Everything Fried Pickles with buttermilk ranch dip

On the short list of life skills I’m willing to boast about are these: my ability to watch any and every Liam Neeson and Denzel Washington movie (see: Taken 2 and Man on Fire), my willingness to fight for what is right in airplane armrest territory, and my eagerness to say, “Hey, let’s fry that!”.

This recipe falls under the ‘hey let’s fry that’ category though, for what it’s worth, I’m also typing this post with my arm firmly but politely planted on an airplane armrest that is under siege by a man who frankly, seems to know no better. I will fight this fight. 

We’re deep into these summer days which means we’ve settled into the concept of our bodies in bathing suits enough to just go back to eating some of the indulgent things we want to enjoy.  Enter: fried dill pickles. They’re sour and bright, crisps, exciting, and made downright clever with the addition of everything bagel seasoning. 

And lest you think you don’t like a warm pickle… think back to all the cheeseburgers that have at least one warm pickle in the center.  It’s a treasure.  Let’s proceed. 

Life skill: fry. 

Here’s what you need:

•  a jar of whole dill pickles and dry hands to open the jar, or someone else to open the jar, or the tap and twist technique.  Don’t get stuck.  I’m speaking from experience. 

•  flour and cornmeal – fine corneal, no need to be fancy. 

•  salt, pepper, sugar, and smoky paprika – for balance and spice. 

•  buttermilk and hot sauce to aide in dredging.  

•  yogurt and buttermilk, fresh herbs and garlic – for an unstoppable ranch dipping sauce. 

•  everything bagel seasoning- where would we be without it honestly?

•  of course you’ll need oil for frying along with gumption and enthusiasm. Quick note! You may even want to save the oil because I’ve got another fried recipe for you later this week! (Get excited – it’s chicken!)

Slice the pickles.  

1/2-inch rounds will do ya. 

When I fry things – and I really do love to fry things sohelpmegod – I think it’s important to season and flavor every layer of the recipe.  

See:  hot sauce in buttermilk.  A hint of heat, come through! 

Here’s the thing – if you like pickles enough to fry them, you’re going to have a hard time not snacking on all of the pickles before they make it into the fryer.  Just do the best you can.  No judgements. 

Toss the sliced pickles in the buttermilk and hot sauce mixture. 

The buttermilk will help the dry mix stick to the pickles.  

Whisk together the flour, cornmeal, salt and pepper, and a bit of smoky paprika for intrigue.  

Another trick to frying… listen, I’m trying to convert you.  

The trick is to prep your pans and gently heat the oil before you dredge and get your hands dirty. 

You’ll need a parchment lined pan to house the dredged pickles, a baking rack over a baking sheet to house the fried pickles, and a medium saucepan to house the hot hot oil.  Get it all going before hands get dirty because my goodness they will. 

The easiest way the completely dredge the pickles is with your fingers so hop on in! 

The better the pickles are coated, the more crisp they’ll cook.  

While the pickles fry in sweet little batches, bring together the ranch dip by first slicing fresh chives and fresh dill.  

Yogurt and buttermilk add all of the tang we need and we may even be able to argue that this part of the recipe is healthy.  WOW. 

Fresh garlic too, very well minced.  

Onion powder too.  Makes ranch, ranch – I promise.  

Fried to golden + crisp.  Sprinkled very generously with everything bagel seasoning.  Those sesame seeds and onion flakes, I tell ya – they make for a nice bite!

Served warm, these pickles are juicy and crisp, sour and savory, salty and well-seasoned – THEY ARE GEMS, I tell you! 

Photos with my dear Jon Melendez. 

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