Building a Winter Life We’ll Love

Hello! I’m writing to you on a rainy morning. FINALLY. The heat has broken and it is pouring. The world smells so fresh (except for rainy day lunch at the middle school where I’m the vice principal — damp kiddos plus mingling food smells is really something) and I love it. I am a summer person, but the older I get, the more I genuinely love the way the days slow down, the gray days, and the natural inclination to stay home, eat soup, and snuggle down. 

I saw a TikTok this week that talked about planning winter and I loved it. If you’ve been following me here on Joy The Baker or over on my Substack, you know I love to plan. I love a routine. What I love about this TikTok is that it breaks the darker days down into a manageable timeline, with a focus on how we will be caring for ourselves during the shift in season. I have a pretty solid routine, and I’ve upped my self-care this year, but I’m looking forward to expanding it with a focus on winter. For me, that means more supplements (Vitamin D!), my happy lamp, and planning some things to look forward to so that I don’t completely hibernate and disconnect for months. So far on my calendar, I have a trip to Los Angeles to do the Gilmore Girls Studio Tour (ultimate fall activity) with a friend, hosting a “You’ve Got Mail” viewing party, and Thanksgiving in the desert. When this post goes up, I’ll be mid-weekend in a small mountain town where I’ll be writing, hiking, spending time with a bestie, and recharging.

While I have always been someone who thrives with something exciting on the horizon, I am trying to build a life that feels good in between the trips and exciting things. For most of the year, that’s easy: I love summers in the pool, the vibrant beauty of fall (my neighborhood is COVERED in trees and it’s gorgeous), and the blossoming of spring. But my relationship to winter needs some work, and making it better requires some forethought. I’m planning to re-read one of my favorite books on the topic, Wintering by Katherine May, which talks about how to make this natural time of retreat feel purposeful and relaxing, instead of stagnant and sad. My relationship with the holidays is ever-evolving, and I’m thinking about what I want them to feel like this year. I’m giving myself meaningful things to look forward to while also building a winter life that I love — thinking candles, soups, movie nights, cozy outfits, and as always, more blankets. 

I know this community is full of wise humans with brilliant ideas: tell me, as the days get shorter, how do you prepare for winter? What do you look forward to? I can’t wait to read what you have to share.

•  Vegetarian pumpkin pot pie seems like a perfect cozy recipe to kick off the rainy season with. (Joy The Baker)

•  Awe is essential. “But the positive effects of awe hardly end there. Unlike the dark passions, awe is a pro-social emotion. It can encourage attitudes of generosity and altruism; of selflessness, empathy, and compassion. The sense that we are part of something vast and meaningful can create bonds of connection.” I loved this read. (The Atlantic Gift Link)

•  I am always eager to return to London (anywhere in Europe, really) and this Marie Antoinette exhibit looks like a good reason. Also, to eat at Dishoom again (a meal I think about every day). (Harpers Bazaar, Dishoom)

•  This is a spicy one: my friends are bad hosts. Speaking of, I love Chelsea Fagan of The Financial Diet, and I’m super excited about her book, Having People Over, that comes out in a few weeks. She’s been sharing some excellent hosting tips in anticipation of the release — highly recommended viewing. (Substack, Bookshop, Instagram)

•  Definitely ready to shift into soup mode, and these soups are a good start! (Food and Wine)

•  I’ve been eagerly awaiting this Apple Cinnamon Sheet Cake recipe since Joy teased it on Instagram, and I will be baking it as soon as possible. (Joy The Baker)

•  I’m a big skin care person, and I wrote up a list of my favorite body care and shower essentials. Cooler days mean dry skin (and perimenopause means I’m already half lizard) so I’m lathering up these days. (Substack)

•  How The Getty is preserving L.A.’s Black heritage. (Los Angeles Times)

•  Why it’s okay to be awkward. I definitely wasn’t waiting for permission, but this was a great read. (The Good Trade)

•  I’m really enjoying both the Bad Art Every Day Substack and Margaret’s soothing, intelligent, gentle, creative Bad Art Every Day Instagram posts. (Substack, Instagram)

•  Halloween means Candy Bar Blondie season. I make these every year and friends have been inquiring when they’ll be making an appearance. (Joy The Baker)

•  Also on my Substack: everything I learned about being a good friend, I learned from my friends. (Substack)

•  “Emotion regulation doesn’t mean rolling over, looking the other way, staying silent, or pretending everything is fine when it isn’t. It’s about self-preservation—making sure your anger, frustration, or sadness fuels action that actually makes a difference rather than just burning you out. And let’s be honest: Wouldn’t life be better if we all stopped making each other’s bad moods worse?” The overreaction epidemic, and what you can do about it. (TIME)

•  Loved reading about what Brene Brown is up to these days. (NYT Gift Link)