hers please”. I know I could get it removed or tattooed over with something I actually like but I don’t because I can’t bear to spend the money when there are things like leaking basements, vet bills and car repairs at the head of the line.
I’m going to try and let it go – life is too short to worry about this tattoo anymore. Thank you for inspiring me.
Beautiful writing.
I love this post. I have a cat that eats bread too. Sometime if you’re bored, put a few drops of hot sauce (like Tabasco) on a piece of bread or pizza crust and leave it where he can get to it. Then sit back, watch and giggle uncontrollably.
I got my first tattoo when I was 29, and it was *very* premeditated. My mom actually said that I was old enough to know better – lol!
Not really about a tattoo but I was having a very similar conversation this morning. All the bad decisions I have made over my life that I could regret… well they led me to here and I wouldn’t exchange any of that for a few “correct” decisions.
Once again Joy, you have managed to sum up my mood with your well crafted words. x
What the heck happened on the bridge?
Great post!
I am impulsive too, I feel like it’s in your blood or it’s not.
I don’t have a tattoo but I have that hole above my bellybutton where I had to get a piercing.
Love these personal posts.
xo Quinn
Quinn Cooper Style
Um…how much do I love that picture of your cat? But more seriously, I love these kinds of posts and it is interesting to think about how we got where we are today.
What an interesting (and timely) post.
Your mother’s reaction was mine just a few months ago when my 28 year old “child” showed me tattoos that he had been kept in secret for over a year.
My consolation to self was that they would not be visible in a professional setting.
In light of your post, a see those tattoes with a new set of lens.
Thanks!
I love reading your posts but this one in particular I LOVED. To be honest I think there’s a tacky tattoo and a surpressed impulse that hides inside the most of us. Every now and then it rears its ugly-but-amusing-only-years-down-the-line… head. Here’s to the impulse that makes us who we are. Cheers for sharing.
I did the tattoo at 18 as well. My mom didn’t talk to me for a week. Ha!
And only your cat would eat bread…I love it!
I love your honesty Joy. It is lovely that you let people get to know you better. You are truly an amazing baker – all the more so because you are so accomplished at such a young age. I admire you.
I think everyone can relate to this post. I was a bit late compared to most rebellious teenagers. I got my first tattoo (on the tops of my feet!) when I was 24. It was a little less impulsive than I might tell people, though. I am not entirely sure I’m capable of impulsivity!
Such a good post. And such a lucky cat with that bread :)
Awesome, I love you impulses and wish I was a little more that and a little less boring! LOL
Hey, you picked a good character for the tattoo… an eponymous one at that!
Lovely.
Love this.
You can never know. And that probably is the best part of our life. Beautiful post.
Thank you for this! I got my tattoo at 16 and hate it now. I did it to prove I was brave and an individual. I like hanging onto that symbolism instead of feeling regret that I did something stupid!
Amazing post, Joy! Love your writing
this is probably one of my favourite posts you’ve written!
we should all live and do things just because we can.
2013 has been all about living on impulse for me after I managed to end my horrible, turbulent relationship. I have now booked a one way ticket to Bangkok to travel with my best friends for 6 months+ through South East Asia and Australia – all on impulse!
Life is too short not to be impulsive.
Natasha xx
Ps. I have an impulsive tattoo from when I was 16 but I can look at it and smile because it too symbolises that ‘i can do what i want’ mentality.
Lovely post, Joy! Could totally relate to it! Doing things just ‘coz I could!
Thanks for sharing :)
beautiful
The first thing I did when I turned 18 was get more piercings on my ears (adding a few more holes to the first two I got when I was five). My parents were totally strict and wouldn’t dare sign the papers that required a parent/guardians’ signature. So I had to wait til 18. Nice post!
Love the post. I got my first tattoo when I was 16 for reasons similar to what yours were. Because I could. And have had gotten a steady stream ever since, including work done to my half sleeve as recently as 6 mos ago.
But everything you wrote about being impulsive, doing things on a whim at times, and never could have known…yes, I can definitely relate and I’m sure most people can. I always love these posts with glimpses into your life, Joy. Thanks for sharing :)
I love your philosophical posts.
I love your food.
I just love you.
It’s another story and part of the journey.
Wonderful. I’m happy that you feel that you are in a good place.
Hi Joy! I just discovered you a few days ago, and I love your site!! Great post!
Greetings from Barcelona!!!
You are in for a treat! My favorite blog to read!