What we have here is an accidental diary, friends. I really do have to marvel and shake my head in absolute embarrassment at the old posts here on Joy the Baker. It turns out being human together, and on the internet together for so long is both mortifying and comforting.
We’ve been at this Joy the Baker-ing together for nearly 13 years now and just about every post I ever thought to write still exists here. It’s comedy. It’s a disaster.
Recently for Camp Joy, my friend Whitney was deep-diving my site looking for old pictures of my ten year old cat, Tron. She ran across a post that I had completely erased from my brainspace.
EXCUSE ME WHAT? My 29 year-old-self wrote a letter to my 39-year-old-self and here I am – MY THIRTY NINE YEAR OLD SELF.
Oh, this glimpse back is priceless. There is a surety back there that I recognize and also want to add a dash of humility too. There’s a pride I admire but also recognize as fragile. I died my hair with henna – I mean of course I did. Now I don’t dye my hair at all.
Ten years ago I didn’t think the words global pandemic would apply to me in my lifetime. I didn’t know I’d live in New Orleans. I thought I’d be married with children. I don’t know why I thought I wanted to be a spy – I was probably watching a lot of Alias at the time.
Ten years ago I wanted a kitten. I got one. His name was Curtis, then Jules, now Tron. He’s sitting next to me with a blue cone around his head, trying to heal from a few health troubles this week because ten years comes at all of us one way or another.
I feel like I have more capacity for gratitude in this ten year space. I feel like I understand better how wild and precious life is. I’ve learned how to steady myself and speak up for what I think is right. I take deeper breaths. I think I thought I was good and grown ten years ago. Now I feel like growing should never stop.
I just thought I’d pop in and share this with you today. I know you can relate. Maybe just give it all a minute and think about how far you’ve come in ten years.
Thank you for holding space for this tender spot. What a trip.
xo Joy
Pictured above: me @ 39: camping / cooking / smitten/ really very happy.
Priti S
Well that’s one way to have a bbq and picnic all rolled into one! Looking back on life is always 20/20 isn’t it? Let’s learn to love each day and be thankful for what we have now!
Samantha
I’ve done these things too in the past and I’m always afraid to open them and read them!
Leanne
omg thats the cutest. don’t change. :) this brought a smile to my morning coffee. i hope you have a beautiful day joy.
Karen
Like wine you and Tron are getting better and wiser with age. Speedy recovery wishes to Tron and did you know it’s International Cat Day? Love your blog, your recipes and especially your Sunday recommended readings.
Keep baking and thank you.
Dee
Yep, what a trip it’s been….
Thanks for the surprise post…
Clogan
Joy, I love you! I’ve been following and reading along on your life’s journey for so long that I wouldn’t know what to do if your email wasn’t in my mailbox on Sunday morning, Reflection is good for the soul, so is aging. It’s always about growth, isn’t it? I’m a bit older than you, and all the things I thought I would be didn’t Come to fruition, and all the right and wonderful things have. Thanks for the surprise. PS The best is yet to come! And all the best to the kitty with the blue cone?
joythebaker
I appreciate these words so much Clogan! I’m so glad you’re here.
Mary B.
Ditto to all the comments. Perhaps you were named Joy purposefully! Thank you for being you.
joythebaker
My mom had a plan. :)
Michele
I’m relatively new to your site, but I like your recipes, really like the person you seem to be and 29 yo Joy sounds like she was pretty amazing too.
joythebaker
I’m so glad you’re her Michele!
Emily
OH geez, I remember that blog post! I just turned 41 so I’m a bit older than you but always think of us as the same age. I want to add my appreciation to the chorus, not just for your amazing recipes and cookbooks but the thought, love, and vulnerability you bring to this space. Thank you Joy!
joythebaker
Isn’t it wild Emily!? Also – we’re absolutely the same age. There’s no difference between 39 and 41. :)
Lynn Glace
Thank you Joy. I enjoy all your posts. The make me think and reflect.
Amy
Like many, I’ve also enjoyed your writing for years. I always look forward to your Sunday thoughts (even if I save it to read over my Thursday lunch hour) and appreciate that you’re so candid and open with us. I wish 29 year old Amy had written to 39 year old Amy… but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Happy to live those thoughts through you. Healing thoughts for Tron, happy birthday wishes for you and a big thank you from all of us.
Karen B.
I have thoroughly enjoyed all of your posts, filled with wisdom and good eats.
Thankyou for always entertaining me.
xo,
Karen
katalina
this post inspires me to write a future note to self. today is the last day I get to be 30 so it feels like the right move.
joythebaker
Yes, dear friend! You really should! Happy Birthday!