Welcome to another fine Sunday.
Yesterday a friend brought this tweet to my attention: @dadman_walking: 1980s parents DGAF. I broke my arm at a friend’s house when I was 5 and my mom didn’t believe me and shoved it in my coat because it was time to go home and she didn’t have time for this.
If you grew up in the 1980’s surely you have a story like this.
Mine is this: I broke my finger at school in 4th grade. I was a take-no-prisoners style tetherball player. I went home and told my mom my finger hurt and it was broken. She looked at it and said it was fine. I wrapped my broken finger in toilet paper and bandaids and went to my piano lesson where, if you’re keeping track, I played piano with a broken finger. That night I got in trouble for using too many bandaids. To this day my finger has a lump in it from healing poorly BECAUSE IT WAS BROKEN, MOM! Also, mom I love you. You’re a warrior and you did a great job. It’s just a finger.
I’m sure children of every era have similar stories. Parents are just trying to deal, sometimes with multiple small humans, themselves, each other, their parents, jobs, taxes, ugh dinner. It’s like… your finger is fine – it has to be fine / don’t use all the bandaids.
So. That’s where we’re at today. Thanks for meeting me here. The offering this week is below. Take what you need.
• Everything My Husband Wasn’t There For: I raised my daughters alone after my husband died in the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Now they’re grown and I’m finally coming up for air. (The Atlantic)
• Portraits: 18 women in the Afghan capitol of Kabul on their concerns if the Taliban were to regain power. (Buzzfeed News)
• After my surgery last year for what turned out to be endometriosis, my doctor said “I’m surprised you weren’t complaining of more pain.” I was. For years. Only to have doctor after doctor tell me that maybe that’s normal for me / every woman is different / you should go on the pill it’s the only way to fix it. Truth is, they just don’t know. Most have no idea and we have to educate ourselves and advocate for our bodies (and do everything else in the world so…). Please read: Why Don’t Doctors Trust Women?
• Are My Hormones Me? Yes and no. But don’t worry, it’s mostly an existential crisis. Lol, HELP. (The Cut)
• The Weather : my husband’s struggle with postpartum depression was my struggle too. (Gay Medium)
• I have yet to really give my attention to the 2020 presidential election. I think I’m waiting for next year to wake my mind to it because I’m certain I’ll have to fight election fatigue a few months in. BUT. This episode of The Daily about democratic long shot Andrew Yang was super compelling. (The New York Times)
• I’ve been looking forward to Joseph’s new album Good Luck Kid for months now. It’s a heartfelt human story and it has me in my feelings. Please listen with me. (Spotify)
• Mmmkay, we’re unsubscribing from crystals: Crystals Might Be Good for Your Aura. But Buying Them Could Be Bad Karma (LA Mag)
• I made this a few weeks ago and was super thankful to find it in my freezer this week: Tikka Masala. (Bon )
• I have more dinner thoughts (because I have a stash of these in the freezer too): Red Beans and Rice Veggie Burger. (Joy the Baker)
• This last one is EXCITING! I’ve been writing an 8-part baking series with The Washington Post! It’s a series aimed at beginning bakers – teaching the very fundamentals of baking through classic recipes. You’ll learn why we do what we do, how ingredients work together to make magic in the oven. I’m so proud of this and so excited to share it with you! We launch the newsletter series this Friday! Sign up and every Friday you’ll receive an email with the pep-talk and the recipe. No subscription to The Washington Post required. This is straight from Voraciously to your inbox. Woot! What a thrill!
My love to you.
Enjoy the day!
The photo above is Simple Fig and Mascarpone Cake. A very good idea.
Fellow ’80s kid here. I hated going to swimming lessons every summer, but my mom–not a good swimmer herself–made me go. One day, after having orange juice at breakfast that tasted funny, I told her my stomach was upset. She was convinced I was faking to get out of going to swimming. I barely made it out of the pool before I lost my breakfast all over the pool deck. Thanks for not believing me, Mom. (And for giving me spoiled OJ too).
I grew up in the late 90s/early 2000s, but I have a similar experience. When I was in 6th grade, I broke my ankle (a pretty serious break along the growth plate, no less), but my parents were convinced it was just sprained despite the fact that it was swollen to twice the size and was terribly bruised. It took them 5 days to finally take me to the ER (after they finally admitted that I couldn’t put any weight on it and was in serious pain). I then got a skin ulcer on the top of my foot as a result of an incompetent doctor, who also wrapped the splint too tightly and I almost lost my toes because the circulation was mostly cut off. All that to say- I did end up avoiding very serious surgery and pins in my ankle because by the time I saw a specialist, the break had already mostly healed (the ankle is still weak and my left foot is a half size smaller because of the break).
Always good reads!