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It seems all too easy for me, this time of year especially, to find my inner dialogue swirl around what I can and can’t eat… what I should and should not put in my body… clean food this / dirty food that… drink more water, eat more kale, for goodness sake STOP thinking about tater tots you heathen!
It’s not so much exhausting as it is tedious and banal. And really… I know I can do better and drink more water, sure… but I’d like to focus on bringing more intention and care to my kitchen life rather than simply trying to eat kale instead of tater tots. What I’m say is, I’m not willing to give up tater tots or any other fried potato… so I’ll at least be intentional about what that looks like.
Know thyself better and better and better. Here are some of my Kitchen Resolutions. Maybe they’ll inspire some good vibes in your home too.
• Take good care. A few years ago, on the single side of one of those long term, completely life-intertwined relationships, I stopped cooking dinner. I was no longer cooking dinner for two people (ah the freedom / ooh the sadness) so really, what was the point of dinner? Scrambled eggs eaten out of the pan are fine for a single woman who just blew up her relationship life. Standing at the stove eating burnt tortillas with butter is plenty when the brain-plate is already full of heartache and change of address slips and internal dramatics and what are all these f-ing dating apps NO. Popcorn and wine because it’s good enough for Olivia Pope and she was sleeping with the damn president (in a fictional series that bears no truth in reality), so it’s good enough for me.
I stopped taking care of myself by way of dinner because me, just me, wasn’t worth it. Here’s the thing… I was so deeply mistaken. All sorts of wrong. Dinner for one, made with care no matter if it’s in a hurry or extra leisurely, is the best routine I’ve gifted myself in the past few years. It’s become a space where I listen to podcasts, stir in silence and think my thoughts, and occasionally sock-dance around the kitchen with wine because good gracious what a privilege it is to have time and space to cook for myself (I didn’t have to negotiate the vegetables or spice level, amen).
• Be less wasteful. Sometimes it takes some convincing to actually eat what’s in the fridge, doesn’t it? What a luxury. I’m doing my best to appreciate the food that’s in my refrigerator, use it all the way up, share it, and most of the scraps become either stock or compost. It’s effort but the stock alone feels pretty fantastic.
Tamar Adler is very fine inspiration.
And do I really know how to compost? No… but I’m learning! So far I think I’m making fine dirt which is the point, I think.
• Take on small cooking adventures. In short, make pasta from scratch more often. Not because there isn’t a store full of plenty of lovely pasta options, but because I can, it’s fun, supremely satisfying, and I can get friends to help. I’ve found that when you realize, really realize with your own hands, what can become of flour + egg + water, you’ll be amazing and more kitchen adventures will follow. It’s like learning magic you can also eat.
• Don’t present plates with apologies. I do this. “Oh… this Gluten-Free Fried Chicken that I just spent 2 hours (happily) making for you, with mashed potatoes and yes I roasted those carrots in extra butter YES I DID… I’m sorry it took so long / I’m sorry the chickens a little well-done / I’m sorry the mashed potatoes are a little lumpy.” NO. Not necessary. Clean the rim of that plate, chest out, chin high, you’re amazing for frying chicken at home and you know it. Accept accolades and high-five your damn self, too.
• Have fun, dangit. Two years back I was in the cozy, warm, exactly-right kitchen of Ashely and Glenn English, me drinking wine while they glided around the kitchen with ease and so much laughter. Glenn made a kimchi frittata and Ashley sliced star fruit for a salad… then used a small star-shaped cookie cutter to cut star shapes out of sliced cucumber. I’ll never forget it! star fruit salad with star-shaped cucumber, herbs, citrus and FUN. It was a really simple reminder to play with my food in unexpected and delicious ways.
• Recognize what you don’t need and let it goooo. This comes from a person who keeps a legitimately broken spatula in my kitchen utility utensil drawer because it’s my ‘lucky spatula’. Not true exactly… it’s mostly just my broken spatula and someone needs to throw the dang thing away while I’m not looking. Since likely no one is going to do that, I’ll have to let it go myself. As I spend more quality time in the kitchen, I’m going to pay attention to what I use and what I don’t- and throw away or donate those things that no longer work. We don’t need the luck, we’ve got knowhow.
For God’s sake, have a seat. I’m the queen of eating (cheese) standing at the kitchen counter, flipping through my phone. At some point I run out of cheese, and wander away from the counter to accomplish another task, likely forgetting that I’ve eaten just… so much cheese. Sit down. Have a proper snack if you want one. Just sit dooowwn so your knows and recognizes that it’s eating cheese glorious cheese. It’s probably how the French do it, minus cigarettes.
Here’s some lovely food comforts to carry along with our kitchen intentions during these colder months: Very Nutty Dark Chocolate Brownies // Roasted Vegetable Winter Crumble // Whole Roasted Onions // Chicken Spinach Meatball Soup with broth and rice // Peanut Butter Pickle Sandwiches // Milk Chocolate Cookies and Cream Cookies
xo Joy
63 Responses
I love this so much – it made me emotional in the very best way. You are in inspiration and an incredibly impressive and self-aware person.
I couldn’t agree more about the making dinner for one. I went through that same process but it is so important to feed myself well!
I, too, have made a vow to eat what is in the fridge/freezer before buying more stuff to go in the fridge/freezer. Just because chicken is on sale doesn’t mean I have to buy it! I love the feeling of satisfaction when using the last carrot in the bag or the last bit of chicken off the bone. And don’t even get me started on apologies…it is my biggest weakness.
Inspiring! I just love, love, love this! And, I just made those Milk Chocolate Cookies and Cream cookies yesterday for a party. They were (obviously) a hit. Thanks, Joy.
You are one of my favorites because along with solid recipes and flavors, you continue to remind us to savor our food and our lives and ourselves. Happy new year!
Cheers to you, Mel!
My kind of resolutions. Nice one, Joy.
Apparently one of Julia Child’s rules was “You should never apologize at the table. People will think, ‘Yes, it’s really not so good.” Good enough for her, good enough for us!
Yes. Yes. 100%, yes.
It is too easy to get swept up in running here and there, work and workouts, dirty dishes and laundry.
Its like we chatted about this over too much wine.
Cheers to 2017 and thank you Lady!
LFitz
I’m the worst for apologising about food that I’m serving – I really should stop too :) I’m trying to make more staples from scratch this year because it’s so satisfying :)
Four months in to a devastating, heart aching, crying at every song on the radio break up and really relate to your first point. Let me take care of me- starting with dinner. Thank you Joy, love you long time.
That first one is exactly where I’ve been at for a long while. It’s so hard to decide to do it for yourself!
Amen, Joy. Amen!
You are my self-care and kitchen bravery heroine. Thank you thank you for this beautiful space of delights and warmth and thoughtfulness you cultivate <3
I just recently (finally, yay!) moved into a place by myself and cooking an actual meal for dinner has suddenly become so challenging. No one is sharing it and no is watching me (both of these are awesome), but it does mean I’m incredibly lazy about the whole situation. I thought it was just me and maybe just a phase, wonderful to know I’m not alone! My plan is to combine being less wasteful and cooking dinner so that my fridge and pantry don’t end up a hot mess of single use condiments :)
This post made my day. Please keep inspiring us all in the kitchen. You have helped me attempt new adventures in my kitchen that my head said I could never do, but in my heart I was able to share with friends and family. That feels great! Thank you, lovely! xoxo
I love the no apologies bit, Joy! I find myself apologizing so much with my cooking and in life, and so many of my “sorrys” are unnecessary. I read that Julia Child vowed to never to apologize for a meal, even when she knew it was terrible. Cheers to less apologies in 2017!
Very true, just sit down.
Love this Joy! Friends say this to me all the time, that it’s not worth cooking for yourself. So not true! Self care is so important and cooking for yourself is a great way to do it. I usually make enough for leftovers for lunch( lots of things taste better the next day) or bring some to a coworker. I challenged myself last year in the kitchen. I took a great cooking class in Mexico City, a Salumi class in Napa and a cheese class in Oakland. I wanted to learn to make things, I had no idea how to make( fresh corn tamales anyone?) Cleaning out the extra kitchen tools, yes! I’m doing the Apartment Therapy January cure, so on that task list. I just ordered Tamar Adler’s book, thank you. I really am trying my best to not waste food. I’m getting better, but still could use improvement. My dear late sister was the queen of making something out of ” nothing”. You and she are my kitchen gurus!
The Recipe index links to see more recipes, such as the rest of the Savory recipes, do not work. Anything that starts like this “https://joythebaker.com/category/” just takes you to the main page, be it /Dinner, /Savory, etc.
Thank you! I’m working on fixing that now!
I adore you. That is all. XOXO
So important to just put aside your doubts, get in the kitchen and give it 110%. Thanks for reminding us!
You know it!
Sounds like a plan! It’s all about being intentional.
The presenting with apology is something I absolutely catch myself doing and wonder why. Why, when I put so much time and effort into it and maybe, MAYBE, it didn’t come out perfectly, but who cares? (And I threw away the entire waffle iron at Thanksgiving because it was 12 years old and the outside of it was beyond cleaning. Every time I looked at it I got upset, but it was a working waffle iron and it seemed ridiculous to throw it away. I finally gave in to just how upset the look of it made me and I don’t feel bad (except when I go to make waffles and remember I haven’t replaced it yet.))
Dear Joy, Thank you so much for this post. As a single woman who always eats scrambled eggs… I’ll remember to stir a little slower, drink more wine, and blare the music!
This was lovely! Thank you for your (very inspirational!) New Year’s message:-)
I really need to work on the apology thing and the being wasteful thing. It kills me to toss out unopened cartons of mushrooms that I just didn’t want to deal with and yet I do it more often than not. And though I only host family dinners a couple of times a year, they’re always full of apologies–usually because I forgot something. But dangit! If I’ve cooked two different entrées to suit my family because some don’t like chicken and some don’t like pork they can dang well get over the fact that I forgot to pop the bread in the oven! lol Also, who are these weirdos I’m related to who don’t like chicken or pork? Bleh!
Thanks for sharing these, Joy. :-)
This is good! Guilty of not bothering to cook actual meals for just myself , rather than stand at my counter and eat hummus and pretzels for dinner. And yes, why do we women (especially) say sorry for EVERYTHING. I notice it in young office assistants I work with more and more, like we are trying to lower expectations by down playing the effort. BTW, one of the things I am looking forward to in 2017 is your new cookbook!
Ahhh this is so refreshing to read! Thanks for the kitchen inspo Joy! You always know how to bring it! Looking forward to all the scrumptious dishes you have in store for us :)
Joy,
I love your attitude and the inspiration it provides me…especially the part about apologizing. I love to cook, I’m no chef, but the food is pretty good, yet I can’t seem to serve it to friends and family without apologizing for some aspect of the meal. I’m stopping that nonsense right now, thank you.
xo,
Karen
You are so wise! Thank you and Happy New Year!!
Excellent resolutions! I actually started my blog because I was tired of the lame dinner for 1 option of eggs, eggs, all the eggs. I still eat eggs, but as an occasion rather than a rule. And because being single is glorious (sometimes) it’s okay to eat cheese (or ice cream) standing up on occasion!
You speak the truth! The standing ice cream option is a glory sometimes. And we can do better than eggs, we really owe it to ourselves.
Lovely, Joy, and such good reminders for the new year. Maybe you could enlighten us a bit on making stock out of otherwise wasted food? I would love that.
The book I linked to, The Everlasting Meal, has a great section about making stocks from all sorts of vegetable scraps that you set aside in the freezer until you have enough to stock.
Love, Love this post! Thank you for always providing inspiration with a lot of fun!
Well, that was a great blog post. The simple fact that so many of us have the luxury of choosing the foods we want to eat and share is reason enough to celebrate it every day. Alone or with others. Thanks for the thoughts and the fun. And I hope you have more Facebook Live videos this year. They suit you well!
Thank you Mary Ann!
A thousand times yes.
Nodding my head in agreement with your intentional resolutions, but really jazzed over the idea of a roasted vegetable crumble. How did I miss that earlier? Happy 2017.
I just clapped my hands at you! That crumble is a good one!
I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for reminding us to savor the moment in our kitchens.
To kitchenmommy, I re-organized my spices this fall. I cleaned out a drawer which now holds the majority of the bottles I use most often. Alphabetized. I’m short and was continually having difficulty finding spices in the cabinet. I’d get really irritated which fueled the fire of “Why am I doing this all by myself, and why isn’t one of my offspring in here helping me” rant. And I really like to cook. Really like it. So in a not so short recap, the re-organization still brings me joy in its new KonMari state. Hope you find similar spice bliss.
Joy, I’m new to your blog. Came by way of Not Without Salt. HI!
Can we please talk a *bit* more about that kimchi frittata? Please?
We can. Consider it on the recipe list for the next few weeks!
And also the dressing for that fruit salad (or one similar)? It sounds so refreshing!
Great post Joy,
Humour and truth. I will sit with my cheese this year!
YES to all of this! I’m often guilty of presenting what I make with apologies. Last year I made a galette des rois (including the puff pastry) and I had a problem with my oven, so it almost didn’t make it to the table. Everyone was happily devouring it and I was still apologising.
For a while I also stopped making dinner because “why bother if it’s only me?” I’m worth it, damnit.
These are the kind of resolutions I can apply to my life. No, I’m not going to start running. Sorry/not sorry.
Let’s start with dinner. Running is awful just awful.
You are so right, especially with the last one: sit down, feel that you are sitting down, eat. I also decided to put my phone away for mealtimes, it’s just so distracting…
Thank you so much for sharing!
Years ago I stopped cooking dinner for much the same reason. And I agree – big mistake!
I still need to learn to take a seat. Maybe I’ll focus on that, next. :-)
Love your kitchen resolutions – so wise and tempered by experience! But in the name of January-related organizing, I have got to ask you a question. Have you found a good way to store (a big variety of) spices? So they’re actually easy to reach? I have a tiered thing in a cabinet that I’m always knocking the front row spices off, plus a box in a lazy Susan for lesser-used spices and blends, but I know there’s just got to be a better way…
kitchenmommy, for my most used spices I got a bunch of square tins with see through lids, put magnets on the bottom of them and have them hanging on a metal board on my wall(have kept them on the side of the fridge too). Easy to see and access and keep an eye on what needs refilling.
Happy New Year Joy. I love that this is about the having… rather than the abstaining. That apology thing – totally guilty … and totally giving myself a high five instead.
LOVE this post Joy! So many great things to think about and follow. (and how did I miss those milk chocolate cookies and cream cookies the first time around??? yum)
All. Of. These. Things. Thank you. :)
All of this!
This list is FANTASTIC. As a single gal myself, this is all so so very true. We’re hospitable, considerate and accommodating to everyone that visits our homes yet we forget about the OG – us. Thanks for this love yourself reminder! :)
OG-us!
“for goodness sake STOP thinking about tater tots you heathen!”
This is now my favorite quote ever. I’m going to use it in every situation possible.
Happy new year, Joy!
Oh my gosh how your words resonate with me! Thank you! I am going to try to use your recommendations
For my fabulous 2017! Thank you Joy and here’s to 2017????