Hello my friends! Happy Sunday!
How are you doing? How are we doing? How many men have told you to smile this week? I’m at 2. Thank you for the feedback, gentlemen. Do me a quick favor and mind your own business FOREVER AND EVER. It has felt like, these past few weeks, the flood gates of sexual misconduct have opened wide. What is there to say? I mean… yea. I feel grateful that the lights are shining on this issue. I feel frustrated that this is even an issue. I feel exhausted by my own experience with this garbage. I see who the President is. And then the whole cycle of emotions starts over with another news revelation.
Maybe that’s why I spend my free brainspace thinking about my upcoming Christmas decorations.
This past week felt like it lasted a year. Here are some of the things that reached me:
• Again. How To Reduce Shootings. It’s not black and white. It’s not easy. It’s not going to happen overnight. But my goodness something’s got to give.
• The depressing ritual of mass murder in America.
• This is a beautiful read. We choose how we are in the world. Let’s choose well and act with the sort of openness displayed by both of these men: The Bully and the Buddhist.
• Why canceling plans is so satisfying. Well… it’s instant time gained.
• Have You Ever Tried To Decline an Airplane Napkin? Apparently it’s very hard to do but it’s worth thinking about losing that thing.
• Can we talk about Thanksgiving? I’m having a gang of friends over for the holiday and we’re putting a bird in the oven. I’m using this brine to work my turkey this year.
• King Arthur Flour (the best!) has some really great baking tips to make prep feel easy and not mega stressful. Check it: Make and Freeze Dinner Rolls AND Make Ahead Pie Crust (which I totally want to try for Instagram Stories very soon!).
• These look really very good: Parmesan Thyme Mushrooms.
• It’s time for Dad’s Sweet Potato Pie, and if you’re in New Orleans, I’m hosting a Pie Prep Workshop NEXT SUNDAY where you tackle your fear of pie crust (with my help!) and we put together all of the ingredients for the pie for you can take off to bake on Wednesday or Thursday for Thanksgiving! Space is limited so holla at your girl (aka, sign up) if you’re down.
• You’re more than welcome to get all nosey and peek inside my house with this Joy the Baker Apartment Therapy Tour.
• Had a treat myself moment this week and bought a new hair conditioner… mostly because I’m too stubborn to get a trim. After one use, I’m ready to declare my love: Henna and Jasmine from LUSH.
• My friend Liz turned me on to this podcast that is really insightful and encouraging: Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations, listen to the first episode.
• Here’s a book I bought this week, it’s sweet: I Am Here Now.
• This audiobook is so great: The Hidden Life of Trees.
Enjoy this day. Only smile if you want to.
xo Joy
Kelsey Nikcevich
Thanks for letting us stalk your beautiful home. Your flower wall+your bar=serious GOALS.
Leslie
Joy, you are the best part of my Sunday routine. Thank you so much for being wonderful you. Btw, I made your Vegan Pumpkin bread yesterday for about the hundredth time (first time this year, though) – awesome as always!
joythebaker
Wonderful!
Just Jess
A. LUSH is amazing and I am obsessed with that place. Have you tried the King of Skin body butter? It’s a winter must have!
B. Yes! to your comments about being told to smile. That drives me crazy. I smile when I’m happy. Corresponding face to corresponding emotion. Why does random male stranger think that should change because they feel I’m not presenting my best self to the world?
Sherryn
I’m so glad I found you. :-)
Elizabeth
Your house is gorgeous and secret life of trees was my favorite book I read this year. So glad you enjoyed it!
Mary Ann
Your home is beautiful. I’m stealing a couple of ideas – but you’ll never notice they’re gone. :-)
Cathie
jOY,
I love your house! Wish I lived in New Orleans so I could come to your fun cooking classes. I teach in a Nature Center and LOVED the HIdden life of trees book. My granddaughters and I love making your recipes especially the mini strawberry scones and the bootcamp apple biscuits.
Chelsea
Every Sunday I look forward to reading your thoughts and looking at your great finds. It completely has become part of my routine to the point where I feel like we are friends. Thanks for having such a great soul :)
joythebaker
Thank YOU for being here!
Gretchen
Can you *please* share where you got the wall hanging in the picture on top of your writing? I would love to have something similar for our living room.
joythebaker
Yes! They’re wine racks from Pottery Barn though I don’t think they’re actually for hanging wine now, more decorative.
anon
All us women feel you on the “smile” comments. Deap Vally actually wrote a song called “Smile More” that captures my thoughts perfectly.
Shahar
Joy, I looked through your apartment tour (lovely!) and noticed you have the oven I just bought. I’m slightly freaking out that it doesn’t brown as well as my old oven. My husband keeps reminding me that I felt that way when we moved into this house and I had to get used to my old oven. Either way, I’m worried about my pies. Do you have any tips? Do you use the top oven for pies and cookies? Do you use the lower, convection setting to bake? Thank you so much and I love your blog!
joythebaker
You know what? You’re totally right. When I want to blast things to brown them in this oven I use the lower oven convection setting and have my baked goods in the middle or upper part of the oven. So I’ll have the oven on the regular bake setting, turn it off without opening the door, then turn on the convection setting for the last part of baking. Does that help?
Shahar
Yes! Thank you so much!
Lori
Why is it that we interept the request to smile from a man as a sexual thing? Could it be that the person just wants more happiness for you? Ever smile at someone in the hopes it will become catchy and spread joy and love? Just an observation from the brighter side…come on over there is plenty of room!
joythebaker
It’s not interrupted as a sexual thing… Why would a man ask me to smile? Because he assumes that because I’m not smiling I’m in a bad mood? Because he thinks that me rearranging my face at his request will change my mood from what he perceived as crabby to all-at-once pleased? All too often men are socialized to believe that they have control over women’s bodies and this is just an everyday bite of that socialization. And don’t worry, I live on the bright side, but recognize the shadows.
Nicole
BAM. Well said.
Libby
Yes! Well said, Joy. This article both inspired and enraged me, which is exactly how we need to feel about this issue.
https://medium.com/@caityjohnstone/allowing-metoo-to-go-viral-is-the-biggest-mistake-the-establishment-ever-made-1c706d16783b
Anne
Yes. Also, there is something about women being discouraged from expressing the full range of human emotions – or having an internal life. Probably the woman has a very good reason for being sad, worried, or pensive. Just leave her be.
Cy
Well said Joy! It’s not any man’s f…..kin business if I don’t feel like smiling! Great round up. I’m such a fan. A lovely cup of coffee and Joy’s Sunday musings. ( Although sometimes it’s Monday before I have time to read it) :)
Jeanette
Lori, it seems like Joy related the two since the topics were side-by-side in her writing, but really, she was just making two separate observations. Perhaps you have never been told to smile, but it is very unnerving. Here you are lost in thought when a random person walks up, says you should smile and then walks away. Worse, they smile while saying it and act like they just enlightened your day and made the world a better place. It’s infuriating!
Christina
Men telling women to smile: probably not sexual but definitely the result of sexism. Do men ever tell other men to smile? Does anyone ever tell men to smile? Yet, it happens to women frequently. I still remember it happening to me the first time (7th grade) when a (male) teacher told me to “smile!” Ugh. Men, please stop this.
Maria
Joy, after reading the article about the bully-turned-Buddhist, it made me think of a book I recently read the I think you might enjoy: The Dalai Lama’s Cat. Absolutely delightful! It captures the voice of a cat perfectly and humorously while also conveying some wisdom of the Buddhist philosophy. Knowing you are a cat lover, you might relish this book like my husband and I did, also fellow cat lovers.
joythebaker
Oh thank you!
Bridget
I used to get that all the time from people: men, women, didn’t matter. Instead of smiling, I wanted to punch them in the face. Ha! Thank you for the articles this week! I have never thought about the waste of airplane napkins before and I would love to see you make the pie crust on stories. Also, you have a beautiful home. So refreshing and inviting. :)
Rena
Sometimes it is definitely great to cancel plans!
xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
http://www.dressedwithsoul.com