Hi friends! It feels like a long time since I’ve gotten to chat with you. Not a big deal, I was just helping produce the best little camp cookbook this side of the planet.
Turns out my summer bucket list is exactly one thing: survive. I’m not even sure I’m doing that well. I’ve been casually flipping my life upside down (because at this point it seems like I enjoy this). I’ve moved, my writing career is coasting gently forward and I. am. EXHAUSTED. But it’s the good tired that lets me know good things are happening. Amidst all the crazy, I am learning to swim! I’ve never learned to swim, but 37 seems like a solid age to start right? I knew you’d agree. We start every class with something called “bobs.” It consists of taking a deep breath and sinking under the surface, while pushing air out of your nose. It is to acclimate yourself to exhale, and helps you meditate at the same time. In the first class, I panicked. I should breathe in! But breathing in equals swallowing water and… dying. What?!
Lately, my life feels like a series of “bobs.” I disappear under the surface, flail, and come back up for air. At the moment, I am in an incredible place in my life – it feels like I have pointed it in a direction I did not think was possible, in the best way. Happiness, even total contentment, feels… terrifying. Stemming from a place of feeling undeserving, I have to unlearn that instinct. It feels about the same as learning to swim – going against a survival skill that no longer serves me.
For those who are also feeling it all lately, you’re not alone friend. I see you. I got you. And I hope this Sunday is easy – here are some links to ease you in.
• This little intro is part of a larger piece I wrote about learning to swim. It has truly been an experience and I’m grateful to be able to write about it, if you want to mosey on over to my website, no big deal. (abbyblujay)
• Beyoncé is in my city this weekend and though I’m not seeing her until New Orleans, my spirit is alive just knowing she’s occupying the same air as I am. People really forget I’m a super-fan, but never fear I will always remind you. My favorite villain blogger and JtB team member, Kim, was sent to Renaissance Tour (presumably by a higher power) and got to write about it. I cried. (Nashville Scene)
• BARBIE-heimer has arrived! For those who don’t know, BARBIE and Oppenheimer premiered on the same day and have been merged together, forever to be remembered as BARBIE-HEIMER. It is to the point that people are seeing is as a quasi double feature. Personally, I think seeing Oppenheimer first followed by BARBIE is the correct order, but that would make it OPPEN-ARBIE and no one wants that. (CNN)
• My newest clothing obsession is Anthropologie’s sale room – that magical room in the back of Anthropologie that holds wonders and almost always 40% off the sale price. I have found every drawer pull in my house from there. Embarrassing yet triumphant story, I tried on this skirt thinking it was a dress, confidently pulling it up over my boobs. When I came out of the dressing room the attendant quietly said, “Baby… that’s a skirt.” Anyways, I bought it and plan on wearing as a dress.
• I made the mistake of saying that I read as many fantasy romances as I can get my hands on and now I must tell you which ones. I finally finished the Court of Thorns & Roses series only to start another epic series immediately. What can I say, I love a theme. I also just started The Joy Luck Club, which has somehow slipped my reading grasp until now! I am excited to read it. Fantasy readers, give me all of your suggestions please! (Bookshop.org)
• Tony Bennett, aside from being in the classic crooner category, seemed like the sweetest, most gentle person. Is it weird that I loved his relationship with Lady Gaga? They seem like the bestest friends, it always tugged at my heart. However, hearing about his civil rights work is new to me. May his memory always be a blessing. (Pro tip: if you put your browser in “reader mode” it will let you read the entire article!) (Washington Post)
• Toby talked about not gatekeeping beauty secrets in her Sunday post and it got my mind running around scents I love. Le Labo makes a few of my favorites, Lys 41, Santal 33, and Another 13. Recently, I’ve added YSL’s Le Capeline to the signature rotations, which smells like the most sophisticated floral without the great-grandma reputation. I had to save every single penny but they’ve been worth it, promise. The best compliment I’ve ever gotten was, “You smell like a field of French flowers!” I passed out. (Joy the Baker, Nordstrom)
• Choosing food has been weirdly hard lately. Thank goodness I know a gal who has the best recipes. I am adding Joy’s watermelon salad to my rotation this week and it’s preemptively the best decision I’ll make! (Joy the Baker)
• This is a regular affirmation to my cat Wylie, followed by 7000 kisses. He’s a fan, I’m sure. (TikTok)
Samantha
I’m loving all the recommendations in the comments. These are my kind of books. :-) Try Laini Taylor! I love the Daughter of Smoke and Bone series or Stranger the Dreamer. So good! Or the Graceling series by Kristin Cashore.
Abby Mallett
Huge fan of Strange the Dreamer! I’m hoping the third book releases soon! I couldn’t get into Daughter of Smoke and Bone but that was at the beginning of my fantasy journey – I’m gonna try again!!
Emily Nadine Beach
Yes to fantasy romance!! I upvote all “Fourth Wing” recommendations, and also add the “Legendborn” series by Tracy Deonn and the “Once Upon a Broken Heart” series by Stephanie Garber for consideration. They are both unfinished series though, so be prepared to pine whilst waiting to find out what happens. If you like “dark academia” type romantasy, I would also recommend the “Scholomance” series by Naomi Novik and “Shades of Magic” by V.E. Schwab (of Addie LaRue fame). Happy reading!!
Abby Mallett
I just screamed a little bit. The Legendborn series IS ONE OF MY FAVES. I’m definitely adding “Fourth Wing” to my list I can’t wait. These are fantastic recs thank you!!
Jaclyn Levy
I love your Sunday lists! I look forward to reading every single link here. I received my Camp Joy mini magazine and read it in one sitting. I will be trying every single recipe whether it’s camping or simply out on my driveway. ? I WILL conquer charcoal cooking this summer!
Ali
Hello, fantasy novels are the best! The two other series by Sarah J. Maas are good, especially throne of glass. Fourth Wing was worth reading. I also liked the Ember in the Ashes series by Sabaa Tahir. The priory of the orange tree was so long at times but I liked it too.
TJ Klune is also a new favorite now.
Marcy
Congrats on learning to swim! I was scared to death of water and decided at age 39 to learn to swim. I’m so glad I conquered my fear and did it.
Pherooz
What a fantastic description of your swimming lessons and life itself. I’ve been considering swimming lessons (at a bit older age than you) and this has tipped me over! Signing up when I return from vacation.
I love love that skirt as a dress! Just think you now have 2 items of clothing in 1!
MaggieToo
Skirt can be dress. Ice cream can be dinner. New rules.
Virginia Ewbank
It’s technically a young adult series, but the fantasy series that starts with Inkheart is amazing, truly. It’s by Cornelia Funke and is a trilogy.
Ellen
Hi Abby and all!
The House in the Cerulean Sea by TJ Klune is a delightful, exciting, special, sad & very happy fantasy read! Try it…I promise you’ll like it!
Abby Mallett
TJ Klune is one of my favorites!! Read Under the Whispering Door if you haven’t yet. I cried for both books
Jen
Reader mode, WHAT?! Game changer.
Gayle Snyder
not sure how to do Reader Mode?
Abby Mallett
Usually, where you type in the web address there’s a little box next to it that looks like a tiny notepad. It’ll put it into a kind of Kindle reader mode where you can make the text larger and smaller. For Washington Post articles it allows you to read them passing the paywall!
Kate
I LOVE, LOVE that you found a DRESS where a skirt previously existed. We should all be so clever and open. Go Forth and Look Fabulous.
Paula
I hear ya about the “life lately is a bunch of bobs”—going down then coming back up for air! I’m doing the same darn thing ?, so thanks for posting about it. BTW, I love your guest blog posts the best so keep them coming….also LOL YES go wear that Anthropologie (I love love love Anthropologie too!) skirt as a dress because I agree—it’s too long as a skirt and would look wonderful as a dress!!! And keep on swimming, you can do it!
Kim
Oh, never mind that article is by you! Kudos, Abby!
Kim
Abby, thought you would enjoy this article on learning to swim at age 37- apparently it’s a thing! I tip my hat to you!
julia lutz
It is NEVER too late to learn how to swim. Being in the soup of our mother earths ocean is always a good thing. Whether it be a bath, a pool, a pond or lake you should feel the freedom of water. Good choice for your summer bucket list! Brava!
Katy
I have fantasy recs!! If you’re looking for more epics, NK Jemisin is fantastic. For historical fantasy, I love Naomi Novik’s Temeraire series (it gets outshone by her Deadly Education series lately, but I still think it’s great). Quirky, absurdist sense of humor is best done by Sir Terey Pratchett. The best YA fantasy authors I’ve read have been Tamora Pierce and Judy I. Lin. For fantasy with some romance, Daughter of the Moon Goddess.
I don’t read a ton of romance-specific fantasy, but I’m always happy to get people into my fave genre ???
Katy
Ugh, cell phone typos. Sir Terry* Pratchett, and there should be emojis instead of question marks!
Abby Mallett
I read Daughter of the Moon Goddess it was wonderful! I will check out your other recs, thank you!!
Erin A
Fantasy/sci-if series recommendation from my teen son: ANYTHING by Brandon Sanderson but especially Warbreaker and anything in the Cosmere. Or stuff by Brent Weeks. I am also on book 3 of Suzanne Palmer’s Finder series and cannot believe she isn’t more well-known. Well written, exciting, funny and fun! We love Neal Shusterman’s Scythe series dearly but it can be a bit… heavy, especially in times like these. ??
Laura
Am I sitting on a patio at my local breakfast place crying because of how beautiful your description of your swim lessons are, Abby? The power we harness when we decide that, yep, I’m gonna do the thing that scares me because I want to do it more than it scares me. Thank you for sharing and reminding me of this truth.
Emily
I love your posts Abby! Whenever I see your writing pop up somewhere (like CupofJo) I think- “Hey- it’s my friend Abby!”
It’s so great and wonderfully brave you are learning to swim. Being a beginner is HUMBLING but worth it. One of my summer goals is to swim every chance I get and it’s been lovely.