Hello friends,
It’s late Saturday and I’ve, oddly enough, found a cozy spot in my closet to write today’s Sunday post. All is well (right?) and there’s a coziness being surrounded by sweaters and aprons. Also… it’s a small walk-in closet so things aren’t as dramatic as they sound over here.
All of my energy this weekend is going into Bakehouse workshops. Today was some pretty stellar Drake on Cake work and Sunday we’re making Berry and Apple Pies. Six of them, to be sure. Does it get better than this? If it does, don’t tell me about it just yet.
Um. I turn 38 next weekend. Weird because I’m pretty sure my mom is 38 so somewhere the math is wrong.
How are you? Real question. Are you steady and well? Well-rested and ready? That’s my hope.
The offering is here for you. The invitation is to take what you need and nothing more:
โข By now we all know that several states within the United States are challenging women’s health rights with the ‘heartbeat bill’. It’s never not a scary time to carry these female bodies around the world. I’ve been struggling lately to understand the WHY of all of this. It’s not out of regard for human life – if it were wouldn’t it also make sense to talk about making contraception super accessible, making reliable healthcare achievable for everyone, more subsidized child care, and investing in, you know, education!? I really struggle with understanding why some people think themselves the authority over something so deeply difficult and personal. And – for anyone whose typing fingers are burning to comment, say what you will but this isn’t a place where I care to have a debate. A Direct Challenge to Roe v. Wade in Alabama. There’s a plan. (The New York Times, The Daily)
โข This week’s longread is talk of Tony Robbins. You know the dude – this country’s most famous self-help guru. Remember all the trampoline work in I Am Not Your Guru? Well here we are: Unlimited Power. I suddenly feel the need to google the phrase ‘cult of personality’ to make sure I understand it correctly. (Netfliz and Buzzfeed)
โข This perspective struck me: Who Gets To Call Herself a Single Mom? (InStyle)
โข In these dark times I’ve been piling on and binge-listening to Crime Junkie Podcast. It’s honestly really great if you’re into torturing yourself with stories of the missing and murdered? Am I ok? Sure, mostly. Also… ok here’s one more thing – do you have an If I Go Missing file? Something with all your information and usual habits and passwords? Don’t worry mom – I share my location with you, remember? (Crime Junkie Podcast)
โข I also really needed to read this perspective this week: Don’t Use My Family For Your True Crime Stories. (CrimeRead)
โข I’m hoping to take a weeklong drive through California in June to see Big Sur for the first time. This little guide is helpful: California Highway 1: Los Angeles to Big Sur.(Salt and Wind)
โข The second season of Fleabag is here for us just in time. This show is so honest and poignant in a big way. (Amazon)
โข Jon Jon made this absolute gem and the next time I take out my bundt pan, here’s what’s going in it: Peanut Butter Chocolate Doughnut Cake. (The Candid Appetite)
โข I’ve been craving a classic this week: Pasta Salad. Made it. No regrets. (The Kitchn)
โข Current favorite cookbook: Ottolenghi Simple. (Amazon)
โข There is some small good news this week: Everlane has a new jumpsuit for us! (Everlane)
Enjoy this lovely day!
My love to you –
xo Joy
58 Responses
Thank you for your post, Joy, this Sunday and every Sunday.
Regardless of people’s thoughts and beliefs – some of them SO caustic and divided in the comment section – everyone has a right to free speech and if you want to use your blog for your beliefs, then you do you – that is your right. I happen to agree with you that these are scary times and we’re being told what we can do to our bodies but that is beside the point. I’m going to take my opinions and go review the Peanut Butter Chocolate Doughnut cake – that’s the best use of my opinion today.
Happy birthday to you! Thank you for all these years of blogging – I enjoy you.
1) Everything is awful and I can’t shake the feeling that we are repeating some very scary and dangerous history.
2) I ordered the jumpsuit which means that while everything is still awful, I’ll be prancing around in a linen jumpsuit.
3) You are the best.
xo
This is also the jumpsuit you need. Currently living in it …https://www.beyondyoga.com/farrah-cropped-jumpsuit.html?color=
Joy!
I’m loving True Crime Junkie too.
Two recommendations: Please please please listen to True Crime Bullsh*t. It’s about serial killer Isreal Keyes and Josh Hallmark, the host and producer of the podcast goes above and beyond in investigating the many missing people that could be his possible victims (because we know he killed many but only admitted to 3 or 4…)โฆ.
You’ll love it. It’s fascinating and freaky and honestly, it’s an education for how we can better keep ourselves safe from predators like Keyes. It’s a must listen!
Love your Sunday posts. Never stop. <3
I just realized I only gave the first recommendation. hahahah
My second rec is to watch Chernobyl and listen to the accompanying podcast put out by HBO. It’s haunting and fascinating and so, so well done.
Last thing- this is so old, but did you love True Detective season one– given the fact that you live in New Orleans? The landscape and eerily beautiful camera work and storyline of that show is one that’s always in my mind. I’ll never ever ever forget it. It makes me want to visit those small Louisiana towns with their Spanish moss trees and Southern Gothic cemetaries. Gosh… that impacted me so much…
Anyway- I’m done now. Have a wonderful week and know I look forward to your posts every Monday morning as a way to start my day.
Thank you, Joy, for addressing the abortion debate, because this is not a time to be silent. I want to know EXACTLY where everyone stands and I stand firmly pro-choice. The #youknowme movement on Instagram is fantastic. Letโs all speak up and shut down this travesty.
Just ran into your blog searching for active New Orleans personal/cultural blogs, which were plentiful at one time. Thank-you very much for all the effort that you obviously put in here.
I lived in Bywater and Old Algiers Point for many years, but I’m now stuck up in the East Ontario bush. Blogs like yours help me to keep up with the Crescent City haps. I do know what it means to miss New Orleans.
(One small favor….no more pics of donuts…..the drool gums up my keyboard ;>)
Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Regarding the title of single mother, I say I am “solo parenting” when my partner travels for work for long stretches. I have the blessings of two incomes and a live-in partner. I don’t get to claim the same title as parents who do it all day, every day without respite or a second income.
Wishing you a very happy 38th birthday, Joy! Thank you for your Sunday posts and beautiful recipes. I have been following you for years now. Your perspective is always important and thoughtfully delivered. We are going to NOLA next month and look forward to using your guides. Have a great week <3
I donโt get how you could be โstruggling to understandโ the whyโs of something, and yet are unopen to hear the perspective of anyone on that side of the issue. ????
Stand behind everything you outlined and I am still in utter disbelief that we are having to fight this fight again and a bunch of old men have such a voice.
Jennifer
Sitting in my kitchen baking a bundt cake for work tomorrow (cream cheese pound cake with strawberry swirl). Somehow I have become designated Birthday baker in my department. Great way to end a busy weekend and relax reading your Sunday message. You always give me so much to think about..so thank you for that. Sending you the warmest of birthday wishes.
Go, Joy! Thanks. Yes, a platform that remains unused is a waste indeed.
Happy Birthday! :)
The President is jamming through judges that support his outlook on Roe. The problem here is that President Obama wasn’t allowed to put his pick for Supreme Court Justice even up for a hearing. The Republicans blocked him from doing so and waited until a Republican President came into office and then allowed hearings to transpire. This has never happened before and all of it is happening to align the courts with Theocratic ideals including overturning Roe v Wade. The nominees for the court were asked specific questions about these ideals and they refused to answer the questions. Yet, they were still voted into those positions. I do get a lot of Joy coming to this blog for great recipes and the opportunity to see her insights into what is happening in the world. As blogger, she has the right to express her opinion and we do not have to agree nor even go to the links she provides. We are lucky in America to be able to voice our thoughts and opinions without fear. I hope Joy continues to share her experiences and observations.
Dear Joy- thanks for the commentary on the latest political action by all those who think they are acting in the best interest of everyone involved. Deeply difficult and personal. I love that! That is exactly what it is. I worked with so many women and young adolescents who have found themselves in such dire situations. Machismo men that strut their stuff because they believe having another child makes them manly. They canโt even afford to pay the bills! The poor woman who cry at night because not only were they impregnated against their will, they have to figure out how to feed another child and suffer right along with their children. Rape victims who can even bring themselves to face the dreadful reality of their situation. Incest situations that are so egregious, all you can do is cry at night because you wonder where is this society going with the loss of family morals and values. What more can I do to change the condition? You keep crying and hope it cleanses you enough spiritually so you can get up and fight for yourself and others another day. I donโt want to debate it either. I have seen enough. Iโll just visit my congressperson or senator and let them know I am watching them. You vote for this legislation, not only will you lose my vote, but you have dismissed the suffering of millions of women who literally have no control over their lives and circumstances.
Happy Happy Birthday and many more.
I look forward to reading your posts and love hearing from you every week!
Thank you for your weekly blog post, Joy. Needed it today more than most weekends. A Trump-lite government has just been re-elected in Australia. Feeling so disconnected and despondent – wish my closet was big enough to spend time in!
Happy (almost) Birthday, Joy!
38 is a fabulous age!
“And โ for anyone whose typing fingers are burning to comment, say what you will but this isnโt a place where I care to have a debate.”
I read this and it broke my heart. Because, yes, we can all agree, this is a deeply difficult issue. But to shut down debate is basically to to refuse to listen to any thoughts or opinions that are different from your own. This is directly responsible for the ever increasing polarization in this country. When we get to the point where we can’t even hear what our sisters have to say, we are truly beyond hope.
Joy, please visit the beautiful Big Sur restaurant Nepenthe! Enjoy a glass of something at the bar overlooking our Pacific Ocean!
Cheers:)
Liz
This post deeply saddens me. When it comes to divisive subjects, we often ask โwhy is this happening?โ or โhow could these people have this view?โ; but weโre then unwilling to listen to anyone whose opinion differs from our own. By only listening to those who share our viewpoint, we begin to see those with different views as โother,โ as the opposition, and eventually as monsters and something less than human. It seems to me that open and honest discussion is the ONLY way to combat this tendency. To acknowledge that some issues are so complicated that there isnโt anything as simple as a โrightโ or a โwrongโ answer. To share our views and the experiences that shaped those views. To approach each other with respect and compassion and the understanding that weโre all trying to make the world a better place (even if we have different ideas of how to accomplish that).
I agree that the comment section of a blog post may not be the ideal place to discuss abortion (especially given the vitriol of the internet in general and around this topic in particular). But doing away with these discussions is in large part what has brought us to where we are today โ hopelessly divided on myriad issues; staunch in our beliefs that โweโ are right while โtheyโ are evil. Thereโs no way forward like that, no hope for the future.
I personally think we need more discussions, more view sharing โ and A LOT more listening from all sides.
Umm, My 40th birthday party is at the end of next month, Iโll be 22.
In our family, we pick an age and sometimes change it every 30-40 years later.
I wonder if our moms were the same age when we were born, because I had the same reaction when I turned 38. Iโm 40 now, but when I turned 38 it was one of the โwoahโ birthdays. I figured out that it was because 38 is the first age that I really clearly remember my mom being. And of course she seemed so old to me, ouch. I wonder if itโs the same for you? Letโs see. . .I would have been 9 when my mom was 38.
The meatballs in Ottolenghi Simple…yeah.
Happy Birthday Joy! You are one of my favorite people on-line. I hope this year will be special and wonderful and everything you hope for!
If you can, add the Humboldt State Parks to your list and the Avenue of Giants. Old growth redwoods, campgrounds where each site is surrounded by secondary growth and private. One step (actually about 20 feet into the woods off any parking pull out and it is pristine silence, green nurturing. Really, go there!
Also, campfire talks for the child in us! Immense beauty.
Love your column and your new direction slowly developing; growth and change! (or maybe quickly?)
Joy, I read your blog regularly but almost never comment. Today, I just had to though. Thank you for your thoughtful and thought-provoking curating of articles and features, which I enjoy weekly. But more importantly, thank you for your kind and gentle way of expressing your opinions and creating a safe space for all. I agree with your comments and thoughts about Alabama and what’s happening around the US. Your thoughtful, mindful approach serves as an inspiration to me. Thank you.
Happy 38th! I hope you have a fantastic day and a year filled with joy, hope and peace!
My two cents worth: Tony Robbins. Um. NO. Interestingly and scarily, despite many states’ laws prohibiting pre-employment psychological testing, some employers require job applicants to complete the Robbins’ so-called “personality test” (pc term for psychological profiling) and submit the results with the job application. Worse, if you succumb to the invitation to take the test you will have a really tough time getting rid of the flood of Robbins’ spam email which will literally overrun your in-box. I urge those who are interested in Robbins or his ilk to please beware of the invasiveness of personalities which verge on, or are over the line of, cultism. If your job hunt takes you to a prospective employer who requires this in contravention of states’ laws prohibiting pre-employment psych tests, trust me, you do not want to work for that employer who likely is full on with the Robbins “philosophy. I hope airing this opinion does not get me banned from commenting – normally I love reading this blog every Sunday but this time admit to being shocked at the inclusion of anything related to Tony Robbins.
Joy, thank you for speaking out about issues that matter to you! I think anybody with a platform and an audience has a responsibility to use them in situations this dire, regardless of how far that strays from your typical themes. You are an actual human woman, not just a food content generating algorithm, so thank you for keeping it real.
I love your Sunday posts :) They are real and refreshing.
I turn 38 tomorrow! Happy birthday to you!
Every Sunday I love you a little more. Thank you for being a part of my Sunday morning routine, and for speaking up about women’s health. You are great.
Dear Joy,
I’m a loyal reader and a big fan of your blog. I want to thank you for all the work you do for Let It Be Sunday and all the wonderful recipes you share with us. I make your Baked Lemon Risotto at least once a month. It’s a family favorite.
I also want to thank you for the gentle and kind way you express yourself and your opinions. It’s really wonderful. Please keep up your good work. I think the world could use more thoughtful, mindful and kind people like you right now.
As for turning 38, Congratulations ! I love birthdays even thought it’s been a while since I was 38. You’ll love it. I have found that with the right attitude, and a lot of gratitude, life just gets better. There are always struggles, but there is always beauty and love too. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. Thank you again for all you share.
I thank you for your blog and recipes. I also thank you for your courage and honesty in writing todayโs post. We need more women to step up or more and more of this will happen. I acknowledge the other posterโs comments but everyone deserves the right to air their opinions.
I live in a state where bullets are more readily available than reproductive health care. It is both disturbing and deeply frightening. Medical decisions should always be between a doctor and patient. Sisters undergoing this difficult time deserve our compassion not condemnation. Thank you Joy – xx
A not really funny cartoon in WaPo said there is a travel advisory for women to avoid AL. Pretty messed up state of affairs indeed.
My degree is criminal justice, so I’m naturally drawn to the crime stories myself. (I’m rather fearless, but not to the point of stoopid lol)
38, you say? Well, well -I’ve been 38 for more years than I can count! Enjoy!
Pasta salad sounds good. Maybe a burger on the grill along with it.
I’m new here, but wanted to say I love your blog.
I am so glad I found your blog! You’re pretty amazing. Love your energy and perspectives.
Hello
I love to make a little nook for myself as well to create, to meditate or just be quiet with me!! Thank you for touching on womenโs health issues, I truly appreciate you not shying away. With that said itโs Lemon curd day for me for a Tarte Citron. I love the stuff!!! Have a wonderful Sunday.
Some of us who like to bake and cook and find you witty and interesting also support the right to life. Some of us find reason to rejoice for what is going on in Alabama. We wish to keep our baking and our politecs seperate. Some of our compatriots would say that we are wrong and should boycott those who don’t also upport our cause. Some would say that there can be no discussion. I don’t believe that, but it does make me feel left out when i turn to this blog for joy – the feeling and find that it isn’t here for me. I ask myself if i can just focus on delicious food, good books and sassy banter? Is it okay to do that? If i had a blog with tasty treat but was very pro-life would you read it?
Of course I would. Perhaps it would help me understand a perspective different from my own. When one wonโt even entertain hearing about another perspective, all hope is lost for all.
I have to agree. Love your blog, love your personality, love that you are mixing it up here in Nola. I don’t want to read political things when i come to this blog. I do understand that this is your blog and you have every right to post what you want. We are a polarized country at this time. I will not delete your blog and i will not try to convince you of my pro life stance.
Respectfully, I probably wouldn’t read your blog. Why? Because as the saying goes, “I’ll respect your opinion as long as it doesn’t disrespect someone else’s existence”. When you use your belief (one that isn’t based in scientific fact) to try to pass laws that affect my body, then we’ve lost the ability to compromise.
This made me laugh. It seems to me that the biggest disrespecter of someone’s existence is the abortion movement. 60 million someones, aunts and uncles, siblings, grandchildren, and children are not here because our society says that mothers can kill their children. We don’t say “Children are precious, be careful who you decide to have sex with” or “That orgasm isn’t worth a human life or the diseases you can get”. For some reason, women now think their own biology is an outrageous imposition that gets in the way of sex, instead of an astounding miracle of biology and soul. Of course, being the aging feminist that I am, I remember back to Roe and being pro-choice. That changed when I detected the propaganda of the “personal decision” that is so personal and final to the one who can’t speak for herself, the “better if [foster kids, poor kids, handicapped kids] weren’t born at all” rhetoric that is routinely trotted out to supposedly support abortion. Like having widely available abortion has eliminated these problems (well, in the case of Downs kids, who are so beautiful and filled with love, it’s tragically true.) Seeing children as a problem *is* the problem.
Do I read other points of view? All the time. I’m impressed by the ignorance of basic biology that is promulgated by the pro-abortion factions. But, it’s true: killing the helpless is so much easier than loving them both. It’s just not good for us.
Who are you to decide that the world needs (an arbitrary) 60 million more people and to give them more power than the women whose choice it was to not have them? I will never understand women who don’t support other women. This all about controlling women, and mine and my daughters’ bodies are none of your business. PERIOD. I know women who have had to make this difficult decision due to birth defects (a baby growing without functioning lungs) and potential death of the mother (eclampsia and placenta percreta) unless the pregnancy was terminated, and all of these situations required abortion paperwork. Please consider all aspects of these situations and the awful restrictions you support placing on a woman’s body before rushing to be the voice of unborn children. In addition, I hope you also support caring for those who are actually born with access to free health care, improving educational resources, and advocating for clean energy for future generations of someones, aunts and uncles, siblings, grandchildren, and children.
Jill, as rhetorical questions go, this is the silliest. Who am I to say “x”? I suspect that I’ve spent many more years thinking about this question than you have and came to my conclusions freely, in the course of seeking the truth about our nature, our duty to our fellow human beings, the good of society at large.
As you undoubtedly know, delivering a baby prematurely is not the same as aborting it. Also, no one, not even the Catholic Church, says that the baby’s life is worth more than the mothers. In any case, killing a baby is never the cure for the mother’s health: delivering her is.
It was, in fact, the story of a woman who sought a late term abortion for a child that had a birth defect that made me pro-life.
I totally agree with you that abortion is about controlling women’s bodies. Janet Yellen and her husband did a study back in the ’90’s that looked at who benefitted from Roe v. Wade. They found that women and children were hurt, and men benefitted.
You bet I support women and children post-birth. In fact, what I do would make your head explode. But I’m grateful for your concern about my not being a hypocrite. But look: I have to really help people, all you have to do is say, “Oh well, lotta trouble. Just kill it.”
Would you care to comment what your field of work is? I am a biologist. And “basic biology” would seem to prove that a fetus is a collection of living cells, sure, but not a “child” as you have suggested multiple times in this post. I respect your right to an opinion, but please don’t use the term biology to support your stance, because it is not science-based. Cheers.
@r I respect your opinion as far as it concerns you and you alone. Being against women’s rights to their own body is your prerogative. But only for yourself.
When someone supports encroaching on the long decided rights of others to decide what is best for them and their family, that’s where boundaries have been overstepped.
There is no state-sponsored religion. Do you know why? Because much like abortion, it’s personal and no one has the right to tell you what is best for you and your family. I hope you can respect other’s rights as they respect yours.
I would not read your blog. No tasty treat in the world is worth supporting something that advocates removing women’s rights to make choices about their bodies and their healthcare.
Turns out, the internet is filled with tasty treats, so there are plenty of places to go. I want to know exactly who and what the people I follow support so that I can spend my money and time wisely and in a manner in line with my moral compass. I imagine you are free to do the same – if I had the stance you had and read this blog, I would probably go elsewhere, without apology and without warning.
All of us are pro-life. Some of us are much more concerned with the lives of actual breathing, struggling women, and prefer to give their needs precedence over the presumed rights of an embryo. And if you think it is OK to force a rape or incest victim to bear her attackerโs child, then we have no common ground.
So sorry that you felt “left out” today. As a Missouri resident I can certainly sympathize, because I’ve been feeling pretty “left out” realizing I live in a backwards state that actually passed a law telling me what I can and cannot do with my own body. Have fun with your tasty treats and demented disregard of the Constitution.
Thank you R, for stating so much of my own sentiments. And I’m sorry to see how much vitriol people give you instead of listening. I wonder what part of their wounded hearts you touched a nerve in.
It’s sad when people want to just scream their own opinion at someone and then plug their fingers in their ears so they don’t have to hear anything back. Or to actually understand the viewpoint of the person across from them instead of the caricature they have made it out to be (I think of how few people in support of abortion understand how many of us opposed do great works to support women AND their children. Instead they are content to see us as the joke portrayed by the NY Times).
Uh, so we are allowed only to listen to you, but not state our own opinions? Is that how it works in your world?
Kim – I was more referring to Joy’s statement that she wants to just throw out her viewpoints on the matter but not to have anyone engage in the comments with her about the issue. I’m sorry if that was not clear to you in the original posting. I’m also sorry about what kind of life you lead that you jumped to such extreme conclusions about my ability to engage in conversations without knowing anything about me.
I don’t disregard your opposition to abortion at all, but I don’t understand why just because you don’t agree with something means that no one is allowed to do it? I don’t believe in organized religion, but I would never judge or force someone to act/feel the same as me. That is what the abortion bans are doing. They are forcing a belief of a certain group of people on every single women. Just because abortions are legal, doesn’t mean you have to get one, Just because abortions are legal, doesn’t mean you can’t still help foster kids or at need kids get the love they need. Just because abortion is legal, doesn’t mean a woman is making the decision to get one frivolously.
Stacy – you are highlighting one reason why people aren’t ever able to talk about abortion — for one group the issue is about the feelings of control over a women’s body (those that are pro-choice) and for the other it is that abortion means the killing of an innocent person (those that are pro-life). The same issue on the surface but two very different views as to what the problem is. And from either lens than it makes sense why neither group will compromise. If it was just about control of a body how awful would it be that people would be fine with that? And if the issue is about the murder of a life than how despicable would it be to allow that to continue? Just as awful as if I were to witness someone beating their child or raping a woman and I turned the other way because “hey, I don’t agree with it but you do you”.
For me as a pro-life person that is the view – women have lots of choices but the murder of a person is not one of them. And if I truly believe that is the murder of a person than I can’t just sit and say “not for me but fine for you.” It’s why I am so passionate about so many other issues in my community from education to homelessness to immigration to human trafficking – because I can’t turn away when bad things are happening.
My walk-in is where my pooch heads when the thunderstorms start, so we have been hanging out there more lately. It never occurred to me, that I would be 19 when R v W passed, then I would see these changes coming so many years later. My heart just hurts and my head wants to explode. Happy birthday, dear one, wishing you many more. And selfishly, wishing you many more years of these blog posts, because yours is my first read every Sunday morning.
I really appreciate you posting the true crime perspective story… I couldn’t get past the first episode of “my favorite murder”, I was so upset by its bizarre and twisted outlook. I think the hosts gave a two second disclaimer about how “we aren’t idolizing the murderers or ignoring the victims” but the entire rest of the podcast was exactly that. I really hope this trend is just a blip on the mass entertainment radar and goes the way of similar experiments showcasing the worst of humanity in order to make us “normal” people feel better about ourselves. Remember the Biggest Loser? CRINGE. Too bad The Bachelor is still out there. Hope for a better future.
Joy, I appreciate you. It’s been quite a week and I’m pleased as always to see that you’re not shying away from discussing the uncomfortable ugliness going on out there. Me personally, I’m switching in between reading all the in-depth articles about it all and hyperventilating, and watching the live stream of the World Beard and Mustache championships to stay sane, but I can definitely see how true crime could have the same effect.
Sometimes I am also doing some things in my walk- in closet ?
Happy Sunday!
xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena
http://www.dressedwithsoul.com