Hello friends. How are we holding up? I’ll keep it real: things feel bleak. I don’t think it’s a mystery where I fall on most political issues: I’m an educator at a Title One school that supports many refugees, and I’m openly queer. I’m scared, both for me (though I acknowledge that I have significant privilege) and so many people I love. Wherever your beliefs land, I hope you can empathize with what it feels like to have fear. It’s a universal human feeling โ and I think that connecting to other people’s humanity is one of the best things we can do right now.ย
I’m taking action in ways that feel important to me; however, I’m also finding ways to stay grounded and find joy. Right now, it’s noticing nature, snuggling my dogs, spending time with the people I love, exchanging voice memos with far-away friends (I loved Joy’s link to the essay about voice memos a few weeks ago โ it’s one of my favorite recent reads!), and doing my best to be calm, stable, and routined for my students.ย
If you’ve been reading my Sunday posts for awhile, then you know that I am a solar-powered human who prefers the sunnier Spring and Summer. I’m holding on to the small things: birds are chirping, it’s lighter out later and later, and while it’s still cold and we allegedly have an atmospheric river of rain arriving soon, I can see the light at the end of a cold winter.ย
I love the poet Sharon Olds, and the end of her poem “Little Things” says, “I am doing something I learned early to do/I am paying attention to small beauties/whenever I have โ as if it were our duty to/find things to love, to bind ourselves to the world.” I hope you’re finding ways to bind yourself to the world and plenty of things to love.ย
โข One thing about me is that I love pistachio-flavored anything. I’m intrigued by this spread. Also, if you have any hot tips about the best pistachio ice cream, I’m all ears โ for what it’s worth, I am looking for the sweet, fake, almond-ish variety. I know, I’m a monster. (Eater)ย
โข How not to take things personally. I need this. (Self)
โข “But what about the rest of us? I, for instance, make my living writing about restaurants; restaurants are staffed, by and large, with immigrants. Some are legal; some are undocumented…Anyone who is even tangentially involved in the restaurant industry knows this to be true. Itโs not a secret. It is how the industry works…Separate and apart from the fact that these undocumented workers arenโt really โundocumented workersโ at all but…just people, and therefore deserving of our empathy and care. Separate and apart from all of that, donโt we as foodies owe it to those upon whom our pleasure relies to stand up for them? Sure, the whole goddamn apparatus of restaurants…is built on the exploitation of the periphery and those we deem peripherals…Or does our love of restaurants stop only at the plate?” A vital, thought-provoking essay: A Very Special Family Meal At Angie Mar’s Le B (Substack)
โข Why not make some chocolate pudding? You deserve it. (Joy The Baker)
โข If you didn’t get the Valentine’s Day gift you wanted and are in the mood to treat yourself, may I suggest this necklace? I wear it daily and I have NEVER gotten more compliments on a piece of jewelry. Ever. It’s dainty but sturdy and looks good with everything, and I frequently wear it to work out, have slept in it, and rarely take it off. I’m also obsessed with this moon and diamond necklace. Plus, Cupcakes and Cashmere gave me a discount code to share: use AE20 for 20% off! It makes these already well-priced pieces even more of a steal. (Cupcakes and Cashmere)
โข I am excited about this Somerset Maxi Dress. In my heart, it’s nearly summer, so to get ready, I bought the Somerset Linen Romper. It is so cute that I’m willing to disrobe in bathrooms all summer. You know I’m serious. (Anthropologie)
โข This is one of the most compelling things I’ve ever read: How My Trip To Quit Sugar Became A Journey Into Hell. Well-written, funny, smart, and thought-provoking. Caity Weaver is a treat. (NYT Gift Link)
โข The Best “Low Energy” Hobby For Every Zodiac Sign. Love that they think Tauruses need to be introduced to making snack plates lol. I hate the stereotype that Taureses are always eating, but we do love a cozy luxury so a snack plate is something I excel at. Catch Editor Abby and I blowing your minds with a snack plate. Allegedly, Geminis should do puzzles (an activity I find less-fun) โ Joy, what say you? (Bustle)
โข Five Signs You’ve Outgrown A Friendship. This is hard to discover and admit, but it’s good to consider! (Self)
โข Is Internet-Induced Brain Rot A Myth? I’m gonna go with no, but time will tell. (Dazed Digital)
โข Vulnerable share, ahoy: I sobbed my way through this piece about adopting a new family via Facebook. My grandparents have chosen not to have a relationship with me since I came out as queer many years ago, and I desperately miss having grandparents around. I might need to find my own to adopt. (Wired)
โข Oh, How Men Drone On. From this writer’s lips to God’s ears. (The Atlantic Gift Link)
โข Are We Losing The Ability To Write By Hand? Do you know that kids don’t learn cursive anymore AND that they’ve done away with timed multiplication tests? I’m all for kids having less anxiety but also, these are hallmarks of youth! (The Guardian)
โข Ground Control To MySpace Tom. MySpace was MY JAM. I loved this piece about the first (and only?) good tech bro. (Substack)
โข Last winter, I remembered that I could have a baked potato bar whenever I pleased, and let me tell you: a baked potato bar is NEVER a bad idea. (NYT Gift Link)
โข I love cinnamon swirl bread with all my heart and I know Joy’s recipe will do me right. (Joy The Baker)
โข Man Drinking Iced Coffee In Winter With Hopes Someone Will Notice. Reminder to folks of all genders: there is no prize for willingly freezing yourself with a beverage in the winter! (Reductress)
25 Responses
Weโre a long way away and maybe not old enough, but we will be your grandparents if you need us. Love ? is ? love.
My sun and moon are Cancer and allegedly I’m supposed to use the phone? And call people?! Why would I do my own personal hell as a low energy hobby? ???? My rising sign is Scorpio, which is writing letters, which I am totally down with. A couple weeks ago I bought five fun cards at a local book store and sent them to friends close and far. (I haven’t gotten any notes in return, but I’m low-key hoping to turn a mostly-online friendship or two into a pen-pal situation.)
MySpace was great and I’m looking forward to reading the article, but I will maintain that LiveJournal was the perfect social media. Groups, highly customizable pages, ability to create lots and lots of different levels of privatization of photos, easy switching between main accounts and secret ones. (Or maybe it’s just that 2004-2008 internet was the best years of the internet?)
Sending you love
Great conversation starters this week!
I too am full on making healthy and comfort food find a nice balance during late Winter.
For pistachio cravings I also like the brand GroundUp. Trader Joes sells bags of roasted and unsalted (and shelled!) nuts. I can gussy them up anyway I wish. For ice cream the best pistachio is by Talenti. I stock up when on sale and a yummy indulgence.
Take heart! My third-grade daughter is learning cursive this year AND doing timed multiplication tests (by hand!). When her teacher announced in the fall that they’d be learning cursive, she explained that the main reason was so that they can read primary source material. I was so glad to hear that! And, as Catherine said, my daughter LOVES writing in cursive! She will painstakingly write us a card or write on her door’s whiteboard in her fancy writing. She’s also learning pig latin with her friends, so you know, some things never change!
Also I’m so sorry to hear about your grandparents! I don’t know if you are spiritual at all, but if you got involved in an affirming church like a United Methodist or something, I bet you’d meet some lovely older people who would be happy to give you some of that very special grandparent love.
I recently found this pistachio spread made in OR with pistachios sourced from CA. I could not stop eating it straight from the jar with a spoon. I too consider myself a pistachio cream connoisseur. https://pistakio.co/
That pistachio spread is one of the best things Iโve ever licked right off a spoon. As the young ones in my life say, โEliteโ! ?
Teacher also- special education. Sending love and hugs and care to you and your school. In other news- our school (I’m in Vegas which has some of the lowest rated schools in the country) has reintroduced timed multiplication tests as well as cursive! My own personal kids missed out on the cursive learning (except when I try to teach them myself) but I’m so glad that the younger kids coming up will get it. Not only is it important for reading letters and older documents, but it also helps make connections for writing/reading.
I’m with you on pistachio-flavored things! I love pistachio jello pudding more than I’d like to admit. A shout out to Blue Bunny pistachio ice cream has chunks of almond and is delicious, especially when you shave your own dark chocolate on top. Or add some mini M & Ms if shaving chocolate is too much to ask. My husband bought me a fancy Italian pistachio spread for Christmas but I haven’t cracked into it yet (https://store.177milkstreet.com/products/pistacchiosa-sicilian-pistachio-spread-with-extra-virgin-olive-oil?srsltid=AfmBOoquDebqP0wo7r_T7so6j1iuU6TQm1BY71G0l0-d3fuLH2EK8D3t).
Xox
That NYT article about sugar! I laughed, I cried … I completely identified! Thanks as always for a great group of reads.
P.S. – I am not old (quite) enough to be your grand, but if I were, I’d consider it an honor to be your grandmother. You are loved!
Canโt help with the ice cream. I get my pistachio fix from a small local bakery. They make a beautiful rose water pistachio cake. Eaten that day fresh is fabulous. A week later taken out of the fridge and nuked in the microwave for 20 seconds equally fabulous.
It is sad that cursive is no longer taught. How will the world have archivists and researchers in the future? How will people know the joy of something written by hand and send through the post?
I remember the absolute cool experience of reading poetry written by my father for my mother when they were courting. Him recovering in a hospital bed and her nursing him back to health.
Priceless documents in my world.
.
That article about the pistachio cream cracked me up – who actually does anything with pistachio cream other than eat it directly from the jar with a spoon? Well, ok, I have been known to spread it on a warm crepe as well but put it in baked goods? LOL – it never lasts long enough in my house to make it to a bar or cookie. Not to mention, itโs fairly expensive so I really want to use/eat it in a way where Iโm really able to savor every bite. (We were in Italy recently and stopped at a local grocery store; there was an entire section devoted to every kind of pistachio cream possible and it was the first time Iโve seen it for less than $14 for a small jar. If I had been checking any luggage I would have bought everything on the shelves!)
https://www.howsweeteats.com/2025/02/introducing-my-salted-pistachio-cookie-butter/ Jessica’s new limited edition pistachio butter! She’s an OG, been doing this as long as Joy and I, and if she says something is incredible, it IS! :)
I always enjoy your posts. I too am living with a lot of fear. If you were near me in KC I would be your adopted grandparent- I only have sons and grandsons so would love a granddaughter to hang with ! Keep on being youโฆ
Love your post and I’m with you on the fear of current events. So much cruelty and obscuring of self-enrichment while destroying others. Resistance is required. Time with our loved ones, taking care of ourselves, and holding onto hope.
Pistachios are a favorite. I had a pastry in Greece last fall that was some sort of puff pastry, filled with a sweet pistachio cream (like the one you linked to) stirred together with shredded, crunchy filo, topped with a little vanilla glaze and sprinkled with chopped pistachios. I dream of that pastry!
Now I am dreaming of that pastry!!
I love how you share so openly. You seem fearless to me. Thank you,
Living 2,000 miles away from
our families for the past 5 years, one of the greatest gifts has been having a diverse, multi-generational community of friends who feel like family. Some of our friends are actually the same age as our parents but we are so much more aligned in our values and vision of the world and we are all open to learning from each other (something Iโve accepted Iโll likely never have with my in laws). I really hope you find your own grandparenty people who give you some of the love and support youโre craving. In the meantime, Iโve been obsessed with Clevr Blends Pistachio Matcha Lattes โ theyโre like green tea ice cream and pistachio ice cream meets a tasty morning beverage and feel like a hug in a mug.
I completely understand about you being scared. I was so scared the past 4 years I couldn’t sleep at night. I worried for my children and their freedom. What kind of world will my grandchildren live in ? Will they have the great childhood I had ? Now I have finally been able to sleep. My son went ahead and planned his wedding that they were too scared to plan just a short year ago. I understand. Rest assured you will be just fine the next 4 years.
Your note about your grandparents makes me so sad. My grandmother is very evangelical, and weโve had major disagreements, but she never fails to tell me that โthereโs nothing I could ever say or do that would make me stop loving you.โ I canโt imagine anyone not loving you either that sort of force. Youโre so thoughtful and full of love in the avenues weโre able to know you.
I love pistachios too! I just purchased this nut butter; it’s so decadent. It is a limited edition flavor. I sound like an ad but I’m just a satisfied customer. https://grounduppdx.com/products/pistachio-cookie-nut-butter
Your comment about your grandparents made me very sad; it’s not like you’re any different than the day before you came out and your grandparents making their love conditional is the opposite of what Jesus or whomever they base their decision on taught. Course, I also think that you are better off without that in your life; you are a joy and it’s their loss. My father disagreed with my unmarried niece having children and I told him once that continuing to make comments would only drive a wedge in their relationship; she knew his feelings and that should be the end of it. Thank you for your hard work and contributions.
Love the poem, thank you – a much needed reminder in these bleak days. Gonna be looking for the small beauties!
Ouch about your grandparents. I’m so sorry that happened! That makes no sense to me. Especially when it’s for religious reasons having to do with Jesus who was all about love and not judging (except for money scoundrels and self serving government folks). I think you should adopt some elderly folks! Maybe a community center or certain volunteer clubs might have some like minded folks?
Perhaps itโs my age, but I love cursive. When I send a note to my grandchildren, I have to remember to print or expect that their parents will have to decipher my cursive. Itโs sad. I even use cursive to include text when I am quilting. I find it interesting that many of the younger people I know still have hope that things will turn around, but people (especially women) my age are depressed and anxious about the state of affairs in the US. I think Iโm afraid I wonโt live long enough to see us return to gentler times or to see a woman finally become President.
I would argue that timed multiplication tests are the least of things causing children anxiety these days and agree should bring them back! Also did anything else make you feel as mature or fancy as learning cursive? Iโd say no, but maybe thatโs just me.
also if youโre looking for another good pistachio spread, might I recommend this one?: https://amzn.to/4i0zd28