Listen guys… I’ve been in this blogging game for a long long time. Six years? I basically know everything there is to know. Nothing is new… except everything is new once in a while. Blogging is easy! I’ll show you how to do it.
10 Quick, Easy, Gluten-Free, Paleo, Salted Caramel Tips To Be The Best Food Blogger On The World Wide Web.
You’ll just need a few of the items listed below and a big happy smile that never leaves your face ever ever. Let’s go!
1. A piece of marble pastry slab is the key to success. It’s the best way to fake a fancy marble countertop when you’re really just working on tragic tan tile counters. These Ikea dish towels with the classy red stripe say hipster chic all the way . You’re also going to need something gold, a glass spoon of some sort, and something with a feather on it… just go with it. In general, buy every kitchen linen you come in contact with. You’re going to need it.
2. All wooden items on your food blog must be worn and dilapidated, preferably from an old barn. Spoons must be tarnished and rusted. It’s true that you might not want to eat rust or splinters, but at least it looks really cool. The plan always is to look really cool. Never forget.
3. Consider getting engaged, having a baby, or getting a kitten. This will do wonders for your food blog!
See: Tuna Catnip Kitty Treats. Adding a major life event or small furry animal to your blog will allow you to discuss every single detail with your readers. They’ll love it. Seriously. Don’t skip a single detail.
4. If one cookie looks good in a photograph, a stack will look uh-mazing.
See: Buttered Popcorn Chocolate Chip Cookies. Just stack absolutely everything. You can’t go wrong. See: Spinach Artichoke Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.
5. Pinterest. Don’t fight it. Create Pin-able pictures that are the length of a football field. People will pay attention. By ‘pay attention’ I mean that no one will ever get annoyed and most people will want to high-five your cleverness. Re-pin!
6. Do not, under any circumstance, post a picture of your kitchen that doesn’t look Pinterest perfect. There should be wood, white shelves, a marble counter, and not a single dirty dish in sight. Hide all shame, especially the giant jar of Metamucil. No one has ever pinned Metamucil.
7. Shoot it on the floor or stand on a stool. Tripod? Ppfffttttt. Not in this house! Sidenote: always consider throwing in wildly patterned (MC) Hammer pants. Second side note: get a farm table or you can’t play in this game at all.
8. Use a mason jar and a paper straw every chance you get. Better yet… incorporate someone’s hands holding a mason jar. Even better yes… a child’s hands holding a small mason jar. Better than that even… kitten paws holding a mason jar. Perfection achieved.
9. Talk about browned butter as often as possible.
See: Pumpkin Pecan Scones with Brown Butter Glaze Also see: Brown Butter Baked Doughnuts Also see: Brown Butter Banana Bread.
Yes. It’s really important.
10. Above all else, take yourself very seriously. Also try to please exactly every person on the Internet. This will ensure that everyone will like you and no one will make fun of you or have a single bad thing to say about you. This is your task. Don’t worry, your blog will basically write itself once you get started.
This post is sponsored by: SARCASM and April Fools’ Day. All opinions expressed are my own and please don’t listen to them as they are 100% ridiculous.
Ana A
Love these great tips! Thank you for sharing!
Charlotte
I have been trying to muster the courage to begin my own food blogging journey recently but I keep stopping myself from taking the leap because I am scared I’ll fail. This was an hilarious read and has made me feel much better about giving it a go! What’s there to lose?
Emma Brown
I am a blogger and running a Chinese restaurant in New York. These are some really good tips for food bloggers. Thanks for this and keep posting.
Jessica_NourishedbyNutrition
I just read this (yes, a year and a half later) and was laughing out loud! Thanks for making my night!
Nicola Brown
Oh this is hilarious!
I struggle with so many of these ‘trends’ but somehow also find myself helplessly and mysteriously incorporating them on my blog. It’s like some zombie takes over once I open up the dashboard and posts on my behalf (maybe this is what you mean when you say the blog will basically write itself?).
Oh and it is genius that you got the photo of the cat with its paw in the jar, Would it be possible to please try a little harder and get the cat actually holding up a smoothie jar and drinking from a stripey straw?
Sarah Trafford
you are amazingly hilarious. this was the best!
Mandy Rivers
Oh! Oh, my! I’m not even sure how I landed on this post but I’m so glad I did. HI LAR I OUS ! ! ! I’m off to get more kittens and some MC Hammer pants tout de suite! I KNEW I was missing something!
Kristi @ Inspiration Kitchen
This was actually LOL funny and I loved the read!!!
iWildWoof
You’ve completely fooled me. I was just ready to go to the store to get a farm table, a bunch of vintage-y silverware, and a slab of marble. Lucky you had that disclaimer at the end! Although, I must admit, I do like the idea of getting a kitten… too bad I already have three! (:
Tashiana
Number 3 left me in total stitches!! Definitely one of those unsaid things which every food blogger too young to do do either of those things has thought at some point! But even so, this entire post was 100% hilarious and well written! Deffo gonna be coming back to this a lot!
Aino
This was funny to read, but seriously, were the 10 tips a joke? :-) I’m really looking for great blogging-advises, and I thought these tips were super-great. I mean, this is really how great bloggers do it, isn’t it? Don’t you? :-)
Courtney {FitCakes}
I love you, Joy. Of course, only in the best of ways. Your advice is definitely working, at least on your site! That’s basically the reason I love your blog so much. Keep on killin’ it!
Pardon My French
kitten paws holding mason jars – brilliant! loved, loved, loved this post. Anything sponsored by sarcasm wins in my book!
Chris J
Highly larious, this. Unfortunately, or fortunately, it is awfully close to the truth. I have an ikea kitchen which is nice but its in a constant mess with not enough shelves, etc. I strive toward honesty in my blogging, though it could use better images (my kitchen has the worst lighting Ever)
Mel
That’s some funny stuff you did there. I enjoyed it …and those food shots … they’re incredible!
adrienne
Fantastic!
Elke - Les Mains dans la Farine
Firstable, sorry for my english. Usually, I read your posts without leaving any comment because my english is really very-very bad. But this time, I had to do it : I was laughing, alone in my kitchen, reading your post on my lab-top, just like a small girl one was talking a joke to ! (Oooh, is that english ?). It was really funny to read it ! Thanks for this good moment :)
Kita (@passthesushi)
Oh snap. I have been doing it all wrong. I’m going to go kidnap the neighbors kids for a few weeks to refocus and totally define my niche. ;) Love those MC Hammer pants.
jessica matier (@AW2SL)
Wow, I AM gullible…at first I was like “what the hell was she on when she wrote this post”…then…4/1. Ok. very good…
Michelle
I never thought they were marble slabs, just a whole marble table top. You liar, you. :)
Evie
How do you create a website/blog? Even better, is this a template or something, I love the style. If anyone knows where to get templates (I don’t really know how it works so whatever you bloggers call it;) that would be awesome!
karin @ heart.love.weddings.
You forgot to mention you must stalk the weather channel for sunny days. And only sunny days. :)
Erica Lea | Buttered Side Up
I was dying as I was reading this, Joy! You hit the nail on the head. Thanks for a fun post – reminds us to laugh at ourselves. :D
Liz Queenlila
hahah! this made me smile!
Leslie - Definitely Not Martha
Kale, brown butter or overnight oats. Put them together – à la brown butter kale overnight oats (and then make it vegan) and you’re pretty much guaranteed to go viral. lol I’ve been food blogging since 2005. I don’t do most of these things, which is obviously why I am not huge on the internet.
Cecile
I loved this post – as always!! And I also loved those special M.C. Hammer pants !! ; o ) PS Your photos are always AWESOME !!
Robin
Great tips! I’m not a food blogger and have no intentions of being one…..maybe you can create a post on how to be a great fashion blogger too – start with the trick of taking a picture with the toes of your shoes pointed inward.
Simone
Lol… Totally love this… And so true…:)
Jenny @ The Brunette Baker
I mutha futha love this post. This is why you’re so kick ass.
Francesca
Bahaha! Love this! :)
Anne (@fANNEtasticfood)
This is so amazing. That is all. :)
Rachel H
I love this post! And your pictures are beautiful.
http://sunkissedrayy.blogspot.com/
tracy
joy you are just everything! thanks for putting a smile on my face!
Yolanda Ott Breidenbaugh
I’ll let you know when I can breathe again.
Sosae
Hahahaha! How brave of you to even MENTION the Metamucil! Lots of admiration, esp. from a girl who’s been chugging that stuff like Tang, since she was 15. :D
Meredith
And for years I thought you actually had a marble table – well done!
chera
This may be one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. Love it! You’re the best Joy!
Bonnie
Hilarious! I love it!!!
cheyenne
haha love this :)
xo, cheyenne
Julia
Hi Joy – so funny, and all true. Food bloggers especially have to take themselves not too seriously. I’d write more but I’m heading out to gather feathers off a dead seagull, my supply is low. Happy baking :)
chetours
Haha so funny!
cookingactress
lol!!! perfect!
sandra
so true, so true
Anna
Fantastic :) Thanks for the smile today!
Cate @ Chez CateyLou
I love this, Joy! You are so funny and I love your writing style!
Courtney @ Neighborfood
This cah-racked me up! Especially kitten paws holding a mason jar. But seriously though…that might break the Internet.
danielle
love this!!
Kristin
I love this so much! You made me smile, Joy.
Barry C. Parsons
You, my darling, rock. Post of the year.
Meg
Golly but I loved this.
Keeping it real JTB xx
Anne
You are so adorable.
Amelia
So funny. “No one has ever pinned a jar of Metamucil” :) brilliant.
Sara from Texas
There is nothing April Fool’s about it. This list could not be more true.
cmgifford
e-gads! Miss Joy, you have EIGHT cookies stacked. right on. you rock! Did you never learn [sigh] from your close friends that you should never EVER do a photo shoot with an even number? I am sorry, but you have violated your Oath, and all hell will now fall loose. ;) bad lighting. bad! bad!
nowathome
You really made my day!! Love it!!!
lidia
hilarious and on point!
Chichi
Those ikea dish towels are very popular. I’ve had a good laugh
Connie | URBAN BAKES
Ok I have to say, I’ve never written a comment on your blog (I’m just too lazy), but this here is comment-worthy. It’s HILARIOUS!! Although what you’ve said was playful sarcasm, most of the tips are very true for bloggers. Idk why people go crazy with browned butter-everything and they loooove those “behind the scene-shots” and those damn straws-I’ve had enough of those but I do like my marble slate. I think it makes me look fancy- Ha!
Love this post; it just made my night!
drea
amazing.
Sheri
What about head-on shot of two hands holding a cup of flour/sugar/raisins/almonds/three eggs? So precious. So twee.
I love you more than ever now, BTW.
Celia Becker
Tongue in cheek, foot in mouth, cats got your tongue. How does one blog in that condition?
Zainab @ Blahnik Baker
Hahahha great tips Joy! I saw this in my mailbox this morning and made a mental note to read beodee the end of the day. Perfect before bed reading :)
Terry Covington
I have to run and tell my mom that all the, um, stuff in her basement would make great props for food styling! My grandmother, who basically hoarded it all during the Great Depression, must have been prescient. . . .
Greg
Loved it. Thank you for making me laugh at the end of a long day.
fusilliamy
this is why i love you, jtb.
Kristy
Very well written post. A+ on sarcasm!
Laura (Tutti Dolci)
Absolutely love this, best thing to read at the end of a long Tuesday!
Sophia | An Ode To...
LOL!!! Oh, oh, wait …and how would you forget the music notebooks laying under the cupcakes or the old printing press letters placed for some weird reason on the napkins or the soup plates… ;)
Micheline @theminiaturemoose.com
I died picturing kitten paws gripping a mason jar. Died.
Paula
I’m getting a kitten ;)
CakePants
Just the right balance of seriousness and sarcasm – hilarious! When I first started blogging, I was actually convinced that everyone had a rustic picnic table in their backyard, and couldn’t figure out how, since half of them seem to live in NYC.
Kevin | keviniscooking
Joy this is pretty darn funny, but true! Oh, and don’t forget to mention kale and quinoa or something paleo. LOL, thanks – the kitten paws holding a mason jar got me rolling.
Heidi
Rusty old spoons, Mason jars, paper straws, and an old rickety table…check check check check. Maybe NOW my little Alaska food blog will take off! Priceless entry, and SO TRUE! And yet I’m still a sucker for a Mason jar…
Pure Ella
Cute child’s hand holding mason jar. Check!
White kitchen with wood. Check!
Pregnant! Oh my ;) Check!
Rusty cutlery. Check!
Still need some marble slab, a barn table and a kitten!!! ;)
OMG I love you for this!!! Needed the laugh ;) lol
JoannaBee
HEY! I have those Ikea dish towels and I’m no hipster ;o) VERY funny…I ???? JtB…
joythebaker
you might have hipster tendencies. i speak from experience.
bakerkat
LOL I knew it could not be serious. Great April Fool’s Day prank.
Esther - Pimpante
My smile got bigger and bigger when I got further and further down this list
Angela
I love this sooooooo much. And now I am off to buy a kitten and a farm table.
joythebaker
as you should.
Megan
Kitten paws holding a mason jar! I love it!! hahaha
Barb | Creative Culinary
Crap. I didn’t know the rule was to get a kitten so I adopted a neurotic adult cat. He is not willing to come out of hiding much less allow me to take cute photos of him. I’m taking him back!!
Susan Brinson
I love you. That is all.
Cathy Shambley-Baer (ShowFoodChef)
Brilliance as usual, but particularly enchanting and hilarious today!
DessertForTwo
This totally just made my day. I’m so guilty! Bring on metamucil photos. I can take it :)
Tamara
Browned butter brownies. My favorite alliteration.
The Dragon Hunter
Totally thought you were serious down to the kitty paws holding the mason jar. Perfection
Chris at Hye Thyme Cafe
My pictures are more like Where’s Waldo … no metamucil in the background, but you’re likely to find a cup of Dunkin Donuts coffee somewhere lol.
Bonnie
“Better than that even… kitten paws holding a mason jar. Perfection achieved.”
This is awesome. The entire post is hilarious, but this is the best.
Helen @ Scrummy Lane
I thought the best ever April Fool’s ‘thing’ was the BBC news report about spaghetti growing on trees in Switzerland, but I’ve changed my mind now … this ‘takes the cake’! Ha! Now I’m off to think up a brown butter recipe as I’m feeling a bit inadequate about the fact that I haven’t got one yet. ;-)
Isadora
This is hilarious! On a serious note, I’m off to take some photos of my cat holding a mason jar.
joythebaker
a very serious note indeed.
Katrina @ WVS
Bahaha I could tell you were kidding at point one….but seriously, put your kitten on an old piece of wood holding a mason jar with a pretty straw in it. Totes makes sense.
Meg
This is fantastic. The mason jar with paper straw is my absolute favorite though!
Jennifer S @Sterling Sweets
Incredible. Love your sense of humor. Thanks for brightening my day!
Sammi Sunshine
Love this! I never understood the rusty spoon thing… It has no appeal when paired with food.
EBK Riley
I’m totally pinning this whole awesome post! Love a girl who can laugh at herself. You rock!
Kendra A.
“No one has ever pinned Metamucil.”
Can every day be April Fools Day? Because this is the best post ever.
Brooke
How fun. I’m so glad I have a puppy. I definitely need to use him more in my blog. Thanks for the tip! :)
Mary Hirsch
I am so hooked on your Blog (maybe, perhaps, kinda, because my daughter went to Tulane Law School and I L-O-V-E NOLA. Because I have a blog, forgetting this was April Fool’s Day, I took all this seriously and was on the phone purchasing a cat before getting to the end. I don’t particularly like cats – I’m a dog person – so Kitty, Kitty, Kitty is on its way to you in NO. Serious not kidding.,
Bianca @ Confessions of a Chocoholic
You’re amazing. Love this!
Bee @ camera in tow
You’ve just made my day. I can’t stop laughing! And now I want a marble slab and a kitten.
Maria
Don;t think I will bother pinning a picture of my kitchen then .Great blog I really enjoyed reading what you had to say .
Kat
Someday, if/when I ever visit NoLa, I need to meet you. I promise to bring treats ;-)
littlespicejar
I own a million at one of those ikea towels. and the marble board. And about 10 other things in this post. Now to get a baby or a cat.
P.S Kitties and mason jars would totally sell.
Erin @ The Spiffy Cookie
Love this post!
Taylor
Dying over this! Seriously had me cracking up at my desk! Thank you for the much-needed laughs today!
xoxo
Taylor
Angela
Very funny and very true……..but you missed out the blue plastic spoons and casually placed green shoots…….
marisa
Joy love all the tips….I hate to burst your bubble although you intention was sarcasm this post actually infuses only wit and charm!!!!!
Thanks for sharing – I need to find a feather and funky comadina pj’s!
Robyn
Brilliant! X
viviana@bonheurcuisine
I´ve been reading your blog for a looooong time and you always make me laugh. But this time it was the kind of laugh that made me want to comment. You´re awesome Joy, thanks for sharing all your wit and recipes! Love your way of blogging!
Cookin Canuck
Love it, Joy! We are a strange bunch, aren’t we?
Lori
Ha, this is great!! One of the best April Fool’s posts I have seen all day! Now, you just need to re-do this post next week with sincere tips. I would love to hear all of your advice!
Erin | The Law Student's Wife
Joy, I’m grinning like a Cheshire, my co-workers are staring, and I couldn’t be more pleased. LOVED this. For real, no April Foolin’, love it.
ashbethlaugh
BEST post ever. Especially about the kitten paws holding a mason jar….I love your humor.
Heather @ French Press
made my day!
Lisa | Je suis alimentageuse
Hahahah I love this! Shared on my fb page. I was wondering when people were going to bring up the fact that every blogger has a marble slab, paper straws, and mason jars.
Choclette
Haha, great post. 1st April Fool I’ve come across this year.
deborah mele
So totally what most folks think they need to do to become popular which is VERY sad. I have been blogging 12 years and am amazed to see some blogs become superstars while others that are breathtaking get hardly any atention.
Anne
There’s more truth in this one post than in the entire world. And can we start writing anti-kale posts? I wonder if “Death to Kale” would get some attention? It’s time Swiss Chard got the same kind of love.
Thanks for your brilliantness. I know that’s not a word but it is now!
joythebaker
chard love!
Joy
hahaha! thanks for the laugh today :)
Mimi
Oh my goodness…….I really wanted to start taking notes. You made my day! Your name is so appropriate!
gottagetbaked
Omg Joy, this made my day! I’ve been bitten by a major case of the envies lately over how fabulously everyone else’s blog is doing and looking at my pitiful kitten-less, rusty-utensil-free blog and thinking “why not meeeeeeeeee?!” This post made me laugh and appreciate that my blog is the perfect representation of myself. I especially loved the line about kitten paws holding a little mason jar. I actually laughed out loud, literally!
munchy
number 3 made me realize that this was sarcasm and to the end it was awesomely written hahaha made some great points
Rebecca
You are awesome. That is all!
Kelli H (Made in Sonoma)
Oh god, there are so many truths to this. Loved it!
Mariana McEnroe
You just wrote my ode to these painful vintage eatery. Your post It’s hilarious! True will set you free!!! No more vintage looking food please!!!!!! Lol! Who eats like that any way right?….let’s start a campaign of no more torturing food! You are awesome. Thanks for the laugh!
Gabriella
Love your work! Hilarious!
Arthur in the Garden!
Cute!
Lisa
Very helpful and I love some of the foody pics
L x
http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
la papillonista
Great sense of humor <3
Beth
Please let April be the month in which Metamucil lurks in the background of every Joy the Baker post.
joythebaker
hahahahhaha. not a chance.
fabiola@notjustbaked
My favorite is the have a baby, get engaged gig. Never of which will be occurring any time soon, or ever lol. I think we all needed this, so thank you. Seriously.
Tina
There we are – no cat & no person to hold a mason jar! Guess its a sign to get pregnant & a cat both a reason to move to a farm …
I love your april fools post
Elizabeth
Brilliant. I didn’t put it together with April 1st until I got to the end but I did get the “tone.”
pinkpatisserie
Truer words have not been spoken, or er, unspoken.. Hilarious.. I love it!
Kerrie
Haha! This is the best.
Edlyn
Haha, oh Joy. Don’t know about Ikea but people in Goa have been using hipster towels for centuries. You forgot enamel bowls! Or is it enamelware?
Amanda @ Once Upon a Recipe
ha ha, i love you! i especially love tip #3.
petiscos e miminhos
ah ah ah, I just loved this post so much :))
happy april fools’ day
Karla @ Foodologie
Haha! #3 “Consider getting engaged, having a baby, or getting a kitten. This will do wonders for your food blog!” Made me laugh out loud only because it’s sort of true.
EVERY.SINGLE.BLOGGER is newly engaged, or newly inseminated, or has a cute dog or cat.
(P.S. this is not me being jealous. it’s a reality)
Sophhdawg
You are AWESOME, love your baking blog <3
Rebecca
Oh dear joy, this is by far your best post ever :’D love sarcasm!! Keep going ;)
Lisa
Oh, this definitely needs to be a thing now! #kittenpawsholdingamasonjar
Rebecca Eats
oh Joy! This made my day! I laughed so hard picturing kitten paws holding a tiny mason jar. Thank you, I needed this!
holly waterfall
You are brilliant. Thank you so much for both the laugh and the reminder. As a fellow food blogger, I totally get it and chuckled at every point. I definitely fall into these traps and need to find my way out, my own style, and my own voice. Pinterest is a total killer of creativity. I know that sounds backwards but we are all starting to think we need to be Pinterest-worthy to be successful.
Dannii @ Hungry Healthy Happy
Hahaha absolutely loved this!
Nandita
The kid or the kitten holding the mason Jar was too good!!! LOL!!
Mama B
Gah! My wood is too new looking. I own no marble. My cutlery isn’t tarnished. I don’t have cute straws or awesome pants! And my cat is too old to hold a mason jar. I knew it. My blog is doomed.
Thanks for the laugh. :)
Vicky
hahaha! excelent post! and very true !!! :D
Melissa @ Treats With a Twist
See salted caramel stuffed shadow-laden scones with a crumbly side of bruleed flower petals…
Loved it!
Sara
I was having a down morning and came here for a little sunshine. Thanks for my frown turned upside down :)
Tammie
OMG this had me laughing so hard! I love your posts and have to agree about brown butter…LOL. You started my day off right so THANKS for that Joy!
Strawberry Pie
Thanks, Joy!
So happy about the hammer pants and kitties.
Can’t touch this.
Theamclain
I love this. I think your blog is uh-mazing. My sister got to meet you at a book signing a few years ago, and now that I’m a regular reader of your baking-meets-blog-meets-perfection blog, I’m so jealous of her! Hope NOLA is fab.
Aimee Wimbush-Bourque
Hilarious!! Best read of the week. *sigh of relief for my farm table and Clara’s pudgy hands for holding stuff*
Christine aka happyvballgirl
OMG?! Are you SERIOUS!?!? What kind of advice is this? Not everyone can afford a farm table! This post totally sucked!!!! lol. April Fools!! Absolutely LOVED this post!! Your pictures are freakin’ GORGEOUS and that’s no joke. Thanks for the laugh, today, Joy! And happy April Fools to you! :)
joythebaker
we all know that if you can’t afford a farm table you can’t afford a blog.
Christine aka happyvballgirl
just took down my blog. thanks a lot.
Conni
Love these suggestions! You’re an amazing food blogger. Thank you for sharing these great tips.
ragdoll
Love you!^^
Katie (Veggie and the Beast)
Ha! You crack me up. Happy April Fools Day!
Dale
love the post (although not the hammer pants). In number 3 you forgot to add “go through a breakup”. sad life event drama = readership skyrocketing!
joythebaker
get with the hammer pants and then we’ll talk.
KeeleyMcGuire
HILARIOUS. I need to train a kitten to hold my mason jars… but blast! Darn allergies. Hmm, maybe a hypoallergenic puppy? ;)
Renee Shuman
All of this = hilariousness. The “get a farm table or you can’t play in this game at all” and mason jar + paper straw bits made my lol all over the place. there really are so many arbitrary food photo fads out there — love that this article points out some of the ridiculous whilst making us laugh.
Elyse
Love it!
Joanie @ ZagLeft
So funny! I can’t get the image of kitten paws holding a mason jar out of my mind.
Kate
Giggling! I didn’t realize it’s April Fools until I got to the very end of your post. Thanks for the heads up. :) Oh and I caved and bought a pastry slab at Crate and Barrel last weekend.
Kristina
going linen shopping today! right after I write my engagement post…
molly yeh
ohmygod this is delicious and amazing in every way.
Meli (Blush + Jelly)
You are the best Joy! Love the post. Can’t stop laughing.
Sarvani (baker in disguise)
Hahaa.. ahh.. thanks for the laugh!! one of the best post ever written! “Even better yes… a child’s hands holding a small mason jar.” , ” Consider getting engaged, having a baby, or getting a kitten. This will do wonders for your food blog!”, “The plan always is to look really cool. Never forget.”… these were my favourite!
Jill
But you didn’t post any fake-out food as “adorable” April Fool’s jokes on your loved ones :) This post made me laugh… thank you!
Anna
Am now feverishly awaiting the photo of kitten paws holding a mason jar. Soon?
joythebaker
training still in progress.
Dixya @ Food, Pleasure, and Health
good one Joy!
Angie
LOL! Thank you for the very useful tip! ;)
Jenna | The Eighty Twenty
a child, holding a kitten, holding a mason jar filled with tiny macarons!!!
joythebaker
GET OUT!
Patti Weiss
I came here hoping to find tips here on how build a matching spice rack and garden hose holder out of a wooden pallet.
joythebaker
we are ridiculous aren’t we!?
Patti Weiss
Dude, I totally made your peanut butter birthday cake for a coworker. And even though I got canned (fired, let go, 86’d) the day after bringing it in, they’re still talking about that cake, and asking for the recipe. Maybe if I had brought the Red Velvet Marble, things woulda worked out differently, but whatevs.
joythebaker
they should offer you your job back and you should kindly decline. that’s what i want for you.
Patti Weiss
And once again, I just tried to LIKE this post.
Deanna Segrave-Daly (@tspbasil)
Cracking up over the Metamuncil bottle reference – thanks for a fun April Fool’s Day post!
joythebaker
i know because i have one. too real.
Haley @Cupcakes and Sunshine
Love this! Way too funny!!! The kitten posts crack me up!
Lindsay @ The Live-In Kitchen
Haha, I love it! Well done.
Asha@FSK
LOVE this post and satire on the blossom (ing/ed) industry of food blogging! LOL
Lexi @ Lexi's Clean Kitchen
Love this post!
Jacque
win
Sini | my blue&white kitchen
Loved this. Joy, you’re bonkers awesome!
Baker Bettie
You forgot to add making mini versions of anything and everything. Mini apple pies, mini cupcakes, mini cinnamon rolls.
And put them on a stick.
Jennifer
Very close call with a mouthful of tea when I read about the kitten holding the mason jar! Thanks for the laughs this AM.
Karen B.
This is the perfect way to start April 1st. Handy tips, and even though I don’t blog about food, I’m going to get a kitten and a marble slab! :-) Maybe it will drive my ratings.
Karen
Ludi
and to top this: JOY I LOVE YOU EVERYDAY MORE. I mean… snark is the way to go, and since I am myself the sarcasm sponsor of the year.. thank you. Between me and you: I’m putting together pre-blog material (starting off real soon) and i laughed solo hard cause I am doing so many of these things!! thank you so much!
P. S. red cat in common!
hugs, Ludi
Daniela @ FoodrecipesHQ
Aahahah you made me laugh Joy! At some point I thought you were serious and started thinking of how to include my dog in my posts (or it is just about cats?).
Amber @ Caleigh's Kitchen
I flipping love you.
Laura BAKER-ISH
Seriously, what is going on with the marble??? If you buy two slabs do you get the kitten for free? :D
foodieinberlin
Ha, funny!
Monica
lol! Love it, Joy! : ) On a serious note, this marble slab I bought just isn’t working out for me photography wise. I had high hopes but I think the slab I bought isn’t big enough and it’s just not panning out. oh well…I’ll have to hit Ikea for those towels instead. ; )
Marlene
Awesome, now I know what to do! Thank you for making me laugh :)
Yvette (Muy Bueno)
Spit out my coffee laughing with kitten paws. Hysterical. April fools day!
LB
Sarcasm is my native language. That was right up my alley and even though it was for April Fools day, it’s actually very spot on!
Stephanie
You know people are going to take you seriously. Too funny. Now to teach my cat to hold a Mason jar.
Prudy | butter, basil, and breadcrumbs
Ahh….hahahahahahaha!!!! You had me going… I was going to stop at the SPCA right after work to get a kitten… Heck, maybe two kittens!! Amazon for the marble slab (which I’ve been wanting one anyway..)… and the linens! oh, the linens… I was like “Yes! I’ve nailed that one”… because I’m a linen freak. I buy them all the time! And was so happy to know that I could just be me. Just be myself with my messy kitchen, and my pajama pants…. :-)
Awesome post. LOVED it. Happy April Fools Day… :-)
Margarita
haha!!! this is why you are my favorite! for always!
Jess
Um… you forgot to mention that every food blogger absolutely always keeps a stocked bar cart- probably gold, absolutely a DIY project. And the liqueur array is probably color-coded. (;
joythebaker
i’m afraid you’re right…
Heather @ Sugar Dish Me
Dear Joy,
You made my day.
All the brown butter and hugs,
Heather
Carole
Lol!!!!! Kitten paws holding a mason jar!! This post rooooocks!!! Lol!! Perfect way to start my dY :)
Lyz
As a fellow food blogger (who’s currently working on a site redesign), I’ve been talking about these exact things VERY SERIOUSLY recently ;) Very funny post and spot on!
Tracy
Best tag line of them all “10 Quick, Easy, Gluten-Free, Paleo, Salted Caramel Tips To Be The Best Food Blogger On The World Wide Web!” Happy April Fool’s Day!
Kezia
I love your sarcasm!
Mike
You cracked me up with this post Joy, seriously, I’m in tears… :DDD
Can I add that of you want to be a successful food blogger you to buy yourself an old barn.
With dirty windows that will let in the perfect light, thousands of rusted cutlery and tons of worn out linen dish cloths.
Get the old barn -> Success. That easy!
Lane
You have to admit talking about browned butter is a good tip…or kale :)
joythebaker
you’re totally right.
Kate
Just what I was going to say: kale :D
Aubrae
You forgot:
“At least once a week, post a ‘recipe’ for something that absolutely does not require a recipe. See ‘how to make nachos without a recipe’ and ‘black bean and (insert grain here) bowl with salsa and veggies, a la chipotle’ “
joythebaker
i’ve totally done this before…
bippy1120
Hilarious!!!!
Gry
well, you could have fooled me…;) happy april fools day!
Rossi @ A Baking Girl
hahahaha LOVE THIS!
Carly
‘no one has ever pinned Metamucil’ #forthewin
Belinda @themoonblushbaker
I love this post for it humour and good will. I definitely can agree with some of those especially number 7. No tripod in this house too
Lisa
Lol that really put a smile on my face love it ;)
Made by Ellen
Very funny!!
SaraK
Hi Joy,
Awesome tips! I was hoping your list would include the source for that white dish I’m so obsessed by.
It’s actually in one of the links you included – https://joythebaker.com/2013/04/spinach-and-artichoke-grilled-cheese-sandwich/
I’ve seen similar, but I really like the handle on that dish.
Thanks!
Adrienne
In fact she has. A hotel lent it to her indefinitely: https://joythebaker.com/2011/05/my-plates/
Linda
I’m awake earlier than I want to be, and I have to say this is a great way to start my day. Even in a not serious context, your photos are great.
maryea {happy healthy mama}
You made my morning with this post. No one should take themselves too seriously! :)
Cara's Healthy Cravings
I agree with Gemma! That would be awesome :)
gloria @ bakingbynight
Happy April Fools’! You have such warm, witty voice that always comes through your posts! But seriously, I do need to get a marble slab!
Gemma
I really want to see kitten paws holding a mason jar now!
Courtney {FitCakes}
Gemma – check it out – she actually has that photo! (Basically.) https://joythebaker.com/2014/01/tuna-catnip-kitty-treats/