I turn 39 today!
That’s a mind-bender of a sentence to type. The only person it might be weirder for is my mom as we seem to be, someway somehow, approaching the same age. I stopped my mom’s age somewhere between 45 and 48. She’s older now and thriving thankfully, but if forced to say her true age I wouldn’t have it in me because I simply don’t know. 60’s? It’s much easier to just pause at an age and mature gracefully from there. So… it’s odd that my mom and I are approaching the same age and I’ll just let it be that way. Most miracles can’t be explained.
Over the past few quarantine months? years? millennial? I’ve received emails from so many of you detailing how you first came upon Joy the Baker in the Mocha Coffee Cake days 12 years ago… back when you were in high school, or law school, or living with five other girls at University. It’s incredible, we both agree, the things that stay constant amidst the changes 12 years can bring. You tell me how you’re married with children and your life has changed completely but you still come here, and I still come here and truly we seems to have grown up together. I can’t tell you just how much these emails blow me away.
We’ve done so much in these twelve years. I’ve detailed a lot of those loves and moves and thoughts here along with recipes. You’ve had your own loves, and moves and big deal things alongside those recipes. We’re connected. It’s like we pinky swore a long time ago.
In some ways though… can I be candid? I feel left behind. Like I surely should have figured out a marriage and family by now and how could I figure out so much nonsense, so many different chocolate chip cookies, but not that important… like, very important thing?
Those thoughts are as scary as you might imagine. Maybe you’ve had or have them, too. But here’s the thing- those thoughts only creep in when I’m only thinking about the things that feel missing… (is missing even the right word?). And really, the things that feel missing are so few in comparison to the things that are present and available and bountiful.
There are reminders everywhere of the bounty around me, around all of us. Even here and now, in… “these times” as people are saying. This year, and really for the past few, I tried everyday to take limits off myself – to have as many lives, in this one life, as I can. To be curious about everything that crosses my path. That means I paint badly, practice archery in my backyard poorly, play piano much worse than I did when I was a teenager – all while laughing at myself heartily, and getting frustrated, and getting better centimeter by centimeter.
That’s where I’m at this year. I’m setting aside the small story I have in my head about my life and just doing it all – everything that sparks a sparkle is worth doing badly, then less badly, then maybe almost well. On repeat.
“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” – Joseph Campbell
And I just feel like who we are is so much bigger than what we let ourselves imagine.
That’s what I think this year. Next year, without doubt, will be and feel different. That’s the wonder of it all.
Here’s what I’ve thought in many years past…. oh geez. Oh geez. Hello, I’m 38 // This is 35 // Thirty-Two // Thirty.
I bought myself a piano for my birthday. I just… stopped waiting.
Thank you for being here with such loyalty and kindness.
My love to you!
xo Joy
PS. This post went live two days early because of my very own human error. Thatโs the way of it sometimes. Lol forever.
178 Responses
Happy birthday! I feel you so hard on this, Joy. I DID discover this beautiful space while I was in law school 11 years ago. And Iโve had so many adventures, baking and otherwise, since. But I feel you on the โam I behindโ worries that creep in. A number of years ago I got married and then the year after that, unmarried. And I moved back home and started over! I did all sorts of cool jobs, but now 7 years after law school is the first time Iโm working as a lawyer. And now that I am a lawyer, Iโm mostly just dreaming of the day I can run a small b&b, gourmet shop, event space goat farm. Wouldnโt that be amazing? Anyway, I love Joseph Campbell forever and Iโm also reminded of the scene in Somethingโs Gotta Give where Amanda Peet says sheโs never had the time of her life and her mom, Diane Keaton says, โwhat are you waiting for?โ The last few years, Iโve decided to start having the time of my life on the regular. You are beautiful and an inspiration and know that other girls are out there cheering for you as we all
just try to figure it out. Also, your Zoom biscuit class was amazing!
Happy Birthday Joy!! Have a glorious birthday!! Thank you for keeping us all informed with the goings on in the world each week and all the delightful recipes! You are a special person so enjoy your day!
Reading this one week later. Happy birthday Joy. Sending you much much love. โBehindโ is only the expectations that society and then inevitably we set for ourselves. Take it breath by breath. So happy for you exploring all the different things you find interesting. Iโve been pondering what my 5 Nataliaโs are and slowly figuring it out. As always thanks for inspiring xoxo
I’m late reading this but I loved your words here. There was a kind of poetry to them. I especially loved this line: “And I just feel like who we are is so much bigger than what we let ourselves imagine. ” <3
I'm not sure when exactly I started reading your blog, or how I found you, but it's been at least 9 or 10 years. Crazy! :)
Wishing you all the best for the coming year!
Happy birthday, Joy! You’re almost exactly 10 years older than I am (another Gemini within days of your birthday) and I’ve been reading your birthday posts for the last 6 years. And each year, I’ve found immense comfort and grounding in them. You manage to put moments both big and small into perspective. You find meaning in the good and the bad. After a particularly challenging year, I was so happy to come back here and find this birthday post. Happy, 39th! You are total light.
Happy birthday Joy! I turned 60 in January, and it seems oddly impossible. I know the years have passed, all 60 of them, but it’s still…strange. I just can’t be 60, isn’t that “old”? Shouldn’t I feel different than I have all the previous years? And because 60 was so big to me, I decided an Amber Rose short shave was on the list, I was so tired of constantly styling and spending time on my hair…I didn’t go full Amber Rose, but I went short, and I love it! AND me and my husband moved to South Carolina from California. We were both born and raised in SoCal but were no longer happy there, so when I was about to turn 60, I said something has to change…I mean if not now, when? We got here 3 weeks ago, and absolutely love the beauty, the people and our home. It’s the best thing we ever did for ourselves. Now I’m working on how to leave the job I’ve had for 16 years and brought with me from SoCal.
Keep moving forward, you’re doing a great job, I wish we’d started sooner in living our dreams.
Sherry
Happy birthday, Joy! One thing that I wish I’d known earlier (I’m 51) is how much better everything gets emotionally as I age. I was married at 33 (out of a feeling that It Was Time), divorced, and remarried at 48. I know so much more about myself and what’s important to me than when I was younger.
We’re not guaranteed anything, but try to give yourself the gift of time and letting things happen when you’re ready. <3
I’ve also been following you for years, but it was actually your Avocado Chocolate Cake that first drew me to your page, and I’ve never left. We’re roughly the same age – I’ve got 2.5 years on you, and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed growing up iwth you, and your recipes and your ramblings for all these years. I’m belated in offering you a happy birthday, but I hope you have a wonderful you and don’t stop being you.
Itโs the day before my 34th birthday and I, like the sweet emailers you have mentioned, feel like Iโve grown up with you (salted caramel cheesecake pie for the girl who was terrified to try to make a full-on cheesecake, hello!). Thank you for writing such a relatable ode to growing up on your own journey, and finding joy in the things that you have and not seeking to fill the spaces youโve been taught to believe are the โwithoutโ. Cheers to a good year!
Happy birthday Joy! It is truly a joy to read your posts and recipes. You live a beautiful, blessed life. May the year ahead bring you the best that life has to offer. Live, love and sparkle!
Happy Birthday! That is so cool that you bought yourself a piano! My husband and I bought my eldest sibling a keyboard for her birthday a few years ago. I have respect (and jealousy!) for those with musical talent and desire.) continue to learn and grow with the gift of each new day????
Oh Joy! Happiest of birthdays to you. Youโre right, itโs a weird, wild, beautiful world we live in. I also have that โmissingโ thing youโre talking about and I worry not only about it, but also about how afraid I am that it colors the rest of my world as it is now. Iโm inspired by your plans to do everything, exactly right or not. Itโs a short ride around here and timeโs a-wasting. – Katie. PS. Of all the bloggers I used to follow, youโre the only one Iโve kept. ??
Happy birthday! Single Lady Pancake is still the only recipe I know by heart!
Joy,
Wishing you a happy birthday (belatedly, but with such gratitude for your contributions to our “joy” and with the best wishes for a wonderful year ahead).
Enjoy your beautiful piano and all of the magic that comes your way.
And those of us who married and raised a baby and never got to see just how far we could have made it in our career look at a life like yours and share your same curiosity about the grass on the other side of the fence.
Happy birthday, You have done very, very, very well.
Happy birthday, Joy!
Love reading your thoughtful posts and have done so for years. Wishing you all the best and thank you for bringing sunshine into the world. A virtual hug (all the way from southern Germany)!
:)
Happy Birthday Joy! I met you several years (lifetimes) ago and it is still one of my favorite days ever. Each post from you feels like a letter from a friend. So from one friend to another, thank you for showing up for us every dang day. You are a gift! And I know you mention feeling left behind. Please know that you have shown this 30-something gal what it looks like to be your own dang hero in your life. And how to live fully and loudly and proudly in your own skin, every day. With or without a partner. It is truly an inspiration! Though I will always be hoping that you and Tron find someone worthy of living life with you. If only to fill those sparse lonely moments. Sending love and light to you on your birthday! (a few days late. This is my own human error.)
Happy Birthday, Joy! You’re not alone in feeling like whoa…I had so much fun with the little things, did I miss those big things? I guess it all just comes in its own time.
I like the way you put this Rachel.
Happy Birthday, Joy! I’m turning 39 in about 3 weeks too and your post makes me feels so positive and hopeful.
Happy birthday Joy! I’m rapidly approaching 30 (one month and a few days to go!) and also assessing where my life is now, compared to where I thought I’d be. I’m still single, child-free, renting instead of owning, and driving a shitty car. I only started a decent job/career 1 year ago. All that said, I am happy, healthy, I love my friends, I love my rental house, I love my cat, and I love my life! Even as we are all isolating, I can’t be too sad about approaching what feels like a milestone birthday with my life this good
Happy birthday, Joy! I hope you enjoyed delicious treats!
Your little corner of the internet is one of my favorite places. Thank you for that!
Happy birthday, “Joy the Baker!” (This is how I say your name always when I recommend one of your recipes to a friend or tell my family who inspired my baking.)
Your site continues to be such a beacon of hope and loveliness and deliciousness. Thank you for sharing it all with us. I hope this year brings you many beautiful surprises.
Happy Birthday! I rarely subscribe to blogs but you have been enriching my life for the last six years and I am so grateful for your weekly posts and thoughtful approach to the world. Your recipes have transformed our family menu and made me more willing to explore in the kitchen. Life is an amazing adventure and it is always a blessing to find kindred souls out there. Keep on keeping on! I look forward to more Bakehouse classes and great thoughts in 2020.
Happy Birthday, Joy! I’m two years behind you and always relate so much to your birthday posts (I had Thirty tacked up in my cubicle at work for several years). The feeling of being behind certainly resonates, and I think it maybe always will as I’ve chosen a somewhat non-traditional path – though I keep reminding myself that every path is different and maybe I don’t own a house with a garden and a cat yet, but I’ve lived and traveled in some amazing places and that certainly counts for something. I hope that this is a magical year for you and that all the love you put out into the world comes back ten-fold.
Happy Birthday, Joy! Thank you for letting us share the privilege that is you. You bring Joy to the world!
I wish you all the best Joy!! Happy birthday!!
Happy Birthday Joy, I have so much love for you and your life and what you bring to mine. I hope you have a fabulous year. Have you read Motherhood, by Sheila Heti? I read it this year (approaching 37 childless) and found it a worthwhile read. “The most womanly problem is not giving oneself enough space or time, or not being allowed it. We squeeze ourselves into the moments we allow, or the moments that have been allowed us. We do not stretch out in time, languidly, but allot ourselves the smallest parcels of time in which to exist, miserly.” I am so glad you follow the pursuits of your heart and share what comes of them with the world. You are very inspiring. Thank you!
Happy Birthday! This resonated with me so much–as much as I remind myself of how many blessings I do have and how fortunate I am, sometimes it just seems impossible not to think about the things that are “missing,” however insignificant they may (or should) be. I’ve come to realize that that’s ok; trying to ignore those nagging thoughts doesn’t do me any good. But what does do me good is just what you’ve been doing–leaning HARD into the good, here & now. So cheers to you doing all of those things in 39 & beyond!
You look absolutely friggin’ GORGEOUS in the main photo! Style icon. Happy birthday.
Happy birthday, Joy! On my college graduation day, two friends and I snuck out of festivities a bit early so we could catch you at Parnassus in Nashville. I still cherish that signed copy of Homemade Decadence and your part in that milestone for me! Thank you for treating your reader community so thoughtfully and well. XO
Happy Birthday! I love that your blog is still around; it seems that those from years ago have stopped blogging but you’re right. It’s like you have grown up with us just as we have with you even if we have been silent all these years (I swear I’m not creepy).
Also, as someone who’s 35 I’ve decided that waiting is overrated. Life is short. Just buy/do the thing! Your piano is beautiful!
Happy Birthday, and thank you for sharing yourself with us over all these years!
Happy Birthday! I feel you on the feeling left behind…I’m 42 and these last few years have been tough that way. But…here’s something my favorite woo-woo astrologist-teacher-type told me: oftentimes, old souls get married later in life. There’s a lot we need to learn and do on our own first. I’m choosing to believe it, because why not? Here’s to wrapping up the curriculum! :)
I, too, always contemplate my life and goals each year on my birthday. Having mostly worked with the elderly all of my Social Work career, I learned to embrace getting older because, as they told me often, the alternative was to be dead! I could relate to your feeling left behind about marriage and family (although I never wanted children). With each year I would acknowledge all I had accomplished, but not this one thing I wanted so badly. I remember sobbing with my therapist when she said I might have to accept that it might not happen. I was in my early 30โs. With each year that passed, it didnโt, and I got more accepting (but never lost my desire). And then I was 41 and went on a blind date and at 42 married my husband. In October we will celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. Iโm 67 now. You just never know!!! I would like to give some birthday/getting older/life advice which you are free to ignore, but there is much wisdom to be learned from those who have left a trail:
Take care of your health
Stay out of the sun
Save for retirement
Have an emergency fund
Pay off your house before you retire
Never lose your curiosity for life
Never rule out your Heartโs Desire?
Happy Birthday?
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays, Joy! Enjoy your piano.
Thank you, as always, for being candid. YES YOU CAN BE CANDID obviously. I’m a few years behind you but feeling the same way, so your words are reassuring and inspiring. The things that are present and available and bountiful – like time to reflect and learn and grow – now that’s what important. Happiest of birthdays to you, Joy.
Happy belated birthday Joy! Your piano is beautiful and I love that Bakehouse sign. I’m 30 and there’s plenty I wonder about not having figured out yet, same as you, and I also admire your entrepreneurial success/wish I had the career thing figured out. Thanks for keeping it real.
Happy Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday joy! What a beautiful post. Your cookbooks and this site brings me so much well…Joy! Hereโs to 39!
Happy birthday Joy! Thank you for inspiring us / me for years. Iโve always felt as if you were a distant penpal friend who kept in touch. Thank you for taking us along for your ride! I hope thus birthday brings something chocolate and possibly.a deliciously strong cocktail. Cheers!
Is there any way you can explain to me why you won’t publish my comments. I poured my heart into your birthday comment, and it’s not here. I have only treated you with respect. It would be nice if you treated me the same.
Happy birthday Joy. I too have been reading your blog for years – from before you moved to New Orleans. Iโm in England but love to read your thoughts from the US. Enjoy being 39. Iโm way past that, but life is still good. Stay safe x
Your Picture looks like a gal who loves to celebrate. We all need to celebrate ourselves. So go out and Celebrate Girl!!! Happy 39th Birthday. From now on you are 39 and holding.
I’ve enjoyed my first 39th birthday.
Is it strange that I take comfort in knowing we are the same age? Like you I’ve not yet managed to sort the marriage/babies thing, but I have lived a life full of other things that I am thankful for. I remind myself this when thoughts of what is missing creep in and I take comfort in knowing others do the same.
Thank you for honest thoughts, Sunday links, and seriously improving my biscuit game!
Happy birthday!
High-five Natasha. I take comfort in knowing you’re out there also kicking ass.
Happy Bithday, Joy! ?
Happy Birthday, Joy! I turn 40 on Tuesday the 26th, and your post gave words to many of the things Iโve been reflecting on. Thank you for your recipes and Sunday posts! ??
Happy birthday! And thank you for this: “I just feel like who we are is so much bigger than what we let ourselves imagine.” Resonated today. (Also, not for nothing…I STARTED learning piano in my mid-50s, so imagine how much better you are, having played it earlier in your life!)
This is beautiful
happy birthday!
Happy belated birthday, Joy!!! So glad you bought yourself the piano.
Happy birthday Joy! Beautiful piano – enjoy it ??
Happy birthday!!! I;m not from the States, I haven’t been following for 12 years, I wasn’t in college with my girlmates when I started following you, I”m 42 now and not married with children :-) I can’t remember how long I’ve been following you actually (5 or 6 years? Perhaps more?). I really enjoy your blog corner, I really enjoy your instagram stories. I just want to wish the best! I think you have figured it out so well how to embrace life and it’s inspirational to us as well! Hope you’ll have a great day! Greetings from Greece xx
Happy (belated?) Birthday. Even though i ravelry cook your food (not because it doesn’t appeal, just because i am a vegan and also sometimes very mich afraid of sugar and fat) i love your blog and have been coming here for a long time. Your writing speaks to me and i hope you had cake and wine for your birthday. Take care
Happy birthday Joy! I haven’t read any food blogs in so long – maybe 5 years – but I’ve been editing my bookmarks and stopped in to see how it’s going. I’m sorry you haven’t found marriage or kids – I remember some of your relationship stories and they reminded me of myself 15 years ago, when it was so hard for me to align my faith and relationships with non-Christians. Eventually, I took things out of my hands, and gave them to God, which for me looked like signing up for eharmony and refining my search for just those who shared my faith. I was married to the love of my life a year later and now we have three beautiful girls. I’m not saying this is your story, or what you need to do, but it might be some food for thought. You are so full of life, intelligence, and joy – you deserve someone as amazing as you are – he just might not be who you’d pick for yourself and, that’s sometimes a good thing, cause I know I was picking all wrong. Much love to you!
Happy birthday Joy! Wishing you a year of wonderful and things that spark those sparks. I tried to think back to when I first started reading here. It was just around the first year and it was such fun reading through the then archive. I was back in college, with wonderful roommates who looked forward to your posts as much as I. Iโm just half a year into 39, and itโs nothing like the life 28 year old me would have pictured. And I love it so much. I feel that left behind bit some days too, and for me itโs usually that list that 20 something me made up. If only she knew then all the other wonderful possibilities. Thank you so much for your writing and sharing your genius. You inspire.
Happy Birthday, lovely Joy! Thank you for your wonderful writing and for sharing your adventures with us. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t adore you. I hope you had a fantastic day!
Happy birthday Joy! That quote from Joseph Campbell is incredible and definitely going up on the wall
Thank you for always sharing so much of yourself here. I was watching your Insta stories the other day when your piano was delivered and loved how you talked about making your own dreams come true. I needed to hear that! Happiest of birthdays to you, may 39 bring so many good things X
Happy Birthday! I’m grateful for the goodness you offer the world.
Happy Birthday! Congrats on the piano! Glad you stopped waiting…
I am one of those readers who started reading living in an apartment with five other people in college. All these years later we are all a bit wiser and older. I love all that you write and itโs my dream to come visit you in the bakehouse.
Fun story, after your first book came out, I drove from Madison to Chicago for the book signing. I waited in line with my hubby who just laughed at my excitement. I finally got to the front. You were super sweet. I was so shell shocked I said almost nothing, blubbered some nonsense about peanut butter and ran away. My hubby still teases me that he has NEVER seen me that shy.
Happy Birthday Joy! I hope your day is wonderful, magical, and full of biscuits <3
Happiest of birthday weekends to you! Wishing you so much sparkle and joy in the year to come — you are most deserving.
Happy birthday Joy! I too turn 39 in just under a month. I have been following you since the beginning and I have the obligatory marriage, child and a house but I still find myself searching for something more sometimes. I have been trying to live more in the moment, be more present because like you say what I have is so much too!
I have always loved your writing because it is so warm and inviting, like I am talking to a best friend. Keep doing more than of that, and I’ll be here cheering you on. Hope you have a very happy birthday!
Happiest birthday, Joy!
Happiest of Birthdays to you, dear Joy. Thank you for taking us along on your journey and sharing your light. I remember laughing at myself the first time I looked at my wished-for husband and beautiful child and, while loving them immensely, longing for the old days when I lived with my best friend in a cool city. Itโs taken me years to figure out that I should savor the course of life that Iโm on right now rather than dreaming that the entree must be next. Iโm so glad you got yourself that piano, girl. Savor every bite thatโs in front of you.
Happy Birthday!!!!!
Happy Birthday Joy..Enjoy your adventures and have a fabulous year!!
AHH! 39, That was a great year for me. I have been through several decades. I liked the 60’s …senior discount!. I’m not sure which decade I will choose for my birthday this time. I plan to enjoy them all. YOU DO THE SAME
HAPPPY BIRTH DAY.
Wishing you a very happy birthday, Joy. I guess I am in the same age bracket as your ageless Mum and so glad I saw your blog many years ago. And for the first time, your Sunday email has arrived on Sunday here downunder – there are no mistakes! xxx
39 never looked so good! I’m probably close to your mom’s age and I too stopped counting after the mid 40’s. I have been enjoying your posts since the beginning and look forward to your future posts. Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, Joy! You came to NOLA just around the time I was getting ready to leave it and I do regret we never became real-life friends, but I do love to see you loving my city! Here’s to another great year.
Happy Birthday, Joy! Time to tickle the ivories. Whatโs the first song youโre going to play/learn?
xoxo, Lise
p.s. Wish I could bake YOU a cake. Itโs hard being a baker on your own birthday, right? We have expectations.
Happy Birthday Joy! You are a beautiful 39!
Another year of your being on this planet is worth celebrating! I hope you have a super fabulous birthday!
seems apropos to post a day or two early anyway since none of us can distinguish the days anyway. happy birthday! hope you share some cake and ice cream with tron.
Wishing you a Very Happy Birthday and the coming year filled with all the new experiences and adventures you could wish for. Also I’d like to thank you for sharing your life and the wonderful recipes you come up with! You make life in my kitchen its own adventure ? As to relationships and a family, it will come in its own time. Meanwhile, enjoy each day as if it were your last and you will never lack!
Happy 39th!
Love you Joy! Youโre a treasure. Happy 39 (2days early)!
Cheers, Aunt Judy
Happy Healthy Birthday Joy!! I’ve been with you from the very beginning. I’m sure our bike paths crossed in Santa Monica!! Through these years I had my daughter on my own at 41. She is thriving!! Best thing in the world I ever did. The years fly by, but you have made them for me, more delicious and (on Sunday) introspective. I wish you much love, success and strength in this coming year!!
Happy Birthday ? Joy! Be kind to yourself and that itโs okay to feel whatever it is one is feeling. Youโre an inspiration to so many and I wish you many blessings in your next year. ?
Happiest of birthdays! I think everyone has that “road not taken” thought from time to time. Perhaps the mom who put aside her career goals to raise her kids, and now feels that she will never catch up… but then looks at the artwork hanging on her fridge, and realizes she’s got everything she needs. Or the son who longed to travel the world, but stayed close to home to take care of his parents and the family business….and eventually realizes he has seen the best of the world right in his own small town. The military wife who wonders about how moving every two years has a toll on her life, and her kids … but then thinks about all the places she’s seen and people she’s met, and is grateful. The city career girl who has it all, longing to move to the wide open farm country – but realizes, during the pandemic, her neighbors are her family and support system.
We should all have goals and dreams, but also a bit of a “bloom where you are planted” mentality – I think the best is possible if you can embrace both concepts.
Here’s hoping 39 is magical!
happy, Happy, HAPPY Birthday, Joy.
It is always a pleasure to click onto your site and just read..
Stay so very special, unique and perfectly perfect as you live out your 39th year.
Happy Birthday Joy! Thank you for all your wonderful recipes and โLet it be Sundayโ posts. And here is something from Mary Oliver.:
I donโt know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesnโt everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
With your one wild and precious life?
Happy Happy HAPPY! Your blog has always been such a joy to read. And I always look forward to your Sunday posts.
39 is a good year to be. And your blog post reminded me of where I was at 39. Thank you for this lovely post!
Old guy checking in from Canada. First, thank-YOU for ALL the things that you attempt in your life. For one thing. you have improved my baking capabilities beyond what I ever thought possible. But even more than that is your attitude towards living. Yes, things can get tougher as you grow older; but they can also become more beautiful as you grow your mind to the possibilities of living in this crazy old world. You have obviously figured this out.
Every one of your posts also bring a little bit of New Orleans back to the souls of those of us who used to live there. Sorry to be so sappy, but they are like a little rays of sunshine from the Crescent City.
So keep the faith, and remember that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Not only do you have your ‘net (and, of course, personal) relationships, but that you are also living in a world of single people that has never really existed before. Single adults in 1950 (my birth year) stood at 22% in North America. Today it’s at FIFTY percent!
So there are ALOT of folks trying to figure out how to create new kind of fulfilling relationships that no longer have those traditional roles to fall back on. And guess what? YOU are helping that new world along. CONGRATULATIONS! And thank-you again.
PS; You don’t look a day over 30 ;>)
Happy Birthday Joy! You have come along way, and you have a loong way to go! At times when years passing intimidate you, just recollect and count ALL the beautiful things you have accomplished – they are many! I have been following your progress 12 years now. You have been ti all our life changes and your spirits and delicious recipes have kept us going! Love is around the corner! It will find you! xoxo from Athens, Greece!
Happy birthday 39 years young…and let it be. like Frank Sinatra said “It was a very good year”. I hope 39 is as good for you as it was for me! I don’t know why I like that song, (not my era) but I can relate nearing the autumn years. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeDfgUvyKHk
My California coastal kitchen is coming to fruition. My engineer husband is putting up cabinets (solid maple flat panel) The dust, the mess…but it is coming close that I can almost see the end!
Enjoy the piano!
Happy Birthday, Joy. Have fun. Be well!
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. And bravo for taking the limits off yourself and getting what you want. Our expectations seldom line up with reality. Sometimes they’re better and there are occasions when we can’t imagine the wonderful things the universe has in store for us. The family you have built – this online community focused on so much good and deliciousness – may not be the one you expected, but it’s remarkable. Continue to treat yourself well.
Dear Joy,
First, Happy Birthday to you, may this 39th year be as special to you as you are to those of us who have followed and loved you through the years. Second, I truly appreciate all you do for us: in addition to your delicious recipes and cookbooks, you continue to share your life, your losses and gains, your experiences and your wonderful outlook on life. I love the spirit in which you have embraced โto live as many lives in one lifeโ as you can. Lastly, I want to say, those very personal feelings you have of โmissing outโ are so universal, but as I can attest to, only when compared to a false ideal.
Live your best life everyday Joy, and as I say to my own daughter, โlove yourself as much as you are loved.โ
Happy Birthday Joy!! You and an inspiration and so worth celebrating!
Happy early Birthday!
Happy Birthday! You have given me so many go to recipes and the added enjoyment of reading your blog. I was lucky enough to be at your first book signing at Vromans Books what seems like an age ago. I look forward to your posts and Let it Be Sunday. Have a wonderful birthday year!
Happy Birthday Joy !!
May this day bring You twice the joy you bring us!
Youโre at a great time in life and it only gets better. Iโm glad you bought the piano. We have to be good to ourselves or we canโt be there for others.
Thanks for being a touchstone and inspiration in dark times and good times. Cheers!!
Happy Birthday Joy!
We’ve all had the “shoulda, coulda, woulda” moments, but you’re still young and beautiful and living your best life- that’s all that matters. Enjoy
P.S. Love the piano gift!!!!
Happy birthday, Joy. At 41, I can definitely relate to the things people feel might be “missing” from their lives. While I have a very happy marriage and my child is off to college and happy, my career is underwhelming. I’ve always admired the way that you have built your own business on your own terms without having to (it seems from here) do anything that takes advantage of others. You’ve made enough money to support yourself without ever showing it off. There’s so much of what I see in your life that I wish I could accomplish. We are where we need to be. There is no should. I’ll remind myself as well. Enjoy your piano. I do hope you’ll play it for us. Thank you so much for continuing to be an inspiration all these years.
Happy Birthday Joy!
You are a ray of sunshine :) I have paused with age as well!
Have a wonderful day Joy. I enjoy reading your things and trying to bake your goods. Keep it up. It offers more than you know.
Happy birthday! Celebrate yourself just the way you are, which is pretty darn marvelous!
Happy, Happy Birthday to you! Joy. Good for you for buying the piano! You bring joy (no pun intended) to my inbox each week! I love your recipes, links, and thoughts. I hope this year brings you sweet surprises and much happiness ??
Happy Birthday Joy! You are a true joy!!
Happy birthday, Joy! Thank you for filling this happy little corner of the internet with lots of wisdom and so much good food and – dare I say? – joy! Love from LA!
Wishing you the happiest of birthdays!
We are the same age, and when my summer trip died because of THIS THING we’re all in, I said to Mom with a sigh that “well, I guess it’s going to be a 40th birthday trip.” After a longer-than-necessary-pause, she said, “Wow. You’re going to be 40?” Yes, mother, Thanks. Also, while it’s also easy to lament sometimes about the “things we left behind (so far, anyway)” -marriage, kids, I’d like to remind you that we still have our pets, which is no small feat when they paw at your face at 5:45 am,, and also, how glad are you to not be homeschooling right now? Amen to that. Enjoy whatever sweet treats you’re enjoying on Monday!
Happy birthday, Joy! I don’t comment much but I love your blog. You are braver than me but I also feel like you are a companion in this life with the same “fuck it, gonna do what I want” mentality that I try to live more fully into. I’m 45 and hoping to adopt a baby soon. Life did not turn out how I planned you could say. I also am trying to remember the good things while working at getting the things I want even though they are different than what I pictured. You’re amazing. You shine brightly. I am rooting for you and all your dreams.
Happy Birthday, Joy!
Happiest of birthdays, Dearest!
Have a wonderful birthday Joy, I can’t remember how I found you but I’ll be 71 next month and that’s my excuse. xo
Finding a soul mate is pure luck. I hope you have a very lucky year. Happy Birthday from San Diego
Happy Birthday Joy! Your parents named you aptly!
Happy Birthday with many many more years to come.
My birthday emojis turned into question marks. Sorry about that Joy!
Birthday greetings from Michigan! Random comments: I was 39 when I met my husband. I am OK with the universe deciding that kids will not be part of my journey. Don’t take your health, or the health of your loved ones for granted. Losing a pet can trigger a grief stronger than losing a human. Don’t postpone fun and laugh as often as possible. xo.
upon reading the header in my email, my instant reaction was she sent a new post with a major typo. She is celebrating 29 not 39. So obviously I have placed your age some time ago and you have been gracefully maturing ever since. Thank you for maturing with me throughout these 12 years, continuing to share all the food and real moments of life. Just behind you at 36 continuing to find comfort in my non married, no kids fulfilling life as is. Happiest of birthdays Joy!
Happy Birthday Joy! Love your joie de vivre in all that you do!
Happy Birthday Joy,
There is a reason your Mother named you that- you bring so much Joy to people! – every year that you are here sharing your wisdom is a gift. Married, not married, motherhood, not motherhood, we are all just trying to figure it out. Do not feel left behind…. you are on the AMAZING train of โsisterhoodโ with us- enjoy the ride. :)
Happy Birthday Joy! Kudos for buying yourself something for your soul.
Thank you for sharing your world, you make it a better place!
Happy Birthday, Joy. Please, more vegan baking!!
Happy birthday Joy! Caught me by surprise but as it turns out Iโve been a fan since before your 30 post! Iโve loved every post dropped into my email, they are always a treat amongst the others. Cheers!
Happiest of Quarantine Birthdays to you, Joy! I cannot remember how long ago I stumbled upon you, but it has been a magical ride. I greatly look forward to your Sunday lists, and your pancake and apple crisp recipes will always be my number one go-tos. AND YAY FOR PIANO! One of my biggest wishes is to learn piano, and then ultimately own a piano. I am currently in school again, but it is on the top of my list once I am out and making an income again. xx
Happy Birthday, Joy!! Love your candidness and hearing your thoughts. Endlessly relatable. Have so loved following you throughout the years! We are so lucky to have you. And I also fully intend to buy myself a piano one day. Can’t wait! You da best!
There’s something wrong with the math here. How could you have turned 30 in 2012, 35 in 2016, and 39 in 2020?
https://joythebaker.com/2012/05/these-things-ive-learned-in-thirty-years/
https://joythebaker.com/2016/05/this-is-35/
Do I have my age wrong?
Happy Birthday!! Today is my 46th birthday!! Iโve got you beat by a few years!! lol.
Enjoy your day!!
Happy Birthday Joy! Wishing you a wonderful day & year!
Joy, Iโve read for years but havenโt commented often. Iโve felt too much outside the circle, My life far too different From yours. But today I was watching your insta stories where you asked about our 5 dream lives & I thought โ oh, we arenโt that much differentโ and here you are today talking about โ the things that feel missing are so few in comparison to the things that are present and available and bountifulโ & again I think we are the same.
Happiest of early birthdays Joy. Thank you for always being here x
Happy Birthday, Joy! My daughters and I made your biscuit cinnamon rolls last Saturday and they were delightful! Keep on doing your thing!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOY! :-)
I first became aware of you via an article about you on The Kitchn with pictures pose wearing a dress in you rather small kitchen in Malibu Beach; whenever that was.
I vaguely remember you were doing ‘Let It Be Sunday’ around number 50???
Been visiting your site daily since
Enjoy you birthday
Cynetta
Happy Birthday Joy. You bring so much fun and enjoyment into our lives. Iโm 73 and I remember 39 very well. You have brought a high sense of enjoyment for baking and cooking so just keep on keeping on. We need you in our lives.
Thank you for sharing your creativity and yourself with us. I always look forward to your Sunday posts as your recipes. There are many that are personal favorites that I make time and again and always make me happy. Keep on keeping on, Joy.
Happy birthday, Joy! Your words, as always, are what I needed to hear today. As I approach 38 in a few weeks, Iโve too have found myself focusing on all those things that are missing – and sometimes that list feels as though itโs overflowing. But youโre right, in comparison with all that is here – all the beauty, all the wonder, all those moments of feeling like I am right where I want to be – what is missing seems so small. Thank you for that reminder. I hope you enjoy your birthday week and your new piano. Itโs lovely.
PS, I make your buttermilk pie crust at least every other week. Itโs the best.
Wishing you a Happy Happy Birthday ?Enjoy your day Thanks for sharing all your creative adventures ?
39 looks great on you! Canโt wait to see (hear?) you playing piano! Happy Birthday!
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday! ???
Happy Birthday Joy! Enjoy your day and upcoming year. They go by fast!
Happy Birthday Joy!
Happy happy birthday Joy!
What a wonderful, thoughtful post–I can relate. Thank you so much for your vulnerability. Happiest of celebrations to you!
Happy Happy Birthday Joy! Iโm glad to know you and think youโve become this rad, admirable, inspiring woman! I am sending bubbly and bready things to you today! ?
Happiest of Birthdayโs Joy! I have followed you since you had your podcast with Tracey and itโs been such a treat! Iโve missed those podcasts but have thoroughly enjoyed following along with you as youโve moved from CA
to New Orleans and all the adventures in between. Your writing style is lovely and your voice comes through in all you share. You are fearless and creative! I wish you all the best in your 39th year! Cheers!
Have the happiest of birthday days Joy! I appreciate your words so much. I turn 55 next month and it’s so hard to believe. Sometimes I feel like I’ve lived a lifetime and other times I feel like life is just beginning. I want to live life graciously. I want to try more things, not being afraid to fail, and fully enjoying the experience. Your words are ever inspiring. Much love!
Happy fresh , brilliant, beautiful ,bountiful year!
Thank you for providing all of the above for us with each thought provoking and fun column.
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy everything!
Happy birthday Joy!
I’m one of those people who have been around for 12 years, returning to this place for the stories and recipes and shared joy and heartache. I just turned 34 a few weeks ago. In these last 12 years I have gotten married and divorced, not had any kids, and wonder too sometimes about what I’m missing. I feel a bit like I’m back where I started, but also (thanks therapy!) VERY much in a new place of possibility and wholeness. It’s a journey, and I just want to thank you for being a person who I look to as somebody who is boldly moving forward and finding delight in what life brings. Cheers to you! May your day be full of laughter, Tron snuggles, and delicious food!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
You look AMAZING in the white lace! Victoria Secret makes a smaller version that you would like AWESOME in.
Happy birthday, Joy! Enjoy your day and know that you are loved!
Happy Birthday Joy! Iโve been following you and saving your recipes since the beginning. So fun to buy ourselves birthday gifts. Enjoy your piano! ??????
Happy, happy birthday! Itโs crazy to think itโs been 12 years of this thing we have together. I donโt often comment, but I read every post, buy every cookbook, like every post, and have been here rooting for you the whole time.
Hereโs to many more adventures, culinary or otherwise.
I love this post, like really all of your posts. Thank you for your honesty and for nailing thoughts that are about as difficult to nail as Jell-o. Thank you for the reminder to celebrate what’s bountiful, and Happy Birthday to young beautiful you!
Happy birthday Joy! Love being with you all these years and many more to come! Thank you….enjoy your day!
Happy Birthday, Joy! Thank you for your beautiful words and have a blessed day ??
Happy Birthday! What you wrote about your mom is EXACTLY how I feel – Iโm 40 and my mom is maybe 45 or so and Iโm okay with that. My grandma is only 60. So it makes sense… to me.
Happy Birthday Joy! 39 was a magical year for me. Pregnant with my first child. Had him one month shy of my 40th. Here I am 55. I cook professionally and my 2nd child(at 42) regularly helps me fill pies. I do know we life takes us places that we never expected it to. Sometimes riding the wave is a good thing. Do I ever expect to figure it out – nope!
Happy fresh , brilliant, beautiful ,bountiful year!
Thank you for providing all of the above for us with each thought provoking and fun column.
Happy Birthday!!!
Happy everything!
Thank you for being who you are. Happy birthday!
Wonderful, Joy! Happy birthday! xoxo
Happy Birthday, Joy!
Happiest of Birthdays to you, Joy….may there be more discoveries and adventures in this coming year.
Happy Birthday!
Happiest of birthdays to you, Joy! May all your wishes come true!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday Joy, you’re truly a joy and I wish you all the happy things you have ever wanted.
You are just insanely likeable. Thank you for showing us this moment of truth and reflection on your birthday. Keep being a sweet, shining light!
Happy Birthday, Joy!! Today is #67 for me. I will tip a wee dram and a beer in our honor.
Happy Birthday to you too Bob!
Happy birthday! Thank you for being a bright spark in the world.
Happy birthday, dear Joy! I hope you are very kind and gentle with yourself this weekend. Celebrate all that is you ?. Iโm sure we all feel a bit questioning on our special days. I think to myself, how am I turning 57 this coming July? What have I not done that I wish I had? But, as I look at all of the wonders that I have, I wouldnโt change an aspect of my past. So…itโs all good. We are all good.
Happy Birthday, Joy! Try hard not to worry about missing anything “big.” You are living your life to the fullest and we are all on our unique path. There is never one “right way.” to live. Keep the music going! xx
Happy birthday Joy, thank you for all the years of joy and cake! I’ve been here since the beginning, definitely not going anywhere ;-)
Happy birthday! I โmetโ you a couple years ago thanks to my aunt, who baked you fatherโs sweet potato pie; I LOVED it and she directed me to your blog. And then she gave me one of your books for my 35th birthday. And ever since them, Iโve followed you. Thank you for the happiness and joy that you share with everyone. Lots of love from Spain, from another Joy :)
Happy Cake day from one Joy to another! A piano! how exciting! Enjoy <3
Oh, Joy! You had me at 30 when you said, “God is good, even when you don’t believe God is good.” Funny, I had to go back and check the original version, since I remembered it as “Believe in God even when you believe that God doesn’t believe in you.” Thank you for signing my/your/our book in Portland and for all the good Sunday reads. And if your legacy is a mighty fine cookie, then that is is a life well led. And you can come shoot bad archery in my backyard anytime. Happy birthday.
Happy Birthday Joy! Thank you for the many years of deliciousness:)
Happy Birthday Joy!
Happy birthday Joy!
Happy Birthday. ?
Happy Birthday Joy!