Hi friends.
Where are we this week? In such a dark dark place. I read this headline today and could only say “My God” aloud. It’s hard. It’s always hard sometimes we feel it more deeply.
We have a lot of places to go in today’s Sunday post but let me start here:
I read every single one of your comments on my birthday post last week. THANK YOU! From deep inside my heart Thank You.
That feeling that has us believe we’re friends who have never met? I think it’s real. I actually know it’s real because so many of you have come to a Bakehouse class and you literally walk in the door and WE’RE FRIENDS. It’s just that you need to remind me of your name and then there’s no stopping us. So – thank you for your friendship. I realized even more strongly this week that it really means so much to me.
In epically small news, Tron just used his paw to open the door to the bathroom and walked it. It’s such a funny thing… like he’s going in there to use the restroom but really he’s just going to lay his overly fury body on the cool tile. A sure sign that summer has arrived in New Orleans and I don’t have the air cool enough for his pleasure.
In more epically small news, I’m working towards a big Fall project you’ll have in your hot little hands come October 26th. From now until mid-July I’m working on Thanksgiving and Christmas recipes so my kitchen world continues to be topsy-turvy, my craving for Turkey Pot Pie is absolutely out of place, and I’m just rollin’ we all these punches and grateful for opportunities (and making sweet potato pie in May). I’m excited about this one, y’all.
The offering this week is below. It’s a lot of downs and a few ups. Take what you need and leave the rest for another day. We understand each other.
• An Incalculable Loss. 100,000 deaths is hard to understand and overwhelming to feel and of course we haven’t properly mourned. (The New York Times, Medium)
• Also an incalculable loss like so many TOO MANY before him: The Death of George Floyd, In Context. Friends. My heart is so heavy and so tired. This is the history we haven’t learned past. The trauma bred in our bones that we perpetuate. It’s our deep sin that we can’t cast into the fire. My jaw fell open earlier this week watching the video of Amy Cooper repeatedly and with increasing hysteria refer to the race of the man asking her to leash the dog she was choking. That’s it – this present maybe dormant racism that flares up so quickly, with such high consequences. My God – this is what we have to face about who we are. Have you listened to The 1619 Project. This is why we are who we are. We must to change it – but we’ve known that for a long time haven’t we? We have to take better care of each other. (The New Yorker, The New York Times)
• Have you been to the Equal Justice Initiative’s Lynching Memorial. Have you read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson? (EJI, Indiebound)
• A very strong list of Anti-Racism Resources. (Google Doc)
• I need to say something about social media. I’ve had a handful of people on Instagram call me out for not Instagram-addressing all that’s going on right now. Wow – what an interesting fight to take up at this time. I think maybe those people don’t know me. I’m Joy, a mixed-race woman with a black father and family. These tragedies are not suddenly new to me. It doesn’t feel natural to me to post an anti-racist post on Instagram this week – stillness and mourning is where I am. These tragedies, these murders, have always been devastating, and unjust, and completely incomprehensible. Every single one of them. I’m also deeply sorry for the people holding their breaths through riots in their cities. My family and I also lived through the Los Angeles riots, my dad spraying down the roof of our house so it didn’t catch fire from the nearby businesses set ablaze. It’s so scary, I know. This is hard- every way you come at it. It’s all of our pain. None of us are separate from it.
• Millennials: The Unluckiest Generation but like… with the coolest sunglasses? (The Washington Post)
• This, from touring musician Rosanne Cash: I Will Miss What I Wanted To Lose. (The Atlantic)
• We’re all gardeners now. My friend Kristin of Dine x Design is an incredible home gardener and she shares a lot of tips and enthusiasm in her Instagram stories. (Outside, Instagram)
• Or you could make a houseplant that anyone can take care of. (House That Lars Built)
• BOOK TALK: You read Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel, yes? I can’t wait to read her latest book: The Glass Hotel.(Parnassus, Amazon)
• This week I’m listening to this POLLEN playlist on Spotify.
• Best podcast episode of the week is The Daily’s Genie Chance and the Great Alaska Earthquake. The end of her story had me in tears. (The Daily)
• You’re well into Brene Brown’s new podcast, Unlocking Us. Welp… she’s America’s therapist now thankyouverymuch. (Apple Podcasts and Texas Monthly)
• Pretty sweet: Love At First Quarantine. (NPR)
• I started grilling… like outside with actual charcoals, a few years ago and if you’re not into this – now is your moment. Gas grills don’t count, k? Everything You Need To Know About Charcoal Grilling. (The Kitchn)
• The Sunny Project is a print sale of work by Florida-based photographers with 100 percent of proceeds split equally among three Miami-based nonprofits that support vulnerable women and children who are at especially high risk due to Covid-19. There’s some really lovely work here. (The Sunny Project)
I hope you enjoy this day.
My love to you.
xo Joy
Samantha
It’s hard to read what’s happening there in US from Italy without the chance to act phisically for the cause and not just with some posts written on social media.
Elizabeth
Joy, you are a bright light in a dark world, by that I don’t not just mean these difficult times but every week. I have been reading your blog for ever, I have your books and bake your treats but it is your Sunday posts that I enjoy the most.
You have opened my eyes to things I did not see, I’ve read about subjects I would never have because you posted about them, thank you for your JOY, your honesty, your loveliness and most of all for just being you.
Meghan
Thank you for this gift each week. I look forward to it. I appreciate it. I wait to open it until I can sit down, alone, and savour it. Thank you for what you do and sharing it with us.
Jenna Q
Girl, you are the bees knees. Thank you. xo
KW
Since when does social media have to be a person’s whole life? Just because you haven’t posted about an issue, does that mean you don’t care or sympathize or mourn? You may even be out there as an activist Not posting on social media is not the same as not speaking up when someone is being victimized. While social media can be powerful, terrifyingly so at times, that doesn’t mean it is the right outlet for all of us and there should be no unwritten requirement to post on every social matter. Bless you, and your family, and Tron. I understand the need in troubled times to just find a cool place to lie down.
Elizabeth
I agree with you. Just because a person isn’t posting about what is going on doesn’t mean you don’t care and sadly just because many are posting doesn’t mean they will discuss racism or any issues in the future. I have found that over the last 6 years these seems to be a hastang mentality for activism but only when that issue is in the news.
This week I feel as if so many are disingenuous in their posting, I could be wrong, but I feel like they are only posting because they are getting so much pressure to post. I also have found that no matter what you do or post there is someone that doesn’t agree with what you are posting. I have seen so many nasty comments on peoples posts about how they expressed themselves, what quote they posted and more. It is sad.
Kirsten
Thank you most of all for being you and for sharing with those of us who visit this space. It’s truly special, and I admire the way you’re able to combine the weighty with the lighter stuff.
And thank you too for your thoughts on social media. It’s good to have this reminder that social media platforms can have a place in teaching and processing pain, but they don’t tell the whole story of our complex, beautiful human lives.
Alison
This comment could ramble on forever, so I’m going to keep things short. Thank you, Joy. For your willingness to share, be vulnerable, open, and confront all of the things we’re facing in life. …and I’m sorry – that you have to explain to folks that you get it. You have a black dad. That you have to divulge your personal life to people on the internet who clearly don’t follow you here and pay attention, or they’d already know you get it. I’m glad you’re taking time for you. Thank you for continually also taking the time for all of us and sharing these links. <3
Darius
Hello, Joy. I really like your posts “Let it Be Sunday”. Keep up the good work, and this delicious blog deserve to be shared.
Susan
My daughter is a social worker. She is self employed but contracts with an organization in Denver called the Alternate Defense Council. The work she does for them is a position that was created in collaboration with the Equal Justice Initiative. She works with her clients, who are in the prison system and awaiting trial, and cannot normally afford a lawyer, to make sure they get appropriate sentencing and any help they need. Most of them experienced trauma as children, often, and have never gotten any sort of help to deal with it. She works to get them that help. She often has to testify in court. (in fact it was her testimony in court on a case with the previous organization she worked for that caused the ADF to reach out to her and ask her to become a contractor for them.) She sees inequity in sentencing all the time and the ADF like the EJI is working to try and solve that.
In the meantime, tonight, the diverse suburb I live in was rocked by Rioting. There is such pain right now and it breaks my heart. This afternoon there was a very productive protest outside the police station, and our chief, a wonderful woman, came out to hug and pray with the protesters. Unfortunately after that, some groups split off and headed to a different area of town where the problems ended up occurring. As I sit here tonight, heartbroken by all these events the past month and years, unable to sleep, because my city, the place I have called home my entire life, has been hit hard by unrest, I try to understand how it would feel to go through life feeling oppressed and trivialized. I think back to when my son learned to drive. I remember him asking me why I didn’t have the “how to behave if the cops pull you over” conversation like some of his minority friends had with their parents. It was because I never even thought to. It never even crossed my mind that he might get killed by a police officer during a traffic stop. I never had to worry about him going out for a run through nearby neighborhoods and not coming back. I never had to worry about him or my daughter being treated differently in the mall or a restaurant because of the color of their skin or ethnicity. The truth will always be that I can try to imagine but can never understand what others who go through this feel and experience and how that can build up inside until it just explodes in anger and frustration and more. All I can do is try not to contribute to the problems and examine my own attitudes and bias (everyone has some sort of bias) and be aware of them so I can try to work on them and not act on them. I can also know that I have two kids who are trying to solve some of these issues in the areas they work in. And I can hope that their generation continues to make a difference and does better at this than those that came before them. I truly hope that this all will become a catalyst for change, for the better. Because change does need to happen.
Carlene Brown
Joy, your comments about the LA riots took me straight back ~20 years – and brought up the intensity of those emotions once again. Our experience was very similar. I enjoy following your posts and look back fondly on your friendship with my daughter, Elisabeth, at LACES. FYI, she would love to reconnect with you.
Bonnie Hobbs
Hi, Joy,
I just wanted to send you some love and comforting hugs.
Kimberly
Hi Joy. You are appreciated. You are loved. We haven’t met, but I do consider you a friend. In lighter news and thoughts, I think you shared “You May Want to Marry My Husband” in a Sunday Things post back in like, 2017? I recently read her husband’s book in response, “My Wife Said You May Want to Marry Me” and it’s beautiful. If you haven’t read it, it felt like something you’d like.
And as many above me have said, I was waiting to see what you’d say in this post. We’re all hurting and I appreciate your willingness to speak about it all in any capacity. You are seen. You are loved. May God be with you.
Fonda
Like the others ahead of me, I just want to say I appreciate you for spreading joy to us all each week. Thank you for being such a lovely human
Zita
Thank you once again Joy for making my Sunday morning. Every week I look forward to what I will find in Let It Be Sunday. Today I’m sticking to some of the lighter offerings. Everything else is overwhelming. I will come back to the difficult ones later in the week. You can always be counted on to provide insight and intelligence in difficult times. Wishing you a peaceful and healthy week. Hugs and love to you and your family.
Terry
Joy, thank you again for Let it Be Sunday. This sadness of this week cannot be quantified. You get to decide what you want to say and how and when to say it. If people are calling you out on Instagram the problem is truly theirs not yours, Just be you.
Helen Schulman
Joy, I’ve been reading your blog for years for your warmth grace great recipes love and light. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You are a gift to all of us
Sarah
Being “called out” on social media by people who have no idea who you are, what you do, and your valuable personal mission, is exactly, precisely what is wrong with not only social media but in a nutshell what is wrong with this country. Ignorant tribalism is not only tolerated but encouraged, even whipped up, by those who would manipulate others for their own agendas – agenda which include politics that should have died after WWII. I don’t know what will stop this because, frankly, IMO in this country as in so many others we have passed the point of no return. I am just deeply thankful that as I am by the weight of decades at the end of my “second line” now, I won’t live to see the eventual outcome of what we have brought upon ourselves.
Prissy
Good Morning All,
I lost any sense of bigotry when I worked in the juvenile detention industry. As someone who grew up in a very white suburb, it was the first time in my life white people were the minority. I worked with 85% black young men.
When I woke to the fact that the very system I was serving was unbalanced, unfair, and wasn’t rehabilitating anyone. And there was no white suburban youth serving time, just poor inner-city kids. The injustice was right there in my face. It became a personal journey to call out people who tend to be free with their bigotry.
Now its front and center for all to see.
You don’t have to rage about race relations on Instagram. We know injustice is real! We know its wrong and we know how to fix it. But we can’t fix it using the same old bigots who use the dog whistles of bigotry to call their followers to action. And you can put money that some in the crowd, starting fires, breaking into stores are agent provocateurs. I hope they are caught and the media makes it known who they are.
Enough on that. I cook/bake/grill because I find it relaxes me, challenges me and keeps me balanced.
I’m not feeling balanced right now! My kitchen is a mess -waiting for countertops (next Wed) and tile (we are working on this today) Man, I can’t wait to get in there and create! Everyone stay safe, Ms. Priss
nancy k
I agree with a comment from above…your parents must be very special to have raised you into the insightful, thoughtful, wise woman that your are. I believe our energy recycles in the Universe…returning to learn lessons… and in the concept of “old souls”. You seem to me to be an “old soul”. Perhaps that is why you are able to connect so readily with people you have never met and feel their friendship.
I so look forward to your Sunday Posts. Thank you for sharing yourself with us
Finally, my heart aches this morning for every parent of an black or brown child. Knowing that George Floyd called out for his mother with his last breathes his mother, who had passed from this earth 18 months ago, made me understand as I never have before, the terror those parents must endure on a daily basis. I don’t know how this will change but I do know it needs to or we will not survive as a nation.
SJ
Joy, thank you for the honest and compelling post. I do want to flag the 1619 Project, which although perhaps well-intentioned, has been scrutinized for promoting key inaccuracies and historical characterizations. I think there are far more factually-sound resources out there.
joythebaker
Thank you for the flag, SJ.
Babs
Joy, I look forward to your Sunday posts every week. Thank you.
I find it interesting that posting about current events on Instagram is considered by some a requirement. This week a dear friend lost her grandmother and was told by her employer her job was in jeopardy; a person in our social circle who was unaware of these developments DM’d her to tell her she found her silence on Instagram to be “silently condoning police brutality.” For me, it was a reminder that none of us know what’s going on in a person’s life, especially now that many of us are isolated in our homes and may be far from support networks. More importantly, shaming someone about social media activity is a distraction from the larger issues.
Darla Layton
Good morning Joy, and to all fortunate enough to connect with you each week. I find myself in a bit of a funk. A heavy heart and emotions all over the place. These are very troubling times. I am working hard to see the gifts in each day: reading outside with the sun shining. Warm biscuits for breakfast, with butter and jam. Time spent with loved ones, and missing the ones I can’t be with right now. I KNOW this time is a harsh reality, and time for all of us to learn, and decide what is truly important; not only to ourselves, but to mankind. A time to pause and reflect. We will get through this! We always do. I pray each of us uses our voice.
Thank you, Joy, for showing up, especially in these difficult times. We truly appreciate you.
Cherelle
I usually comment on Instagram but read this almost every week! Since your making sweet potatoes for a pie, try baking them a la Deb pearl man. Her slow roasted sweet potatoes are divine. Love you love this and hope to one day make it to the bake house, friend!
Cheryl
The mental image of hundreds,if not thousands,of people dropping to the ground, with heads turned,arms held tight behind and crying out for 9 minutes I can’t breathe will remain with me forever.Along with the image of a library burning.To me the non violence of that group spoke loud and clear of the pain and fear blacks live with on a daily basis. To you and all the others that have been touched by hatred I sent love.
Thank you for the wisdom you share with us each week, food for thought to help us get through another week.
Chrissie Allen
Joy, like others have said, be you. I come here every Sunday because I love to catch up with you, see what is going on, dream about a bake house class and see what you are reading. These are unusual times and some folks are lashing out. Because you are Joy, others will be jealous. Be you and be well.
Vicki
A few weeks ago I rolled the shopping cart out of Trader Joe’s and tried to load the groceries into my car. I was a bit close to the space line and the car next to me was way too close on the other side. I noticed a lady inside on her phone and figured she was going to leave. She waved, backed her car out and then, cranked over a bit and pulled back in. As she got out of her car she said “I’m so sorry. I thought there’s no way this poor lady is going to be able to get those groceries into that car.” To say I was stunned was an understatement. I thanked her profusely and told her never in my whole life had anyone done that before. She was delightful and we had a fun little chat. She was a younger black gal, I am an older white gal. We had a moment that I will remember as one of kindness and consideration for the rest of my life. Fast forward to yesterday in the same Trader Joe’s and an elderly white woman was bossing a young black woman to move off the designated waiting mark. It began to get heated and the younger gal asked the checker if she could move up to the register because this lady was harassing her. The checker went against store policy and allowed her to move forward. The older woman toddled on back to the end of the line, I don’t know if it was her first time to Trader Joe’s and she didn’t understand the unique check out set up, but here’s what was sad….. The younger gal turned and stopped purposely as she exited the store and called the older woman an obscenity. I get it. The older woman was completely rude and out of place, literally and figuratively. And that’s the tipping point, when injustice boils over into rage. We all lose. No matter our color of skin, our culture, our faith if we have one, we all lose out on being the best part of being human and become the worst.
Whitney
Vicki, why did you feel the need to share this story? And why is the sad part to you that the Black woman called the rude white woman an obscenity?
Amy
Whitney- I read the sad part as being the injustice getting the young woman to the “tipping point”, not her actions.
Whitney
Well, that is a very generous reading on your behalf
Alison
Please just imagine for a second, Vicki, that the young woman experiences this same thing in EVERY single store she goes into. Think about the toll that takes on a person just trying to live.
Rebecca
A belated birthday post honoring the beauty you bring to the world today and everyday. I don’t know how I found your blog, but I am so grateful that I did. Your wisdom and compassion, especially as evidenced in your Sunday posts, are so inspiring. Thank you for the sweet recipes and the rich challenges. Have a wonderful year, Joy. You are so well-named. I look forward to sharing the journey with you.
Natalie C.
I second this, love me some Joy! Wishing you a beautiful 39th year. You are a gift to your readers.
Dee
Am giving your parents a shout out this morning, Joy…..they got it right….
God bless and protect us all….
Erin
Agree with you 100%!
Jayme Brown
People really need to STOP WORRYING about what everyone else is doing and start paying attention to what THEY are doing. How AM I inspiring change? How AM I making a difference? As if your followers don’t already know that you would be devastated by all the terrible news this week, as anyone with a heart and some empathy and compassion would. There’s a lot who don’t. People need to focus on those who don’t. Thank you for your insight and dedication, as always.
Cathie
I have unfollowed every white instagram influencer that has not spoken up about George Floyd and the racial injustice in this country. It is not the job of Black people to educate us white people. It is our job to educate ourselves and other white people so we can stand with Black people to change America. We alone need to use our privilege to change injustice to justice.
Robyn
While that is your right, please remember, like Joy those influencers have life stories the public is not privy to. As a daughter of retired police officers, I am horrified by what a small number of officers are doing. We as humans must respect each other, show compassion and understanding.
Leanne
Yes, thank you Robyn. Instagram is not the only way people can choose to address serious issues, in fact – throwing it up on instagram and calling it “achieved” is what i feel like a lot of people are doing. Judging someone based on their IG (unless it is of course partaking in racism or such) should not be what we have come to. The world could use less “influencers” anyways.
Joy – I always look forward to your posts, even with some trepidation as they often have very hard, thought provoking or uncomfortable pieces in them. Thank you for being brave enough to share them. I don’t cruise the internet looking for them (particularly as i am Canadian and following American news is crazy making) but i know i’ll find them here each Sunday. Thank you.
Suzannah Kolbeck
It’s so strange to be grieving and mourning in a nation that has consistently had blood on its hands since its founding, but there we are. I have wondered about the lack of posts on Instagram not addressing the deaths of George Floyd and others (not necessarily from you but from others), and your post is a good reminder that many people have stories we don’t know and it’s important to ask questions first or at the very least offer some compassion.
As a writer myself, I am struggling with posting about food and other things when the killing of black folks by police is ongoing and ever-present. Trying to find a balance.
rebecca shriver
You keep being you because you’re wonderful! I look forward to enjoying this friendly chat from you every Sunday morning with my coffee. (The recipes are pretty awesome too!) Thank you and hugs.
Shona
Hi Joy, Thank you for your wonderful Sunday offering this week. They pop into my mailbox around 9pm Sunday evening and I enjoy your curation. I live in New Zealand. I am a Kiwi. I read with horror about the murder of George Floyd and felt sick to my stomach. I watched with gob smacked amazement the video of Amy Cooper. I am a Pakeha New Zealander, privileged to wake up every day with a white skin.. I read Just Mercy last year with my bookclub- I winced a lot while reading it. Thank you for everything that you do. And the baking as well. We have opposite seasons. I am waking these mornings to frosty whiteness. Strong hug.
DPLK
Happy belated birthday, Joy! ?
You have never shied away from a difficult subject; I was looking forward to this Let it be Sunday because I knew this is where you would bring the conversation about what’s going on right now. Like you said, those people must not know anything about you to think you needed to say something prove anything. You’ve always been having this conversation about race and other difficult subjects week in and week out, and highlighting tough reads all year long. We all need to be more like you.
Suki
So much has happened this week, all so sad and frightening. And so, I’m commenting on how lovely those flowering bushes are. Is this in your backyard? We need simple beauty right now.
Thank you Joy, and happy belated.
Pamela
Joy, thank you! I’ve been reading your Let It Be Sunday post for years now. I appreciate all the love you pour into these posts. I’m tearing up as I’m writing to you. This is incredibly hard. I just love you! And wanted to say thank you.