Ok the truth of the matter is, I still have my Christmas decorations up. It’s embarrassing but the potted tree is still covered in lights and cartoon cutout snowflakes and the windowsills are lined in nearly petrified garland and beads.ย ย The task of dismantling the decorations is a small one that has slipped my grasp, like an astronaut drifting off into deep space that happens in every space movie ever.ย Byeee George Cloooonneeeeyyy.
I don’t know when the decorations will come down. I don’t know who will take them down.ย I don’t know how they’ll come undone and I can accept the fact that some things are just a mystery.ย Just kidding.ย At some point my embarrassment will outweigh my avoidance but that time has yet to arrive.
If there’s anything you’re avoiding like the plague we’re actively living through, just imagine me and my cartoon snowflakes out here having the audacity to thrive. We’ll get it sorted one of these fine days.
The offering this week is below, or you could just pop to the kitchen and make a small batch of Chocolate Beet Cupcakes pictured above.ย As always, take what you need.
โขย You can imagine that, as a forty something unmarried woman, I’ve happily spent many thousands of dollars on bachelorette parties, engagement gifts, wedding gifts, and baby shower gifts for friends who had made all of those decisions and milestones.ย Now, with all due respect, you will not find me supporting Starting Over with a Divorce Registry.ย It’s not reeeaaaalllyy about the money or the stuff, right? It’s about support and acceptance. But also – millennials en mass are reaching The Divorce Place and if there’s one thing I know about my generation it’s that, yes we’ll make a business about it but like… not everything needs to be commerce.ย (The Cut)
โขย There are so many poignant combinations of words in Carmen Maria Machado’s interview with Poet Laureate Ada Limon, Can Poetry Heal a Broken World? I won’t spoil any of them for you but suffice it to say, I’m constantly humbled by being a person with a body.ย Truly what a curiosity this human existence is. If we get to come back, I’m raising my hand to be a horse. (Elle)
โขย Are we ready to put Imposter Phenomenon on the shelf? Why Everyone Feels Like They’re Faking It (The New Yorker)
โขย I loved this podcast exploration into self-control and how it varies across situations.ย I’m side-eyeing me and the snooze button I abuse every morning. ย Why Is It So Hard to Resist Temptation? (Freakonomic)
โขย Also, check me out on the She’s My Cherry Pieย podcast talking about, what else, cake and more cake, but most importantly,ย Everybody’s Chocolate Cakeย (Apple Podcasts, Joy the Baker)
โขย If I’m keeping score for myself, the last brave thing I did was learn how to ride a motorcycle (quickly and with other cars around me) and the joy it’s brought me was honestly, hard-fought.ย Pushing past the stories I tell myself about myself is some of the clunkiest most rewarding work, and this little series from @ingridfetell really nails it.ย If there’s anything in your heart that makes you so scared you just have to do it,ย make your curiosity bigger than your fear. Slowly, surely. (Instagram)
โขย Since my egg retrieval and fibroid surgery I’ve been reaching for every tool possible to bring my body and hormones back into some semblance of balance. If you ever want to talk about castor oil packs and acupuncture and infradian rhythms I’m no expert, but I am a woman with a body.ย I found this article put a finger on why the grind feels like Mt. Everest some days:ย Why Popular Time Management Strategies Don’t Work For Women.ย Honestly, I’ve never been much of a mountain climber so I’m changing the way my work flows each month where I can. (Flo Living)
โขย Related: I’ve made another batch of Seed Cycling Balls and while Period TikTok woulld have me believe that seeds alone wil balance my hormones that is not exactly the case for me. BUT they do help reduce symptoms of PMS and I’ll take every bit of support I can get. Also they’re a snack full of fiber and that’s just smarts. (Joy the Baker)
โขย I feel like we don’t talk about Egg Sandwiches enough.ย I would argue that an egg salad sandwich is a nourishing way to temporarily disassociate (but maybe that’s me revealing too much). (Joy the Baker)
โขย I’m currently unavailable to watch anything new to my brain which is why I’m watching Season 32 of Survivor for the 2nd time.ย Ifย I were able to intake a fresh tale, I’d watch Pamela on Netflix.ย Have you? Did your heart break open a bit?ย Also dare we go for the iconic Pam lip?ย Asking for a friend jkjk asking for me.ย ย (Netflix and TikTok, I’m sorry)
Enjoy this day. My love to you.
xo Joy
39 Responses
Hey Joy – I’m a frequent reader and love the candor, warmth, and humor you bring to the internet. Your comment about the divorce registry isn’t sitting right with me, though. I agree that we live in a time of toxic capitalism, but divorce can be a massive financial hit. I think being brave enough to lean on your community when you’re rebuilding can be a direct response to thoughtless consumerism and a really lovely way to fight against a culture that encourages us to struggle (especially with $) in secret. Everyone should obviously make the choice that feels right for them and there will be complexities, but I have a hard time seeing a problem with helping out a friend going through a major life transition in the way that they prefer.
Hi I have a problem with the Netflix docudrama. Again no one bothered to get Pamela Anderson’s take or permission to talk about her life-so basically still taking advantage.
I heard Pamela Anderson interviewed on Armchair Expert and I think she was involved in Pamela, a love story. I think they did not involve her in the Pam & Tommy one.
Loving all your recipes! Not sure if you’re interested but I saw this shirt and I thought it would be perfect for you !
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BVRTT54H
Keep sharing your amazing baking goods!
Totally none of my business, but I’ve recently been diagnosed with fibroids and been recommended to have a hysterectomy. I’m older than you, just turned 49 Saturday, and have two children through adoption. The brightest side of having cancer as a teenager. Anyway, I’m just trying to figure out the hysterectomy and if that’s the best or only option. Thanks for anywhere you can point me.
I can’t wait to check out these links! I just wanted to say I really appreciate your comment about being unavailable for anything new. I’ve had Guy’s Grocery Games on repeat for months now because I can’t seem to concentrate on anything new. It’s nice to know I’m not alone! :)
It’s such a real thing, my friend. There’s so much in a day that I often just need the comfort of either The Office of Survivor. It’s simply all I can take on.
Wow, that piece about impostor phenomenon is such a great read. Thanks for bringing it to my attention.
I’ve made your small batch overnight mocha cinnamon rolls for today and they are awesome! Such a great overnight recipe. Thank you!
You’re so welcome Sina!
Oh my dear Joy, I too have my Christmas tree still up with full decorations and lights. To top it off, I light it up every night! I just really enjoy the glow of the lights. So soothing and inviting to the soul. No date has been set to take it down but I plan to have all the decorations put away by Easter, the next big holiday.
Lets have fun being ourselves! Cheers to the best year to come yet!
And cheers to that lit up, glowy tree every night!
I think for me, in my divorce, objects were kind of haunted. When I got divorced, my ex-husband and I were living in different countries, me back in the states where I’d come for a PhD program, and him outside of the US, and so I’d set up an apartment without him and had stuff like plates and sheets and things without his presence or memories of him. But if we’d gotten a divorce while we still lived together, I would have had like, some clothing, some books and my cat. And it would have felt horrific and hard and exhausting and expensive to go find a new place and get all the stuff you need to live. So I feel like divorce registries make a lot of sense, more than wedding ones, really, at this point. I really was starting over from nothing, I just happened to have more stuff because we were already living apart. And it’s a nice way to help a friend who needs a lot of different kinds of support and often can’t ask for it. I could cry to friends about my pain, my anxieties, my fears about maybe never getting to be a biological parent now, but the day to day needs I had to just suck it up and deal with. If I hadn’t already had an apartment and stuff I can’t imagine how hard it would have been to get what I needed, and how each purchase would have reminded me of the partnership I no longer have.
Absolutely, and I think being there for friends in need is never in doubt! When youโre a single woman, though, and youโve spent those thousands of dollars and no one has celebrated your life decisions in the same way, I can imagine that getting a notification about a โdivorce registryโ would sting in all kinds of ways. Life is hard, letโs be there for each other, but maybe not everything needs to be a trend or a commodity, you know?
Leah, I’m so sorry you had to go through that time. I know it can’t have been easy on the heart, the body, the wallet. It’s all so hard. You know,I feel like married or not, in a breakup so much of our physical stuffs feel haunted. Thanks for sharing your perspective and I’m so glad you made it through.
Dissociating with egg salad really resonated with me. Iโฆ. completely agreeโฆ. somehowโฆ.. (hmmmโฆ. and yum!).
If you know; you know.
I made Everybodyโs Chocolate Cake for my daughterโs 4th birthday a couple of weeks ago and she declared it to be the best cake ever! Thanks Joy ?
Humbly, I agree with your daughter with my whole heart! And happy birthday to you both! xo
We turned our Christmas trees ( yes, plural) into Valentine’s trees and they continue to make us happy. New England winters are tough so there is no judgement however you get through them.
Update: I left all of my red decorations on the tree. She’s a cute Valentine’s day gal now!
Sometimes I make lazy egg salad to top a pice of my sourdough with for bfast. Buy hard boiled eggs, slap a cooling sheet, criss crossed to make tiny squares, on top of a bowl, press them through, add Dukeโs and s& p. Easy. Satisfying!
You had me at Duke’s, which is the correct mayonnaise.
Eggs through a cooling rack is such a cheeky idea! I’ve recently seen people smash avocados through cooling racks too!
Of all the things to worry about, or judge yourself on please donโt let it be Christmas decorations! If you love it all(like I do) then leave it all!
That feels right, Mimi! Love to you!
Ah I had that Ada Limon interview saved for next weekโwhat a readโgreat minds! Also, I can’t stop talking about the Pam doc. Love you and your snow flakes. xx
Ahhh,sweet!
Love you, friend! Can’t wait to see what you have for us next week!
No one can write a Let it be Sunday post like you can, Joy! Thank you! ?
:) My favorite post of the week!
Thereโs no shame in the game of Christmas decor! We took our tree down maybe two weeks ago, and just put the decorations back in the attic last weekend. Our neighbors still have their tree up, and it still brings me joy to see it when I walk by. Haters can hate, but Iโm here for it! Especially when you live somewhere very dark and cold in the winter.
I love that your neighbor’s tree still brings you joy. A small light in the day, ya know?
Yep I have bought a gift off of a divorce registry. I think I was kind of shocked to receive the registry link and before I knew it had bought a welcome mat.
Joy, your writing and your baking are such a gift to me! Thank you!!
Oh that chocolate birthday cake looks absolutely scrumptious. In fact, chocolate cake is good anytime
including special occasions. I definitely would love to try this recipe. Thank you for sharing it.
As far as taking down a Christmas tree, I have left it up past February. It just looked so nice and beautiful
that I just left it up a lot longer for itโs beauty. Anyway, ornaments need to be wrapped carefully to keep them from getting broken and that can take some to do.
I genuinely laughed at “before I knew it, had bought a welcome mat”. Life comes at all of us pretty fast and you’re a sweet friend!
My heart DID break open! Beautifully said. Was not a Baywatch fan but was curious about her life. We have our biases sometimes. Really feel for her. Excellent documentary.
Ok ok you’re convincing me. Just need to find a night when I’m ready to have my heart break open hahha.
Well Joy, donโt know if it makes you feel better, but our tree is still up, tho the decorations and tinsel and most lights have been removed. I was encouraged to leave it all by a French friend in her 70s who told me her mother would leave theirs until Easter!, and use the branches in the fireplace as the time went onโฆIโm doing just that, too! Itโll be taken downโฆ.definitelyโฆsoon.
Donโt feel bad. Enjoy it all.
Up until Easter! I love that! In New Orleans, some folks leave their tree up through Mardi Gras and transition the decorations from the Christmas holiday to gold, green, and purple.